Note: Some cagey, barely-a-spoiler discussion of the Blackwall and Cole plots in DAI


Man, fuck Blackwall. Just fuck Blackwall. You must’ve been one desperate Qunari.

That being said, it was interesting to do that right after I did Cole’s thing. Nicely done, bioware encouraging that.

Fuck Blackwall all the same.

You know, though, I KNEW something was funky with him. He wasn’t hearing the Calling. That always struck me as odd.

I let Cole be more human. You?

I also stand by my assertion that the reason Cole sorta sucks in combat is that they had this awesome character, then said “Well, shit, what do we do with him when everyone’s out sharding?” I mean, I even asked “Then why aren’t you a mage?” when he’s talking about the real Cole, cuz, really, mage would make sense. What he should have said is (imagine Cole voice here):

“They had ideas…so many ideas….the mages….three of them already written….too good to cut from the game….and only two rogues….two rogues as NPCS, but so many…..so many mages….and so…they had to change me…give the party balance….and so I changed, and died, and died, and died.”

Evelyn would’ve said “Yup. Thought so.”


Oh, Blackwall. He was so sad…I was so desperate…and we lived happily ever after! Sort of. Considering I gave him back to the wardens after Corypheus was defeated. And yeah, that did suddenly make sense of his failure to notice the Calling that was freaking out every other warden in the world.

I had Cole be more spirit–so we finally did something different! He got all merciful and shiny and distant.


You stayed with Blackwall after all that? Damn. That is…..desperate.

I dunno, the human thing seemed to fit more with my character. Plus, if I have to choose between Varric’s ideas and Solas’…. It’s interesting. I guess, then, you didn’t get to take him to lunch in Val Royeaux, did you? That was quite a scene.


No, I took Cole to lunch. Maybe it didn’t make that much difference, then, whether you encouraged his human or spirit sides. That was pretty interesting, wasn’t it? Seeing him going about his business, so to speak. Plus I just like the idea of you going to lunch in a nice restaurant with a total weirdo like Cole.


“Can I interest you in our special ham?” “I…don’t….eat….”

But did you get the laughing bit? When he was trying to laugh?


No, I didn’t get him trying to laugh. So there must have been different lunch scripts! With me, it was as if I was the only one who could see him, and he wandered around whispering to people while I sat at the table and said something like “I’m expecting someone to join me…or not.”

“I don’t eat” is pretty funny.


It was a good scene with Cole. He’s not used to being seen. He keeps trying to laugh (at things he shouldn’t be laughing at) and, if you’re proud of him, he admits he’s doing it so “things don’t hurt as much.”

I think he’s happier this way. I think. Themes and all.

On an unrelated note, the other day I’m being a cheap bastard and plowing through the most middle class salt of the earth shit you can find: the coupons. You know, the ones no person outside of cheap assed middle aged Americana looks at? And I see a coupon for some eye drops or some shit. In it, a couple, man and a woman, about our age. She’s holding a game controller, and they are squinting. The text? “The average gamer spends 22 hours a week playing. Are your lenses up to the challenge?”

In the Sunday coupons.

That says something about something, but I must ponder what.


I used to be big into coupons! Then we got too cheap to buy the paper.

That’s kind of awesome that video games and…let’s say, MATURE players, have made it to the coupon pages, though. We ARE mainstream! Although 22 hours a week? We should be so lucky.

“The average gamer 35 and over only spends 3 hours a week playing, while the average gamer 12-25 spends 102 hours, but we don’t want to make you depressed with the comparison, and you should definitely buy these eye drops anyway.”


Yeah, I sorta felt the same way. 22 hours a week? Shit. No. And yet my eyes STILL hurt after a while. (Seriously bioware, next time make that codex font a lot bigger. A LOT bigger.

That and, if you want to nit pick, and who doesn’t, the controller was, I think, from a game cube circa 1997. Maybe they were going for nostalgia.

Gamers are selling eye drops. I can’t decide if that’s a victory or depressing.


I’m going with victory. First, it acknowledges that not all people who play video games are teenagers, and second, it acknowledges that adults are interested in things besides detergent and Pepto-Bismol and collectible plates. (When I was a kid, I was obsessed with the ads for collectible plates that are scattered throughout the coupons. I WANTED a plate collection! Now, it’s hard to think of anything I’m less interested in having on my wall than plates with heart-warming scenes on them, but for some reason I was really into them when I was 10.)


If it makes you feel any better, now all the plates seem to have Jesus, or what I call “sorta Jesus:” pictures of lambs and quotes like “We’ll always walk together” and shit. Now you could argue that that’s just a lamb that likes walking next to you, but I doubt it. I think there’s something there. Smells like Jesus.

We should show that plate to Cassandra, Varric and Solas. See what they think.


Solas would say “lambs like walking next to ME. I don’t know why you’re implying there’s something unusual about this.”

Cassandra would say “why isn’t there some hearty and practical food on this plate?”

And Varric would want to collect the plates to assemble them into a mosaic, and then tell a story about it.