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Spoilers for really-almost-the-end of Divinity: Original Sin

Butch:

Ok, you start.

Wait, if I say “You start,” thus starting myself, have I made it impossible for you to start?

God I’m tired.

Feminina:

I can’t start. You’ve ruined everything!

I’m also tired. We stayed up late fighting the Trife and Leandra. Definitely not 10-minute fights, but they were fine. There were a number of deaths and convenient mid-fight resurrections, but we didn’t have to start over, which is good because it would have been really annoying to have to start over after half an hour or 45 minutes in one battle. Leandra’s invulnerability trick was a good one. By which I mean, we hated it.

So yeah, that’s what we did. Wandered around the creepy backwards King Crab Inn (so THAT’s where that trophy came in), caused some explosions by trying to loot (cruel! cruel game!), prayed over the dead Astarte and then set the body on fire when that did nothing. Got into some fights.

Went to bed.

Butch:

hA sey. tahT.

Told you there was…more stuff. Too much stuff, I thought.

The “trick” I told you about was setting Andrastae on fire. That took me longer to figure out than I’m willing to admit. And I just admitted it took me a while. Nicely done.

I’d still be fighting Leandra if Junior hadn’t figured out how to disable the whole invulnerability thing. You….did you figure that out? Cuz once you destroyed the crystals she went down pretty quick.

Note comparin’ time! Three things: Maybe Four:

1) So I said yesterday that there would be something right away there. That would be those first couple portals and the thing that was all “You are nothing! You have fear!” blah blah blah. That asked you questions to get through those portals, all that. And I’m curious as to whether the fact I was forgiven and you weren’t altered that, so what did you do there? And what happened?

2) So…what did you make of the whole creepy in thing? Other than it being a creepy inn? Yeah, ok, creepy, but…I dunno. I’m not so sure I saw the narrative point to that. And it went on too long, especially for something that I couldn’t figure out the point to. But, as to the end of that, did you see ghost Alessa right before the trife showed up? Cuz that was the other time I saw ghost Alessa.

3) So what did you do after you killed Leandra? Cuz there was a choice there…..

4) Did you get the cup of blood from the Trife at the bar? And did you drink it? Cuz I didn’t, and I wondered what would happen if I did.

STUFF!

And guess what’s on the other side of that “Portal to Eden?” Go ahead, guess!

We can talk about the overt use of “Eden” later.

Feminina:

Ah, the questions…yeah, I answered one and Mr. O’ answered one, and we both just agreed with her. “A tiny scurrying worm, yeah, you must mean me…have it your way, I’m a traitor.” Which she thought was great, and then she disappeared and we went through. So I don’t know what would have happened if we’d challenged her characterization of us instead of going along with it.

The creepy inn was creepy. I don’t know what it was other than that…sort of a disturbing inversion of the familiar world, trying to get us into another frame of mind? I don’t know. We didn’t spend that much time there, it didn’t seem like…we found the key in the book pretty quickly, and once we realized there was no point in looting we just kind of moved on as fast as we could.

Ha…that kind of sums up our approach to everything, huh? “I will spend 8 hours in this room checking every corner… No loot? Let’s move!”

I told the Trife a drink sounded good, and it said “yes, it does, hahahahaha!!!!” and then…nothing happened. So it didn’t actually give me anything, and I didn’t have the option to choose to drink or not drink. I was confused by that, actually. Maybe we weren’t forgiven so we couldn’t drink? I don’t know. We’re getting weird differences here.

And yes, we saw General Alessa there, although then she started laughing in a deep ominous voice and I thought she’d turned out to be a fake General Alessa (especially since we were in the nightmare there, right?).

After we killed Leandra, we saved and went to bed. Literally. If there’s a choice, we haven’t done it yet. And yeah, we figured out the crystals pretty quickly to get rid of her invulnerability. I sent an undead swordsman after one of them! It was pretty sweet. She just kept summoning more void knights, and they kept getting tougher. And that vortex thing that teleported away when you hit it was annoying.

Still, we got it done! That’s the important thing.

Butch:

HA! That’s what I did. But what was interesting was I felt the same way. I, that is me, Butch, was all “yeah, yeah, have it your way” without actually believing I (or Scarlett) WAS a worm or anything. It was, for both of us, a fake repentance. Going through the motions of confession/guilt/whatever without really believing it.

And I’m not religious enough to know if that’s a sin. Going through the motions of faith without faith. If it is, then, again, here’s us sinning to win. Saying whatever the fuck to move things on and get back to Eden.

Interesting themeage.

We still have themeage!

