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Puncherson_64LadyBrain_64

Minor spoilers for monastery location in Uncharted 2

Butch:

So played! And, really, FUCK this monastery. This is just a lot of fighting. And unforgiving save points. I did that FIRST bit at the bridge there about 27 times. Now I’m at the OTHER bridge (with the snipers), which I’ve done a bunch of times. The last time, which led to much frustration and me throwing the controller and stopping, I killed the rocket guy. I killed the snipers. I stood up. No one seemed to notice me. I went back down to Elena, who was just standing there. I started walking on a beam. I got halfway across the beam. I died. I have no idea why I died. None. Zero. And the last save point? Before I killed the snipers.

I like this game. I do. But there are some bits with just too much fighty. I mean, dudes. We get it. I’ve killed a rocket dude. I’ve killed a riot shield dude. I’ve done a bridge. I’ve killed MANY snipers (though it did take me a bit to realize I had to sneak by them at first. I wasted a lot of pistol bullets, there). I mean, I played a good hour and a half, died a lot, and only made 6%. That’s it. I’m still under 80. It slows down the momentum of the story.

One thing I do like is that the NPCs give you the hints. I could figure out to climb the pillar there, and Elena is all “You could…you know…climb that pillar,” and Nathan said “I could have figured that out you know,” and Elena said “Riiiiiiight.”

You cut me deep, hottie.

Feminina:

The fighty bits can get frustrating when you have to start way back of where you died, it’s true. “Oh, damn it, I have to kill all these guys AGAIN?”

I do like an NPC who gives a hint. Many’s the time in a game I’ve been wandering around like a dummy trying to figure out what to do next and the NPCs are just standing there humming to themselves and mentally writing shopping lists and occasionally sighing impatiently and I’m like “hey, if you have any helpful suggestions, FEEL FREE to chime in.”

My mom has gone home and I’m all alone with the baby. He’s been asleep for an hour and a half already while I did some laundry and what not, so I think he’s going to wake up soon, but next nap I am totally loading up this game.

Butch:

Yeah. That was pretty much my whole session last night. 6% and a whole lot of “Again?!!?!?!” I probably played the equivalent of 28%, but it was the same 6% over and over.

As for unhelpful NPCs, that’s, sadly, every bioware game. I mean, love ’em, I do, but when you’re out chillin’ with a space marine, an alien powerbroker who knows everyone, and a genius scientist, you’d think, between all of you, you’d find that ledge. But no. No, no, no.

And then Elena chides both Nathan AND you. Thanks.

So you will play, thus making my pathetic slowness official. Watching you finish this game before me has been like watching Trump’s march to the nomination. Not clinched, but so very tragically inevitable.

I really thought I would get, at least, respectably close last night. But no. Always with the dying. It was fitting that session ended with me having no idea why I died.

Why DID I die? What the hell more do I have to do before walking across that damn beam?

Feminina:

I don’t really remember the beam…that IS extremely annoying. At least tell me why I’m dead!

One last hidden enemy around a corner?

Butch:

Must be. Cuz when I got back down to Elena, there was a dragon sniper propped there. Where there is a dragon sniper, there’s a dude with a laser thingy. Every time.

My fault, really. It’s the mechanic this game has to use, the whole, “Here’s a gun, so there must be baddies” because it doesn’t have healing. Usually it’s “Here’s a whole bunch of healing you’re gonna need in a few minutes.” Seriously. I’m stunned we players-o-games aren’t afraid to go down the band aid aisle at CVS.

“First aid? Fuck that. I’ll walk through the antacids.”

Feminina:

OK, he slept just long enough for me too finish the final fight, final escape, etc. and see the credits start. Not long enough to start 3.

I ALWAYS walk through the antacids. Or better yet, the candy. You can’t be too careful.

Butch:

“Not long enough to start 3,” huh?

What. A. Shame.

You had a baby….you beat me. I question my life choices.

Aren’t babies supposed to scream uncontrollably for hours on end? Shit, my six year old screams for hours on end. I had to physically push him onto the bus this morning. He was screaming, fighting, etc.

Then, I see his teacher as I picked him up. I say, “How was he today?” She says “Great!” I say “No tantrums?” She says “No, why?”

Life. Is. Unfair.

Feminina:

Life is definitely unfair. But if it helps, I’m sure the uncontrollable screaming is right around the corner. You can’t say anything about newborns other than that whatever they’re doing won’t last more than a few weeks. Unless it’s not sleeping through the night, in which case it will last until they’re teenagers. Probably.

Butch:

Hey! Played more! But only got to Schaffer’s death there (83%) cuz dying. I hate dudes with RPGs! And REALLY hate dudes with riot shields! Explain to me how Drake can get shot ten times, even take shrapnel from a grenade and heal in 15 seconds, but dies if he gets so much as a love tap from a riot shield.

Oh well. Much shooty. Does the shooty continue for the rest of it?

And remember the “Why’d I die?” thing? I’ll never know, cuz the first time I did it today, the same way as last night, boom. No problem.

Mysteries.

Feminina:

It’s not all shooty, but there is a lot of it. Also some climbing and jumping. Ya know.

At least the mystery will not continue to haunt you. Whatever it was.

Probably a yeti with a riot shield.

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