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Butch:

I’m sitting in a parking lot during fencing so I’m missing Ubisoft. No biggie. There’ll probably be games involving annoying heroes, climbing tall things and collectibles. But no soccer, so that’s something.

I don’t suppose you’d be willing to peek at Ubi for me?

Feminina:

Um…Ubisoft was talking about Underground. “Running around Manhattan in tri-focal goggles”…expansions involving brutal weather…

Butch:

What?

Underground? How can we climb tall things underground? What is this madness?

Feminina:

Internet says Underground is an expansion for The Division. ??? Apparently a Tom Clancy game. ???

Whatevs, man.

Ooh, demo of something with VR goggles, and a battle in the skies over Paris. Same game? I’m not sure. Fussing baby makes me a poor reporter.

Don’t think so, it looks more like eagles. OK, Eagle Flight VR. A sort of Quidditch-like sport game where you’re on a team trying to score against another team by catching ‘rabbits’. Capture-the-flag, sort of? With VR?

Is everything VR? Now it’s a Star Trek VR game.

They’ve got a bunch of Star Trek actors playing it and talking about it, which is fun, but…VR. Not getting that this year.

Butch:

Ah, the celebrity playing it thing. So effective.

I, on behalf of epileptics everywhere, sincerely hope we don’t go to an all VR world. That would suck. We’d have to blog about arts and crafts or something. Pie, maybe.

Yes, the Division is a shooty shooty thing. People like it. We don’t.

Feminina:

For Honor trailer/demo…not VR. Clash of cultures kind of thing, Vikings/Samurai/European knights fighting…dark but of course beautiful graphics.

Apollyon (sp?) is some sort of villain trying to end all hope of peace in the world…and a female character, which as we know is a stretch for animators. Nice branching out, Ubisoft!

Not clear if you play her, or take orders from her, or what. She has a lot of voiceovers, though.

Butch:

Is the female character in For Honor? I thought that was Multiplayer only. I remember For Honor from last year. Didn’t thrill me.

Dude you didn’t mention Just Dance? DUDE!

Feminina:

Yeah, the female voiceover was For Honor, which could easily be multi only…I missed part of the trailer. She seems like maybe a director element rather than a playable character?

Even the presenters can’t agree on whether it’s “oo-bisoft” or “yu-bisoft”. (Though more of them seem to favor “yubi”).

Now they’ve got a world-exploration game with a cute robot. Grow Up. Good for kids?

Now Trials and Blood Dragon ‘make baby together.’ Trials of the Blood Dragon. Good for kids?

I didn’t see Just Dance! I missed out!

Now they’re doing AC. Massively multiplayer AC! Um.

Butch:

Didn’t we already have an exploration game with a cute robot called Grow Home?

Fuck, Ubi. You steal everything!

And the AC movie. I’m back live.

Nicely done, Femmy. Nicely done.

Gonna stay up for Sony tonight?

Feminina:

Grow Up is the sequel to Grow Home!

OK, glad you’re back. You watch about AC. This is hard. I salute you.

And no, unless Grigio refuses to sleep, I will not be up for Sony. You can summarize the news for us.

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