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Puncherson_64LadyBrain_64

Note: minor gameplay spoilers regarding DAI. Sex scene spoiler for The Witcher 2, apparently.

Butch:

So after you go to Orlais (which I’ll do when I’m around 14, 15th level), I imagine another story mission becomes unlockable, yes? So what level does THAT want?

Feminina:

Um…16-19 I think? I haven’t even looked at the next step in a while, I’ve been so busy running around on sidequests. Important, valuable sidequests. I got a very nice sword the other day! One of my warriors can use it when we get to level 20.

Butch:

The fact that there are swords that you can’t even USE until level 20 (made it to 13, barely, yesterday, and that’s just Evelyn) make me think this game is big. As if I didn’t know that.

I suppose that part of me that sometimes thinks “I have to make this last until May” has to worry less.

Feminina:

Yeah, I always level up a bit before everyone else. I suppose as the Inquisitor, I get a small extra share of the team’s XP.

I just finally got to put on this level-19 armor I’ve been carrying around for 10 levels. Naturally, it looks stupid on me (giant ruffled shoulders, what the hell?)…but it’s protective. And how can I ask my people to walk around in ridiculous outfits if I won’t do the same? So I wear it.

May isn’t that far away. I think we’ll be fine.

Butch:

Ruffled shoulders? On a qunari? I’m still in my basic armor duster coat, which sucks as armor but it looks nice. (Tangent note on how Morrigan’s armor was somehow better than the double thick, neck to boot armor that this BEBHBB is wearing……) I did get something new for Dorian, which changed his appearance by adding a bright yellow, rather fashionable if very swishy sash.

Feminina:

I had Dorian in that for a while! Brilliantly colored, dashing, very interesting choice for a mage, who presumably does not wish to attract extra attention on the battlefield. Had good bonuses, though.

We seem to be taking opposite tacks on this: you’re wearing something that looks good but has bad AC, while I’m going with the silly-looking but defensive option. I finally, regretfully, even sold the Hat of the Inquisitor, even though it was SOOOOOOO dashing (looked good on everyone!), because its 13 was just dangerous if someone could have had a 20. Safety first! If I could make my companions put on helmets and elbow pads before battle, I would.

So that’s good…another small way that we’re not playing the game exactly the same. Ha.

Butch:

DA? Practical armor? Morrigan. ‘Nuff said. And really, while my duster is very dashing, and has this great lapel action going on, I’m wearing it and the leather thereunder in a desert. I mean, reduces the risk of skin cancer, I suppose, but c’mon.

Hey, I’m wearing it cuz I have yet to find any mage armor that’s worth a damn. Trust me, if I found a clown suit that would make it so Evelyn doesn’t die in ten seconds, it’s on. It’s NOT cool that the ONE person who can close those damn rifts dies ALL THE TIME. If I find one more apprentice coat…..know why there are so many apprentice coats out there? Cuz the people who wore them DIED.

Feminina:

You could wear the yellow plaid instead of giving it to Dorian. Why should he have all the AC and fashion sense?

I hate to suggest another time-sink but you might also have good luck crafting your own. Mr. O’ made himself a shield that he says is still better than anything he’s found in the world (after 5 levels or something), and I had several of my people in armor I made for a while. I’m still using one of the daggers I made, actually. So you CAN actually create things that are worth the time, especially if you’re not finding anything in the world to suit you.

Rogues are also not the toughest class around (though sturdier than mages), so I feel the pain of dying all the time while trying to disrupt/close the damn rifts. I’m always yelling at my companions “no, DISTRACT them from hitting me while I do this, don’t run towards me and lead them this way!”

At least I can sneak, so I’ll try to get the battle going in one place, and then steal away to a quieter part of the field to do my disrupt thing. If mages could also sneak?…well, that would be unbalanced and will never happen, but man, it would be handy while you were playing it.

Butch:

My duster has sorta become my look. I mean, until I find Morrigan and take her outfit.

My people do OK with not leading the battle to me, but, eventually, you have to go into the circle of glowing soon to be demons if you want to close the damn thing. Taunt works well. Though that’s another mental image: Demon: “Hmm….that person over there seems to have a mystical mark that could kill us all…..but that asshole said my momma’s fat. I’m after him!”

