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Spoilers for the Reyes/Kadara/Charlatan quest and the ‘first baby’ quest in Mass Effect: Andomeda

Butch:

Oh Reyes you charlatan, you!

That was one of the twists that you think “Ok, I’m really stupid for not seeing that coming.” I should have seen that coming. I really should have. More on that in a bit.

So choice wise, saved Sloane, didn’t shoot Reyes, so he’s out there somewhere, after giving me a jaunty wave, and I’m “allied” with Sloane, I guess. Whatever gets me an outpost. Which I have. Whoo hoo!

So I was thinking “Why didn’t I see that coming? That was so obvious! Am I stupid? Am I getting stupid?” and I realized: It was because of the flirting. I can’t think of ANY game that lets you flirt with a character who has his/her own agenda for flirting with you. You don’t get PLAYED in games! If the NPC is flirting back, if you have a heart option, if you can pull the trigger to KISS (yes, I did, not ashamed) then that NPC is a GOOD guy, or at least an open book. Once you’re flirting in a game, there’s just NO CHANCE that the NPC is doing anything OTHER than flirting back because you’re awesome. They don’t flirt to trick you. But Reyes did.

And the GAME did! Because there were, maybe, 394832755 heart dialog choices. SO MANY! More with him than I’ve had with Suvi! The game was lulling us into that false sense of security! On purpose, I think!

I think reason number 5927538203 I like Morrigan so much is that, before this, she came the closest to a love/sex interest that had her own agenda for being with you. You played that as a woman, so you didn’t get the same impact of her asking you to be the father of evil demon baby, but that was a pretty punchy moment if you were a male character, especially if you romanced her. There was a lot of ambiguity as to whether her come ons (if you didn’t romance her) or her professions of love (if you did) were genuine or if she was doing all of it just to get you to father demon baby. So that came close, but it stayed ambiguous. She COULD have loved you, it could have been genuine….Reyes? Nope. You got PLAYED.

And that was cool.

Feminina:

I know! I should have seen that coming! As soon as I saw him there I was like “oh, of course, you!”–but I didn’t suspect. I think you’re right, he distracted us with the flirting. We’re not used to people flirting with us for other reasons besides us being awesome (or us being their boss and them possibly being afraid they’ll get fired…ahem, workplace flirtations). Well played, game.

And see, at that point I was angry at being played, so I DID shoot him, but it didn’t kill him, he got up and escaped anyway. Later I got an email saying “I thought you’d be upset, but shooting me in the back? That’s cold. Still, I’ll always remember that fun night at the party,” or something. (I also kissed him. And since it faded to black, who knows how far that went?)

So he’s still out there and apparently doesn’t hold it against me, although he probably wouldn’t hesitate to shoot ME in the back if it served his purposes. But then, being the charlatan, that was probably always true. And I wasn’t the biggest fan of Sloane, but I couldn’t just stand there and let her get ambushed, so that was when I sided with her too. She wasn’t all bad…sort of. (And I liked her second in command, that turian, and was upset when he was beaten to within an inch of his life, so I wasn’t the biggest fan of the charlatan and the Collective either. One of those ‘there’s no really good option here’ choices.) I told her “no more heads on spikes!” and she grudgingly agreed, so, you know, maybe with my influence Kadara will become halfway decent.

It’s what I do. Try to make things marginally less terrible.

Butch:

An Outlook issue unfortunately ate Butch’s brilliant response, but it included the following points:

  • never got another chance to romance Reyes, just the smooch to ‘create a diversion’
  • also liked the turian and that was bad they beat him up, although we kill hundreds of dudes a day so what does that say about us?
  • did the ‘first baby’ story; sent them all to Eos; felt they didn’t do as much with that story as they could have

Feminina:

You never got another chance? What else did you do at that party? I did the ‘diversion smooch,’ but then later that evening we were sitting and talking and looking at the stars or whatever, and there was a kiss option that led to a fadeout. I wonder how you missed that. Maybe he just didn’t like you as much as he liked me. It’s probably my adorable pixie cut.

As for him beating up dudes and us killing dudes…well…see…the thing about that is…hey, look over there! A plot point!

It’s true, the baby story wasn’t as involved as it could have been. Although really I don’t know exactly how many ways they could have taken it. I mean, I totally get that we shouldn’t be having babies yet, we’re not ready, etc., and if there was a choice where you could allow or forbid the woman to become pregnant, that would be one thing, but she just HAD the baby. It’s not as if they’re going to give us a choice to either let her keep it, or toss it out the airlock as a drain on resources.

I suppose we COULD have forced her to put it in a stasis pod…that would actually have been kind of an interesting moral dilemma. Taking a newborn away from its parents is obviously terrible, but is letting it out there to be raised in an incredibly dangerous environment better? And yet, hasn’t every baby ever born been raised in an environment that was, to one degree or another, dangerous?

