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Relationship spoiler for the Witcher 3



Well this is awkward.

I mean, we’re called play first talk later. But….I’m saving Rise of the Tomb Raider for the weekend, so I’ve got nothing to play.

But if I don’t, what do we do? Talk about work? Our kids? We don’t DO that.


Um…yeah…awkward. I didn’t play anything either.

You could play Gone Home again really quick. Log back into FO4 to keep Buttons company. Hatch a few eggs in Pokemon Go and discuss the weird monsters you get (it’s OK, I can handle the pain of talking about it).

I’ll try to finish Blood and Wine tonight and we can both talk about Tomb Raider next week, assuming I’m anywhere near the end. Also, then I can talk about the end of Blood and Wine in vague terms and you can express sadness that you don’t have time to play it, or else relief that you never started it (if it turns out to be terribly tragic, which it almost certainly will).


Tragic? You’re still burdened by your shame in the main game. I had no tragedy at all. Cakes. Sorceress. All good. So there’s hope.

Life is Strange taught us: don’t plan.

But we so will.


I’m not ashamed, man, I’m just saddened. Saddened at the way my enlightened free-love ideals collided with conservative old-fashioned morality and brought pain to the two women I cared for so deeply. If only they’d been willing to open their minds a little, to share me as I was perfectly willing to share them, we could have had a blissfully happy ending all snuggled up among the furs in a giant bed like a bunch of sexy, sexy puppies…who needs cake?

Geralt of Rivia: secret hippie.


Well….that was awkward.

Though I heartily endorse that as the ending to all games. Life is Strange would have been so much better if, right at the end, five hot sorceresses came out of the tornado and you ran off with them. With cake.

Would’ve made as much sense as the real ending.


Sure, if by “awkward” you mean “incredibly hot.” Because you’re right, pretty much any game could end like that and it would be great.

Maybe not The Last of Us. Completely wrecks the tragic mood.


Fair point.

But you’d play Madden if it ended like that.


Hmm…I would certainly be strongly tempted. Yes. Yes, I probably would play it.

Get on that, Madden. There’s a whole new audience waiting to be won over!