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Some spoilers for romance options and clothing in Mass Effect: Andromeda

Butch:

It’s Thursday, right? Didn’t sleep well. Kinda groggy.

But I played!

I’d have more, but Holy Moses I forgot how long that first “I’m gonna talk to everyone on my ship/castle/campsite takes in a Bioware game.

At least an hour, but I’m not sure exactly as I played for an hour and only talked to Drack, Cora, Lexi (I didn’t even finish with Lexi), and the first part of Vetra (you know, you do the cutscene, and they’re all “We’ll talk later” and you immediately talk later). So there’s more Vetra, I haven’t even found Liam (where the hell is Liam?), and there’s probably that Gil dude that’s in my Codex who I think I said hi to once, long ago.

Where the hell is Liam?

And where did you get that spectacular outfit? [note: reference to a screencap of Ryder in workout gear, as seen in this story] I found the wardrobe (And the stereo! I KNEW there’d be a stereo!) but all I could do with the wardrobe was trick out my armor, and switch from long sleeves to short sleeves to jacket. I could very much NOT switch to casual tank tops. How’d you do that?

And where the hell is Liam? Or Gil?

And aren’t you a cheeky blogmate? All “What about Cora? Don’t you like Cora?” when you knew she wasn’t gonna be into me. I tired, man! And she doesn’t like girls. You knew that, didn’t you?

And I suppose Lexi’s right not wanted to bang patients.

Where the hell is Liam?

I’m going to choose to think my flirt fest is completely in character. I’m celebrating! I just set up a foothold for humanity in another galaxy! And I haven’t gotten any in six damn centuries!

I’m also pleased I’m getting to know the characters. Another thing people forget (or not) about ME games is that the best stuff, the themey stuff, happened in the loyalty/character quests. Got Drack’s last night. Hope it’s good.

(We talked about that before we started blogging. We were very smart about it. And it is lost to time.)

Feminina:

I swear I didn’t know that about Cora! I haven’t flirted with her yet. We had that intense conversation about her feelings of loss and betrayal over not being made Pathfinder and stuff, and then I thought I’d give us a break. Come back later when she’s had time to process. Etc. Although now that I know she’s not going to respond to my flirtation, I may never speak to her again.

Kidding! Man, we’re textbook sexual harassment cases waiting to happen. Submit to my unwelcome advances or face career consequences!

I like Cora. She’s tough. Not everybody has to be into me in a romantic fashion. There’s another character I’ve talked to who was all “ha, you’re not my type, sorry,” and I still talk to…that person. No spoilers.

I think I found Liam down in the bottom of the ship somewhere? Near the Nomad? Gil hangs out there too. Working on the engines.

I went back to flirt with Suvi, but didn’t get the awkward exchange you mentioned. I just said “you know you’re not alone here” and she said “aw, you know I’m here for you too,” or something. Kallo remained silent on the matter.

I would totally flirt with Kallo, he’s kind of funny, but so far the option hasn’t come up. Maybe Salerians don’t romance outside their own species…there was never one as a romance option in the earlier games either. Prudes.

Oh, and I didn’t have the workout gear at first either…I don’t know exactly when it turned up in my closet. Maybe Lexi decided I was getting soft, all that driving around in the Nomad rather than running everywhere on foot like a REAL adventurer, and wanted to plant a subtle hint that I needed to spend more time on the treadmill.

But keep checking! It’ll be there! And it’s hilariously awesome. I love that I’m running around the ship having serious conversations with people with those giant headphones around my neck. Stay classy, Ryder.

Butch:

I totally need that.

As I always forget to change my gear anyway, I am going to spend all my credits and research on outfits.

Who needs another assault rifle? Know what we need on this ship? A sports bra that supports AND flatters.

Anyway, I DID change out my gear and it sucked. I got a couple new assault rifles, and they had more damage. More damage is good, thought I. So I switched it up, and, apparently, “rate of fire” isn’t “how many bullets come out as you pull the trigger” it’s “How OFTEN to do you have to pull the trigger.” So I’m all used to my trusty avenger, which you hold the trigger and unleash mighty death, so I pull the trigger and two shots pop out and it stops. I’m holding the thing down all “WHAT? WHAT’S WRONG????”

Not helpful.

Damage only matters if you’re shooting.

T SHIRT!!!!

Feminina:

I’m with you all the way. More outfits! I’ve already looted about 50 different guns and I’m sure I’ll loot 50 more in the next 500 hours. Why bother inventing my own minor modifications when I could be researching new images of Blasto for my workout tank tops instead? (Man, I hope you can do that. You probably can’t but it would be so awesome.)

Butch:

Exactly! After a long stint of shooting kett, a girl’s gotta chill. Plus, I mean, when you’re getting your flirt on, you really need more options than just long or short sleeves.

The jacket? What’s that? Is it chilly on the Tempest? I think not.

As for Cora, c’mon! You flirt with everyone! You’ve found a way to go up to loot containers and be all “How YOU doin’?” You can’t pass up a heart option! If there was a heart option that said “This will erase everything on the PS4” you’d be all “Worth it.”

Who’s gonna sue us? They left the lawyers in the Milky Way.

Hmm. PB, Suvi and Vetra seem pretty ok with me. Not sure who you mean.

But no. Cora was all “a commando friend of mine said that to me once. I told her thank you, but I’m not into women.” Sigh.

Ok. Down by the engine is where I found Vetra and had to stop. I’ll chill down there a while.

Flirt with Suvi again. It’s the second time. The first time is all feeling each other out, then Ryder kinda gets all silly. It’s worth it.

And salerians, meh. They have no exoskeletons. They’re not for you.

Feminina:

The ship can’t be that cold, if I’m comfortable wandering around in those workout clothes. I probably order them to turn up the heat for me. The privileges of rank and all. Everyone else is sweltering in their armor and I’ll just say “hey, you could put on tank tops too if you want, don’t blame me.”

It’s true, salerians don’t have exoskeletons, but those do have those cute little horns. And those big soulful eyes.

Butch:

You should see salerian eyes in 4K. So much more soulful.

Regarding tanktops, indeed, it would be much more of a bioware game if they all did put them on. Hand out Morrigan’s outfit. Done.

Maybe that’s why they all want to hop into bed with you. “Phew! Finally out of that outfit! I can cool off! Oh, yeah, that too.”

Feminina:

“Now with 20% more soul!”

I am missing out.

Butch:

TWICE as much soul, man. Twice. Can see all the little lines in his sorrowful irises. It exudes wistfulness.

I cannot wait to tell you what you’re missing in the sex scenes.

It’s Friday early! I blame Bioware.

Feminina:

Wistfulness?! Oh, man…I love me some wistfulness. Sigh.

I blame BioWare for everything.

Butch:

One of these days, you’ll cave and get a pro.

No, I retract that.

One of these days, Mr O’ will cave and get a pro.