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Some spoilers for objects in the Witness


I’ve been staring at this particularly pesky late game puzzle in the witness (and the three screenshots I took of it…..yup…….it’s like that…….) until my brain melted. Had one of those moments about another puzzle where I was all “Oh SHIT! Look at that! A detail I missed! I’ve been looking at it all wrong! And now that I look at it differently…..I still don’t know how to do it.”

Also started Day of the Tentacle, which I am enjoying more than you did because a) I’m playing with the kids, b) I’m spending most of my time as Hoagie and c) I have a certain nostalgia for point and click games because I started playing games about 92 years before you did. There was a time when this shit was top of the line, man! As good as it got! Good times….well, not really, but….whatever.

I can see why you didn’t get into it. But it’s good for a chuckle.


Hate when you realize you totally missed something, and oh, hey, this is a completely new clue!–and I still have no idea what it means. I will…look forward to that, I guess.

I haven’t done anything. Can’t wait to get back to those pink trees, though!

And I’m glad you’re enjoying Tentacle. I can totally see that it would have been a blast if I’d been playing it on a computer back in college (it might even have pulled me away from Tetris!). But I just couldn’t manage to dig it right now. You dig it for both of us.


Counting Es. No….that wasn’t it….uh…..oh yeah! Look at the damn trees!

Here’s a non-spoilery tip: if you get to places where you just have absolutely no fucking idea about what idea you are even supposed to have, you probably haven’t been someplace else. The game is pretty good at giving you areas with one thing you haven’t learned yet. If you get to a place with, like, many things you don’t recognize, find another place.

My kids are digging Tentacle for you. It has a sense of humor that’s right up a nine year old’s alley. Or a six year old. Or a three year old.


That’s what I figured…I haven’t really been spending much time on anything that makes absolutely no sense, because I figure there’s probably an intermediary stage and I’ll come back. I mean, it’s a small island, I can only wander so far away from any given point. I’m bound to be back through. Maybe next time I’ll know what the hell is up with–whatever that is.


Yup. But…as small as it is….You know how I said screenshots will help things here? Did you notice what was IN the boat you found? A picture of that will be very helpful to you.


The map in the boat is useful? Inconceivable!

I figured I would be looking at that map again. Eventually. When I play some games. Possibly. After I’m done counting EEEEEEs.


Yeah, figured. But I’m new to this being ahead thing! But then, I suppose, when we’re playing Uncharted or something, you don’t waste time on “When you see a gun…..that might be useful.” I apologize.

Now let’s see if you figure out what the boat does before I did. I took a long, long time. Then felt stupid.

There’s a lot of that in this game.


The boat does something? Besides travel around the island? Noted. I will go back and explore it at some point.

You know, whenever. Probably. At some point I’m going to get around to exploring everything here.


Wait you…..never mind.

It took me a very, very long time to figure out I could make it move.


You will get around to exploring everything! It isn’t all that big. But there’s lots to see, for sure.


Darn it, here I was thinking the boat could also fly or something.

I may not be good with trees, man, but I’m good with boats! Apparently.


Seriously. Months.

“Why’d they put the map on a boat? What does it MEAN?”

Oh….it means you can take the boat to….those places on the map……

I knew that.

See? You’re ahead of me.

Count Es.


It’s cool. I’m still lost with regard to the trees, on account of I haven’t looked at them lately.

And those sort of transparent ones…and the ones with the Tetris blocks…and the ones with the colorful stars…I’ll just sail (or…steam? jet? what manner of propulsion DOES this boat use?) around and around the island, thinking about all the puzzles I haven’t solved.