What we mages CAN do is paralyze. That’s a nice trick. AIEE! Being attacked! Freeze! and……close.

Feminina:

Dorian paralyzes people, and it is pretty sweet. Or Solas freezes them, which is the same basic idea. “Stand still while I hack you!”

Speaking of Morrigan’s outfit, it occurs to me that the revealing clothes are really not as big a thing in this game as in previous ones. I’d have to review more carefully to be sure, but off the top of my head…anything you put on Sera becomes kind of skin-tight, and Vivienne shows some skin from time to time (and of course there are Iron Bull’s and Varric’s chests), but for the most part people are pretty covered. They’ve got some weird outfits (the frilly shoulders, bright yellow plaid on mages, anything Orlesian), but most things look…kind of practical for adventuring, really.

I didn’t think that was allowed.

Butch:

Good point. Even my around the house wear is pretty staid. Hawke, at least, wore boots and a skirt around the mansion. Sera is skin tight but not low cut.

Buuuuuuuut I have it on good authority that the sex scenes make up for it. It DOES say “nudity” and not “partial nudity” on the box.

Maybe that’s some sort of convention. TW2’s outfits were more practical than DAOs. But then…..there were THOSE scenes. Like, there’s a certain amount of skin one can show.

Feminina:

I’ll take that trade. If nothing else, it makes better sense in context.

People WOULD probably wear clothes covering their bodies when going into battle, and WOULD probably take all their clothes off when diving into bed with someone they wanted to…get to know a little better. Burlap lingerie is a classic look, but most people are going to take it off after a certain point.

Probably as quickly as possible given that it must be super itchy. “Let me slip into something a little less comfortable. And then slip out of it again.”

I argue historical accuracy! Or, more to the point, I argue suspension of disbelief. I’m for it.

Nakedness: as a general rule, more practical for sex than for armed combat.

Butch:

Indeed. Accuracy. We’re into accuracy here.

That and the whole magic during sex bit from TW2. In one of the great touches in all of RPGdom, ever, Triss, in the wonderful Elven Bath scene, makes her clothes disappear in a shower of purple sparkles. Cuz you KNOW a mage would learn that.

Take notes, Morrigan. Take notes.

Feminina:

A mage WOULD learn that, although only one interested in showing off. I’m sure there are ascetics who would find it impractical. Sure, it saves the trouble of undressing before bed, but…purple sparkles? Probably just attract moths.

Although a critical question is, what happens to the clothes? If they’re gone for good, that’s going to add up to a hefty apparel bill over time, and an economical mage would hesitate to employ this spell, especially if she or he was wearing something nice.

On the other hand, if the clothes are merely transported to a convenient location out of sight, and possibly even cleaned and pressed along the way, I can see pretty much every mage using it as a matter of course.

“Sure, Purple Sparkle Clean Clothes, we covered that in home ec in mage high school. Didn’t realize it would seem so seductive in the public baths context.”

Butch:

Oh come on. Mages were teenagers. College students. I’m sure they also learned spells that made cheap mead appear. Or made it so their parents didn’t notice they took the carriage keys.

I mean, if the only lingerie around is burlap, you gotta do SOMETHING on that big date, right? You go down to the burlap Victoria’s Secret, you say “Fuck that, too scratchy. I’ll leave that for the rogues and warriors. I’ll try something else.”

What happens to the clothes. Hmm. Well, after that scene, she’s dressed again. I mean, they WERE trapped in an underground ancient bathhouse. They just…uh…came back.

Don’t ask questions. It was a great scene.

That was a hell of a bath. Roses and everything. Statues. Very romantic.

In defense of that scene, it was actually a thought provoking scene. No, really. It brought up the idea of usurping the culture of others, misinterpreting it, insulting it. It’s the only thought provoking sex scene I’ve ever seen.

And the magic nudity was damn hot.

Feminina:

Mmm, cheap mead…I could use that spell. Although it’s hard to drink too much mead–so sweet. I suppose as teenagers anything with alcohol is fair game. Maybe the sweeter the better. Plus, casting spells must use a lot of energy, and maybe the sugars help you recharge, or something.

Wait, why am I worrying about how much mead mages can drink? I think we’ve strayed from our original topic. Even farther than usual.

Butch:

Lyrium-spiked mead. We gotta work on that.

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