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Mild spoiler for a not-quite-bug in the Phantom of the Apiary quest. Also discussion of beard growth.


So I went magpie. I didn’t MEAN to go magpie, but I did.

Wound up at this halfling honey camp with a monster contract that I did all the way through. Have you been there? Cuz if not, I’ll stop talking. And helped more kids. At least I think I did. And got a hag treasure that had a nice formula for enhanced moon dust.

But no story mission.

See, I was right. I went towards this place cuz there were buildings on the map, and, whaddya know, quest. Contact. One I could do! And did do. I’ll get back to the main quest. Someday.


I went to the honey farm, tracked the monster to the house, but couldn’t get through the locked basement door. Aard didn’t work and I looted everything within 20 miles without finding a key. So I didn’t finish it–must go back later to investigate further.

But I did do the bit with the kids stealing chickens, and I THINK I helped them…suggested the woman help them, anyway, and she sort of grumbled “well, I guess I’ll give them some food,” so that’s a promising start, right?

Then I finished up with the Count’s Treasure quest, about which I’ll say no more.


Ok, I did the same, and got frustrated cuz I thought it was a bug, cuz the quest thing kept bringing me back. So I went online to see. Turns out there’s just a very specific area to interact with the door. Go back to that door, and, on the left side of the door, just keep spamming X to interact until you hit the right part. That initiates a cutscene where the halfling comes up and give you the key. Voila.

I did the same with the woman and the kids. We shall see.

Say no more. Except, is that a long bit? Where is it on the one night/six weeks scale? From where I am?


Oh, is that it? OK, cool, thanks. I’ll go pivot around in front of the door next time I play. I even went back and tried talking to the halflings to see if I could ASK them for the key, but no, of course I have to go and bang fruitlessly on the door until they notice instead.

Count Reuven’s Treasure took ME about 3 weeks, but that was because I went all magpie in the middle of it. I think if I’d done it straight through it would only have been a couple of sessions. It’s not one of those Baron-style “this quest is actually 10 other quests” things.


Yeah, bang on the door, all over the door. Esp on the left side of the door. I was convinced it was bugged, but it should work.

And do, cuz once you do that, I have themeage to throw out there. I won’t spoil.

Really? Cuz I’m getting the whole lots of quests thing. I still have yet to visit the casino or the arena. It’s never straightforward, is it? I anticipate same with the other one.

This is a very long game. Not that I’m complaining.

Was there a party?


Weren’t the casino and the arena in Get Junior? I’m getting those two quests mixed up now. Maybe those areas showed up in both.

Let me think…you already talked to the troll, so then you check out the hole in the wall (not a spoiler–you WERE going to check out the hole in the wall, right?), and then you…and then talk to…and then go…and then do…I still think there aren’t THAT many steps to it, unless I’m blanking on something major. I mean, it’s not half an hour’s work, but it’s not going to sprawl all over Velen like Family Matters did.

I haven’t been to a party yet, but I have learned that, indeed, there is one. I’ll say no more.


Yes. That’s get junior. They are his places.

Ok. Not bad about the Count’s Treasure. Though some of those “talk tos” are long. That’s another thing: other games, talk to means, like, five minutes. Here, the bath scene, was just a spiral of talking without the chance to save that must’ve taken 20 minutes, which is a long time with a hungry wife.


It’s true, the conversation sequences can get quite long, and with no good place to stop if you don’t want to have to watch them all over again later. And skipping with square only gets you so far.

I just hope I still look good in these stolen clothes. Do you suppose people will frown because they’re the height of Nilfgaardian fashion, and Novigrad is hosting Redania at the moment? Someone could notice that!


Nah, you’re fine. You’re out of uniform. You’ve been wearing Temerian shit all this time and no one cares.


I’ve been wearing a lot of stuff. We go through armor like a pop star doing costume changes during a concert. “Hold on, let me just duck backstage and–TA DA!–another suit of armor! Or at least different pants.”

I’ve been wearing the same gloves for a long time, though. Can’t seem to do better than Assassin Gloves.

But it’s true, people should be happy just to see me in something non-combat-focused. And I should be happy to prove that there was a good reason to loot the emperor’s closet and then carry the clothes with me for six months or however long it’s been in game time. Probably not that long, actually…a couple of months, maybe? Is there a clock for that? I know Skyrim had one.


Really? I don’t change gear much. Maybe I should loot more hags.

I like the assassin’s gloves. I just couldn’t get into those oven mitts. Not really me, you know?

