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Having not actually started The Witcher 3 yet, we have no spoilers, but talk about one of the trailers, with a digression into fantasy accents



Not that you have to be convinced, because we’re both totally going to play this, but this trailer is a wonderful piece of trailer film making. And really explains the relationship between witcher and monster so well.

Watch with sound when you can. Sound is key.


Yeah, I was trying to finish Uncharted on the Vita first while I was traveling to my conference, but it’s not going to happen. Now I just want to make it through Life is Strange, episode 3, before I get too deep into something bigger.

Interesting trailer, though! A female monster, I see–a familiar theme from the short stories I read. The author should be pleased that his vision is being captured so well.

Geralt looks so old and tired…truly, a hero with whom mature players such as ourselves can empathize.


Creepy song. Did you hear the song?

But the best part was the end. The monster crying. The two of them there like they’ve just slept together….but didn’t. Sex and death. Very witcher.


Liked the song. Appreciated the subtle death/romance aspects. Liked the hint of understanding, even comradery, between the two, while they also shared the knowledge that they were each definitely going to try to kill the other.

Impressed by the graphic gore. All very well done.


Yeah, see, though, still subtle.

I think you’ll find with CDPR, that even though they do do certain things with some degree of wanton abandon (like, say, sex and gore), and they get a lot of press for that, what with unicorns and all, they are able to weave a certain subtlety that bioware, even with its coy burlap and cutaways during beheadings, never gets. We’ve said in the blog that bioware, though I love ’em, paints in very broad strokes. CDPR doesn’t. Sometimes people are too distracted by the boobs and blood to notice.


To be fair, boobs and blood are extremely distracting.

I’ll try not to let my attention wander too much every time some attractive naked monster comes by, though.


Now now….you snark now….you won’t snark once you start playing.

Well, you’ll still be you…..so you’ll snark slightly less.


“Snark slightly less” is the best I can offer. Also a good slogan for a burlap T shirt.


You know, it just occurred to me that the song that monster was singing in the launch trailer was a song designed to calm children scared of monsters by telling them the witchers will protect them.

The monster was singing it.

Can a fucking combat launch trailer have themes? Is that, like, even allowed?


Yeah, I kind of liked that aspect. And then the last words as it ends were “he’ll eat you whole,” which in the initial reading would presumably be to scare children about monsters, but in light of what we’ve seen, becomes something monsters tell each other about witchers. Again, the ‘who is really the monster?’ question arises.

Maybe everyone.


Yup. Good stuff all around.

I think you’ll see this stuff is the polar opposite of bioware in the cliche department (save for that whole Dwarves are scottish thing, that never seems to go away every). Bioware, I love ’em, I do, but they do tend to fall into the “Hero is HEROIC and bad guy is BAD” rut. Yeah, ok, Shep could punch a reporter and Corypheous was praying at the end, but nothing really grey in the land of bioware. The Witcher? Shit, if you watched that trailer things are not like that at all. AT ALL.

You’re gonna like this game, you will.


I already hate it. Just to be contrary.

Yeah, yeah, gorgeous, thought-provoking, action-packed, whatever. I wish I was fighting giant robots right now instead. Ha.


There could be giant robots. But this being CDPR, they’ll be naked.


I think in fantasy games we call those “golems.” Naked golems.


Ah, fair enough. Golems.

That’s another thing: Dwarves are Scottish, yes? What do they like to build? Golems. Golems are out of Jewish mythology. There aren’t a lot of Jewish Scots. What gives?


That’s a very good question. Maybe they’re a lost tribe of wandering Scottish Jewish Dwarves, who fled their ancient homeland (Edinburgh) in days of yore to hide underground and craft things.

But yeah, seriously, what IS with the “all dwarves are Scottish” trope? I suppose the stereotypical gruffness and burliness of Scotsmen, plus the need to differentiate them linguistically in some way, but it really just STUCK in a lot of places.

Now when we make a game, just to be different, the elves are going to be Scots and the dwarves are…hm…Swedish.


I can see them being all “Man, you can NOT get a decent corned beef on rye in this land of haggis. Fuck this.”

Fair warning: Unlike DA, which had pretty good rules about who had what accent, TW is kinda all over the road. They sorta established that witchers and sorceresses were American and the humans and important dwarves were British/Scottish, but there were exceptions there, too (Dandilion was American). Nilfgaard was Russian, but now that they cast the very British Charles Dance as their emperor, that’s out. It’s sort of a mess. But Zoltan Chivay (they do come up with some great, great names), who is the dwarf you’ll get to know best, is SO Scottish it hurts.

But speaking of Dragon Age, DA mixed it up. All the Dwarves in DA seem to be from Queens.


All right, I’ll just assume accents mean nothing.

They probably all run together for Polish people anyway, right?


Well, the real voice cast is Polish. I went to imdb to see if there were any actors I recognized, and they only had the polish cast, Geralt and Charles Dance.

Do the Polish dwarves have Scottish accents? That would be a thing. Polish with a Scottish accent. I think you’d pull muscles trying that.


If only I knew someone Polish to ask!

You do wonder if accents have the same kinds of connotations in Polish, or maybe if they don’t think of ‘fantasy’ as having British accents the way we tend to. (I mean, “do a fantasy voice!” basically means “affect a British accent” to a lot of people.)


Would be hilarious if that were true.

Maybe it’s all different though. Like the dwarves speak Polish with Finnish accents.


That could totally be it! Or maybe it’s just regional within Poland, like “all the elves have Warsaw accents, and the dwarves have Krakow accents. Because duh, that’s what they sound like.”

Someone on the internet has probably written about this. Send them our way!