Some minor spoilers for Shadow of the Tomb Raider plot and locations
Well, I guess if you’re gonna build a spinny trappy thing, go big or go home.
That was certainly a spinny trappy thing.
Have you noticed a weird quirk in the engineering of the ancient trappy builders? These dudes were working with ancient technology, right? And yet they managed to build these ridiculous contraptions that still function after centuries.
Except for that ONE bit. Like, one peg. They couldn’t get that one bit right.
It’s kinda like home ownership I guess. I’m sure when people came over to see the spinny trappy things they were all “Hey, thanks, yeah, it’s looking nice. But, you know, I haven’t had a guy out to fix that one peg…you know how it goes. Oh, and you probably don’t want to turn on the stove…..”
It’s hard to stay on top of every little peg on your giant spinny trap! They’re totally planning to get to that next long weekend, when there’s a little time, if the kids aren’t getting in the way. Probably already have the replacement peg somewhere around here.
Man, I hated that trap. I just couldn’t get the timing right…I completely lost track of how many times I jumped right into the spiked blades while trying to leap over the burning spikes, or whatever. No joke, when I finally finished my throat was scratchy from all the quiet but intense swearing. But hey, it’s over now.
And the crypt up above it, that was hardly annoying at all! The annoying thing I was left with was that I couldn’t figure out how to get over those walls to that whole western side of the map…seems like there’s GOT to be a way, but I couldn’t find it. Did you get back there?
Oh, and I never did shoot an albino capybara. I saw one, but it had scurried into the underbrush by the time I could aim at it, and I didn’t care enough to wait around for another one to show up. I just can’t get very interested in the hunting. I know it’s quick XP, but…meh.
Had time to fix it last weekend, but bought the wrong size peg at the hardware store, was going to return it but the kids got nuts, started throwing rocks at guards again, and I’m busy this weekend with the cultist potluck supper…..
It was annoying, that it was. And it had that extra nastiness of giving you the false sense of victory. “PHEW I did it! Wait, what? I have to do the OTHER SIDE TOO? Fuck.”
That’s the worst.
I did not get back to that extra part of the map. And I tried! I found this archivist’s map, and there’s documents that look like they should be RIGHT THERE but there’s cliffs and shit. Must be something that we’ll be able to access later.
I shot an albino capybara last night. It was for an outfit. Boots that help you heal in combat quicker. Figured that was worth a little hunting.
I also finished the outfit that resists projectile damage, but I haven’t been in a fight since then, so I have no idea if it makes any kind of difference.
I also collected the condor feathers, so I completed that challenge, but I don’t know why and I don’t know what they’re for.
At least once you were (finally) done with the first side, it let you reload starting with the second side when you died a few hundred more times. I would have totally flipped out if you had to do the entire thing in one go.
You know what was? Giant robot. Not a very sophisticated robot, but it was a rudimentary, ancient giant robot. And you know my feelings with regards to giant robots.
And another thing: I really, really hate R3-to-sprint. It’s HARD. It makes my thumb physically hurt after a while to be holding the damn thing down, and I’m always finding that oops, turns out I wasn’t pressing hard enough and now I got hit by the spinning blades because I was sauntering instead of sprinting the way I meant to. It’s really obnoxious. I get that they pretty much used all the triggers on other things, but dudes, give me a hold-trigger-to-sprint. Any trigger! PLEASE. I can hold trigger and sprint all day without getting thumb cramps or being run over by something I was trying to race only it turns out I wasn’t pressing R3 right.
I hate it. Thank you for your consideration.
Oh yeah…the ‘vestige’ outfits. I have two or three of those at this point but haven’t gotten around to actually fixing any of them. Should probably work on that. And shoot an albino capybara as long as I’m in the neighborhood.
I don’t think the condor feathers actually do anything, though–it was just a challenge in the sense of “do x number of this action, get XP.” Like shooting the frog totems from the houses or whatever. Or burning communist banners, back in the last one! Good times.
I took the skill that makes challenge objects glow with Survival Instincts, and I still haven’t completed half of them. One can only spend so much time searching the area for totems or feathers or communist banners.
Oh, dude, that would have been worse than having to redo the swingy thing, and I would’ve quit games over that.
Preach, sister. They do have that in swimming, the “hold L2 to swim faster.” But what I don’t get is why you need that. Why WOULDN’T I swim faster? I HATE swimming! How about you just make swimming faster? How about we don’t have swimming at all?
MONDAY IS RANT DAY!!!!
The outfits are kinda handy. Well, they sound handy. I’ll let you know how handy once I get into a fight wearing them. Faster healing? Protection from arrows and bullets? These are good things. Theoretically.
You probably need the feathers for a vestige outfit or something, because the first time I got one it said “rare resource,” and when I killed the capybara it said “rare hide,”and that was a thing I needed for an outfit. We shall see.
Dude, I didn’t even know about the totems.
I don’t have that skill.
