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Minor spoilers for Cyseal-area quests in Divinity: Original Sin

Butch:

Man, it seems like Friday already. And not just because we got weird yesterday. This week is going so slowly. And I was sick all night, and I have a headache and barfing and all sorts of great stuff. Fun.

I hate it when I have a stomach thing and can’t drink coffee, cuz that leads to head things, but I digress.

Played! And dude, where HAS this Wolgraff thing been all my life? (I mean, other than right there on the skill bar….ahem….) That made short work of the trap house. Just blooped him over all the traps and lava! Then got him to the waypoint there and voila. Everyone popped through! And, as I have him in bracers and a ring that boost his lockpicking, I was able to get through that gate to the poison pool thing! Which led to the…poison pool thing! (I still have no idea what to do with the poison pool thing, but it sure LOOKS important.) There was some decent loot there, but nothing earth shattering.

Then I decided to see if I could find a way north to the church from this side of the house and magpie along the way.

I’ve noticed something about magpieing in this game. Usually, when one magpies, time gets spent getting off the beaten track. You see something over there, and then you go over there, and see something WAY over there…etc. This game, you notice something, and it’s right there, and you still have to spent time either figuring something out (more on this in a second) or staring at it wondering what you have to figure out before saying “fuck it.” (the poison pool).

So I found this little lava pit, and, in it was “West King’s Chest Key.” I mean, who WOULDN’T want “West King’s Chest Key?” But damned if I could get the thing without dying 27 times. Took forever. Wasn’t even really that hard, but I was tired. So it wound up being time consuming despite it being right there.

The Twin Dungeons did this to me, too.

But I got the key. Then went north and there were these three Skeletal guards. They killed me a couple times, but then I thought shit through, used sneak to position everyone just so, armed myself with the right things, and….WON! So satisfying! It’s so great when a plan comes together and you beat things that are a higher level than your party! You just feel great! So great that you think “Pfft! I’m on a roll! I’ll just see what’s up these stairs. How hard could it be after that?”

At least I remembered to quick save.

Cuz up those stairs was that undead dude that talked about a king….you meet him?

Better zap myself home and buy some more fire stuff before I pick things up there.

Feminina:

Oh yeah. THAT guy. That guy and his undead empress with the pure bones we weren’t fit to disturb or whatever. That party kicked our butts. It wasn’t even really close.

So we bailed and went off to poke around other places. Haven’t been back yet.

Isn’t Wolgraff’s teleportation awesome? Love it. Somewhat relatedly, how do you use telekinesis? I have a rank in it, but I can’t figure out how it works. It’s not on my skill menu, and it doesn’t seem to work to just click on things…is it with ‘options’ on the square? I forgot to check there…

So, we played, but we didn’t do any of the stuff you’ve done, we just magpied around for a while. Sorry! One gets distracted. I know where the West King’s Chest is, though. It’s actually over by the undead guy talking about the king, whom you’ve just met. Check that out.

We KIND OF figured out how to get into an entirely different dimension, which is a thing, and I was all “let’s explore!” but Mr. O’ said “let’s clear up a few more things in the FIRST dimension before we go picking up quests in another one,” so we went back. BOR-ing.

Useful things we learned: you can set ooze on fire! It makes a very satisfying explosion, too. Just don’t be right next to it.

Butch:

That’s the dude.

I mean, I did take out his level seven guards, but that was when I could set up everything just so. Fights where it’s like “And now I will kill you,” you can’t be all “Hey, um, could you chill a minute while we stealth to where we want to be first? Mmmkay? Cool.”

Yeah, going off to poke around elsewhere seems like a plan.

Uh, telekinesis is not teleportation, is it? Cuz if it isn’t, can’t help ya.

I did manage to find that chest, and I picked the lock on the East King’s chest, which kinda made me mad that I spent all that time dying to get the damn key for the other one. Wolgraff would’ve been all “Dude, I could have handled that” if he could talk.

Wait, what? Another dimension? HOW? Where? Did you go to the End of Time again? Was there a….shit…dude…you gotta do this so we don’t spoil each other’s shit. But do tell about how you got where you got. That’s weird.

Actually, that bit about ooze explains some of the times I died…..

Feminina:

Other than Wolgraff, none of us can teleport, so I don’t think so. It just says I can use it to move small objects without touching them, which could be handy, but I don’t know how it works. Ah well.

It was probably in a tutorial I ignored. Incidentally, nice mechanic there making you hit X to say “I understand” what the little pop-up is telling you. I can still ignore it/skim it and miss half of it, but now they can prove I SAID I got it, so I can’t complain. Good legalese.

We did not go back to the End of Time. (Were going to! Distracted. Also, ‘source pebbles’? I have something called ‘star pebbles,’ but I ain’t got no source pebbles.)

This was a completely new realm! Not reachable by the Waypoints! I don’t know how or if it ties into the Waypoints and the End of Time. It was a bit random, to be honest.

Butch:

Ah, that would be handy! Teleport only works on big things, and not, say, keys. Which I tried. A lot.

Yeah, I noticed that about having to indicate understanding on the tutorials. And you have to hold it down. “Really sure? REALLY sure you get it?”

Dude. Go. To the end of time.

And where is this dimension? How? Did you finish something I didn’t do?

Feminina:

More like ‘barely started something you didn’t do.’ It gave us a lot of XP, but we didn’t finish anything. NOTHING. I don’t even understand what we STARTED.

Literally, you’re just walking along exploring and you meet a thing and have a little conversation and get “do you want to go to another dimension? I can send you right now.”

