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Puncherson_64LadyBrain_64

Extremely minor spoilers for the Witcher 3 expansion Blood and Wine

Butch:

I have created a monster. Now that I looked at TVs, all the ads on my internet are from best buy and newegg and amazon all pushing tech….beautiful, BEAUTIFUL tech…..

It’s like my ex keeps calling me, begging me to take her back…..

Help.

Feminina:

The siren song of tech must be resisted! Plug your ears with wax! Or, in this case, I suppose you have to seal your eyelids with wax. Probably painful, but it’ll keep your ex’s wiles from luring you into something you’ll regret later.

Like spending all your booze money on some fancy souped-up machine that’s going to be whining for upgrades a few months from now. The lost booze money is the real tragedy.

I played a bit. The main story, which apparently is not EVEN almost over, became more interesting once I actually started following it (funny how that happens). Right now I’m trapped in a book of fairy tales.

I’m not sure if there might not be a hint of romance developing?…although if so, it could be dangerous, since this woman is also the (somewhat estranged) love interest of a powerful vampire.

And there’s a whole other twist on this expansion’s rather dim view of romance: love that can be used against someone. Your happy Geralt, all full of warm fresh-baked cakes, wouldn’t know what to do with this.

Butch:

Well, right now, as I look to the right of where I am typing this, it’s Amazon wanting me to preorder the Pro. Eligible for prime shipping, it is helpfully telling me. And my credit card benefit for the next three months is 5% cash back at best buy. The world wants me to get tech, dammit!

Can I spend the booze money on a machine (well, two if you count the TV) that should be good for, like, three years? My PS4 is three, my TV is four….that’s about right….right?

Really, trapped in fairy tales? That’s pretty cool.

But no, my Geralt would not know what to do. He would not.

I refuse to accept this is an expansion. I think, somehow, I missed the news that Witcher 4 had been released, and you’re playing it. You’re STILL not done? Dude. Nope. This is an honest to God full game. Seriously.

How on EARTH can they afford to sell this for 20 bucks?

Feminina:

To my right is an ad for Kraft mac and cheese. I have never bought Kraft mac and cheese in my life! Outlook doesn’t know me at all. I’m a little wounded. Ads for large TVs and the PS Pro would at least show it was paying attention.

Am I not worth spying on?

Oh, and now it’s Amazon pushing Citizen Women’s watches (I wear a $30 unisex Casio from CVS) and Dansko shoes. I’ll give it the Danskos, I do own a couple of pairs of those. But sheesh, even Amazon isn’t paying attention!

I think you’ve saved enough booze money over the past few years to justify this. After all, you can only drink so much and still be able to play games at all. This is the balance we strive for.

This expansion is really freaking long. I thought for sure it was winding up, so I went and completed every side quest, but now it looks as if it’s got some road ahead after all. Although, being trapped inside a book of fairy tales, I can’t exactly follow up on those side quests from here, so perhaps I made the right call.

Butch:

YOU’VE NEVER BOUGHT KRAFT MAC AND CHEESE?????????

ok, I get your upbringing and all, but dude. Never? Ever?

Next I see you, I’m giving you a box.

Feminina:

Oh, I’ve eaten it. My grandparents served it occasionally. It’s kind of gross. I’ve just never bought it, because it’s kind of gross.

I don’t actually like mac and cheese in general that much (it’s never cheesy enough no matter how much actual cheese is in it, and the super soft overcooked pasta some recipes go with really doesn’t appeal to me), and I loathe ‘American cheese,’ so there’s no real win there.

I think the grandparents have tried serving it to O’Jr., but he’s in an incredibly picky “I will only eat yogurt and waffles” phase, so I don’t think even he’s in the market for it right now.

You keep it. Enjoy. I wish you many happy years together.

Butch:

Well, my ad now is swingsets, which I researched this morning. Helpful, really. There are some nice ones. 

You are an open book, anyway. That and they probably gave up on your after the mac and cheese thing. Those ads are trying to save you, man.

Kinda gross….dude. I bet she left the butter out. NEVER leave the butter out!

But Yeah, they’re barking up the wrong tree on the citizen’s watches. Though they are good watches. Mrs. McP wears one, and it’s been ticking, like, 15 years. Still looks nice.

The expansion is totally nuts. They’ve already said that Cyberpunk is even bigger. What are they DOING? I mean, I love ’em, but they’re gonna bankrupt themselves.

Feminina:

My grandmother never left butter out of anything. You take that back!

I’ve now got a cable/internet war in my side ads, with Xfinity followed by Comcast, followed by Verizon. I’m just so glad to see I have options!

I rarely actually look at the edge of the screen, so I didn’t realize this was what Outlook thought of me: someone interested primarily in shoes, watches, processed food products, and internet service providers.

I thought we were better friends than that, Outlook.

I don’t know what we’re going to do with a game longer than the Witcher 3. Block out an entire year for it, I suppose. Or just serve Kraft mac and cheese at every meal so we have more time to play.

Butch:

I’m for the latter! I am! Little ketchup, all set.

But we’re going to play it. You know we are.

But…then….if there was butter…inexplicable. I was RAISED on kraft mac and cheese.

Feminina:

Well, there you go. I wasn’t raised on it, so it seems foreign and weird to me. I was raised on my mom boiling macaroni and then dumping grated cheese on top of it, so that seems normal. And also not something I bother to replicate in my adult life.

But man, that baked mac and cheese some people are all over, with the bread crumb topping and stuff, I just can’t get into. Too…squishy. I’d probably prefer Kraft, which at least has recognizable noodle texture.

Butch:

Well, they’re just doing it wrong. You make a noodle dish (mac and cheese, tuna casserole, baked ziti) you gotta undercook the noodles before you bake, or they’ll OVERcook when you bake and boom. Squishy. Undercook, let it get all perfect when you bake.

Sheesh. Cooking is a dying art.

Man, we gotta play some games here. Or I do. Tonight.

Feminina:

It is a dying art.

But remember, the upbringing. We didn’t have your fancy ingredients, like milk, or sauce. We had macaroni, and we had cheese. My mom combined those to achieve the rich, exotic flavors of macaroni and cheese in combination.

I was one of those kids who didn’t like tomato-based sauces for a good while, so I would still have preferred it over spaghetti and sauce.

Yeah, we need to have some games to discuss, or we’ll have to change the blog to “cook first, talk later.”

Butch:

That would devolve very quickly. I’ll get back on LiS directly.

Feminina:

Yeah, within days it would just be me saying “All I did was throw grated cheese on macaroni again, so you need to send me another pie so we have something to write about.”

Which now that I think of it could work out well for me.

Butch:

But it’s hard to work romance in.

Feminina:

True.

I mean, I love pie, but as romance it’s a bit one-sided.

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