Yeah, I feel like I’ve seen the hint “hold R2 to run” too, but it never seems to work for me. I try and I swear I just keep sauntering. Unless ‘run’ is different from ‘sprint’?
I don’t know, maybe I’m doing movement all wrong.
Are you not supposed to be hitting circle to dodge every two feet? Ha.
Yeah, faster healing and protection from projectiles DO sound nice. I could get into that. If I ever remembered to a) make the clothes and b) change into the appropriate outfit when it would be useful.
Right now I’m wearing a bunch of green feathers and a mask that I put on for story-related reasons a few evening ago and haven’t bothered to take off even though they provide no benefits whatsoever for exploring tombs. They do explain why I didn’t remember the guy saying anything about a rite of passage, though: that guy’s not talking to me, because I’m no longer wearing the queen’s blue outfit.
Mystery solved! And for once the answer isn’t just “I wasn’t paying attention when someone was talking.”
Please make a note of this day.
THIS IS TRULY A MIGHTY DAY!!!!!
Lemme guess: That outfit gets you past that guard where it says “need such and such an outfit” that I don’t yet have, right? An outfit that is apparently good enough to conceal the fact that you’re a slightly built British woman.
Guard: Qevin, you sound different….
Lara: Uh….watched Downton Abbey last night. Just….impersonating my favorite character!
Guard: Oh, love that show. Ok, carry on.
But I don’t know, man. I didn’t even really sprint to get back to the buttons. At first I thought “I should run like hell cuz it’s mentioning sprinting,” but every time I tried that I died, so I took the careful approach and voila.
Man, sprinting and giant robots all at once. This game hates you.
I tried dodging every two feet with the traps. That did not work.
Yup, that’s the outfit. It’s quite dashing, in a feathery, threatening way. You’re gonna love it.
‘Qevin’ is genius.
Well, the game went for cultural accuracy. I figured I should, too. Or something.
You know, on that……
This game took a lot of pride in, well, having some degree of cultural accuracy. The fact they did all the native languages is pretty cool. They hired cultural consultants and wildlife consultants and all sorts of shit. That said, I’m never sure how I feel about “cultural accuracy” when it means that all the brown people in the game end up wearing either loin clothes or feathery ceremonial garb. It is a tad striking that the hero of this game is a smartly dressed white woman who always has great hair and all the “accurate” people….aren’t.
And here’s the real thing: games/movies/whatever often will scream “BUT ACCURACY!” when all the brown people are portrayed as they are here, but when a game/movie/whatever by its own definition isn’t going to be totally accurate, then can we forgive it? Can you say “Well, true, the ancient Inca didn’t build spinny trappy things, but hey, we’re going with accurate garb cuz ACCURACY!”
I have, once or twice, found it off putting when Lara is talking to someone, and that someone doesn’t even stand up. The white woman towering over the brown NPC. It’s…..
Agreed, this is an interesting issue. Although I tend to have a slightly different take on those conversations…I always feels like “hey, Lara is so unimpressive to this person that they don’t even bother to get up.”
Or look up from what they’re doing, sometimes. “I’m working, lady. Take this conversation or leave it–I certainly can.”
So it could be “her towering over them/implied position of authority” or it could be “them not bothering to stand up/implied confidence and familiarity”. Which I suppose also implies disrespect, so then you have “these people are rude/unmannered/savage!”…but maybe better rude than subservient when it comes to a portrayal? Hm.
As for accuracy in clothing, that’s why you’re supposed to be wearing feathery vestiges, dude. You wouldn’t notice the contrast so much if you were dressed to blend in. Ha.
Do not bait me into saying something about Lara wearing stuff that skimpy for that would certainly be inappropriate.
Hey, I’m wearing feathers and woven bike shorts and a toothy gold mask RIGHT NOW (in the game…not, you know, at work in the library, although that would be pretty great even if chilly), and I’m perfectly decent. Even the local women have sort of woven sleeveless tank things on, which judging by National Geographic stories on ‘primitive tribes’ is perhaps not entirely accurate.
So however much I hate R3 running (a lot) I will say this for the game: minimal gratuitous sexualization of female characters. Nice work, Crystal Dynamics!
Or whoever’s responsible…I always lose track of which of the several companies involved is the primary author.
Yeah, but those dudes in the thongs…..
I think this is Eidos Montreal. I think the fact that CD didn’t do it was a big deal. I think. Who knows?
Probably. I think? Who knows.
But yeah, those thongs…it’s ALMOST male nudity, but…alas…
Alas, indeed. On any number of levels.
I’m not sure there’s a level on which it is NOT tragic, really.
Too bad it’s not Friday. This is Friday-quality discourse.
We’re warming up. Just practicing. Watch out, internet. It’s going to be a long week.
Yeah! Brilliant derailments like ours don’t just HAPPEN. This is SKILL at work, internet.
Frankly, I think was a testament to our restraint and erudition that we refrained from going there on the dudes in thongs until this point in our discourse.