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LadyBrain_64Puncherson_64

Feminina:

Played a bit last night, but didn’t do anything except look for shards in the Graves. Next time: back to the Hinterlands to collect last four shards, back to the Oasis to open the last door in the temple, and then…that’ll probably be it for that session, but next step after that is probably the next glowing green plot point.

Butch:

Stop it! You’re going to have to buy the Order, you know. I didn’t play at all. Mrs. McP has class tomorrow, so that seems a good time to go…ahem…finish some stuff with Sera. Then maybe the Plains, maybe not. Maybe Morrigan.

I am so far behind.

Feminina:

Don’t think of it as being so far behind: think of it as having so much good stuff still ahead of you!

That reminds me, I didn’t make it back to Skyhold at all last night. I should go pay a visit to Blackwall, and make sure there’s not some important component of our tempestuous love affair that I’m missing. He’s no Sera, in fact he’s a dour brooding loner, but he’s MY dour brooding loner.

For the moment. After all this is over, he belongs to the Gray Wardens, but hell, we could all die in the final battle with Corypheus, so I’m not bothering to worry about the future.

Butch:

Yes! Once you’re in a relationship, go! I have already gotten to the point where I can gratuitously kiss Sera for no real reason. We always go out on the balcony.

Man, what it is with you and Grey Wardens you cannot have? First Allistair, now this. And Anders! Wasn’t he a grey warden? Haven’t you learned there’s no future there?

Or is that why you’re doing it?

Feminina:

OMG, I do have a Gray Warden habit! I never saw the pattern! Sometimes it takes a calm, outside observer to point out the destructive repetitive behaviors in which one has gotten caught up. Like continually dating Gray Wardens who’ll leave me for various reasons. (Anders was sort of a lapsed Gray Warden, but still part of that whole scene.)

OK, in DA4, staying the hell away from the Wardens! Romantically, that is.

Unless, as you say, that’s actually why I’m attracted to Gray Wardens, because deep down I don’t want a permanent relationship and I know that they’ll do me the favor of leaving so I don’t have to bother breaking up with them. Hm.

All right, I’ll work on these issues in therapy and figure out which it is, and then either latch onto the first Warden I see in the next game, or approach him/her only with a 10-foot pole, depending.

Maybe once I’ve worked through this and had a psychological breakthrough, I’ll finally get some freaking advanced skills on my inquisitor skill tree!

I thank you for this insight.

Butch:

My pleasure. I do it cuz I care. After all, it’s far easier to play these games if you know your own crazy preferences. I came to terms with the whole BHBEBB* thing long ago.

But you so have that habit! You do! Very destructive. But then, this is the first DA game I didn’t go for a very emotionally flawed apostate, as I wound up with Merrill in DA2 (on that, I was kind of annoyed that Hawke seemed to be rather flip about Merrill being far away. We were tight, dammit). I didn’t really have a flawed apostate option in this one, did I? Don’t even say Solas. I don’t even like Solas.

You do play roguish types. Ones that don’t want commitment.

Feminina:

It’s important to come to terms with our issues. That way, even if we don’t actually do anything about them, we can at least have an idea of what to expect. CHOOSE the BHBEBB or the problem-laden Gray Warden, knowingly and consciously, and then if she runs off in ME3, or he leaves me for the throne of Ferelden or to start a mage rebellion or to make amends for his previous wrong-doing, we’ll be able to say “I made my decision thoughtfully, and I accept the consequences.”

Butch:

Amen. One must know one’s weaknesses to fully appreciate one’s strengths.

Feminina:

My strengths include a keen eye for loot and a willingness to climb any hill, scour any pile of rubble, desecrate any tomb, and search the pockets of any corpse in order to acquire loot.

Wait…is that a strength, or a hideous character flaw?

“The reason I stopped flirting with the Inquisitor? Greed, man. Her insatiable greed. I mean, we’d be hot on the trail of some horrible monster, and she’d be stopping to loot the bodies of fallen villagers or haring off up some mountain to pick up flowers and rocks. And some of those things we fought, we didn’t even HAVE to fight, if she’d have just stayed out of the damn tombs! It just disgusted me after a while, the prioritization of loot over safety, comfort, efficient travel, caring relationships…”

People just don’t understand how much it costs to run an organization like the Inquisition. I’m barely keeping us afloat here, on the looted pocket change of zombies and rogue templars.

*Black-haired, blue-eyed BioWare Babe

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