Tags

, , , , ,

Puncherson_64LadyBrain_64

Minimal spoilers for Uncharted 3, later descending into politically-tinged mockery of cover art

Butch:

So I got on the plane. Nice level. There’s a trophy for finishing it in 6 minutes. I did not get that trophy.

That fight was hard. Really. Two shotgun armor dudes at once? Not fair. I hope they don’t figure out that that’s really the best way to fight Drake. Liked all the truck trailers and stuff, though.

And really, when Drake’s all “Let’s be as quiet as we can” I want to say “Who ARE you kidding? We’ll kill one, maybe two dudes then get seen.”

But the best bit was running after the plane. Not the run across the rooftops, but when you’re actually behind it. It’s getting farther and farther away. Admit it: you, too, were slamming the stick forward about as hard as you could. And what was GREAT? Sound. The music totally cut out. All there was was Nate’s breathing. And you put that with the fact that you, the player, had just fought and fought and were tired and amped up yourself. Here you were, with Drake, trying, tired, watching it go, saying “C’mon…”

Good Naughty Dog stuff.

Feminina:

Yeah, that was pretty good. Also a nice tiny plot twist that Elena agreeing to stay was the only reason Drake got on the plane. Not a surprising twist, really, but an example of the writers actually tying things together in the narrative. They probably felt bad about the complete non sequitur of the ship levels.

I played some last night as well. There’s a point we must comment on in due time, that is a kind of fun turnabout from the usual way things go in these games.

Can we also briefly mention that the cover shot on 4 is an interesting take on the very standard Man With Gun cover pose, in the usually the Man With Gun is looking all tough and threatening and pointing said gun at something, while here Drake seems glum and tired and is just sort of holding the gun wearily. A nice image for the end of a series…suggests that he’s just so over all that stuff.

Butch:

Do you really think she was agreeing to stay? Or do you think (as I do) that she was all “Dude, he’s SO going to need me on that jeep, I better just get in the jeep….” I think it was, once again, Elena being a step ahead of Drake. And smarter.

I look forward to discussing this mysterious point. But I’ll never get there, as I haven’t played since our last installment. So here I sit, on a plane, at 76% of the last game you played.

I’m trying, Femmy. I’m trying. Perhaps tonight. Or even today, as kids have camp! Hooray, camp!

Lemme check the cover: Hey, yeah. Nice. He’s also bleeding and stuff. That and the usually very colorful jungle…isn’t. And, he doesn’t look like he has his ring, like it’s been ripped off.

Do you have the boxes for the first three? Cuz I have the collection, which has a far more traditional pose.

Feminina:

It’s true, Elena could have planned the Jeep-assist all along. She is plenty smart.

Hooray, camp! I hope you’re playing right now.

Uncharted 1 was a fairly standard Man With Gun in dramatic action pose, leaping over a ledge or something.

2 had Drake hanging off something looking determined…dropping the gun, actually, which was apparently falling to earth without him. Highlighting the non-shooty action of the piece, perhaps.

3 is back to a fairly standard pose: him gazing into the distance, holding a very LARGE gun (though not aiming it at anything) with a desert backdrop.

We should do more critical review of cover art! Although it sometimes has little to do with the actual game.

Butch:

She is smart. And I can see her thinking “Yeah….right. All by yourself. Sigh. Better get in that jeep.”

Well, no, not playing now because a) only two thirds of my kids are at camp and b) I gotta get caught up on all the chores and shit I didn’t do when I was sick. So no. Sadly. But that’s kinda ok cuz the neighbors are having tree work done and I can’t hear myself think, so I’d miss half the dialog.

Those covers…Hmm. The collection cover I have is rather abstract. It has a sandy colored background, with a silhouette of Drake done in a map. He is holding an unaimed, large gun, but what stands out is the ring. The ring is central, man, right above the H and the A.

We need cover art, let’s see…Uh…Dude. Angry dude. Another angry dude, oh THAT dude is ANGRY.

Feminina:

Ahh…all three kids at camp, that’s the dream.

But missing dialogue would suck. I mean, not for me, you know I barely listen to anything so I’d play in the middle of a hurricane, but for you…ha. Mostly ha.

The ring, eh? Yeah, I can see how they might highlight that in a collection that included all three. It’s visible on the 3 cover, but just as a thing he’s wearing, not really a focal point. I can’t even see it in 1 or 2.

But then, 3 is where it really came up as a plot point that ties the series together.

We have 1 and 2 as a collection–pardon me, a ‘dual pack,’ I suppose two items is too few to really be a ‘collection’–but the cover of the case just shows mini versions of the two individual covers.

Although…I was basing my descriptions on the original covers, which I found online, because I didn’t want to disturb the baby on my lap, but now that I look at the covers on our actual shelf, I see they’re the Game of the Year Editions, which feature slightly different covers.

Similar, but 1 shows a stern and manly pose where Drake is staring into the distance and holding TWO guns (one large, one small). He doesn’t look angry, which is curious, but he’s got the gun thing covered.

On 2 he’s hanging from a rope and is not only aiming but actually firing his gun off to the side, while looking–you got it–angry.

Interesting adjustments from the first covers…1 is less action but more guns, while 2 is about the same action but way more gun (in the sense that he’s not only still holding the gun, and actively firing it).

“Hmm…these covers are good, but let’s add more gun.”

Butch:

Add more gun! Add more angry! MOOOORE!

Cuz we old white dudes just love guns and anger.

Feminina:

Isn’t guns and anger really what it’s all about? Vote Trump!

Butch:

I’d say ‘T SHIRT’ but it’s probably too similar to real T shirts to be funny.

Feminina:

It’s true, that’s too close to reality to be funny. Terrifying, yes. Although I don’t know that Trump has actually said all that much about guns…too busy working the anger angle. Guns are IMPLIED, though, because they just go so damn well with angry white men!

Butch:

Sure he did! He said that the Orlando shooting would have been stopped if everyone there was armed, a position so thoroughly batshit that even the NRA said “Um…even we think weapons in a dark club where everyone is drinking might not be the best idea….”

The NRA.

Or maybe they just don’t like the idea of armed gays.

But anyway, we gamers KNOW guns go with angry white men! We learned it from cover art!

Feminina:

Oh right, THAT comment. How could I forget?

I’ll tell you how: by willfully repressing it.

The NRA not including gay people (especially non-white ones) in the category of “people who should always be carrying a lot of guns” is also too plausible to be amusing. We’re on a bad run today.

Butch:

To the NRA’s credit (not sure I’d ever thought I’d type that) they also did clarify that drinking and guns don’t mix. They DID say that it should be ok to TAKE guns into bars, so long as you don’t drink. Like a designated shooter dude! Please kill responsibly.

It’s also well known that drinking hurts one’s ability to jump, shimmy and take cover. All part of the angry dude thing.

Feminina:

Man, I hate having to be the designated shooter…everyone’s having fun, getting drunk, and I’m over here nursing a Shirley Temple and polishing my gun…I can do that at home, you know? (And I obviously do! Plus, that’s where all my gun polish is.)

Butch:

It totally fucks up the Saturday night. But, on the good side, if you’re the sober shooter, one of the drinkers does the driving. Only fair.

Feminina:

Yeah, man! I shot like five people–Bob can drive. Even if he has had 10 beers.

Butch:

You don’t expect two people not to drink, do you?

Advertisements