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Puncherson_64LadyBrain_64

No spoilers

Butch:

Well, didn’t play. And this day playing is messing with our blog rhythm, our blrhythm, if you will. I’m used to either not playing, or starting something new first thing in the morning. I’m getting confused.

Of course, doesn’t help I was up all damn night with heartburn. I guess we’re at an age where we constantly have to tritrate all of our medicines in ways that minimize our maladies, or at least prioritize them.

I’m very tired. And I shouldn’t drink coffee cuz heartburn.

So no promises of rational discussion. Shit, I’m already using words like blrhythm.

Feminina:

Yeah, I gotta say, blrhythm is not the smoothest portmanteau I’ve ever heard. You must be tired. And day-playing is messing with your groove.

We gotta talk about something, though, or the existential despair for the state of the world will overwhelm me.

Butch:

Something. Something. 

Junior has charged into NOVA and the Science channel. We also have both gotten WAY too into Vegas Cakes, and a couple of food shows on Netflix. One is called “Lords and Ladles,” where three chefs go to Irish castles and cook dinners from various points in history, from the 17th century to the 19th.

It’s probably for the best you didn’t live back then. On one hand, castles. On the other hand, lots and lots and lots of meat.

That actually would make an interesting question for you: Would you give up vegetarianism to live in a castle? Assuming servants to maintain it and all.

We gotta talk on something. Been a while since we tagged something “food.”

Feminina:

Hmm…maybe if the castle could have its own super wholesome hippie commie free-range humanely raised meat sources (like an attached cattle range!), and its own sensitive, humane slaughterhouse. And if the meat was mainly for special occasions.

I do like a good castle. Especially if it has towers. And ESPECIALLY if it has servants to maintain it.

Butch:

Oh these have towers. And they raise animals!

But the one we watched last night: Just ONE of the dishes was a pie made with four baby chickens, four woodcocks, beef cheeks, calves tongue, oysters and….wait for it….sheep’s testicles.

Humane or no….I think even I would have to draw the line at…the last part of that.

My love of meat has limits.

So really, state of the world or no, take heart that no one has ever made you eat sheep’s testicles, and likely never will.

We must cling to the small victories.

Feminina:

I will take some comfort in that. It’s the small blessings, sometimes, that give us the courage to go on.

And yeah, humane goes some of the way, but does it overcome just plain gross? That is a whole other story.

Butch:

I do like oysters. That I’ll own.

God I’m tired.

Feminina:

Dude, Rocky Mountain oysters. I’m sure sheep’s testicles would be…edible. I mean, don’t knock it ’til you’ve tried it.

In my case, the one time I tried an oyster, I did not enjoy it, so I’m on firm ground knocking it.

Butch:

Dude, I mean the usual, sea creature oysters, which look totally appealing.

Do not remind me I am eating the whole thing. It’s different, ok?

IT’S FUCKING DIFFERENT!

Gotta say, the lobsters, rabbit and salmon the castle cooked up looked pretty great. As did the crawfish soup.

Like I said, lots of meat.

Feminina:

It’s probably much more boring on the days they do peasant food.

“And here we have…looks like black bread and some kind of porridge. There might be a dried gooseberry in it or something for flavor. Enjoy, folks.”

Butch:

I think in those cases there’s beef suet involved. They seem to like their suet.

Feminina:

Oh, yeah, suet! Mmm. That does ring a bell.

“When you can’t afford actual beef–try suet!”

Apparently that is “the hard white fat on the kidneys and loins of cattle, sheep, and other animals, used to make foods including puddings, pastry, and mincemeat.” (Says the Oxford English Dictionary.)

So, basically butter you don’t have to churn!
Yum.

Butch:

Yeah! Buttery! They use it in pastries and shit.

You can still get it! My mother puts it out for birds in the winter.

I have never seen sheep testicles for sale. And let’s all be happy about that.

Feminina:

And here we think of chickadees and sparrows as so mild-mannered and harmless. Don’t think they wouldn’t eat a cow if they could get one!

Butch:

Well, who wouldn’t? Besides you.

I think the world needs this discussion right now. I picked a good day to not sleep then overdose.

Feminina:

If the beef (or sheep or what-have-you) is humanely raised and slaughtered on my own castle grounds by my dedicated and well-compensated servants, I’ll totally have some suet.

Pardon ME for having higher standards than a chickadee.

Butch:

It’s just cuz I said “They use it in pastries.” You generally ask as many questions of pastry as I ask of oysters.

Feminina:

True. I do like my pastries.