Hm. Well, they didn’t make us decide that. Anyway, I also sent them all to Eos.

Butch:

That would have been an interesting choice! But no, never saw more conversation options with Reyes at the party.

If you’re at 100% on a planet, you’re done, right? Cuz I’m at 100% on everywhere but Voeld, where I’m at 84%.

Getting there……..

Feminina:

Oh, you poor, innocent thing…OF COURSE you can keep getting quests for planets even after they’re at 100% viability! Why would “100%” signal some kind of closing point? That’s just silly!

I think getting planets to 100% may have something to do with how many settlers are available in the end to help you with end things, because this is BioWare, but people can still give you missions on those planets, because this game is endless. You can probably ignore many of them, though.

It sounds like you’re pretty well on course to ignore a lot of extraneous stuff and charge towards the end, so go you!

That’s so weird about Reyes at the party…I wonder what I did differently that I got the heart option? I had been flirting with him pretty hardcore from the beginning…maybe you missed one flirt option somewhere, and that made him think you didn’t REALLY like him? These suave dudes are very sensitive, you know.

Butch:

Oh not in regards to quests. I’ve been ignoring so many. No, I mean that’s all the monoliths, right? Vaults? Running from smoke monsters?

Feminina:

Oh, that, yes. 100% is all the “making this place habitable” remnant magic stuff. After that it’s just running around looking for great-grandad’s handaxe.

Man, I miss that thing. Sniffle.

Butch:

And hitting rocks. FOR SCIENCE!

OK, good. We’re almost done with monoliths.

I can start to see what probably isn’t the end.

Feminina:

Damn it I miss those rocks! And scanning bodies! I never did scan all the bodies.

Thanks for opening up old wounds, man.

There were no hexagons! I would have obsessively tracked down every single one of those body-scanning (sounds like I was looking for a job with TSA) etc. tasks if there’d been hexagons, but if you don’t give me a quest marker, I’m out. There are limits even for me.

Butch:

Dude, the bodies DO have hexagons. Indeed, the only way I remember which forward station is the one by the slums is that it has two hexagons right by it representing unscanned bodies.

(Sorry. Probably shouldn’t have told you that.)

Or that I’m making the first pie of the season and the house smells great.

Homeownership tip: Nothing goes with the percolating of radiators quite like the smell of pie.

You’re gonna love it.

Feminina:

Oh no, not those bodies. I did scan those. I mean the bodies on Eos, long ago. Remember, when you’re supposed to scan all the bodies from the original colony that was wiped out by kett, to identify them for the survivors or whatever?

No guidance. No closure.

It IS going to be the weekend. Maybe I’ll make my own damn pie!

But probably not.

Butch:

Oh man! I forgot about those! That was, like, 200 playing hours ago!

Maybe you can’t finish it. Maybe the people who made the game were like “After all that, let’s make them finish with a task they got in the first half hour of the game!”

I may have pie, but I’m also increasing my gas bill. Cuz, you know, when you own you pay for your heat and…..

Oops. Heh. I mean, you’re gonna love it.

Feminina:

Enh, we pay for our heat now. Quite a bit, since the apartment is full of windows, which is great for natural lighting and breeze in the summer, but not so great for drafts in the winter.

We don’t pay for water…but how much can we really drink? Right?

Butch:

Water is a nice, cheap bill. It is. 

Well, it’s cheap until your kid gets to that age where he’s taking four hour showers. Or so.

We just had our most expensive water bill since last year, when we were watering our lawn during a drought.

Junior’s gotta speed up.

Feminina:

Can you get a programmable thermostat for your water heater, so it will turn off after, say, two and a half hours? Cold water is cheaper! Enjoy that refreshing and character-building icy shower!

Butch:

Dunno. We don’t have a water heater. We have one of those all in one super efficient furnaces.

Feminina:

Ah, that’s tough…you don’t want to have to chill the entire house to make him get out of the shower. Ah well.

Butch:

Great furnace though.

See? You’ll know about furnace quality soon!

You’re gonna love it.

Don’t worry, everyone. We have enough to play that this won’t turn into a furnace blog.

But in the meantime, I heartily recommend a Buderus.

(PFTL is not sponsored by Buderus Boilers, Inc.)

(But we can be bought.)

Feminina:

“All the video game and furnace discussions you could ever want!”

Butch:

Dude, someone wants to pay us, I’ll talk about any damn thing.

Well, as long as we still have time to talk about games. And nudity!

Phew. It’s been a while since a nudity derailment.

Feminina:

“This FURNACE will keep your house so cozy, you can play VIDEO GAMES in the NUDE all winter long!”

We’ll be hitting the keywords like nobody’s business.

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