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Spoilers for plot points in Mafia 3


Woohoo I blew up the garbage dump!

I’m almost positive that is exactly how the EPA recommends disposing of hazardous waste.

I also murdered a lot of dudes, stole some gun-smuggling-related information, blew up some cases of guns or ammunition or something, and then died tragically trying to get to an informant. I swear the informant missions are the hardest things in this game. That running-off trick is the worst.


Ok, back. Sorry, I was off spending massive sums of money. Why? Because while I was ridding my house of bats, I busted up my sunglasses (ran them over, long story), and NOW my dryer caught fire. And my washer’s been breaking for months.

The bats were expensive, too.

I TOLD you not to let me buy a house.

Where were we?

Blowing up the dump was pretty good. The first time I did it, I failed to wipe out Kevin (I was being sneaky! I was proud of myself!) and then he got me when I had to run.

Good level.

Though, guess what? When you have to fight the boss man at the dump, Kevin’s all back. Blow it up? Who cares?

That’s one thing I don’t like about this game. Kevin’s always coming back. Use a level once, dudes.

Man, all the gun stuff I have to do is WAY the fuck down in the Bayou or way the fuck in the east in places I’ve never been. What gun stuff? I want to do gun stuff so I can clear this district.

DUDE I think I did the same damn informant! Was this in a garage really close to the street? With a backdoor, too? I did that last night and almost rage quit. That shit sucked. It was a garbage related informant, yes?

The real frustration, though, is another frustration I have with this game: The respawn site was WAY the fuck far away. Way up on that hill. So I had to drive and drive and drive each time. They gotta put respawn points a little closer. I wasted so much time driving, I figured I wasn’t gonna get shit done at all, so the game, I’m convinced, took pity on me and after about four drives (one of which ended before I even got there cuz I hit a police car), they plopped one of the dudes I had to interrogate for Vito right there. I SWEAR he wasn’t there the first four times. It was like the game was all “Ok, dude, we want you to do SOMETHING, so here’s a guy, all alone, you can do.” He was all alone! Thanks, game. Thank you. Cuz that drive was really getting annoying. I’m getting a little tired of Barclay.

But I got the informant, and he led to this bit with a whole lot of really dumb enforcers and a lot of money and now the boss is out. At the dump.

There’s a particular bug I got that I’ll be curious if you get.

Oh and something else to look forward to? The retaliation squads here drive garbage trucks. Do not get hit by a garbage truck.

Oh! That reminds me of a rant!

You know what this game lacks? Armor. Yes, tac vests are nice, but they don’t really scale. We’re fighting Kevins with more firepower, and, without scaling armor, it doesn’t really matter if you have extra health bars. I get hit once and I’m almost dead! Hardly seems fair. If Kevin gets any new guns then I’m screwed. I’ll spend all my money on tac vests. Why no armor? Or anything?



There’s a gun racket right there in Barclay Mills, co-existing with the garbage racket! It’s the thing you talk to Connie Demarco about, in the sort of trailer park-y place way up on top of the hill. Where people seem to be yelling angrily at each other all the time.

As I would if I had to get all the way up that hill every day only to live in a falling down shack.

Yeah, it’s true, some of those locations you can kind of tell they’re going to be the setting for a boss fight eventually, so it’s not really even worth killing everyone now because you’ll just have to kill them all again later.

Of course, if you kill them now you CAN get the money and Vargas prints sooner…

I was wondering if maybe the Tac vests are getting a little tougher even if they don’t make it obvious, because otherwise it does get unbalanced. But I’m not sure. Tac vests never last more than about 30 seconds for me anyway.

But it’s true, usually these kinds of games have armor, and we have very, very limited armor in this one. Which aesthetically makes sense because it’s awkward to be casually wandering around the streets in body armor (never mind how he manages to wander around with a long gun somehow concealed under his tight-fitting T shirt), but in combat, it does make you have to think carefully.

Basically, stealth is the only way to go.

Also, I refuse to be held responsible for your poor life decisions. You bought this house a long time ago, and it was your SECOND house to boot. If you can’t learn from your own horrible experience, what chance do I have?

I’m sorry about the bats, the burning dryer, and the broken washing machine, though. Being without laundry facilities in a house with multiple children is no joke.


I would be angry up there as well. Those are angry dudes.

But dude, I DID that, and now the only two gun icons on my map are REALLY far away. And they both look really hard! One even SAYS “better get a tac vest for this one.” And it’s WAY down in the bayou and the other is a place I’ve never been.

And sometimes you don’t have a choice! Like this. You had to blow up the dump to get everything else. Unless I missed something, you had to go in, kill Kevin, get a Vargas print, look around the office you’ll have later, and then leave KNOWING you’d be back.

What’s with that?

And stealth is the way to go, but it also makes a mistake in that punishing. “Oh shit you saw me and the screen is black and white and I’m dead.”

I’m all for careful. But Kevin is effectively killing me in on hit. Or getting close. That seems a tad much.

The washer I just spent a lot of money on is very nice, I’ll give it that. And high capacity, so that’s good. So it’s a step up.

BUUUUUUUT because of a big sale (which made it less of a lot of money) their delivery crews are all busy, so I can’t get it for a week. A WEEK!

Good thing we still have a laundromat in town.


