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No real spoilers


Stupid caring family insisting on celebrating my birthday. Was fun, though. Mrs. McP got me a weekend at this “foodie” resort up in Vermont in October. Foliage, great food and….wait for it….


Best. Birthday. Ever.

But didn’t have time to play anything.

But tonight! And the weekend! Because Junior and Nugget are going to NYC with the grandparents until Monday! Gonna be so quiet. 

This is what it’s come to. They’re going to see Hamilton. Fucking HAMILTON. In New York! And me? I’m not all “Awww man! I wish I was going!” No. I’m all “Quiet time and games!!!!!!!”


We had lives once, right? In the time before children?

I’ll ponder.

Anyway, then I met Emmanuel. I like that this game, unlike so many games, unlike so many everythings, makes it clear that “black” is not a unified front. I liked Emmanuel as a character.

Which is why I’m very disappointed that I have no fucking idea where his boat is. He’s all “Everything you need is in the boat.” Oooookaaaaay. And the boat is…..? There’s no boat.

I’m the worst drug dealer ever.

So I gave up and just met Vito. Did you go to Vito or Burke? Cuz I just met Vito.


I feel like…maybe we did? I don’t know. It was so long ago. The memories are blurry.

Maybe we’ve always had children, and our fondest dreams have always been limited to quiet time and games.

I mean, we’ve definitely always been at war with Eastasia, so who knows?

That sounds like a pretty awesome birthday, though.


Yeah, you’re probably right. Why we play, really.

Today. They just left. Now must distract Meatball…..


Hey Meatball! Look over there! It’s a big pile of snacks and 5 hours of Dinotrux!

Or whatever he likes to watch. O’Jr. is currently into Clone Wars and some kind of How to Train Your Dragon-based series.


Good call!

How to Train your Dragon was pretty good.

Though Meaty’s being a tad clingy. He kept asking nana and poppa if he could go, too, and he can’t, so he’s sad.

Maybe five hours of Dinotrux will cheer him up….


It will cheer him up! How could it not?

It does suck to be left out, though. Poor Meaty. Next year!

For now, five hours of Dinotrux and some snacks.


He is kinda young to appreciate it. And it’s a lot of walking for his little legs.

He doesn’t even really get what he’s missing. It’s a vague concept. But he knows that a) his brothers are doing it and b) his brothers like it, ergo c) whatever the fuck it is HAS to be good.

Which, let’s face it, is a mental exercise that people keep doing until they’re way older than five.


Hey, I just did that calculation yesterday, and it was SOUND, man! Ha.

But yeah, even if it’s not actually something he’d enjoy, he obviously hates to be left out.


I’m placating him with the big gun: Build a Bear.

It’s come to that.


It’s come to that.

Well…if that’s what it takes, then let it be done. As long as you get some game time.

“They get Hamilton: You get a bear.”

Can’t argue with that.


Of course, now he’s being cute as hell with the bear. Kids. They do know what buttons to push.


All part of their cunning plan to make us not leave them outside to starve.


It’s really what tweens get wrong. They give up the cute and keep the annoying. Totally backwards logic.


That’s probably part of their cunning plan to MAKE us throw them out so they can learn to fend for themselves before we perish in an unfortunate spike-impalement incident.


Nice callback!

Had they not gone away this weekend, I’d be hoping for a spike accident.

MAN I want to go on this trip Mrs. McP got me. Like now.

No, not now. When the kids get back.


Oh, totally–no point going away while the kids are away! One must be strategic.


That one must.

Gonna feed Meaty, then send him off so I can play. This is getting silly.


You can’t spend all your time building bears, man! You need playtime too!


Darn tootin!

But he goes to bed right at six and won’t come out. It’s all good.


Oh, that’s golden. It’s gonna be great.


Gotta sorta kinda catch up to you.

I’ve already gone on notice that I’m spending my first days of all three in school all day walking five miles and playing games and that’s IT.


Walking 5 miles and playing games all day is a good day.

You can catch up! I took a break for a couple of nights to watch some of Matt Groening’s new show. (It’s OK so far, not amazing, but amusing.)

Go murder! And drive! And drive to the murders!