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Some fairly significant plot spoilers for Uncharted 1


I just keep going back to this game. I guess the fact that I keep doing this instead of watching baseball or drinking speaks well for it. I mean, you don’t watch baseball and you’re off drinking, so I have to be that particular data point, don’t I?

FINALLY got to the keys (which was becoming a reaper moment. I think when I did all the hard stuff then died on the easy jump, which always happens, I almost gave up), got in the tomb (how come Drake was all “Why don’t you just go through the catacombs, it’s easier?” Why didn’t HE go through the catacombs?), did the easy puzzle, then did the whole “treasure room” bit, found dead Francis Drake (how DID he keep that beard?) and called it a day.

That treasure room, man. Even though it was, at times, a little frustrating (I have a hard time seeing chains to climb, I blame myself), the level design. That was….I mean…..that was one level. One area. They had to have ALL of that built. Every nook and cranny, every dead end, every ledge, every red herring, every trick. And DUDE did they nail it. I mean, mood, difficulty of action, variety of the challenges, that was a masterpiece of level design. And hard enough to be JUST frustrating enough to keep me playing AND feel a tremendous sense of accomplishment on finishing.


But you must be almost done, cuz now I’m at 84% complete, which is almost done, and I haven’t gotten “all weird” yet. I saw something in the distance, but that’s it. So if I’m 84% and you’re ahead, you’re either done or damn close.


I barely played yesterday (O’Jr., being all sickly, took FOREVER to get to sleep–though he seems better today), so I think I’m only about 2% further along than you right now. Basically right past the Drake bit things are going to get weird.

Oh man, I ALWAYS get through everything and then die on an easy jump. I kept getting past the flaming lanterns and then dying on the jump across to that ledge. Bah. But yeah, that was a cool room. And all the Roman numeral tiles I thought were kind of a cool touch. Not really necessary, because we were going to work our way around to the correct route eventually, and it’s not as if we’re not going to explore every ‘wrong’ path along the way just to make sure there’s no treasure there, but a nice nod to the idea that someone might come in all businesslike and just want to get through the damn maze instead of poking into every corner.

I thought finding Drake’s body (implausibly well-preserved beard and all) was also kind of a nice moment. I really kind of felt for Nate there…his disappointment was nicely done. “You mean…he didn’t even find the treasure after all?” Like, HE felt really bad for Francis Drake in that moment, and I felt bad for him feeling bad…

Anyway, I think we must both be pretty close to the end. Although my sister is coming today, going to be here for the baby and all, so I’m not sure how much I’ll play in the next several days. But I’ll definitely try to finish it before what’s-his-name shows up and puts a crimp in my well-ordered playing schedule.


Ok, that makes sense. A key 2%. I suppose that real Drake wasn’t just going to die anywhere, was he? That’s probably going to happen close to something important (that is, weird). Maybe it’ll explain the beard.

I followed the numerals, I did. And, what’s worse, I saw the glinty glint of a treasures on other platforms and ignored them. Just stayed on the path. I thought that NOT following the numerals would lead to certain death. I didn’t explore. You’re probably nineteen treasures ahead of me. No trophy for me.

You know, there’s a trophy: Do that whole level in….wait for it….seven minutes. SEVEN.

I did not get that particular trophy. Nor did I get the one for doing the upstream jetski bit in five. Or the one for the fortress in, like, eight, or something.

I had the easy jump syndrome in the church ceiling bit. I would do all the hardassed long jumps to chandeliers, then there was this really, really short jump from one ledge to another right before the key that I just got mental and couldn’t do, like a golfer who keeps missing two foot putts. And that bit was SO awful cuz there was no save point. Miss the next to last jump? Do it ALL again.

Glad. That’s. Over.

Finding Drake’s body was a great moment. He felt bad, and he was reflecting on his own self. I mean, he obviously takes being a DRAKE seriously, and wants to emulate Sir Francis. He sees Francis as this great treasure hunter, a man who elaborately faked his own death, braved puzzles, got the treasure. He thinks Francis is so fucking COOL and he wants to be the same way. Brave, tricky, smart, and successful. And when he confronts the fact that his ancestor and his hero, someone he was modelling himself after, failed, well, that was a good moment.

And a rare one in games. We don’t usually see PCs have moments of self doubt, like, real “I have wasted my life” self doubt. Sure, Geralt had a couple (indeed, one of the reasons the guilt demon was so damn good is that we rarely see doubt and guilt), but many of those were based on game choices, not “Oh my god, the very thing on which I based my life was a mistake….”

You mean I might…..can’t even…..finish a game……before you? I……this has never happened…..

End of days.


I’m going to imagine that the weirdness is responsible for the well-preserved beard. In some way.

You followed the numbers? Man, I went everywhere in that place. I went to that other ledge to get that glinting treasure! I couldn’t pass it by. I think I have about 30 now. But now I do not have a trophy for completing the level in a timely fashion.

AC2, I think it was, would give you these challenges right up front: “complete this in 7 minutes” or whatever, so I would reload over and over, racing through, until I did it.

Must. Conquer. Challenge.

But some trophy I don’t even know about because I don’t look at trophy lists? Not as big a motivator. Clearly they mean you to be able to do that if you want–there’s that “reload last checkpoint” option–so people who care can practice over and over until they can zoom right through (as I used to do in AC!)–but that’s not going to be me at this point.

I just want to play the game, and find sparkly treasure because it sparkles. If I accumulate a few trophies along the way for killing people with grenades or something, I’ll take them, but they’re not what motivates me.

