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Spoilers for The Last Wish, and for one possible way that romance can work out in the very end…or not

Butch:

Did “The Last Wish.”

And told Yen I didn’t love her.

Yes, yes, I know. She’s a BEBHBB. Yes. She is. But still.

I figured, the Triss thing was real. The scene at the ball clinched it. I didn’t buy that he could do that and still love Yen. AND I metagamed. I think there’s stuff in there that the game WANTED you to do this for story reasons. I mean, she shouts “You are FREE!” when she does the bit with the genie, the first thing you see thereafter is the seal broken in two….the imagery just suggests “over.” Plus it led to a great moment, the two of them sitting for a while…. that was really kind of heartbreaking, and so different from the way most games would do it, which would be with stomping and screaming and spells. And the portal flashing on the BROKEN BOAT in the distance.

This game gets it right, man.

And it’s better for themes. Is telling Yen you DON’T love her a victory for love (cuz Triss) or not (cuz Yen?) We won’t be sure, will we? I’m going to end up alone, won’t I?

Plus I was still a little pissed over that whole garden bit. Triss got tortured to help out Ciri. Yen broke a garden. Not cool.

I’m also still just bowled over that the little ugly baby thing I had forgotten about is important. That’s SO cool.

Tell ya. Good game.

Feminina:

Good for you…I did that differently, so it will be interesting to see whether it works out differently for you now. I got through the whole Last Wish thing and was like, man, with all that history…I guess he DOES love her. So I said I didn’t feel any differently without the spell, and she said she didn’t either. And we sat quietly admiring the view for a bit, kind of snuggled up. It felt nice. BUT…there was a sense of impending doom because what-do-I-do-about-the-fact-that-I-also-told-TRISS-I-loved-her? It must be nice to not have that thing hanging over you.

Although…yeah, Yen broke a garden instead of getting tortured, and I felt bad about that too, but she kind of did what she had to. I mean, offering to get tortured in exchange for that information wasn’t really on the table, and you DID need to know that stuff she found out. Plus, she totally took all the blame so that you could maintain your cordial relationship with the locals, which was honest but I thought also pretty upstanding of her, considering you didn’t actually try to stop her (not that you COULD have, since that wasn’t a choice for the player, but nevertheless, in the game world the fact is that you DIDN’T).

But yeah, nice work breaking up with Yen–I’m glad we’ll get some actual different things to compare now!

Butch:

Only took us about 291 hours of game time! Hooray!

Next I’m gonna mop up the werewolf, which still is a thing, and then back to Velen for contracts and shit. That byways place has had a whuppin’ coming for some time.

Huh, though. We sat and looked out at stuff…..rather awkwardly. Or not. He did say “I still like spending time with you….” and it was unclear if that meant friends or not. Nice. But sitting was rather sad.

See, you did what you did to avoid the strangeness of today. See, I feel bad. Like I really feel like a hurt a person’s feelings. Note, I am not psychotic. I know this is a game, and these people are not real. I didn’t say anything to anyone, and yet I feel bad about what I did last night. Or Geralt did. But he’s not real either! You know what I mean. I should not feel this way, as I am a rational sane human adult. But there ya go.

As for Yen doing what she had to, that may as be, but the way she was to the poor dead guy was cold, man. He HELPED Ciri, and his reward was this shit. He wasn’t a coward. He was brave (and smitten. Why no Ciri nudity? Hmm? I digress). And yet as he’s pleading “Clear my name!” she could care less. There was no need for that. None. Is that the kind of person you want to cuddle up with for all eternity? No.

That twist: that the “coward” was helping her and it was all a misunderstanding was great. This game is great. Have I said that?

Feminina:

Hmm…I feel like we probably both sat there admiring the scenery, but with two very different takes on it. Mine was comfortable, friendly, kind of sweet, like “we’ve figured THAT out: we do care about each other.” (And yet, as I said, there was the sense of doom because of the Triss complication…I think if I had just let Triss go and NOT said “I love you” to her, then it would have REALLY felt right.)

I get feeling bad, though. I do. We hate to be mean to people in games! We’re such softies. And quite honestly, the fear of feeling bad is part of why I DIDN’T tell her I didn’t love her anymore. Because I kind of wanted to, because like you said, it felt right in some ways, but…I also could see at that point how he could love her, and was afraid it would make her sad if I said I didn’t, so I figured what the hell, yeah, I still love you!

Spoiler for my game, but not (now) yours: it didn’t end well for me, romantically. I think it would have been better if I’d ended it with Yen. So if it’s any consolation, even though you feel bad, I think it was likely the right call. Sometimes the right call is hard!