Hmm…maybe you already did the closer gun missions I’m still doing? Finding the map, or whatever? Because that’s as far as I’ve gotten. It’s entirely possible the next thing I have to do is way down in the bayou.

And yeah, it’s true…Kevin is lethal these days. I was creeping around last night and someone crept up on ME and got one shot in, and I barely survived by hitting the adrenaline shot and running for cover. Also true that it’s annoying how the respawn points are often so far away from the action.

“Well, I’m back here…should I drive all the way over there to try again, or just go do something else?”

Wow…a laundromat! That takes me back. But hey, way better than the alternative of having no clean clothes. Or washing them by hand in the bathtub. Either one.


Oh, right. The map. I did get the map. I’ve been in Barclay a while, to the exclusion of everything else.

I don’t know why Lincoln bothers with the maps. He’s likely all “I’ll bet it’s all in the bayou….” sneak sneak sneak kill run run run “Aaaaannnnnd….it’s all in the bayou. Surprise, surprise.”

YES! I HATE sneaky Kevin. “Hmmm…maybe if I HEY WHAT I’m dead.”

But I guess turn about is fair play. We’ve been killing unsuspecting Kevins for years. About time he picked up a thing or two from us.

Gotta do something with the laundry. It’s kinda amazing that my town, being my town, even still has a laundromat. One of the holdouts from old West Town. It’s right there next to the independent compounding pharmacy. For real. And, for a while, the last video rental store around. But that bit the dust and, like all things, became a nail salon.

Someday, the laundromat, too, will become a nail salon. Or a bank. Everything, eventually, does.


Ah, but you don’t know WHERE in the bayou without the map! You could wander around there annoying the alligators for years without some idea of where to go.

And by “some idea” I mean “precise turn-by-turn directions just like modern GPS except without the computer voice, which is possibly an improvement.”

Yeah, I have to give Kevin props for occasionally sneaking up on me. Last night one said “well hello there” in a sinister voice, and I was like “OK, that’s a good line. I’m going to run around and lose you behind these crates, and then I’m going to pop back out and use it right back at you.”


Oooo! Kevin’s trash talking? Bravo, Kevin. Bravo.

Not only is Lincoln’s GPS useful, and voiceless, I have GOT to get the feature on my phone that produces spectral road signs.


YES! Love the spectral road signs. Because really, that’s what I want when I’m driving and don’t know where I’m going. I don’t want to be told “turn left in…five…hundred…feet…” by some robot, I just want a big sign that points in the direction I need to go. Put there by some robot.

I guess that would be ‘augmented reality’? Can’t wait.


Those are the best. I especially love when I can change their mind.

“MAKE A FUCKING U TURN….oh….wait….yeah, that works, too. Just, you know, turn left. Sorry about that red sign, thing. I wasn’t mad. Honest.”


Yes! Sometimes I look at the map and think “why is it making me go around there? I’ll just drive through this narrow alley and knock over this gate,” and it gets all RED U-TURN and then says fine, go this way if you must, it’s all right I GUESS.

And then every once in a while I think “I’m not driving all that way, I’ll just swim across this channel and steal another car on the other side. It can recalculate the route from there.”

Useful travel tips!


Did I send you the screen shot of my sunken car? Followed immediately by “I need a new set of wheels in the hollow?”

That dude must be all “Man, AGAIN? That’s the 52nd car today….”


Ha! I don’t think so. But that’s pretty great.

I usually don’t ask the guy to bring me cars, I just wander around until I find something to steal. You never know what interesting ride you’ll wind up with that way!

I spent a fair while driving around in a little pink VW Beetle. I mean, the game’s version of that. Those things corner like nobody’s business. Good for quick getaways.


I use that guy all the time. But he has his revenge. Not once, NOT. ONCE. has he driven up with the car pointed the way I want to go.

“Here’s your fucking car. Good luck with that three point turn in the alley!”


Ha! That’s awesome.

“Screw you, man, making me come all the way out here.”

I often have kind of the opposite experience, where I’ll pull in and park randomly next to some building while I go in to talk to Burke or Donovan or whomever, and then when I come out someone has helpfully turned my car around so it’s actually in a parking space and/or pointing back out towards the road.

Thanks, mysterious valet parking stranger!


Well, I have the last laugh, cuz I’ve accidentally run the guy over a couple times.

Teach him to bring it to me backwards.

Or not. He hasn’t learned yet.


“[mutter mutter] break my leg will he, I’ll show him…next time I’ll drop the car off right in the middle of a crowd of Kevins…”


Or, better yet, dive out of it and let it roll.

“There’s your car. Go catch it.”


Ha! That would be so awesome.

“Enjoy! I have to start walking back to wherever it is I come from, so I won’t be here to run over when you come back this way!”


Slightly related, on rereading old posts, I find: “We can avoid car combat.” Ha. Very funny, past us.

But I DID find that Playboy that was surrounded by police! And….I actually used a marker to chill the cops out so I could grab it.

For…uh…the trophy.


Oh, nice! A marker! Brilliant! I forgot I had those.

When I finally went back for it I just took the “run and heal like hell, grab the thing, die but it doesn’t matter because I got the damn thing” approach.

The bad part was that I forgot to call what’s-her-name to come take my money first, so I lost $5000 on it. That’s an expensive Playboy.

But worth it! Because I am an obsessive collector and any price is fair if it fills a gap in my collection.


Totally. Worth. It.