Plus, for me, the old Temerian shit has sentimental value.

What I will say re gear is the rather disappointing nature of witcher gear. All this I went through to get witcher gear, and I always wind up using some magical thing that isn’t that. I sorta want to do the treasure hunts, cuz they’re cool and have some plot, but I fear the reward will be lame. Yet I can’t bring myself to sell the stuff either.


It is unfortunate about the witcher gear, isn’t it? I, too, have accumulated a fair number of diagrams, and yet the stuff I can use (as opposed to high-level things I can’t yet touch) isn’t as good as random stuff I picked up elsewhere. I’m not using any witcher gear at all right now. Unlike you, though, I sell it right off. I’ve got plenty of diagrams, I could make it or something like it again if I wanted to!

I also concur on the metal oven mitts. They’re slightly better AC than the assassin’s gloves, but…they’re just ugly. Plus I imagine they’re probably stiff and clunky to use, and my Geralt doesn’t like getting his hands all sweaty.

Maybe you SHOULD loot more hags. I seem to swap some piece of gear every couple of days. Just chasing those slightly higher numbers, that’s me.


I think I’m using the enhanced pants. But not much else. I found quite a nice sword the other day that by far eclipsed the one I had.

I still have that sword from Velen that I think I’m keeping for sentimental reasons. That and I just know that the moment I sell it I’ll get some diagram that enhances it and turns it into a beast.

The metal mittens are uncool, and also how does he do signs? I picture him in the oven mitts, trying to axii a dude during conversation, waving them around like a madman saying “Uh….hold still….um….give me a minute….are you tired yet?”


I kept a couple of swords for sentimental reasons for a while, but eventually gave it up. Now the only thing I keep in this category is Yennefer’s letter. Because I figure he’d want to look at it once in a while, breathe in the gentle gooseberry scent, run his fingers over the lines of the handwriting, all that romantic stuff. Assuming he’s in love or whatever.

Yeah! Giant steel mittens are TERRIBLE for signs! I knew there was a totally practical reason I was avoiding them, and that it’s definitely not just because I’m vain and think they look dorky.


I finally sold the moonblade. It was time. Though selling named stuff is so very hard.

By the way, on that front, considering you didn’t play TW2, how are you playing the whole Yen/Triss thing? You picking or waffling?

The mitts do look dorky. But then, so do mutton chops and that didn’t stop you.


Waffling. Basically playing as if all bets are off (previous relationships entail no implied commitments in the present), but that I still have some complex feelings for both of them, and…we’ll see where it goes. I’ve spent more time with Triss lately, but somehow the opportunity never presents itself to just fall into bed, so…we’ll see where it goes.

The muttonchops were freakin’ awesome! Attack me if you must, but do not speak ill of the muttonchops! Ha.

I’m clean shaven at the moment. The hair and beard don’t seem to grow anymore, once you’ve cut them once? Now I kind of wish I’d just left my hair alone, grown it out to my waist, really cherished the mountain man thing. Oh well.


That’s odd. Mine grows. I have to shave like every damn playing session. Did you find the drunk barber yet?


Really? That IS weird. I’ve gotten a couple of haircuts since the first one, just for the hell of it, not because it ever seems to look any different. And I’ve gone plenty of time in between them, so I should have noticed it. I definitely noticed it before I got to the first barber. I got my hair pretty short last time I cut it, and that was many play sessions ago, and it doesn’t seem to be any longer. Hm. Maybe less time has passed in the game than I think. I will continue to not cut it again, and see if it grows.

I did find the drunk barber! He was funny. My haircut turned out OK, though (the short one), so I guess he kept his nimble fingers. Ooh, maybe he has a magical drunken power to make your hair not grow!

That would be…a weird thing to put in the game.


Oh, wait. The hair stays. The beard grows.

I avoided the drunk barber. Just left. Went to the nice one in the center of town. Who probably isn’t as good.


Oh, the hair stays! OK. Well, the muttonchops must just be bushy enough that I didn’t notice them growing out while watching the hair for signs of change. I did notice some whiskers over the weekend, changing from clean-shaven, so I guess that solves the mystery.

Oooooor…the muttonchops never changed because of drunken barber magic, as I speculated before: my most recent shave was with another guy. Hm…note to self: return to the drunken barber for further study.


Yeah, go get a clean shave and then watch it grow. Though mine does seem to be slowing down, some, too. Maybe it has to do with quest progression.