The overlapping werewolf quest was seriously annoying for me. I was stumbling on pieces of both quests in that garden, and as a result I did some things out of order and so right to the end of the game I had this open quest line for a single step in the quest that I never did because I did the later thing first, but I couldn’t get rid of that prompt. Good luck avoiding that. Try to do everything in the order it tells you!

Butch:

Yeah, there was no snuggling for me. Just sort of sat there, looking out. It was well done.

We are softies, though. We’re all “Hmm….how can I justify saying this thing that isn’t nasty?” I took a LONG time before I picked. I mean, if it had been one of those timed decision things, it would have sucked.

But shit these people ARE NOT REAL. They’re not real! Why do we care?

That doesn’t even go to the whole “Wait….we do twelve thousand things that are both totally immoral and illegal every time we play and we don’t feel bad about THAT” part of gaming.

Sure. Wreak utter havoc, no problem. This? Problem.

Shit, even last night, I finished up this fetchy quest where you find some dude’s hallowed horn. Dude was all “Why’d you kill the thieves? They weren’t bad guys.” I rolled my eyes at that. Games says “Dude, you killed a bunch of not bad guys,” I say “Feh.” Game has me “break the heart” of a FICTIONAL CHARACTER and I feel bad.

The fuck is wrong with us?

I did hear a rumor that there’s a quest where there’s a potential threesome that goes horribly wrong, tricking the male sorceress loving gamer into a bad ending.

I want props for not going for it.

And picking the red head! So not like me.

No offense.

But take heart: There’s another romance available in the expansion, and you’re free as a bird!

And the overlapping werewolf stuff started happening during the garden bit. I’ll give it a go, but I won’t kill myself on it. It’s level 15. Time to move along. It’s October, here. I have a preorder looming.

Feminina:

Yes…there was a threesome that turned out badly. I was suspicious immediately when it came up, but what could I do? They offered, and, in my personal interpretation of the story, I did genuinely care about both of them (I wasn’t TRYING to screw them over by proclaiming love for both of them, I just couldn’t make up my mind!), so I said yes. (Although it didn’t really matter–you apparently got dragged into it even if you tried to say no.) Then they handcuffed me to the bed and left. Siiiiiigh. I deserved it, I suppose, although personally I was hoping for more of a “can we sit down and discuss this complicated situation between us and maybe come to some sort of agreement where we either all love each other, or else neither of you love me but you recognize that I loved both of you” outcome.

I respect the game for not just letting you get away with it, though. I mean, in the real world, telling two different people you love them simultaneously is unlikely to turn out well. You can’t just be like “hey, I love you, and you, and you…” and have it all work out smoothly.

And I think a lot of games would do a big “OK, now you have to CHOOSE BETWEEN THEM, and one of them will GET MAD and BE HURT” or whatever, but you’d still have gotten to sleep with everyone, and get to end up with whomever you wanted. For this game to be like “you tried to have it all, and it turns out you get nothing”…I respect that. Also, I care enough about both of them to be glad that at least they’re still friends with each other in my ending. They both hate me, but at least they’re on good terms again, and their friendship predated me and will probably serve them better in the long run than my love anyway. Honestly, Geralt is not a great bet, relationship-wise.

Although I guess YOU did still get to sleep with everyone, and if ending it with Yennefer means you avoid the Threesome of Punishment, then you kind of will get off scot free…except for the crushing emotional pain of having to hurt Yennefer’s feelings. There’s always got to be SOME price to pay.

You brute.

Butch:

“Can we sit down and discuss this.”

I had a feeling that you’d be less understanding, what being a progressive woman like you are. I’d’ve thunk you’d’ve cheered that outcome.

You so deserved it. You womanizer.

It’s true, Geralt’s hardly a keeper. Card playing, whoring, drowner brain smelling dude that he is. But he’s charming, in a luggish way.

The CHOOSE BETWEEN THEM and one will GET MAD and BE HURT is the formula that Bioware has been slinging lo these many years. Which is why we expected it here.

In my defense, I WAS still under the sway of a genie when the unicorn happened. Sorry about that.

Man, the shit he gets away with. “Sorry about that elven bath, Yen. I lost my memory.” “Sorry about that unicorn, Triss, genie and all……”

So did you wind up sleeping with Yen or not? Pretty cold place to do it, that shipwreck.

