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Puncherson_64LadyBrain_64

Some spoilers for Misty Isle

Butch:

So last night talked to the emperor who told me either his guy commands the army or nothing, so nothing. Then did a contract that let me talk to a troll (spared him, of course) who killed some miners, then OFF TO THE ISLE!

You’re terribly wrong on two counts.

First, you DO know you can fast travel to harbors on a boat, right? And that there was a harbor like really close to where you had to get to? Right? So you could get there in, like, five minutes without any fighting?

Cuz there was and you could.

Also, where’s this XP bonanza I was promised? I got to the isle, followed the bug, found the hut, found the first guy who fell to his death trying to get down, then found a narcoleptic dwarf who I am now escorting. Not bad, right? Well, I kept track of the XP for that and my tally is……NONE. Not a damn one!

I was told there would be XP.

Feminina:

Damn it, I LOOKED for harbors in that area, and couldn’t find any!

But I had some sort of glitch or something, because for a while I couldn’t see harbor signs at all…even in places where I knew they were, like Novigrad. That anchor symbol just didn’t show up. Or I was zoomed in too far or not far enough, or something. It was weird. In fact, I’m not sure they’re showing up in my game even now: I started the expansion (advertised in the download info as 10 hours), but didn’t bother to look since it does not, so far, involve sailing.

Fine. You didn’t have to do the 20 hours of sailing I put in. Gloat it up. That’s probably where I got all the XP, though. Ha.

But no. Be patient, my friend. There will be barrels of XP when you’re DONE with the Misty Isle. You don’t get rewarded just for showing up, you know. You get rewarded for showing up and then sticking around for a while.

I felt bad about that dwarf who fell to his death when I was about to rescue him. Not guilty bad, because it wasn’t my fault he was clumsy, but sorry bad. He was so pleased to see me! And then he was dead. Sigh.

Butch:

There was a harbor really close to the ice giant place.

You have to be in a boat to see the harbor signs. They don’t show up on the map, or when you’re fast traveling on land, only if you are at the helm of a boat. Sit, then open map, then find anchor.

So now that you’re in, what do you think of the new controls? Four potions you can equip at once, that sort of thing?

I remember a time when completing an objective was worth something. At least 9. I’ll take 9.

Done. Jesus. There’s more. Ciri’s supposed to be HERE dammit!

And it took me a minute to realize that dwarf was the guy. Serious “Wait….what?” moment. I thought I had to reload or something, but no. He just died.

Feminina:

I don’t know why I was looking for harbors if I wasn’t even in a damn boat, but yeah, that’s probably what it was. Siiiiiiiigh. Still, those 1200 sirens at 1 point apiece do add up. I’m pretty sure they threw in a bonus level just because I worked so hard on all that sailing.

New controls…um…I didn’t actually examine the controls. I was just so excited to have new quest markers, I was like “race to the quest marker!!!!!!!”

And then I was talking to people and fighting 32nd level ghouls and stuff. I was actually GOING to equip some potions for that fight after I died the first time, but then I just threw some bombs and ate a lot of raw meat and made it through on the second try, so I didn’t actually get around to changing any of the settings from when I last played. Can you equip more bombs too? That would be handy.

I’ll look at the controls next time.

Butch:

You have to actually have the helm. Even if you’re standing in a boat, they won’t show.

Well, not controls per se, but UI. I mean, besides being able to alter the level of gwent difficulty (which I know you NEED), the big change is now, instead of two potions, hit up for one down for the other, you can equip four that you can then use in combat without going into inventory. Go to your inventory. You have more pockets.

Sadly, no more bombs. I could use that.

Handy though, I tell you. Until you forget which one the up thing actually is doing. You’ll see.

Feminina:

Lining up potions sounds handy–if, as you say, you can remember which one the ‘up’ thing is for. I’ll give it a shot, if I can find enough time to play.

