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No spoilers, much possibly drunken rambling in the aftermath of a tragic break-up


Well, it’s over between me and Pokemon Go.

It just kept demanding more and more space! The latest update was the final straw. It won’t fit on my phone, and I have nothing else to delete. I tried to make it work! I’ve deleted everything I could, reset everything I couldn’t to factory settings…basically, it’s demanding that I buy a new phone.

And because I’m too cheap to do that, it’s over.

Hey, we had some fun times. Taking over that gym was exciting. Hatching all those eggs, visiting all those pokestops, evolving those zubats into golbats…I’ll always cherish those memories.

But in the end, we just wanted different things from life. Specifically, it wanted a new phone, and I wanted the money a new phone would cost.

Fare you well, little app. Perhaps one day we’ll meet again.


It’s for the best really. It was doomed to failure from the start. And did you really want to get to the point where it was asking for all your money demanding all of your time, always asking for update after update after update? I’ve been there man. It was called PC gaming. Really, our exes all wanted the same things. And look on the bright side, you got out before you hit rock bottom! You can move on now! You’re no longer beholden to all that new tech!

Until the PS pro comes out.

Oh, and I am typing this by talking to my fancy ass new phone.

Just saying.


You’re right. It’s for the best. All the nights we would surely have spent arguing about yet another fancy update on yet another, fancier phone…it promising me that this is the last time, me broke and desperate but trying to hold it together for the sake of the eggs…

Far better that we part now, as friends.


You’re stronger than I was. 30 years I was stuck in an endless spiral of money and updates with the ex. 30 years! But that temptation, the slightly better thing always right around the corner, that evil sirens song…

You beat it. Took me thirty years.

In other news, now I’m getting ads for new tvs to go with the ps pro….


We’re idly talking about a new TV, because Mr. O’ has had a Sony credit card for years, and has about 8 million points saved up. Not literally 8 million, probably, but enough for a big TV.

And now, tragically, the remote for our current TV is broken, so we have to stand up to turn it on, like pathetic low-tech slobs, which is clearly ample reason to replace the TV and get a new remote to go with it, rather than simply getting a new remote.

I mean, that’s logic, right?

I’ll think I’ll always have residual friendly feelings for monsters with silly names, though.


You have residual friendly feelings for everybody. I’m sure you’d probably be all oh yeah I remember when Joseph Stalin and I used to hang out fight some Kobolds. I mean sure he’s an asshole now and all but those were good times. Good times.

Do not, under any circumstances, buy a new television without consulting with your tech friend, me. Considering you never buy anything, like, ever, this is a big deal. You’ll be living with this for at least 50 years. Don’t blow it.

I’ve lost the remote to my TV. Buying a new one is so much easier than looking under the couch, right?



Oh yeah, those were good times with old Joe! Before he got so into real-life mass murder, we used to have lots of fun with pretend mass murder around the gaming table!

Wait, that turns into a defense of the idea that violent games make people violent.

Actually, we just used to hang out and drink and doodle on bar napkins and talk about the glorious Utopian future. Not my fault he took my comments about “just needing to somehow get all the people who disagree with us to stop arguing” so seriously.


You see, this is the problem that you tend to have with people. You always want everybody to get along, see the good sides of people, that sort of thing. So you keep inviting them over, keep trying to be a politic, and that sort of thing, and eventually leads to mass genocide. Far better to just say “hey, I don’t like you. Go away.”

That and it leaves more booze for the rest of us.


That is true about the booze.

Although sometimes people bring dessert to your parties, and I am easily swayed by promises of dessert.

That’s the reason I let old Joe’s mass murdering tendencies slide for so long, really. He’d always bring dessert. I kept thinking “I should really call him on this Siberian gulag thing…but his Tula gingerbread is second to none!”


But I’ll bring pie, rendering everyone else’s unnecessary.

Homemade apple pie.

With bourbon soaked raisins.


Well then, hell with them all.

Especially because sometimes all they bring is salad, which is good and all with me being a vegetarian, but has nothing on bourbon-soaked raisins.

Just hand me the pie as soon as we get there, and I’ll be happy.


You know what else is vegetarian? Pie.


Oh, I know. Fully half my vegetarianism is based on a desire to avoid filling up on dinner so I have more room for pie. This is where I eventually parted ways with old Joe. He started bringing sausages to the meetings instead of gingerbread. We drifted apart after that.


Understandable, really. And vodka is just empty calories.

Man, talking into the phone is cool! I mean, the blog is called conversations! And here we are conversing!

Or we would be if your phone didn’t suck.


My phone does suck a lot. Maybe I do need to get a new one! Then Pokemon Go would take me back and I could blog about it by talking!

Which does sound pretty cool. I guess I could also talk about the Witcher expansion, which I did actually play briefly last night.



Oh, shit. Now I’ve opened the door. Don’t! Don’t do it! Don’t go back!

Bad enough I got you into it in the first place. Stay away, for me.

I got to play at least one of those expansions.


Too late! I’m already shopping online! It’s all your fault I’m caught in this endless cycle of upgrades!!!!

Ha, just kidding. I’ll probably keep this phone until it’s so old it no longer connects to the internet, because THAT is the unforgivable crime. (I admit I can’t go back to a non-smartphone, though. I was won over by that technology.)

SO MANY VAMPIRES. This one is interesting, but I’m still going with the first as my favorite. If you ever have time.


Depends on how long rise of the tomb raider is. I figured that might take me to Thanksgiving. Then who knows? Mass effect and horizon aren’t until February.


True, February is a long time from now. And the first Tomb Raider wasn’t THAT long.

Although just wait, before we know it it’s going to be January and we’ll be saying “wait, we haven’t had time to finish…” whatever. This always happens.


It does. Me and my plans.

But I did average about seven weeks per uncharted. So maybe….

But it comes with story dlc. We’re doomed.


Story DLC! Doomed. We can’t resist story.

On the other hand, there probably won’t be any hot sorceresses, so your screencapping time will be less.


You kidding?

Lara’s as close to morrigan as it gets and she’s always on screen! If there’s photo mode I may never finish!


Sorry…I thought your penchant for sorceresses meant ‘sorceress’ literally. As in, magic-user.

My bad. You’re doomed.


Well, it does, it’s true, but, uh…..

If she can do all that, she must be doing some sort of magic! Right? Right.



I can’t argue with that.

Of course that means Drake is a sorcerer, but I couldn’t really argue with that either. There’s definitely some sort of witchcraft involved in being able to survive that many life-threatening situations.