Puncherson_64LadyBrain_64

Minor, vague spoilers for different things in Horizon Zero Dawn: mainly Brin

Butch:

I got nothing. Well, very little. I took my afternoon meds too late, so I was foggy at game time, and played like shit. I knew I didn’t have it, so rather than truck on with story, I decided to magpie a bit, get a flower, maybe some hunting, etc. And I sucked. BOY did I suck. Main quests? No dying (except for the deathbringer, which can be excused). Last night? Seven times. It was like, Machine site discovered and you’re dead.

Just horrible.

Forty minutes of playing, and all I have to show for it is getting stalker blood for Brin. One Brin vision. Didn’t even get a metal flower.

Horrible.

So now I’m at a crossroads: I don’t really have much to do that isn’t story, and, if I travel to the exploited campfire of shame I could be very close to that. But Brin wants me to take out a thunderjaw, and I’m pretty close to one. This would also get me shit for the lodge, and, shamefully, I still haven’t fought a thunderjaw yet. I’m feeling a little inadequate on that front.

But time is precious. I don’t know.

What to do, what to do?

Feminina:

I sympathize with your plight. Thunderjaw! Gotta fight one eventually! And if you do this and take blood to Brin he’ll ask you for stormbird blood, which will get you in good shape to multitask one you fight that.

And don’t forget that once you have those Lodge trophies, you can go after Redmaw, whatever that is!

But then there is story. Quite a lot of story. You could definitely do some story and then come back to the thunderjaw.

Hm.

Butch:

Oh. Great. Wonderful.

Why am I doing this? Did Brin promise me anything? No. Is he interesting? Not really. Why am I doing this?

Redmaw! Yes! Him!

Goody. Or something.

Wait, what? WHAT? What do you mean “QUITE A LOT of story?” I thought sunfall was pretty much it. Crash HADES, charge in, kill everyone and….scene. It certainly has that feel. Lt. Daniels saying “Don’t go there” implies “Cuz it’s the end.”

So is it a really LONG endgame? Or is there QUITE A LOT of story?

This GAME man.

Feminina:

Yeah, I thought that about Sunfall, and…close. Not quite, though. I guess maybe in terms of going to different places there’s not QUITE A LOT left, because there’s really only…this couple of other things.

Maybe it just felt like a lot because there’s a lot of, you know, story stuff. But I’m quite close to the end now, and it’s only sort of a bit further than Sunfall.

Plus Redmaw and Brin. You don’t think his visions are interesting? I thought they were kind of interesting, because he’s not entirely wrong. As Aloy says about his take on the corrupter, “well, that is sort of how it works.” (Or something along those lines.)

So is he actually picking up something from this machine blood? Communicating with the network in a strange, imprecise way because his own blood is full of nanobots or whatever?

Stranger things have happened.

Butch:

Oh man, shit. “Couple of other things” in this game is, like, three months worth of stuff.

I’ll be 52 when I start MEA.

“Short bit,” huh? Really? REALLY?

Well, interesting, yes. But it would be one thing if Brin’s visions were, say, datapoints, but having to schlep somewhere and die six times to get stalker blood (and take 40 minutes of real time) is a bit much to earn them. I’m not sure they’re THAT interesting.

Feminina:

It’ll be fine. There’s Sunfall, information information fight fight etc., and then there’s one more place to go after that for more information. Or, no, two… unless there’s more after where I am… Look, I don’t know. It could be another six weeks.

And true, Brin is more academically interesting than practical, and you do have to fight pretty hard for that information… but you’re doing it anyway for the Lodge! It’s all good!

Butch:

You watch. I’ll do it, and I’ll go from 65.2% to 65.9%.

This game is not going to end.

Oh right! The lodge! For the hottie!

This game had so very many good romancable characters. Damn you T for Teen!

Ok, so here’s a thing I’ve been meaning to bring up and, given today is slow, now’s the time.

So there was a patch a while back that gave me the ability to do something every game like this should do: Hide Aloy’s headgear.

I don’t like headgear. I get that helmets add to the realism and all that, but they’re SUCH a pain in the ass during dialog and whatnot. I remember one game, a DA game I think, that would leave HUGE helmets that blocked your face and everything on.

This. Sucked.

Aloy’s been hatless since the last patch. Shepard never wore a helmet.

As it should be.

Feminina:

Hats. The bane of every player’s existence. I remember the giant DA helmets. And in Fallout 4! I romanced Piper from inside a giant hazmat suit. Lost a bit on the emotional impact.

No wait, it was power armor! Worse. I did it to prove my charisma was up to the task, but it was limiting.

Butch:

Oh, shit that WAS the worst! I always took it off when I knew I was going to talk, but the NPCs weren’t as considerate. Cait bared her soul to me about being addicted to psycho when she was in full power armor, which garbled her voice, in a place with background noise.

She was in that barbarian outfit from there on out. Hatless.

But it’s key for the hero. Especially when the red braids are bangin’, man. She worked hard on those. Respect.

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