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Puncherson_64LadyBrain_64

Minimal spoilers for the existence of a place to shop in Rise of the Tomb Raider

Butch:

I got nothing. Well, I got a fever. That’s fun. After picking Jr. up from tennis, I fell asleep, put the kids to bed, fell asleep, ate dinner, fell asleep.

Today. I will play today. Though I have to go help my parents load a truck they’re driving to NYC (They move into their new place this week, thus preparing it for us to crash in), and I have to make Mrs. McP a bunch of food.

Feminina:

It IS important that your parents get their NYC place in good order so that we can crash in it, but it’s also important that you help Lara out with her dude-murdering project. I hope you can fit in time for both.

I played a bit. Climbed some stuff, murdered some dudes, set some things on fire (molotov cocktails, man). Still in Siberia but in a new region, 29% done overall.

Butch:

I want molotovs! When do I get molotovs???

Feminina:

I only got them recently, so they’re some way ahead of you, but they are, as always, completely awesome. Something to strive for!

Butch:

Lanterns are pretty good, too. I like lanterns.

Feminina:

Lanterns! Good times. I’ve been seeing a few lanterns, but always forget to do anything with them. It’s the old story: I never remember to shoot at the explosive thing! Those generators everywhere make a satisfying boom, but do I think to shoot them during combat? I do not. Barrels of oil are often lying around dangerously ready to explode, but do I shoot at them in combat? I do not.

Last night I was in a fight in a burning building, and I basically just ran around dodging people until they burned to death. “Be better than your opponents at not walking into burning walls” would SEEM to be a pretty low bar, but it was enough to get the job done.

Butch:

HA! I’ll remember that.

I guess that’s why I’m not an action hero. I suck at not walking into burning walls.

I shouldn’t joke. An LED lightbulb in my kitchen pretty much caught fire yesterday. And I didn’t even shoot it.

Feminina:

But…LEDs are supposed to save us from all the evils of other light bulbs! Long lasting, low energy, etc.! If I can’t even trust them not to catch fire when I’m not even shooting at them, where does that leave me?

Siiiigh.

Butch:

Well, it was put in four years ago, by our turned out to be a moron contractor. It said, right on the side, “Not for use in enclosed fixtures.” It was in an enclosed fixture.

I like the curlycue ones. They work fine.

Back to games, for a moment anyway: Seems we might have something to do, at least briefly, after RotTR: as a freebie for the PS+ (gotta love those) this month, we get treated to “Everyone’s Gone to the Rapture,” one of those walking around finding stuff games that artsy pants people like us love. Indeed, it’s from the makers of “Dear Esther,” which pretty much invented the walk around find stuff be artsy pants genre. It’s supposed to be fantastic. And it’s free! I’m in. After I blow up some dudes with Molotovs.

Feminina:

Ooh, free artsy finding stuff! I’m in! Just as soon as I’m done with this AAA-action murdering dudes and finding stuff.

Butch:

We do artsy. It’s what we do. And Molotovs.

I gotta say, it was a bit of a tease to have a shotgun there in the very contrived supply shack that I couldn’t afford.

Very contrived, that shack.

Feminina:

It was a bit, yeah.

“Hey, I’ve got some stuff here…and I know you’ve killed everyone you’ve seen so far…but I’m going to just offer to SELL you some stuff instead of handing it over in the desperate hope that you’ll spare my life, and if you happen to find any Byzantine coins lying around, I’ll totally give you something to buy with them, since otherwise they’re completely meaningless.”

I bought the rope ascender, so I can speed on up the zip lines. I’ll come back later for the shotgun. I will. That shotgun is destined to be mine, and we both know it. It waits for me. Yearns for me.

Butch:

We WILL have a game convention, dammit! And make the coins matter. So there.

Once again, I celebrate 330 PM by saying “Man, I have to play some games.”

Feminina:

Go play some damn games! The blog depends on you!

I can’t talk about anything interesting until you do.

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