Feminina:

Being the ‘wanting everything to work out for everybody’ woman I am, I was kind of hoping for a cheerful, hippie-esque “let’s agree that we’ll all just sleep with whomever we want, including sometimes each other as we drift in and out of each others’ lives” thing. I know people have complicated emotions, and I don’t think Geralt was intentionally being a cad (at least, as I played him), so even though I knew it was unlikely, what I WANTED was a nice polyamorous resolution.

WHY can’t I love everyone?!?! I have such a vast, loving heart! (And…stuff.) I just want to share it with everyone! I don’t care if you sleep with other people too…go wild! I’m not jealous!

But no, I knew it wasn’t going to turn out well, and I own the consequences of my indecisiveness. I caused pain to two people I cared about because I couldn’t let either of them go, and I can’t fault them for being angry with me for not being able to make up my damn mind.

And yes, even though I didn’t get the unicorn, I did sleep with Yen–there’s a part later on (which you presumably will not get) where she basically just says “come on, we’re going to have sex.” I don’t believe it was an option at that point to refuse…I think if you don’t break up with her in “The Last Wish,” you’re pretty much locked into the unhappy ending later. Although I might just be soothing myself after the fact–maybe there was a “actually, I DON’T love you anymore and we should call this off” dialogue choice that I missed.

Butch:

“I have a vast loving heart! (And….stuff)” also needs to be a t shirt.

Yup, you deserved it. And really, look at them. Do you want EITHER of them mad? No. And, if they DO get mad, better to have a hot sorceress at your side to deal with the other hot sorceress.

Yet another reason to shack up with a hot sorceress.

Ah, so you had a “I’m still going to bang you despite the fact that I’ll trick you later out of jealous rage” thing? One of THOSE deals? Who’s the cad, now?

I chose well.

And I got the unicorn.

Feminina:

I’m not really sure at what point they got together and decided to do the whole “trick Geralt and handcuff him to a bed” thing. I think she hadn’t talked to Triss yet when she invited me to her room, and it was later that they talked and realized I’d professed love for both of them and was an incorrigible scoundrel who deserved to suffer.

It was harsh, though, man…Yen was like “we’ve realized that Geralt of Rivia is a topic neither one of us need ever think about again,” or something. I was like, come on, we still might need to collaborate on future world-saving endeavors! It’s not as if we shared nothing but sex: we WORKED together! We fought monsters! Traveled! Solved mysteries! We could still do that, at least!

But no, it was like they both just wrote me out of their lives entirely: I ceased to exist for them. Apparently they don’t share my expansive views on free love. Now I know!

Butch:

That IS harsh. But maybe the harsh is BECAUSE they shared more than just sex. Neither seems to care about Keira (do they?) cuz, you know, a fling. Or all the hookers.

Now I feel bad saying that Geralt’s domestic bliss dream was impossible. Maybe he’ll get it, after all!

Ciri better not die, either. Cuz you know what I want? I want to play a game AS Ciri. A whole game. That would rock.

Feminina:

I would play a whole game as Ciri.

Yeah, true, there’s the “we care so much about this because it was MORE than just physical” possibility. I never told Keira I loved her, and neither of them ever mentioned her…although it could also be the case that they just didn’t know I slept with her. Yen and Triss are friends, and would naturally compare stories: Keira might either not have thought it was important enough to mention, or not have cared to rile up the waters with those two by mentioning our brief dalliance.

Also, I never actually visited any hookers or paid anyone in a brothel, but even if I had, I guess we could argue that they likewise didn’t know about it (did you ever go to a brothel right in front of one of them?). Although, as you say, it could also be an emotions thing. “Sleep around all you want, just save your heart for me!” (Your genitalia belong to all the women of the world: I wouldn’t try to interfere with that.)

People do feel that way, apparently: it’s OK if you have mistresses, but you can’t CARE about any of them, or whatever. Like, “sorry I cheated on you but I didn’t LOVE him/her” is supposed to make someone feel better.

Me, I kind of sympathize with Jack Nicholson’s character in ‘Wolf,’ hissing maniacally “I’m supposed to feel better that you cheated on me, dishonored our marriage vows, and it meant NOTHING to you?” (loose paraphrase: I haven’t seen that movie in 20 years), but I get that the other viewpoint is totally a thing.

Butch:

Hey, she’s in the lodge just like Triss and Yen. They know each other. Geralt MENTIONS her….just not… you know….dinner…..

Feminina:

Though really, we talked about how much we liked adventuring with Keira and getting to know her and stuff, so even our relationship with her was more than ‘just physical.’ I dunno. I just know Yen and Triss were not happy.

And if sorceresses ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy. At least nobody handcuffed to a bed in a hotel room.

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