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Some side quest spoilers for Horizon Zero Dawn

Butch:

MAN did I magpie. Like, a lot. Like, I don’t even know where I am.

So I decided not to do the sword thing that was far away, so I picked the “dude’s estate” one. Clear an estate! Local! Fine. And on the way, I found steps going up. “Where do those stairs go?” thought I. So up I went.

And found this spire, temple complex thing. And she was all “That must be the spire. It’s huge.” And I thought “Huge, yes. That it is. The fuck is it?”

So I wandered about focusing on stuff, couldn’t make heads or tails of it, moved on.

Did the estate thing, though. All of it! Completed! Remarkable Reward box ahoy! But glinthawks, man. I STILL don’t get how to do glinthawks. Resist cold potions help, but there still is a lot of firing blindly with ropes and dying. I was doing so well until the glinthawks. I had to turn down the difficulty to do the glinthawks.

Did you do that one? Cuz there was a twist.

Then….and here’s where the magpie gets turned up to 11…I thought “I’ve been around here so long…maybe something closer to home…” so I picked the one where you have to find the Banuk place where they live in harmony with machines. So I fast traveled pretty close, went all sneaky around about 18 machine sites and got there. Talked to some dudes. Hit save.

Whoa.

Have you been there? Cuz we can talk.

Feminina:

Nice magpieing!

I did the dude’s estate. Saw the twist. Which, fine, dude, use the devices to summon machines, very clever, but turning it on while you’re holding it? Very stupid.

But an interesting take on the idea of family as something you can depend on for support and everything. This guy turned on his family (and the extended ‘clan’ of their employees who lived on the estate) because he wanted money. Nice. Heartwarming.

Although the father did protect the daughter by locking her in that house, so I guess we’d have to say that family sometimes motivates some people to noble actions, while doing absolutely nothing to inspire kindness in others.

That was a while ago for me, so those glinthawks were tough. I don’t think I even successfully tied any of them down, I basically just ran and hid and shot fire arrows at them for many minutes. Wore them down eventually.

I’ve also been to the place where the Banuk live in harmony with machines. Very interesting little story, there.

Butch:

I learned magpieing from the best.

What I was wondering is where did the dude on the estate GET those? We sort of took it in stride, like, of COURSE there are lures! I was thinking “Uh….”

A twist on family, and a game twist! How many estates have we liberated in our time? So very many! And they almost ALWAYS lead to grateful dudes! Happy dudes! Who have noble intentions! We’re never tricked into all this shit!

Aloy is more easily tricked than other heroes, isn’t she? I blame the lack of dialog options.

Never. Turn. It. On. When. You’re. There.

I kept making the mistake of shooting ropes while they were on the fountain. So I’d be all “A HA! You’re tied down! Now I shall jump over and whack oh shit I’m in the water…uh…sit still while I get out….uh…out is over there…just hang on…one more second you flew away.”

I really don’t like glinthawks.

So far, yes, the Banuk thing is interesting. Though there’s also a sleeping thunderjaw. That, hopefully, isn’t part of the story.

It’s so part of the story.

This GAME man. It’s never easy. Even on easy.

Feminina:

Good point. “Yeah, yeah, machine lures, yawn…” but wait, where DID those come from?

Oseram digging in the ruins again? They seem to dig up a lot of dangerous stuff. Digging up junk, getting into trouble…again, my kind of people. Way more than these tech-fearing, mountain-worshipping Nora.

Ha…I bet there’s an online quiz out there, “Which Horizon Zero Dawn Tribe Would You Be a Member Of?” I’m not even going to find it and take it, though, because the Oseram had me at “looting ruins.”

There’s a sleeping thunderjaw at the Banuk Harmony Camp? Interesting. I didn’t have one of those at mine. I think the big scary thing I had was a ravager, which was new and alarming to me at the time: I hadn’t seen thunderjaws yet. (I wandered up that way and stumbled on the camp before I ever left the Nora Sacred Lands and headed for Meridian, so it was a while ago and there was much I had not yet encountered.)

Butch:

I know! Everyone took the lures in stride, really. I’d be both fascinated and concerned.

And…yeah, Oseram….but that doesn’t explain why ANYONE would want one of those things, ever. Even 1000 years ago, I highly doubt anyone was all “You know what we need more of? Glinthawks. They really bring the decor together.”

