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Not really any spoilers because we started talking about cake instead


Played, but should’ve played more, what with Nugget’s bday today and all. Mrs. McP came home early, etc.

Found, purely by accident, a legendary coyote. I was magpieing up by an abandoned mill that looked cool, couldn’t figure out anything to do with it, there was nothing there, and then it was all “You’re in legendary animal territory” so I figured what the hell.

Went back, made two, count ’em, two talismen (gonna coin it!), one of which is actually kinda useful (it makes eagle eye or dead eye or whatever the fuck it’s called last five seconds longer). Looked for the trapper (the pelts can be used to get cool gear like this bandolier I have that gives me a higher ammo capacity) but he was over by Strawberry and fuck that.

Tried to ride back to camp, got jumped twice, took forever. Finally got there, Mrs. McP came home.

One of those sessions that isn’t frustratingly unproductive (two new perks!) but not a session that is all that blog worthy.

I sort of have this image of the guy who gave me the animal map feeling very misunderstood, like we’ll meet him again and he’ll be all “Dude….that was a TOURIST map. Why do you think it looked so touristy? You weren’t supposed to shoot them, dumbass.”

Poor coyote.


Yeah, seriously! He’s all, “wait, you KILLED all those animals? YOU MONSTER! They were the rarest specimens of their kind! I was going to retire after taking city slickers on safari to see them for a few years!”

Perks, eh? Still can’t be bothered. Plus, uh…don’t want to mess up that dude’s retirement plans…


Older ones also had a random hour off school (why does that one hour in the morning feel like twelve?) and Meaty is home, which made Nugget melt down (“HOW COME HE GETS TO STAY HOME ON MY BIRTHDAY AND I DON’T?????”). Good times, good times.

I wouldn’t have been bothered had I not fallen ass backwards into it. I didn’t go looking for it, but, you know, once you’re there, might as well. It’s the magpie way.

Too bad about that robbery. It was interesting.

You still don’t have the pump action shotgun, do you? Cuz man, that made it all worthwhile.


He’s not wrong, it’s manifestly unfair that his brother gets to stay home on his birthday. That’s a valuable lesson about the cruelty of life, kid. Remember it.


Dude should realize he’s lucky that he has a father that went to three stores in two towns to find him an ice cream cake, and that the LAST ONE at Bedford farms was the exact one he wanted.

Count your blessings, kid.


Ice cream cake is one of those blessings that should always be counted.

Now I want ice cream.


I confess: I did….celebrate finding the cake….with a cup of cashew turtle ice cream. Ahem.

Though….let us muse on ice cream cake.

I am the type that likes the ice cream cakes with actual cake in them. Like, a layer of cake, layer of ice cream. I also think that actual cake is a necessity in anything called a cake. This item I have gotten for Nugget, at his request, is one of those ice cream “cakes” that have no cake, and are effectively solid ice cream. This one is a layer of vanilla ice cream, a layer of chocolate ice cream, fudge sauce in between, frosted with a whip cream kind of deal and chocolate sprinkles. Now, all that sounds yummy, I concede. It’ll take good, Nugget will love it, and, yes, it sure does LOOK like a cake.

But I say that is not a cake. That is an ice cream sundae in the shape of a cake.

And yet so many people call that an ice cream cake.

I protest.


I feel like I should also celebrate your finding that cake with some ice cream! Because friends celebrate each others’ triumphs!

As for cake…well…maybe it’s using cake not in the dessert sense, but in the form sense. Like a cake of soap.

And I agree, without an actual cake layer it IS more like a cake-shaped sundae, but I will still eat it. I personally don’t mind a cake layer, if it’s not too thick. I want MOSTLY ice cream in my ice cream ‘cake.’ I’m not ashamed to admit it.


I’m with you. MOSTLY ice cream. But that cake layer does do something special.

I’m still gonna eat the cake shaped sundae. Bedford Farms is good, man.

Though there was a moment of panic: There’s this boutique ice cream shop in town (that’s really, REALLY good) and they make crazy good ice cream cakes (in the proper sense) and I go there yesterday to get one only to find “Closed for the next four days for renovations.”


I mean, how can you not get your kid a birthday cake?

(Though as an aside….the last time I was at the boutique store, where they make everything there, from scratch, they had Doritos ice cream. Seriously. Ice cream with Doritos in it. I had a taste spoon just to say I tried it. I can now say I tried it. Just so you know, it’s not worth knowing that awful taste exists just so you can say you tried it.)

(Needless to say, got sea salt caramel pretzel instead.)


