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Puncherson_64LadyBrain_64

No playage, no spoilage

Butch:

Fucking old republic should have researched how to cure gunky awful coughs that won’t quit after TWELVE DAYS because I was going to write and play and stuff but NO cuz I fell asleep because I haven’t slept cuz I have a gunky awful cough that hasn’t quit for TWELVE DAYS.

This sucks.

Like, really sucks.

Feminina:

They probably would have filled your lungs with molten lava and then replaced them with a mechanical ventilator. Problem solved! As long as you haven’t lost the will to live yet.

Sounds like you’re on the edge there. Sorry, man. I’m still unsick, but not playing because of unsleeping children. So basically nothing to talk about.

Except molten lava and its association with the will to live.

Butch:

I am on the edge. It’s at that point where it’s just better enough to give me hope that it may, someday, end, and then I cough again.

Cruel.

Feminina:

I’ve had that! It sucks.

“Maybe this is an improvement! …nope.”

Perhaps a lava flow cocktail would help.

Butch:

That looks good. Needs to be in a bucket.

The other problem of the crushed hopes and dreams phase is it makes the going to the doctor option even less relevant.

It’s either:

“You sound ok.” “Well, yeah, I feel ok right now…” “Then why are you here?” “Cuz I won’t feel ok in 45 minutes….” “Riiiiiiiight.”

or

“Well, you don’t sound as bad as you said you were when you called last week….” “Well, I AM better, but…” “So you’re getting better?” “Well, I suppose….” “So just give it more time.”

I suppose there is a third option:

“WHOA you’re getting over a pretty nasty infection there!” “What? Can you do anything?” “Well, ten days ago, antibiotics would’ve cleared it right up, but now, it’s almost over on its own. You have a good immune system! Keep drinking fluids.”

I hate the world.

Feminina:

It needs to be in a LARGE bucket.

It’s true, medical science is so useless when it comes to colds.

“Yup, you’ve got a cold. Carry on.”

On the plus side, I suppose, you saved yourself the hassle and expense of a doctor’s visit by playing through all the options yourself.

“Have a bucket of rum and try to get some rest.”

Butch:

You’re vaguely in medicine, explain me something:

Why do they have to add “fluids?”

“Drink plenty of fluids.”

As opposed to what? What do we drink that is NOT a fluid? Is it even possible to drink something that is not a fluid?

Is it because they don’t want to say “Drink a lot?”

Feminina:

Yeah, I think partly they don’t want to say “drink a lot” and partly it’s an imperfect translation from the obscure doctorese, like they would normally just say “increase fluid intake” but they’re trying to sound more like a normal human so they’re like “that means drink, you know…like you normally do with fluids…”

It’s just one of those phrases that’s kind of silly no matter which way you approach it. What would you drink, except fluids? How would you consume fluids, except drink them?

Stop the redundancy!!!!

Butch:

It’s just another reason to hate the damn world.

At least I got not one but two naps in.

Feminina:

When you’re sick, naps are key.

Or, as Daniel Tiger informs us, “when you’re sick, rest is best.”

Butch:

T SHIRT!!!!!!

And, for some reason, my voice always goes and my coughing returns when the kids come home.

Feminina:

You’re probably allergic to them. This whole thing is their fault.

Butch:

They’re very verbal. And they expect me to be just as verbal.

Feminina:

And then there’s all that emphatic reminding of them to not wave light sabers around near the TV. I understand.

Butch:

We need hand signals for that, we really do.

Feminina:

Or maybe just a red flag to wave at critical moments.

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