Lootin’ and Booze. What else is there?

T SHIRT!!!!!!

No, it is most certainly a thunderjaw. Indeed, the dialog choice was “What about the thunderjaw?” And the dude was rather calmly all “ah, yes, we didn’t tame it….we don’t know if it’s sleeping or calmed by the blue light or or or” and I’m thinking “Dude, that is an untamed thunderjaw and all of a sudden I don’t like this quest.”

So did you not have this quest? Cuz I got hired by a dude in Meridian to go find this camp….

How did you even survive getting up there? It was a parade of “Machine site: longlegs. Machine site: chargers. Machine site: glinthawks.” I was all sneak sneak phew got by that and…..worse shit.

But back to magpieing……

I get that I’m not supposed to know what that spire is all about. I get that. I have played enough games to know that something like that is a) important b) later. But…that said…why put it there? It was on the way to the quest they gave me. What do they expect?

“Hey, here’s a level 15 quest. Follow this path….what those stairs? Those big, important looking stairs right on the road to that quest I just gave you? Yeah…ignore them. What do you mean you can’t? Sure you can! Hey! Get back here! You’re not supposed to go up there until…..shit.”

If you have an endgame thing, or at least a thing that’s for later, why plop it right on the way to a side quest? There was no way to miss that thing. It was right by the dude’s estate!

Feminina:

No, the camp wasn’t a quest for me. I mean, it was once I got there –“investigate what’s going on!” quickly became a thing I needed to do–but no one sent me there so I wasn’t on a mission until I arrived and talked to the shaman or whomever.

And how I got up there…sneaking, mostly. Lots and lots of sneaking. Magpie inspired sneaking, always looking for the next campfire.

As for the spire, yeah…I also saw it. Figured I couldn’t know anything about it. Moved on. Yet remained consumed by curiosity. There have been a few places like that so far in this game, that seemed obviously to be places but that I couldn’t get into, but most of them were way the hell out by the end of the map in a “one day we will get a quest that leads us to the far reaches of the land!” sort of way.

The spire is just right there in the middle of everything. I suppose we’ll just have to hope it’ll mean something at some point.

Butch:

Oh I got hired. Are we talking on the same camp? I found a dude in Meridian who hired some other dudes who disappeared….. trying to find how they tame them? Same camp?

I, too, did the sneaky. Though I did stop to try to kill a couple chargers, cuz I need a charger heart. My plan was tame one, have it go nuts on its friends, repeat. So I tamed one. And it sat there. Just sat. So I tried throwing rocks to attract other, nasty ones over to where the laziest charger in the sacred lands sat, and…nope. They wandered over, wondered why their buddy was just sitting there, ambled off. So I tried the ride it and jump off and let it charge into the fray trick, and I guess I jumped off too late cuz three broke off from the fray and chased me so I ran like hell. I escaped, and caught my breath, and, two steps later, literally, two steps, “Machine Site: Glinthawks.”

Fucking game.

Oh you haven’t done anything with the spire? It certainly matters to someone at some point.

Yeah, see, places that you can’t get into way out in the far reaches of the map…THAT makes sense. THAT we see all the time. Skellege was WAY in the corner. It wasn’t in the middle of everything, surrounded by bridges. It was over THERE. You don’t put important shit that you’re not supposed to see yet where everyone can see it. Or, if you’re going to take that risk, you make it hard to find, hard to get to. You don’t put a big fucking staircase that BEGS to be climbed up to it.

Odd.

Feminina:

I think it’s probably the same camp. Bunch of machines hanging out all peaceable? People coming and going and not getting attacked? Some of them talking about the machine spirits and stuff?

I found someone who mentioned it in passing after I made it to Meridian, but presumably since I’d already been there and…investigated…no one tried to hire me. Too bad. I probably missed out on a Remarkable Reward Box.

And no, I saw the spire but was distracted by something and never got around to going to check it out. Unlike me, really. Well, the distraction is like me.

Butch:

That’s the one. Blue light. I’m kinda glad I got there at night. Brought out the strange effect of their weave tattoo things that look awfully painful.

Never miss out on the remarkable reward boxes. Remarkable!

But you know? I got one last night. Wasn’t that remarkable.

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