Uh…OK? I mean, what could go wrong?

You’ll stumble across this soon, probably. It’s in the same general area as the trap house/death staircase/King’s Chests, but north. Past where the dog wanted you to fight wolves.

So we’re probably still kind of in the same place on the map, but having done completely different things along the way.

Butch:

I get asked that about other dimensions, like, every week.

And that’s usually what I say.

Oh dude! I was just going to go that way! Because the whole point of getting past the trap house and going north and finding the guy with the bones and dying was to get north, past the lava, and, hopefully, to the waypoint that I can see on the map that is taunting me (like the one on the beaches up there). (Spoiler: can’t get to it from where the bone guy is). So I was gonna go up that way! Cuz I haven’t killed those wolves.

Yup. If that’s where you are. I’ll catch you soon! But maybe not tonight, cuz this shit I have here, THIS is the flu. Chills? Throwing up? Can’t swallow cuz sore throat? That?

Feminina:

I’m sorry about the sick. That sucks. At least this isn’t the night you have a nice dinner planned? Faint, faint bright side? I hope it passes quickly. That’s about the best one can say with the flu. Rest, imbibe fluids, etc.

Butch:

Nah, I have no plans save for killing virtual wolves. But there are these kids who do NOT get the concept of “Guys? Dad feels like shit. Could you be slightly more quiet than usual? And maybe not fight?”

Feminina:

Kids NEVER understand “maybe don’t fight.” Does not compute. “But dad, he TOUCHED MY STUFF.” Or took my toy, or scribbled on my picture, or looked at me funny, or moved my carefully piled items…

It’s the simplest video game ever. ‘My great-grandfather’s missing handax’ is genius storytelling by comparison.

With kids it would be just “you walk into town and some guy knocks over your block tower.” FIGHT!

“You go to the bar and order a drink and some other guy asks for a drink too and wants the same cup you wanted.” FIGHT!

Enjoy those wolves. GENIUS narrative.

Butch:

Not even! “I walked by him and I was bored so FIGHT!”

I tried to kill the wolves! But didn’t. This time, I’m gonna try to draw fire away from the dog. Must. Protect. Dog. Cuz you mock the narrative, but I can TALK to the dog. I’m sure it’ll have all sorts of narrative.

Watch: he’ll explain the whole dimension thing.

Feminina:

He probably will! Good luck saving the dog. I still feel bad about the dogs.

Butch:

Well, now that I know the whole “sneak and get into position” trick, I can put a couple of my guys right by the dog. All good.

And the wolves are clustered. I feel some grenades might work….

Feminina:

Grenades! I always forget I have those. Grenades are good.

Ooh, do you have the Holy Hand Grenade? I almost used it last night, but then, reading the text carefully, noted that it heals everyone within a large radius. Since our enemies were right on top of us at the time, I concluded this was not in our best interests. Still, a fun item. They have a lot of amusing puns and references.

Butch:

Ooo! Good safety tip! I never thought it would heal the bad guys! I’ve been waiting to use it until I REALLY needed it, like some awful boss fight, but I don’t want to heal the boss….

I wonder if those underwear were a reference we didn’t get.

And why haven’t I found more underwear? I don’t have anything else I can equip in that spot save for “smelly panties” and no. And I have no “garments” whatsoever, save for what each character came with. There’s gotta be something to all that other than start of game garments and jokes. Right?

As for starting gear, I also rather liked “Wolgraff’s dagger” and “Wolgraff’s other dagger.”

Feminina:

I know, I haven’t found anything else to put in that underwear slot either. Doesn’t it have a picture of a belt on it? Suggesting that at some point we might find magical belts, but I haven’t so far.

And I really liked “Wolgraff’s other dagger.” So much so that I haven’t sold them, even though he now has some much better daggers that he uses instead.

Butch:

Yeah, a belt. That’s why it’s so weird that you can put underwear there.

I haven’t sold it either! I also still have Madora’s sword and the source hunter armor.

Reminds me of olden times, it does.

Feminina:

“Ah, remember last week when we were wearing that armor? So many good times…”

I always hesitate to sell things that have people’s names on them. I think it’s because this one time in a BioWare game one character called you out on it, like, “sure, you gave me this new, cooler sword, but I really liked MY sword!” or something, and I thought “wow, that’s awesome characterization, of course people WOULD get attached to specific items,” and ever since I’m kind of worried in the back of my mind that someone is going to be unhappy if I sell their stuff.

So I give them the better stuff and keep their old stuff hanging around in my inventory for 50 levels, just in case.

Butch:

It would be even cooler if you gave it back to them in 50 levels and they said “Uh…..really? You’ve been hanging onto this piece of shit? Dude, the whole reason I joined you was for the better loot.”

Feminina:

That would also be pretty awesome. “Check it out, I’ve carefully kept your first-level gear!”

“Uh…why?”

Look, I respect both a sentimental attachment to worthless old items, and a strong desire to trade in said items for better loot.

Which is, as you point out, why we adventure in the first place.

Butch:

The NPC would be all “Uh….thanks….dude….”

{later}

“Hey NPC, where’d you get that gold?”
“Uh….”
“And where’s your sword?”
“Uh….in the shop?”
“Which shop?”
“The cheese shop.”
“Why’d I save it then?”
“How should I know? Hey, can I have my old garment back, too? I could use some ale money….”

Feminina:

“And you wouldn’t happen to have been holding onto Other NPC’s starting equipment too, would you? Because I’m just going to talk to her and I could totally drop it off. At the cheese shop.”