Well, mostly the inn was full of former friends/people we helped who were either miserable (the cat was all “Maxine…she isn’t even here…she left…”) and Zixzax was all drunk saying we lost and all that. I think the most interesting bit was the folks in the rooms upstairs, the people we helped who were…kinda evil. I met the dude who I helped steal a fish. Remember him? Way back when? And he had all these fish trophies and was talking about them in disturbing, vaguely sexual terms (This one tried to fight…but I grabbed her…and she couldn’t get away…and I had my way with her….). The happy, chatty crab was no longer being nice, and was huge. It was a whole lot of “HA! You THOUGHT you were being good? Even when you thought you were doing the RIGHT thing you were sinning! Or helping others sin!” Which, again, brought home our themes.

But there was too much of it.

The trife didn’t bring a drink? Ha. Probably not a difference. Just your lack of patience. I said that and he poofed away, and, luckily, I had to yell at Nugget, cuz, about a minute later, POOF he came back with my drink, which was “puc fo doolb” and, if you looked at the item description it just said “og no….ekat a pis….” in a rather ominous backwards way.

I didn’t ekat a pis. Wonder what happened if you did.

You just probably moved on looking for seotatop and he poofed back all “Here ya go….where are they?” And zixzax was all “Welcome to my wooooorrrrrrld….”

Huh. You still got that bit with Alessa. Kinda surprised.

And seriously? There was enough time to save? I thought it went into choice land immediately. Well, there’s a thing you have to ponder and choose. Takes but a minute. Then, likely, a cutscene and off you go!

You’ll get one last chance to cheat yourself out of XP and then end of game ahoy!

And if you’re in a rush, there’s always turning down the difficulty. But I didn’t need to. You’ll be fine.

Feminina:

Seriously, the Trife came back with blood? Ha! I did just walk away, it’s true. Man, we missed out on everything due to lack of patience.

But yeah, true, the inn was basically “everything you did turned out badly!” Which is kind of our constant fear, isn’t it? And this place was supposed to be our nightmare, so I guess that makes sense. It was showing us what we were always afraid of, that we helped the wrong people, we tried to help but really we hurt them, we thought they appreciated it but really they’re miserable jerks, we killed the wrong people (interesting…I didn’t notice Archibald the troll or his kid there chiding me, but that would have been appropriate).

Also, I thought it was funny that the giant crab’s voice says “I will be queen!” but the text says “I will be king”. Another weird inversion, in a silly little way. And all those cupboards full of body parts, ew.

As for Leandra…uh…I don’t REMEMBER a choice right after her death. Do we have to pick whether to rejoin the soul forge or whatever? Because Zandalor basically told us we’d have to choose to do that or not, but we haven’t had the chance to pick yet.

Butch:

You certainly missed out on a lot.

Right, the inn showed us everything gone wrong. But was that just a nightmare? Cuz really, what would SCARLETT’S nightmare be? After all, SHE didn’t go around trying to do the right thing, really. Maybe I did, me, Butch, but Scarlett was never really motivated by any type of GOOD. I’ve even said that saving Rivellon might not be GOOD. So there wasn’t some overarching heroic shit. Source Hunters themselves were morally ambiguous.

So what is there that Scarlett is really afraid of?

Yeah, man. Cupboards. Yuck. Enough to stop looting.

HA!

And yeah, that’s the thing with Leandra. I guess you had to talk to someone? Her? Or try to use the portal or something? I thought it was one of those “Poof! Conversation” deals but maybe they gave you the chance to loot.

Ha.

But yes, that’s the choice. And it does kinda matter.

Feminina:

OK, we’ll probably get that choice next time we play. We didn’t try to do anything at all after she died, so probably as soon as we try to move it’ll come up.

I hope we get a chance to loot.

Butch:

No doubt. Hard to avoid.

And there is a rather handy wand. Did you get the rather handy wand?

It’s great if you want to cheat yourself out of XP.

Feminina:

Oh, yeah, I picked up the wand! OK, so we did do that much. She fell dead, I hit ‘search’ and scooped up a bunch of loot, and we saved.

Probably as soon as we talk to someone, the thing will happen.

Butch:

Has to. It’s a key thing.

The wand is so key. If you want to cheat yourself out of XP.

They better work this punishing me for being smart shit out in the sequel.

Feminina:

Oh, I’m sure it gets worse in the sequel. I read a review that said “brute force is the only way to succeed in DOS2. Clever play will result in, at best, lost XP, and at worst a random NPC appearing out of nowhere and smacking your character in the face with the declaration ‘no one likes a smartass’ before vanishing with half your loot.”

Just kidding. Probably.

Butch:

Even though you’re kidding, the idea of an NPC that smacks you in the face, says “No one likes a smartass” and takes your stuff kinda needs to happen in a game.

Feminina:

Someday, someone will take all our brilliant advice and finally make a perfect game. It’s going to be so awesome.

Except the inventory management system: that will still suck.

Butch:

Well, we don’t excel at that in real life, so we don’t have much to offer.

For example, I have no idea what’s in the bottom of the veggie drawer of my fridge. And I best not check.

I do know the contents of my liquor cabinet.

This speaks volumes.

Feminina:

No argument here!