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LadyBrain_64Puncherson_64

No spoilers, except of our fragile good humor

Feminina:

I’m sure you’re waiting for me to start because I was going to have something to report, but…I have nothing.

I blame Mr. O’, who was sleepy and/or drinking beer every night (like you, he does not easily combine booze and games).

Since I did grab the free game last month, I was desperate enough to contemplate starting to play it just for something to do, but we don’t have the free space to download it. Siiiigh.

So I loaded up The Witness, and wandered around a bit thinking “this is very weird and lovely and damned if I can remember how any of these puzzles work.” I accomplished absolutely nothing.

I think that game’s time may have passed for me, unless we hit a long period with nothing to play where I can actually get back into it in a dedicated fashion.

Anyway, Mr. O’ swears we’ll play tonight, so…yeah.

How ’bout this weather? Nice, right?

Bah. I am filled with rage and bitterness, and I hate everything.

Butch:

Dude, if you’re booting the Witness, you’re desperate. And shit, I’M desperate here. I had in laws! I need to talk about games!

This is getting kinda silly. Tell Mr. O that if he doesn’t want to play, then you’ll play without him. You’re gonna forget the story. If it means so much to him that Bairdotr be run just so, he can pick up a controller. If anything, you’ll be able to compare and contrast the whole playing co-op versus playing alone deal. He’s making you miss valuable playing time!

Should’ve known, though. In laws, kids nuts, terrible weekend all around.

Feminina:

Terrible, terrible weekend. Well, I guess ours was OK other than not playing. No company, anyway, and kids pretty normal.

Though O’Jr. on ‘normal’ is getting SUPER melodramatic lately…”if I can’t do this, I’m going to destroy the entire Earth!”…uh, good luck with that I guess, and also, COUNTERPRODUCTIVE OVERREACTION to not getting more video time. So yeah, kids nuts.

We’ll play tonight! I promise! Or I’ll play without him. This can’t go on forever. I need games.

The blog needs games!

Butch:

Hey, just means O Jr.’s ahead of the curve cuz he’s acting like an 11 year old. Or my 11 year old is acting five. Or both.

But yeah, play! He can’t take away your game time when he wants to play a single player game AND take it away when he doesn’t want to co-op!

It’s been too long.

Feminina:

Too long. If I wasn’t insane before, I certainly am now.

Butch:

Here, I’ll make you like your life a bit: Just wrote a 15,000 dollar check cuz I’m having the deck replaced! And that’s just the second payment! Of three! (Though the other payments are smaller.)

Feminina:

I…I do feel a little better! Thanks! You’re a true friend. It’s true, I do have 15 grand.

I will go spend it all on booze.

Butch:

The problem with spending fifteen grand is that you need to recover from that shock by spending fifteen grand on booze and you no longer have fifteen grand.

A paradox.

It’s kind of sad how much a lack of games make us sad.

And enraged.

And insane.

Feminina:

We really do seem to develop increasingly severe mental problems the longer we go without games.

All those anti-video game people have it completely backwards!

Butch:

Exactly!

I can feel myself becoming…..normal.

AIEE!!!!

Playdates are tiring. At least I got exercise.

Wait….that’s what normal people do.

Feminina:

Normal?! Nooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!

Although that implies that we believe normal people are constantly filled with rage and hatred and dealing with increasingly severe mental problems.

Which…is possibly true.

Regardless, we have to stop this. We must.

Before it’s too late and the blog becomes all discussion of play dates and “remember when we used to play video games? back before we were normal?”

Butch:

At least the 15 grand was worth it. It seems my deck was basically rotten wood sitting on not much. The base of it wasn’t even supported by concrete, but by about a foot and a half of rocks and bricks in a pile, held together by cheap mortar. I had a grill up there.

I guess not dying a fiery death is worth 15 grand.

At least we got a T SHIRT out of today.

Feminina:

Wow. Yeah…good choice there. If you have to spend 15 grand, it’s hard to go wrong with something in the “avoiding a fiery death” category.

We have to replace our deck/porch eventually, but we don’t have a grill on it, and it’s all of two feet off the ground, so…an altogether less pressing concern.

Butch:

Oh, and dude, remember Pillars of Eternity? The bigassed RPG we were going to play but didn’t cuz we played Divinity?

It has a sequel. And you’re a pirate. A D&Desque game. Where. You’re. A. Fucking. Pirate.

AND IT HAS NUDITY!

Feminina:

I…actually don’t care that much about pirates? I mean, the swashbuckling is nice, but…I don’t care about ships and stuff that much.

But the nudity aspect does sound good.

I’m in. If we ever finish the game we’re not playing right now.

Butch:

Well, not on PS4 yet. We must wait for nudity.

Or play another game. With nudity.

As for pirates, two words: Lowlands Away.

Feminina:

Yes, but how likely is it that this other pirate game would actually feature Lowlands Away? I mean, I’m all in for a naked rendition of Lowlands Away sung by an angsty pirate, but…what if it didn’t happen?

I’m not sure I could take the disappointment.

Remember, I’m already very fragile right now, what with the bitterness and rage and insanity of not playing.

If it’s not on PS4 yet, I suppose we can wait and read up on the reviews before making a decision.

Butch:

Which is saying something, as it takes a lot to get you on edge.

Would you prefer a naked angsty pirate or an angsty pirate in heavy armor?

Play, dammit. It’s come to this.

Feminina:

Hm. I’d say that’s a tough call, but in reality the choice is clear: I want an angsty pirate in heavy armor who then removes said armor and performs a naked rendition of Lowlands Away.

IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?

It has come to this. Must play. Must…play…soon…

Butch:

At least we’re not talking about children and playdates.

Actually, armored, naked, singing pirates is far closer to what we usually talk about.

Now if it was a naked sorceress pirate singing….wait, shit. It CAN be….

Wow.

Better play before I ponder that too much.

Feminina:

This game could be everything we ever wanted!!!

Sorceresses! Heavily armored angsty people! Nudity! Romance! Themes! Group hugs! Heists! Fancy dress balls!

Let us quickly pin all our hopes and dreams upon it.

Butch:

They had me at naked pirate sorceresses.

Please play tonight. I keep thinking we’ve hit rock bottom and we go lower. I don’t want to know where our rock bottom is.

Still….naked pirate sorceresses does sound like something I’d preorder.

(You know that naked pirate sorceresses is going to become a running joke whether we play this game or not, right? Cuz we have dignity.)

Feminina:

We have SO MUCH dignity. It’s what we’re known for, really.

Butch:

We really should have saved some of this nudity for Friday.

T SHIRT!!!!!

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