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Puncherson_64LadyBrain_64

Some spoilers for Horizon Zero Dawn side quests and trophies

Butch:

Ok, I dutifully went out and killed glinthawks (And a stormbird! Brin and Tallanah will be so happy) and destroyed lures.

I didn’t get a big gun. No one mentioned a big gun. Did I miss the big gun? Cuz I only did that for the big gun. WHERE’S THE BIG GUN??????

You remembered the big gun from some other quest, didn’t you?

Feminina:

Oh…maybe I did. Did you meet Petra Forgewoman? She was in someplace that had a glinthawk problem. An Oseram settlement. I thought that was Pitchcliff, but…now that I think of it, it wasn’t on a cliff, so…dude, sorry.

You said glinthawks! I thought of glinthawks!

Um…the good news is, this quest was shorter than I led you to expect. That’s good news, right?

Butch:

No I did not find Petra Forgewoman! Who the fuck is Petra Forgewoman?

WHAT THE FUCK?

You’re messing with me.

Feminina:

Um…she’s very nice. She has quests. There are glinthawks.

Looks like she’s actually in a place called Free Heap. My bad. But the glinthawks! The glinthawks threw me. I didn’t look it up on the internet before, because glinthawks.

Have you been to Free Heap? There’s…stuff to do there. And a big gun. Sorry, man.

Butch:

WHERE THE FUCK IS FREE HEAP?????

How did you finish this so fast? Or ever?

Quests? Plural?

Feminina:

It’s…uh…I’m just going to quote the wiki since my memory clearly can’t be trusted:

“Free Heap is an Oseram settlement to the northeast of the Carja Sundom, close to the border with the Sacred Lands.”

Also…uh…it turns out it wasn’t even glinthawks they had a problem with. It was scrappers. And bandits.

So basically I told you helpful information about a COMPLETELY unrelated quest. Sorry.

It’s been too long since I played.

But there is totally a big gun there! Probably. I mean, it’s definitely in this game.

Butch:

Dude.

Just….dude.

Dude.

This had better be one awesome gun.

MAN I thought I was in a good place. Give shit to the lodge, give shit to Brin, hit the main story, boom. Done.

It isn’t that way, is it? Even if I resign myself to skip a couple cauldrons?

Feminina:

Oh, it’s a great gun. Fabulous gun. You’re going to love it. It’s actually called the “Oseram Cannon.” How can that not be amazing?

But I am filled with shame and sorrow at misleading you. I should have told you to tell Pitchcliff to buzz off while you went to look for Free Heap. It’s my fault you wasted time helping a bunch of losers with their stupid problems instead of advancing the cause of obtaining a big gun.

Still, you’re in a…not bad place? Give blood to Brin, drop off trophies at the Lodge, decide whether or not you want to face Redmaw.

Find Free Heap, do a couple of quests, get a big gun. (I mean, not get it to carry around with you, but get access to it for…later.)

Go to the place Gaia told you to go, way up north (it must be on your map now). Gaia Prime. Get more information and the Ultimate Override or whatever she called it.

Come back down to Meridian and do some final battles.

The end is not completely out of sight. You can do it.

Butch:

Out of pure need to make sure you were not messing with me, booted up just now. Gave shit to the lodge, got the redmaw quest, gave Brin his shit (kinda like Brin, nice of him to tell us to look him up….in dreams…), got a flower, thought “That ONE place I didn’t go on the map…yes…that” and yes, it is, in fact, free heap, and there’s Petra and her big gun. Yes.

I better face redmaw. I’m getting a sense, considering I told everyone at the Nora place to go to Meridian, that making friends will help the endgame. Hunters are friends. Plus I’m curious about redmaw.

Feminina:

Right. Pure need. Well, see, that’s why I did it! To drive you to action!

You’re so right. Friends. They’ll all come to help you later! I’m not sure how much difference it really makes (like, is there that much of a chance that you could just lose if you didn’t make all the friends?) but it’s nice to have them anyway.

Butch:

We make friends in games. We make friends because we hope they are romance options in sequels.

I already count potential friend/romances:

Erand. Avad. Nil (yup). Tallanah. Varl. Petra Forgewoman. The sassy veiled lady with the abs.

So many.

Let’s just hope not Brin.

Feminina:

Yup, you’ve got a good list going there with the friends. There’s a trophy for “recruiting all allies”! Which I got, and no doubt you will get, because we make the friends.

It’s how we do.

Befriend meeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!

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