Puncherson_64LadyBrain_64

Minor vague spoilers for Divinity: Original Sin late in the game

Butch:

OK, was all coy yesterday but hell with it: hey, who got into the Source Temple? This guy!

First, picked a gratuitous “show me the XP” fight with some “mud lords” and “mud huntresses,” which was harder than I thought it would be.

Then went shopping.

Then zooped Wolgraff into the air plate place which was really easy and I don’t know what I was doing wrong the last time. Killed the poor, sad, lone void demon who’s ONE JOB was to stand in oil waiting for someone to step on a plate. That’s like what Kevin gets assigned when he pisses everyone off. “Wait, locked between two gates, sitting in oil, for eons then die.” Poor, poor demon.

Then…..did it again.

Opened the big door. Saw big assed demon. Died. Died again. And Junior said “Why don’t you go invisible, sneak past everyone, then use the pyramids to get by the door to the Source Temple?”

So that’s what I did.

Note that that did not involve killing the big demon and his friends, thus leaving 139875987549 XP on the table. Again. But I’m in!

You are not. I know this for sure. Because you need things you ain’t got. Unless you played A LOT.

And I think we’re getting damn close to the end. The trophy you get for getting into the temple is “Grizzled finale,” which is about two trophies away from “Grand Finale,” which is “totally, completely finish the game.” Whatever that means.

We’re close!

Feminina:

Great… We still need stuff? Siiiiiiiiigh. Back to the hunt with all our money and XP…

We didn’t play, so I can’t compete with your tale, other than to say dude, I seriously don’t understand how we’re so much tougher than you. We defeated the fiery demon inside that door on our first try. And we weren’t even clever or anything, we just fought him and his things. Bairdotr and Wolgraff both died, but that was largely bad luck.

I guess you have the brains and we have the muscle in this game.

Butch:

I’d say something about mr o here, but he’s got muscle and I can’t turn invisible.

Something about being whole. Dunno. Kill Cassandra maybe? You could do that easy. Even I did that. Well, got tricky, left xp behind, but did it.

Cutscenes? Shelter plane? Dunno.

There was a door and it was all “what do you want guardian?” And I said “I wanna get in,” fully expecting it to say “do other things,” but it gasped, said “you are whole” or something and let me in.

Go figure.

Feminina:

Yeah, we should probably go back to kill Cassandra. Also, the end of time awaits. We definitely need to check back in there. We have rooms that we haven’t opened and all, and I’m sure we can’t proceed until we know all that stuff you know.

So… Don’t finish without us?

Oh, go ahead and finish. You’ve worked hard and been smart, you deserve it.

Butch:

Really, you’re not that far back. Cassandra will take but a moment, as she’s level 18 and you’re invincible. The end of time..hmm. You should get a MAD plot dump and, like, three rooms at once. You’ll likely catch up to me if you do those two things.

Most of the time it’ll take is the mad plot dump. Sometimes this game rivals us in its verbosity.

Feminina:

If we ever play again, maybe we’ll get there. It will make it hard to discuss the end intelligently if we have to cover the equivalent of 200 pages in a post, but there you are. It’s the price we paid for being so tough and rich.

Butch:

Finish. You’re funny. I have to be able to kill the bad guy, remember? And I can’t cuz I suck.

Though I’m only 12K from level 19! So that’ll be, like, three weeks of playing…..

Grab Beyond: Two souls anyway. It’s free.

Feminina:

Oh yeah, free game! Noted.

Maybe the bad guy will be defeated with cleverness! It could happen for you.

Butch:

You jest, but just played an hour and a half.

There’s reading. And thinking. And no fighting.

You’re doomed.

Though I did finally beat those ghost poachers! And made level nineteen!!

Productive day.

Feminina:

Damn it, we’ll never finish! Thoughtful content is our Achilles’ heel.

Maybe there’s an alternate path to finishing that involves punching things.

Obviously, we defeated the ghost poachers a long time ago. Much good it does us.

Butch:

There….might be? Which would be rather interesting. Well, it’ll be interesting if you fuck it up. Theme wise. Cuz MAN there are THEEEEEMES. Like….wow. And….well…let me know how it goes. We’ll talk. A lot. Later.

Just start by looting. A lot. The library. There are books. READ THEM.

And take Wolgraff. I have no earthly idea how you’re supposed to do this without Wolgraff.

But I did all this shit….and still fewer XP than killing the damn ghost poachers.

I will never forgive this game for the XP.

Feminina:

We may actually play tonight! Nothing on the schedule! Freedom!

