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No spoilers, but vague discussion of death scenes


Stupid, stupid, STUPID two gig patch. It was still going when I put it in rest mode last night. Still going.

So my game experience was watching a bar slowly fill, and I didn’t even finish THAT.

At least we have rest mode.

I tried, Femmy, I did.

It is quite a nice collection of drawings in the art book we got with it. I particularly like the one of the Laras of all time hanging out in a diner. Good art. That’s something. I do like me some extras.


That’s weird. I didn’t get that patch. Did you have to intentionally seek it out? I’ll have to do that, I guess.

I only played for about 15 minutes, but I did get to appreciate the glory that is Lara’s exquisitely programmed hair. You’ve ruined me, game! How can I go back to regular static hair now?


It was automatic! You know when you’re playing something and it’ll go “downloading version whatever of that game you don’t play anymore?” It was that! Unbidden! Couldn’t avoid! The hell?

Told you about the hair. Impressive, ain’t it?

Does it have a good start?


That’s extremely weird. I totally didn’t see it. It did start loading an update, but it was just a ‘network’ update and said “to continue playing without network features, press OK” or something, so I obviously said screw the network features and carried on.

Decent start. Some tutorial bits, some immediate scene-setting, gorgeous graphics (of course).

I’ll probably get the giant update tonight. Maybe they roll it out in waves or something?


Dude, if this was network features, those are some motherfucking network features.

At least you know the hair wasn’t a download. I mean, without the TressFX, thing would barely be playable.

Tonight. Better be tonight.

And this game is getting a patch for the Pro making it even prettier! Now THAT’S gonna be some hair!


We’ll see if it prompts me with a patch today. And yeah, at least the good hair was already in there.

I mean, I would have turned it off, and possibly thrown the disc right out the window, if I’d been confronted with some horrible lackluster last-gen hair. You can’t stand for that kind of thing anymore.

I expect more from Tomb Raider, and I’m glad to say that they deliver where it counts. And the next-gen Pro hair will probably reach out of the screen and blow across our faces as we climb.


Really, after the reboot, it’s been hard for me. Especially life is strange. But I muddled through. For the blog.

You’ll probably never need the patch. This was just the universe resetting itself and letting you get ahead of me. I’m glad. I mean, that time I was playing a lot, there was a tornado at my house.

Life is strange, man.


We make sacrifices for the blog. For our art, really. It’s our contribution to the betterment of humanity, and even if sometimes it requires painful concessions to bad hair…we grit our teeth and press on.

It did look as if the awesomeness of the hair is more evident in the cutscenes than in the playable screens, but I haven’t progressed far yet…I’ll be keeping a close eye on this.


I also look forward to a detailed analysis of breast physics.


You know where I stand on breast physics: until we have equal representation for johnson physics, I’m not interested.

You represent, and I’ll sulk and toss in MALE NUDITY NOW!!!!! demands every so often.


The difference, you see, is that, especially now that we have females all over the vidya gamez, breasts are visible all the time. I don’t mean NUDE breasts, but breasts. Johnsons are not. I mean, unless every female character wears sports bras and sarongs, the fact that they, in fact, have breasts will be evident. Ergo, it’s more important to perfect breast physics, and one will see breasts moving all through TR, while one did not see johnson moving all through UC.

That’s my stance and I’m sticking to it.



That’s MY stance, and I’m sticking to it. (You have a point in terms of the clothed form, but I refuse to allow myself to be distracted.)


Good lord, it’s only Tuesday. We’re way too early for this Friday-afternoon conversation breakdown.

I’ll play tonight. I must.


Yeah, we are a little early, but as you say, we haven’t been playing enough.

Get on that!


Right now, my PS4 is netflixing Bo on the Go which is a really annoying show. But at least the patch is installed.

What do you say, can the boyz watch any of this? Or does it reprise the hyper graphic death scenes?


Oh, yeah, I totally meant to mention that: MUCH less graphic death scenes.

From what I’ve seen so far (though I’ve only died by falling), it’s just a very quick image of her falling, a truncated yell, and a cut to black. No twisted corpses on the rocks below, no impalement on sharp objects, none of those loving death visuals we looked at a bit askance before.

Again, I’ve only played about the first 15 minutes, so they might go back to the graphic deaths later, but so far, very much more reserved and I would say fine for kids as long as they’re OK with the general idea of the character failing/dying in the first place.


Oh they saw Nathan Drake fall plenty.

Ah the days of them fighting over who’d be Nathan.

Wonder if they’ll fight over who gets to be Lara……..


They’ll be fine, then. If anything, these deaths (so far) were even less graphic than Nathan’s. Yay! You can play with the kids around!



Now watch: minute 16 will scar them for life.