Yeah, the Drake bit was nice. And him leaving that ring there…a gesture of respect for his legendary ancestor, but also kind of a letting go of the myth for himself. Sir Francis, his hero, was, after all, just a guy who eventually failed and ended up dead in a lost cavern. When Nathan Drake goes on, he goes on less for the memory of Francis Drake, and more because that’s just a job he does. He’s not upholding the traditions of his noble family, he’s just looking for loot because loot pays the bills.

Go on. Finish the game before me. Probably nothing terrible will happen.



Beard weirdness!

Hey, by the way, is the quote that made you reconsider Eddie before the dead Drake? Cuz here’s the thing: He comes in there, and is all “Last person alive gets the gold, right man?” and there was fighty bits, but at the END of the fighty bits, I just took off. I was low on ammo, the tower was over there, and I just ran, man. Was there a cutscene there? Was I supposed to kill that dude? Cuz I just took off, got to the tower, Drake scene, chapter 17.

Dude, I have such problems with spatial shit I would have gotten lost for all time had I gine exploring in that level. I was scared enough when I got lost once, hit “restart checkpoint” and I wasn’t at the beginning. I had this image of forever restarting checkpoints that were more and more hopeless.

Oh, me neither–not motivated by trophies. You’re the one with platinums. I find them interesting because they give you insight as to what other people do, what’s possible, what the devs think.

One is “Find the strange Relic.” 17% of people have it, and 30 something have finished the game, so it’s missable. Wonder what it is.

Starting to see the quality of the writing. I am. Maybe not in the originality of the story itself, but around the fringes. Gives me hope for game 2.

Oh I will finish it. Wasn’t asking for permission. Was just telling you to get your affairs in order, what with the world about to end and all.


No, no, don’t kill Eddie, man. He’ll turn up again when the time is right. Probably in about 10 minutes of game time. There will be shouting and weirdness.

I think it was chapter 16 or 17.

I really only played a significant role in one of the platinums, and that was Skyrim, and I really only did it because we were so close (mostly thanks to Nate) that if I went after one more trophy, we would do it.

For the most part, I can’t really be bothered with trophies. FO4’s platinum is entirely Mr. O. Except for the hacking, but he would have done that one too if I hadn’t.

“Strange relic”…we probably already missed it. I mean, at 80+ percent done, odds are it was way back there somewhere and we didn’t even notice.


17 it is. 17 starts right after the Drake bit. Cuz that’s where I am.

Do not sell yourself short on the trophies! That was a 50 terminal one! 50! It wasn’t some weird one off, like explore photo mode.

Yeah, we must have missed the strange relic. Missible usually means I missed it.



OK, then yeah, 17, because I just got to 18 yesterday. We’ve pinned it down!

A lot of things are easy to miss in this game. I mean, I’ve only found half the treasures and we’re almost done with the game. I’m reasonably thorough about searching around, but clearly a more obsessive level of thoroughness is required. Which is fine…someone will really enjoy that. Me, I just have too many other Uncharted games to play.

If this was the only game I had, I’d be way more dedicated about wringing every possible achievement out of it.


Not me, dude. I’m totally not into collectibles. Silly, silly collectibles.

But yeah, I have no idea where the ones were that I missed. I, too, peek into corners and around trees. They must be up or something. On ledges we haven’t seen.

No thanks.

I’ve come to terms with never platting a game ever. I never will. Ever.


Yeah…on top of things. I haven’t been as dedicated about trying to climb everything in sight as I could be. Most things you can’t climb, so I tend to only try it when it’s obviously a climbing bit, but probably some of the things in non-climbing bits COULD be climbed, and would then have treasures on top.

Oh well.


Hell, with chains I can’t even find the thing I’m supposed to climb!

Last night, I was looking right at a chain when “Hint” came on, and I hit hint, and the screen moved so little I thought it was a glitch, when it was the game saying “It’s three steps in front of you and you are looking right at it, moron.”

So no, I ain’t climbing for silly collectibles.


The chains do tend to blend into the walls. Vines are nice and colorful, but rusty brown chains on drab stone? A little less obvious.


Ah, you’re just trying to make me feel better.

The hints mocked me.

I might kill this game tonight. Mrs. McP has this paper due, which is propelling things along. When she stays at work until 8, you know.


What else is one to do but play games, when the spouse is away until 8:00? Meanwhile, I will resentfully spend time interacting on a human level with my beloved sister who’s coming all the way from the southwest to keep me company during the miracle of birth.

Damn it, I’m wasting my life here.


If my brother was home, I would spend time with him. I would.

But that’s mostly because, were he here, my dad would bring over fantastic whiskey.

I kid, I kid. Sorta.


No one is even going to bring whiskey! Which I would obviously take to the hospital and swig directly after the birth.

“Cord cut? All right, gimme the booze.”


And why not? Why not, indeed.

Indeed, were she a good sister, she’d leave the hospital to get you wine.

I will try not to spoil.

Watch, the kid will wind up named Pinot Noir.


Pinot Noir is a perfectly good name! Zinfandel also has a nice ring to it…though a bit ‘elfish’ perhaps.


My parents’ cat is named Zinfandel. For real. They call it “Zinny.”

So it’s taken.


Damn it!

Fine…Shiraz. Although that sounds more like a girl’s name to me.

Grigio has a nice ring to it…


You know, whatever you DO end up naming him, he will always be Grigio to me.