To look for things to punch so we can avoid THEEEEEEEEMES!

Butch:

I didn’t say there weren’t punchable things. I said there was no fighting.

Maybe.

There’ll be themes.

Get playing!

Feminina:

We don’t care about themes. We care about fighting. That’s what the game cares about, as shown by XP awards, and so that’s our focus.

It’s made us rich and powerful so far!

Butch:

This, in and of itself, is playing into the themes.

Trust me.

We’ll talk. Later.

But hopefully not that much later cuz play god dammit.

Feminina:

It will never happen. We’ll never play again. We’ll just be sitting down to finish the game and the PS4 will break. Or the power will go out because nothing in our house can function normally for more than 12 hours at a time, and we’ll have to wait a week for a electrician to replace all the wiring.

Meanwhile, you’ll be finishing up with Beyond: Two Souls.

I can see it happening. The tide can turn, you know.

Butch:

Oh and….

GET FREE GAME.

Cuz we’re close on this one. We are. I even got the beginnings of the “Well…this is it…” dialog between Scarlett and Roderick.

Feminina:

YOU’RE close. We apparently still have to get some stuff and become whole. Or something.

Don’t underestimate our ability to snatch last-minute magpieing opportunities from the jaws of the endgame. We’ll get another good month out of this, just watch.

Butch:

You, of all people, could do just that.

At least you won’t have to try fights 19 times, like I did. Cassandra will fall before you!

And, if you’ve already beaten the demon there in front of the source temple, you’re pretty much with me. Oh, and Wolgraff’s voice and…

Wait. WAAAAAAIT. You haven’t done the “have to be dead” thing, have you? Have you at least killed the guy in Wolgraff’s story?

Ah, well. Again, the fights in that temple won’t be that hard. You’ll be fine.

Feminina:

No, we have not been to the ‘have to be dead’ place, and don’t have Wolgraff’s voice.

Have we at least killed the guy…? Depends. If you mean the guy who was stealing all the animals’ voices, the one we discussed at length because you felt sorry for him and I didn’t, then yes. We killed the heck out of him.

If there’s another guy in Wolgraff’s story, then no, we haven’t met or killed anyone else related to the Wolgraff Issue. But since this is us, you can be assured that the one WILL be immediately followed by the other, so at such time as we meet him, he’s as good as dead.

Whether we mean it or not, really.

Butch:

Right, right. Been a while. Yes. That guy is dead.

No, no one else. There is a guy later on here, and he has stuff that can be looted, but even you won’t want to kill him. Probably. He’s handy.

DO try not to kill him. Plenty of stuff to kill. But it’ll all below you level wise. You’ll catch me in no time.

Cassandra, couple of fights in the temple. Plot dump at the end of time. Boom. Or, I should say, temple THEN Cassandra. Kinda important that way.

Feminina:

Yeah, I got that sense, what with the whole “she’s invulnerable unless you do this thing in the temple” bit. Thanks for the tip, Arhu! Good kitty.

Invulnerable things are SO irritating to fight. Even when you’re rich and powerful like us, you need things to at least take some damage, or there’s kind of no point.

Butch:

Yup. Very invulnerable.

But she has a thing, so you have to go do the thing to get the thing.

And Arhu. Whither, poor Arhu.

Feminina:

Ah, the thing. I really need that thing. Mostly because I’m hoping to accumulate some loot and XP from killing it. It’s how we do in this game, being the big, lunkheaded harbinger of doom that we are.

Butch:

Quite a thing. Big thing.

And you’ll get twelve billion more xp than I did.

Feminina:

At least. And an enormous pile of gold.

All to distract us from our guilt over the crowd of innocent bystanders we inadvertently knocked into lava on our way by.

Butch:

There are monsters what are summoned.

Or there WOULD have been, had I not been brilliant and exploited the game.

Feminina:

Ah. And so you brilliantly cheated yourself out of XP once again.

This is kind of a theme with you. Much like the deaths of bystanders is with me. I guess yours is at least less harmful to bystanders.

I’m way richer, though. Just saying.

But the bystanders and monsters you didn’t kill, they’re totally on your side! Take comfort in that thought.

Butch:

You are way richer. But Bellegar, bless his heart, caught me up. Some.

And, ironically, NOW I have crazy gear that I can sell for a fortune cuz source temple.

Sigh.

And I saved all those intestines for nothing.

WEIRD T SHIRT!!!!

You’ll likely figure out exactly what I did when you do that fight. And this time, I think, it was an exploit.

We’ll talk. Later.

Play, will you? Title of the blog or no, getting tired of saying that.