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Some general plot spoilers for Uncharted 1


I like this “play an hour, get 10% more completion” thing. Tidy.

So what….I killed some dudes, fell off some cliffs, found a submarine, met the GBBG*, found Elena again (told you), killed dudes, crashed a plane (that was a nice little cutscene), hit save.

Him counting to five fast was a nice touch. Rascal.

I like this game. I’m with you. We’re not exactly up to our eyes in themes, but I’m having fun, and it’s nice to remind one’s self from time to time that games can be fun.

I did find my first treasure. I got a bonus. I’m not sure what that is. Like, an art gallery thing? Cuz that find stuff and get art mechanic is also very Assassin’s Raider. Or Assassin’s Raider is a lot like this.

*Gratuitously British Bad Guy


I did kind of like the “U-Boat in the jungle” bit. A nice touch of weirdness.

I have I think 16 treasures right now. I’m sure I’ve missed half of them already, so I’ll never get all 60. They’re always in weird places. I think treasures also give you bonuses to something or other, but…I’d have to switch away from the game proper to check, so…whatever…

The Vita game would pop-up a message telling you exactly what ‘reward’ you’d just gotten, like “+10% to headshots with this type of gun!” and I could still never keep track of them. I figure if it’s something that’s going to help me, it’ll help me whether I know about it or not, and if it’s something I’m never going to use (like “bonus to melee combat against 10 or more guys!”) then it won’t help me whether I know about it or not, so it’s really not that important.

But the mere fact that a ‘reward!’ note pops up gives me a moment of mild satisfaction.


It was a nice touch of weirdness. And suggestive of some supernatural shit that MUST be coming, because there is ALWAYS supernatural shit, and I’ve played Assassin’s Raider before.

Bonuses. Yeah, they really should just tell you what it is. But it’s a gameplay thing? It isn’t just, like, “you can wear a leather jacket now” sort of thing? Cuz I don’t want that. If there’s a practical reward, I’ll want to get them. I can safely ignore them if it’s just collectible fragments/GPS caches.


I haven’t seen anything supernatural yet, but we can keep hoping. Drake’s in-game explanation of “it must have washed up here during a flood” seems implausible, but also the kind of thing they could fall back on if it turns out there’s nothing weird going on.

“Hey, we TOLD you there was a perfectly logical implausible explanation. It was just the old prospector, draped in a sheet!” or whatever it always turns out to be in Scooby Doo. (Invariably a disappointment. As a child, I ALWAYS wanted it to be a real ghost. MAKE THE GHOST REAL, storytellers! Kids eat that supernatural stuff right up!)

I think the rewards are gameplay related, so I guess we kind of want them. I don’t remember any of the Vita ones involving jackets or anything.

This is a simple game–they’re not going to mess with animating a bunch of different clothing options. They’re too busy writing implausible explanations involving old prospectors in sheets. Mark my words, one will be waiting at Drake’s Tomb in the end.


Nah, there’ll be weird. I promise there’ll be weird. The ol’ boat in the jungle is always a sign of weird. I watched LOST. The Black Rock? Surest sign of weird.

Gameplay rewards. Crap. Crap crap crap. Now we’re even for me telling you about the squires.

That would be kinda awesome if it was an old prospector.

Also today, it’s past time we pondered the rumor that there’ll be a PS4.5 (called the Neo) that’ll release by the end of the year. This’ll boast faster, better hardware and may become the gold standard sooner rather than later. Ponder: Do we ask for one for Xmas? (Or do I? Cuz Mr. O will buy one no matter what).

They SAY that all PS games going forward will still play on the 4, and that you won’t NEED a neo to play anything, just to play it, you know, without stutter and with great hair.



Whatever, man. It’s a simple game. Even if we theoretically WANT the rewards, do we NEED them? Unlikely. Ignore them and carry on and I bet you make it to the end just fine.

Oh, great. The old “you don’t NEED this new upgrade, unless you care about the quality of your visuals at all. And unless you’re attached to games that actually, you know, play smoothly. And unless you want to play the new games that only run on Neo that PROBABLY won’t exist but totally will in a year or so. You know. It’s OPTIONAL. If one of your acceptable options is to be a TOTAL LOSER.”

Damn you, Sony. I’ll pre-order now.


Yeah who are we kidding? Whether we need it or not, we’re so getting launch models.


We’re pawns in the system, is what we are.