But tell you what, if the sheep is humanely raised and slaughtered on my own castle grounds by my dedicated and well-compensated servants, I’ll totally have some testicle-and-oyster pie.

And there I have a reason to be glad I’ll never own a castle.

Butch:

It kinda sucks, cuz I always wanted a castle.

I can always skip the testicles. And the calves foot jelly. Which is really like jello more than jelly.

Not making that up, either.

Feminina:

Yeah, I’m familiar with calves foot jelly. I mean, not in the sense that I’ve eaten it, even back in the day. But in concept.

Probably those people would be just as disgusted by all the processed chicken nuggets and stuff that we eat.

“Forsooth, Bob, check out this vile slurry they call a ‘milk-shake’!”

Naw, that’s not true. They’d suck down a milkshake like the ambrosia that it is. But, say, a protein powder smoothie or something, THAT would repel them.

Butch:

I will say that the sweet cream and orange curd for dessert did look quite nice.

Feminina:

Yeah, see, they’d be fine with our milkshakes. Dessert is the great unifier.

“Give me something sweet and it’s all good.”

Butch:

Though what’s really weird is they served everything in the second course together. So, last night they brought out lobsters and rabbits and fuck knows what else with the orange curd.

Very odd.

Though, must admit, I am trying to eat more environmentally sound meat and fish. Beef has a lot to answer for. For father’s day, Mrs. McP bought me all this bison, venison and ostrich. And some sausages made of boar and elk, respectively. It’s quite good. At least the bison and venison. Haven’t had the ostrich.

No sheep testicles, though. Or tongues. Which is another nope.

Which is kind of odd that that’s a nope. Tongue is muscle, right? And steak and pot roast and burgers are muscle. So it’s not like tongue is ALL that different from steak. And yet, I will happily eat steak, and nope to tongue.

You have it so much simpler, being a vegetarian.

Until you come across durian.

Feminina:

Isn’t durian pretty simple, though? It sounds like you either like it, or you can’t stand to be in the same room with it. Not that complicated a decision.

I’m with you on tongue (although I have eaten it…long ago). It seems really gross, and yet, it’s a slab of solid muscle. Just like if you cut a slab of solid muscle off a cow’s leg or something. I mean, scrape off the taste buds, which give it an odd texture, and what’s the real problem?

I think it’s just too PERSONAL. It was in that cow’s HEAD, you know? A leg, a rib, a chunk of butt, whatever. Could be anyone’s. But the tongue, that was in the cow’s FACE, that was part of who that cow WAS. Maybe I want to eat cow, but I don’t necessarily want to eat THIS ONE SPECIFIC COW, and eating something’s face just feels like eating that one specific creature.

To me in my head right now, anyway.

Cheeks feel kind of gross to me too, and ears. (Eyes also, but they have a whole texture issue that makes them disgusting even aside from other reasons.)

I have no idea if this theory is generalizable, but that’s what I’ve got for why tongue is gross.

Alternatively, it’s all what you’re used to, and if you grew up eating tongue sandwiches everyday, you’d be totally fine with them. Or else hate them because you were tired of them, not because they were too reminiscent of one specific cow.

You should probably be wary of meat-theory from a vegetarian.

Butch:

I think you’re spot on.

At least when it comes to some flat out nasty meat.

The face and….I don’t know. Just…no. I’ve heard it’s very tasty. I’ll never know.

Ha, the one thing even the chefs on this show refused to do was eyeballs. They had this recipe from the 1600s (seriously! Kinda cool) and they had this bowl of eyeballs there, ready to go, and they just said “Uh….no.” So when Michelin star chefs are giving it the ol’ nope, then I can, too.

I’ll play tomorrow. Or not. Today was kinda fun.

Therapeutic. You’re welcome.

Feminina:

Those dudes just let a bowl of eyeballs go to waste?!

Good call, dudes. Good call.

Eyeballs are definitely among those things that people ate because they didn’t want to starve, and then made recipes for to convince themselves it was actually delicious.

I’m pretty sure the only way I could manage to consume an eyeball without throwing up is swallowing it whole very quickly. (So it definitely couldn’t be from some large-eyed creature.) And then following it with a shot of hard liquor.

And then I’d probably throw up anyway.

But seriously, that’s pretty much how people eat oysters, isn’t it? In one gulp? Perhaps minus the shot of liquor.

How different can an eyeball really be? They’re both slimy.

You’re probably missing out, man. They probably have a lovely, subtle flavor of…eyes.

Butch:

I think we best leave that there and move on to what will, undoubtedly be a much more intelligent day.

Or not.