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Puncherson_64LadyBrain_64

Minor vague retrospective spoiler about building the thingie in Fallout 4. Also some real-world landscaping ideas and exciting money-making schemes: bonus content while we rev up for the Uncharted series! You’re totally welcome. 

Butch:

Well, I loaded Uncharted 1! It needed a truly monstrous patch, which took forever. Didn’t actually play, but the theme music on the menu screen seems nice.

But hey, baby steps.

You?

Feminina:

Nice work!

I got nothin’. I fell asleep putting the kid to bed and by the time I woke up it was 9:30 and I just went to bed myself. Tonight, though! Although I may not get anything done if there’s a huge patch.

Butch:

Well you’re on the PS3 for this. Probably won’t be a patch. Much simpler graphics you know.

Plus I have the collection so it’s really patching three games. You’ll be fine.

Feminina:

Ah, the mercies of last-gen technology!

For which we pay with terrible, terrible hair.

Butch:

Frankly, I don’t know how you can go back without hurting your eyes.

So the guys I have to do my lawn (what? No time. Wife in grad school, kids, games to play, don’t judge) are here and as a bonus for signing up early they’re edging my beds.

I have two UNUSED edgers.

Home ownership, man.

Feminina:

Two unused edgers. What a time to be alive.

No judgment here: I have guys to do my lawn, too. They’re called the landlord and occasionally his son. Ha.

Butch:

It does look fabulous, gotta say.

And they threshed it. I don’t like threshing.

See what you miss not having a house? Threshing.

I’m tired today. Like, very.

Feminina:

Isn’t threshing, like, harvesting? Are you growing a crop of winter barley now?

I recommend this: we can make beer to sell along with the pear brandy and burlap lingerie. Though I think we did miss the window on burlap lingerie, sadly.

Butch:

Boob physics killed our empire (NEW SENTENCE!).

You mock me with the barley.

No, threshing is when you take a thing (or a rake) and brush out all the dead grass that builds up during the winter to make room for new living green happy grass to grow and get water/nutrients. For a point of reference, the guys just took five big 40 gallon trashcans’ worth of it away from my yard.

Well, and the barley.

Feminina:

Damn it, you let them take the barley?! How we make beer now?

Man, I think we’ll avoid house-buying strictly based on the avoiding-yardwork principle. That sounds super boring.

Or else when we have a yard we’ll just let it be taken over by weeds and be all “xeriscaping, man–we’re saving the planet.” Plus, kids like forests of giant grass. They can tunnel around in it or whatever. Just be sure they watch for badgers and what-not.

Our first apartment had a back yard that no one ever went into or tended in any way, and it become a mighty jungle of weeds. I swear they were taller than I was by the end of the summer. You can get away with that BEHIND a house.

So basically just pave the front yard, rent it out for commuter parking, and let the back go feral…that’s the plan.

Butch:

You gotta maintain the lawn, man. Ticks. Ticks LOOOOOVE the high grass. Lyme disease. Kill ya dead.

I kept the barley! Plus, any day now, the pear tree’ll bloom. We’ll be cashing in soon.

Now that everything is nice and dethatched, it’s time for lime, fertilizer and mulch.

See what you’re missing?

Feminina:

Lime? Mulch? Pfah. Pfah, I say.

There is the tick issue…OK, new plan: pave the front lawn, get a couple of sheep for the back. Then we can make our own burlap from the wool!

Butch:

Oooo! Nice plan! I like this plan!

Except we gotta keep the sheep out of the barley somehow…..

Feminina:

Some basic fences with turret guns should do the trick. Let me just dig out my collection of extinguishers and desk fans and I’ll whip some up.

Butch:

Perfect! They’ll fit right in in our neighborhood…..

Now if we could build a beer bot………

Shit we gotta start a game soon here.

Otherwise we’ll have to publish all of our money schemes in the blog. Then we’ll SO get ripped off.

On turrets, I will always have the regret that I never did build a shotgun turret.

Feminina:

I never did either! I built a few laser turrets, although they were more of a hassle than the standard ones, because they required power.

Siiigh…you know, maybe we should spend another 40 hours on FO4, just to make sure we’re not missing out on anything.

Butch:

Anything with electricity was a humongous pain in the ass. When we HAD to build that relay, I was all “Please be self powered…” if I had had to NOT do that for a while while I found copper and ceramic I would have barfed.

I mean, I got the knack of disco balls, but that was about it. My settlers will forever be damned to be sitting around the unpowered TV in the sports bar, arguing with each other about how to plug it in.

“Why can’t you just read the directions?”

“Cuz Jessica ground them up to make cat pictures and stuff chairs!”

I’m not playing more Fallout 4. Time to move on.

Feminina:

Yeah, I had been looting everything in the world for so long that building that thing was the matter of a couple of clicks for me, but I saw people complaining about how long and horrible it was if you had to go out collecting parts.

Heh…it’s true, I WOULD use all the instruction manuals for everything to make cat pictures.

“Hey, you’ll be way happier looking at this than at the test pattern on the TV. Trust me.”

I built and turned on one TV and was like “hell with this.”

Butch:

It wasn’t just the thing, it was that you needed a shitload of generators. I think I BARELY had enough ceramic, like, within 1, to build them. And cuz I was in that weird outpost zimoja, which didn’t have shit to scrap, I was on my own. I couldn’t do the “I bet THIS house still has a tub” trick I did in Sanctuary, like, all the time.

Where do you see people complaining? Do you EVER work?

Feminina:

Rarely.

(Note to my employer: joking! I work very hard! Practically all the time!)

I don’t know, I see things in forums or whatever. Mostly I was thinking of a passing reference in a discussion about the ending, sort of an “also I hated this other thing” mention.

It did take a ton of power. I had three giant generators going. I had nearly all my settlements linked by supply lines at that point, though, so what one had they all had, and I scrounged a LOT of coffee cups in my time.

Butch:

Forums. You’re an internet troll, aren’t you?

I always forgot about supply lines. Never got the hang of those.

Feminina:

I didn’t get supply lines until pretty late, but then I was like “ah ha, THIS is how this works!” and I just sent people to everywhere. I had so many lazy, unassigned settlers hanging out wishing they had more cat pictures and test-pattern TVs to look at…they might as well do something.

I only look at forums when they’re discussing a question I have. Like the absence of ending credits, or how to make a webform submit properly, or whatever.

Sometimes they’re work-related!

Butch:

Ah, see, you had extra dudes everywhere cuz you were so charming. I HAD to stick with the shroud armor cuz, let’s face it, it made me look GOOD. But didn’t give me the charisma boost. So I never had extra dudes.

Work related. RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT.

Feminina:

I was extremely charming, that’s true. Much good it did me in the end in terms of my plan to bring peace to the wasteland or whatever. But I have plenty of extra settlers! Supply runs everywhere!

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