I have tried cayenne pepper ice cream–with a chocolate base, not bad–and Worcestershire sauce ice cream–not great, but possibly better than Doritos. Pieces of Doritos? In the ice cream? That’s just wrong. At least Worcestershire sauce is, you know, a sauce. It blends in, and if properly mixed with other flavors, one could even conceive of it being…OK, maybe.


Some things should just be left alone.

Also, when you talk about a cake layer, do you mean that layer of crunchy bits one often gets between two flavors of ice cream (I suspect sometimes they’re crumbled cookies or something), or are you referring to a no-foolin’ CAKE such as would normally be eaten in slices with frosting? Because I’m honestly not sure I’ve ever even had an ice cream cake with a genuine CAKE in it. Usually it’s just those crumbly bits.


Agreed. But I couldn’t just leave it alone.

Such is the spirit of the magpie.

I do like pretzels in ice cream though.

Dude actual CAKE. I have no idea what those bits are, but they sure as shit ain’t CAKE.


Where do you even find it with actual CAKE? Now I am intrigued. I must have it.


Dude. DUDE.


Where you BEEN man?


Cold Stone? Really? I was underwhelmed by their ice cream the couple of times I had it, so I never thought to try it in a cake. I suppose everyone’s great at something.

We usually get ice cream cakes from this place in Wakefield, or else the in-laws like to get Carvel, which I find unexceptional, but also unobjectionable. They both employ the ‘chocolate crunchies’ layer.

I mean, it is at least ice cream. You can’t go completely wrong.

As long as it doesn’t have Doritos.


Dude, that was merely an exemplar. I agree Coldstone can be a tad mass produced. One can do better.

Hold on…..





I could go on.



Somebody stop me!


OK, yeah, I would eat all of those cakes.

And I do mean the entire cakes.


What’d I tell you?

Jeez. Even implying that crunchies are CAKE.


I stand corrected. Although just to be sure I fully appreciate the difference, I will probably have to eat six or seven of those cakes.


Here’s where I point out you guys don’t come over nearly enough, and you whole heartily agree.

Cuz those aren’t that hard to make….


They aren’t?

We’ll be over tomorrow.

But it’s true, we don’t! When was the last time, even? You came over to our house one time…I don’t know if we’ve been back since.

We are all too damn busy.


We have been. We so very much have.

We did see your house! It was still warm enough for shorts and margaritas, so it’s been too damn long.

We should fix that. After birthday season ends.



And before our birthday season begins. Otherwise, it’s shorts and margaritas weather again. Not that there’s anything wrong with shorts and margaritas. Quite the contrary.


Hey, at least your birthday season is easier, as you can just throw something with crunchies in it at your kids and move on. There’s none of this coordinating with other parents of ridiculously busy kids to find a time they can all go to a movie nonsense. The email string I have going with four other parents trying find a time when everyone can go out and grab pizza for Nugget’s birthday is practically a blog post, and that’s LOOOOONG man.

Plus, this knowing how to make great food thing is a double edged sword. My kids ask for cakes. Meatball asked for a cake that had a glaze and rum spiked creme anglais. When Nugget only wanted ice cream cake shaped sundae, the angels sang.

Half of my panic at the store being closed was “Oh no, my kid won’t get what he wants” and the other was “Oh no, I’ll have to make something!”

Enjoy these magical days when they’re satisfied with having a few kids over to wear paper hats while dining on Cookie Puss and Fudgie the Whale.


I will indeed cherish these days.

O’Jr. was totally psyched yesterday because he needed new underwear and I got the ones with Pokemon on them. I should have saved those for his birthday, while I still can.


Dude, NEVER give them ANYTHING in the four to six weeks before their birthdays. Those underwear were pure gold!

Cuz yeah, man, you’re also in that golden era where necessities can be presents. “Hey! Look! A toothbrush! It has spongebob on it!” Total joy. You try to pull that shit when they hit, what, about seven and they see right through it.


Siiiiiiigh. Wasted opportunity.

But the Pokemon toothbrush, now…he doesn’t have that yet.


Birthday’s a’coming!

Pair it with some pokemon toothpaste! He’ll think you’re the mother of the year!

Man, I miss those days.


Yes! That’s brilliant!

These are good days. Good, simple days, that must be seized to their full advantage.


They must. That they must.



But think of the trade offs! These simple days may be ending for you, but you are approaching the days of “hey you, watch your brothers, we’re going out”!

It will be a long time before I get there.


Yeah! That’s only what…three years away?



It’ll pass before you know it. At least it better–at this rate, that will be the next time we see each other.