Butch:

Yeah, the potion thing is tricky, especially as so many look the same. I was trying to chug some good ol’ white rafford yesterday and killed two enhanced cats instead, and was totally confused.

Feminina:

Potions DO look the same. And oils. I mean, there are different colors, but do I remember what color the one is for wraiths as opposed to the one for ghouls? No. So I always have to scroll through every one of them. An argument for not making every possible potion, oil and decoction, that is.

Butch:

Oh god, me, too. And it’s always the 10th one I looked at. I only know “relict” as that’s the one I have that isn’t enhanced.

Feminina:

It’s always, always the 10th one you look at. Because they don’t even stay in the same position relative to the borders of the inventory screen, you know? They move around if you add or remove items above them. So you can’t even know for sure that “it’s the one on the bottom left of the screen” and learn what general area to start looking in!

Oh no. That might mean you wouldn’t look at the other 9 oils on the way to the one you want, and we can’t have that.

Butch:

One very valid knock on this game is the inventory interface. I do not like the inventory interface. Not one bit.

In other sad, sad gaming news: Fallout 4 received an M rating. That’s not sad. The sad?

Nudity is not a reason.

Oh, well.

Feminina:

Down with annoying inventory interfaces!

As for FO4’s lack of nudity…I mean, that’s KIND of sad on principle, because Bethesda is pretty good about gender balance, but remember that these are Bethesda characters.

Unless they’ve changed their style a lot, they are not going to be what we would call visually attractive people. Their nudity would probably be more nightmarish than appealing. I’m going to say it’s really all for the best if their M rating is strictly for outrageous gore and crushingly depressing content.

Butch:

Hey man this is some serious next gen shit.

They voiced the main character. Why can’t they be good lookin?

By the way I’m going woman. Tired of gruff dudes and I like the actress.

Feminina:

Because Bethesda doesn’t roll that way. They’ve never had a good-looking voiced character yet, and I bet they aren’t about to start now. It’s probably a point of pride with them by this time.

“We’re justly famous for our vast, sprawling open-world environments, our diverse hordes of randits, and our terrifyingly hideous character models.”

Butch:

I’m telling ya. Voiced protagonist. Jack from mass effect.

Progress.

Feminina:

I’m on record as being dubious.

Anyway, even voiced it’s not as if you can SEE the protagonist (unless they’re abandoning the first-person viewpoint), and all the other characters that you do see have always been voiced and always been hideous.

It’s just as likely that they expended their entire store of “new stuff!!!!” on the protagonist voice (about which, honestly, I have mixed feelings anyway…I’m not across the board gung-ho about this feature in games, although that’s another discussion), and are sticking with the tried and the true and the repellent when it comes to character design.

I’m on record. So are you. Time will tell.

Butch:

If what they’ve shown, it’s first person until you enter dialog, then the camera shifts like Witcher or DA. So you see you in all your emotive motion captured glory. Then back to first person.

Feminina:

I suppose I can see that. Doesn’t mean it can’t be Bethesda’s trademark hideous! I’m shuddering just thinking about it. I have had some ugly characters over the years in Bethesda games.

And only one of them was actually an orc.

Butch:

Unlike the fly hottie you played in DAI? Hmmmm?

Dude. That screen shot you sent me still haunts my nightmares.

Fo4 seems to look like da when you’re talking and fallout when you’re not. I’m ok with that.

Feminina:

Not my fault you can’t handle the awesomeness of an unapologetic qunari. No worries. Few can.

But Bethesda characters look terrifying even when they aren’t orcs or qunari or whatever. Even when they mean to look good. Something about the shadows and textures of the way they do skin, maybe. They sometimes seem fine at a distance, but invariably look creepy in close ups. I want to do all my conversations in Bethesda games by yelling across a room.

“So! Tell me more about that quest you needed me to do! No, don’t come closer, I can understand you fine from here–I’ll just turn on subtitles!”

Butch:

Play without glasses. You already play without headphones. I mean, who needs to see and hear?