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Puncherson_64LadyBrain_64

Spoiler for that sidequest with the crumbs in Mass Effect: Andromeda

Butch:

I got nothing. Junior is 10 going on 17 and is acting like a moody assed teenager. Lots of chores…

No games though.

****crickets****

So….uh…..

****more crickets****

So…what? Nudity? Hostas? This is certainly going to be an “ephemera” day.

We have gotten to the point where the first two back up topics we have are nudity and hostas. The fuck is wrong with us?

Feminina:

Naked gardening! Hostas in the nude! Future advertisers will love that!

We saw the kids’ 9-year-old cousins over the weekend. Their mom also mentioned the “going on teenager” attitude that starts to develop around now.

CAN’T WAIT. At least maybe by then we’ll have finished moving and will have hostas to tend as stress relief.

“I HATE YOU!!!”

“Fine, I need to go water the hostas.”

I played a bit. Have to say, I’m quite enjoying the banter in this game. Chloe and Nadine do some good chit-chat. You’ll love it.

Butch:

Try not to finish up with Chloe. I’m going as fast as I can here!

Dude, if it’s as bad as it’s getting with Junior, you’ll need plants that need more care than hostas. Hostas are too easy. Tomatoes. They take time. Or roses. They’re a total pain in the ass.

But less so than a ten year old. They smell better, too.

Feminina:

Roses and tomatoes it is. It’s important to think about the future when landscaping!

I was thinking about how these sweet, adorable babies, who are sometimes obnoxious but in relatively simple ways like not sleeping or eating or something, become these large, opinionated, angst-filled creatures seething with passions that can only be expressed by shouting at the tops of their lungs. It’s so weird!

Time to go prune those roses.

Butch:

And it’s a rip off too cuz we won’t need them to take care of us in our old age! We’ll be in the home playing games.

Gonna go pick aphids off of…something. Maybe pull up some weeds.

Feminina:

YEAH! They’ll come around saying “well, we were really annoying as kids, but at least now we spend time with you,” and we’ll say “um, don’t feel you have to linger, I’m sure you’re busy and I do have hundreds of dudes to murder…”

There are always aphids on something. (Even this time of years?) Or weeds. Always some weeds somewhere. Dead weeds can still be pulled.

Butch:

I always really hated aphids until today. Silly me for not being open minded. Everything has a purpose I suppose.

Feminina:

Indeed! Don’t hate the humble aphid, for one day it may be the method of your escape from preteen angst.

I shall make a note of this, to remind me to appreciate the aphids in days to come.

Butch:

I would remind you to appreciate the humble aphid, but you and I both know you wouldn’t know an aphid even if I pointed to one and said “see that? That’s an aphid.”

Feminina:

Actually, in my hippie childhood I was exposed to a number of outdoorsy and garden-related phenomena, including aphids, weeds, and potato bugs (which we used to pick off the potatoes and put into jars, and obviously, the fullest jar wins).

For some reason I am reminded that I once had a terrible crisis of conscience when I was traipsing through the tomato bed and broke one of the plants. I tried for what seemed like hours to work up the nerve to confess it to my mother, and finally just slunk away to bed in silence.

Nothing was ever said about it, so she probably either didn’t even notice, or assumed a dog had run over it or something, since there wasn’t a fence around the bed. To this day, my soul bears the stain of that guilt.

I’m so sorry, mother.

Butch:

You….you monster!

I’d have blamed the aphids.

See? Another lesson for home ownership. Don’t traipse.

Feminina:

I’ve already ordered a big NO TRAIPSING sign for the walk. No one else should have to suffer the kind of guilty torment I have.

Butch:

Wise. Nothing invites traipsing like well edged hostas.

Feminina:

NO TRAIPSING. BEWARE OF (other peoples’) DOGS.

Speaking of dogs/pets, did you do the random side mission about the creature that was eating food on the Tempest?

Whew! Finally something game-related!

Butch:

I thought we were doing quite well!

I TRIED to do that quest! I found the first crumbs, and, when I’m in the NOMAD room I get that “bloop! Scan!” thing, and I scan and scan and scan and find nothing. I KNOW it’s crumbs, but…nothing.

So I got nothing. Even on that I got nothing.

I’ll play tonight. I just did all my dinner prep to free up time.

Feminina:

I know, it was hard to FIND the damn crumbs to scan them. I was scanning all over the whole floor, and you have to get JUST the right angle.

Then you have to do it about four more times to track the thing down.

Spoiler, it turns out to be some sort of gerbilly thing that you can trap and keep in your room as a pet, which is why I thought of it. Cute, but don’t bother putting off the end just to do it.

Pretty sure it doesn’t add to your offensive capabilities in any significant way.

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