Context: Butch is still playing The Last of Us. Shockingly, things don’t look good. Especially not once the biscotti shows up.
I’m inside the science building. There has been much foreshadowing that (surprise surprise) bad shit’s about to go down, as there are no fireflies or guards or anything but monkeys. At this point, it’s pretty much “nooooo…. really?” I’d have been stunned to find a bunch of healthy fireflies sitting around eating beans all content.
We were all shocked to find the Fireflies not there, right?
“Wait–something bad apparently happened? But HOOOOOOOOWWWW????”
Don’t worry, though, it’s all going to turn out great. You just have to figure out which one room on this entire abandoned campus is their hideout, and then they’ll all be gathered there with cake and balloons yelling “surprise!”
Ha. Actually, that would have been quite a twist. Something DIDN’T go horribly wrong?! My nerves can’t take it!
HA! Or you stumble on some kindly dude drinking tea. He offers you a biscotti.
Or here’s something good: Dude says “Hi! You look cold. Tea and biscotti?” and you make an assumption that he must be evil, so you nuke him with a molotov, only to find out, no, those were homemade biscotti and you destroyed the one man on earth who remembers how to make them.
They keep saying “I was expecting to see people by now,” and I wanted to say to them “Well, I wasn’t. Everything else pretty much sucks.” Maybe they got their hopes up after seeing how Tommy turned out.
Once the secret of biscotti has perished from the earth, what’s the freakin’ POINT even trying to find a cure? Just give up and die now.