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Puncherson_64LadyBrain_64

Some spoilers for early in AC: Odyssey

Butch:

This is going to take some getting used to.

This is not the game’s fault, that it’s going to take some getting used to.

We talked at length about how RDR2 was unusual in that it took its sweet time to do things (like END. Not where I was going, but couldn’t resist). Horse rides were slow. Fast travel was practically non existent. The game wanted you to do little bits and ponder. This is unusual in games. It is.

But I’ve been doing it so long that AC:O, being a normal game, feels overwhelming.

I see a question mark. I think “Oh, that must be, like, two three minutes away oh it’s right here. Next to that one wait, I didn’t mean to find that yet, what, I just found another one?”

I see a quest. “I’ll amble over to that and do it and what I just triggered another oh ok, and wait, what quest did I just complete and where am I?”

I see a quest that says level two. I think “I’ll never be level two! That’s, like, three playing sessions away!” Ten minutes later (seriously), I’m level THREE.

This shit moves QUICKLY.

I’m used to saying “I got nothing,” but man, I gotta adjust the speed at which I process shit or I’m gonna be all “I got too much!”

What did I do? Let’s see:

Found the girl on the beach. Learned to whistle. I missed whistling. Got the first cutscene where her dad is teaching her to fight. Nice, rich, happy family. Ok. Went to town. Got a request to find wolf pelts. Magpied. Jumped into a cave. Said “Shit, I’m going to get lost.” Got lost. Learned to swim cuz I had to. Fucking swimming. Found a spear that said “quest item.” Got out of the cave. Wolves found me, so completed that quest. Found the guy’s shop. Didn’t take his money, learned about the cyclops. Found a temple of Zeus. Priestess was all “Mumbo Jumbo Gods Wish I Had this Spear Mumbo Jumbo.” I said “This spear I found when I was magpieing, getting lost and swearing about swimming?” She said “Hey, yeah!” (That’s what got me level three). Engraved some stuff cuz I could. Got the second cutscene where young Kassandra is being chased, there’s a boat, she meets Markos (Anyone else think that a grown man finding a young girl and being all “I do something for you, you do something for me?” is a tad creepy?). Had a grumpy woman make me a bow. Called it a day.

This took me about forty five, fifty minutes of real time, or, about how long it took to ride from Strawberry to Rhodes.

I mean, where to start?

Feminina:

Yes, the pacing is a LOT different. It will take some getting used to. It’s going to be great if you don’t have a lot of time but just want to get a little game in.

“I played for 15 minutes and completed 5 quests!”

We’re also going to have to get used to not doing things in exactly the same order, because of magpie. I talked to the priestess about the spear, but I haven’t been to the caves yet. I picked up the quest about the wolf hides, got some wolf hides, and need to go back and deliver them. Then I talked to some people who want me to recover some treasure from the sunken Isle of Zeus, which is guarded by sharks.

I said, “oh, you mean the Isle of Zeus I briefly explored before I got killed by sharks? Huh. I’ll be sure to wander back sometime.”

I wandered around a creepy burned village. I think I’m still only level two. You’re ahead of me!

The levels will probably take longer once we get higher, although who knows.

Butch:

Yes! Such a sense of accomplishment! Or it would be if I knew what the fuck it was I did!

Oh, shit. Sorry. Well, it wasn’t that big of a deal. Spoiler: The spear is where she said it was. Another spoiler: the wolf guy gives you money.

Sharks. Noted.

Whoa, missed that burned village!

So where are you in terms of flashbacks? You must’ve gotten at least one, cuz you freed the kid, right? I sorta assumed you were ahead of me main story wise, but then, I forgot that you can magpie for weeks on end without doing an actual main quest.

I guess I can, too…..this is going to take some adjustment.

Maybe there will be more time between levels as we go. I think you have to actually make sure you complete the quests. Go give that guy his pelts! That was, like, 300 XP!

It really was just “Here’s your pelts, here’s your spear and BOOM! Level 3.”

Did you free the kid? Cuz I want to mention something but it occurs you might not have….

Feminina:

I did free the kid, yeah. And then got halfway back to Morkos before I magpied over to the other side of the island. I think I’m close to the spear cave now, so I’ll get on that.

I had to climb a giant naked statue so I could sync a viewpoint and see more question marks on the map! Duty calls. Also nudity.

Nudity calls. (Doesn’t have quite the same ring to it.)

I got the first flashback, where she’s training and then holding baby Alexios. I wonder whether if you play as Alexios you’re holding baby Kassandra, or whether Alexios gets a flashback involving big sister Kassandra? Did they do the same story but with the main character’s gender reversed, or are there actually stories specific to each one? We shall never know, unless we look it up.

Butch:

Oh, shit, sorry about the second cutscene. I’m not used to being ahead!!!!

Ok, so when you get that “bounty” on you (what’s it with games and bounties?) and it’s all “He’s level five” I was like “WHAT? I’m not going to be able to deal with that for WEEKS!” But now…I guess I’ll be fine. All good.

But, even with being able to deal with that….

This game has a lot going on, doesn’t it? Skills, gear, quests, side quests, other quests, mercenaries, bounties, horses….and we haven’t even gotten to sailing.

Maybe too much.

And yet, no mini map. Do you have a mini map? I could use a mini map.

Speak for yourself. I think “Nudity Calls” is a good T SHIRT!!!!

Oh, forgot about all that viewpoint stuff. Are there haystacks?

Ooops, again, sorry for the second cutscene reference. Catch up!

I won’t look it up, but I think whoever you’re playing is the big sibling and the other is the baby. After all, they sure had that baby bundled up good and tight! Couldn’t see its face!

Cuz you know how hard babies are to animate.

Feminina:

Babies! Impossible!

There is a lot going on, and they’re kind of introducing it all at once, which is a bit overwhelming. “OK, wait, bounty hunter after me, I should be upgrading my gear, quests, sidequests, horse-riding, question marks on every side…”

We’ll probably get the hang of it eventually.

So far I’ve just avoided the bounty hunter–it’s nice it tells you exactly how far away he in and in which direction–but he’s only level 5 so I’ll probably be hunting him in an hour or so. And I don’t know about the haystacks! I was able to hide some bodies in the bushes, which is nice, but when I climbed to the top of the naked statue I couldn’t see any haystack or pile of leaves or anything to leap down into. The Leap of Faith from high things is such an AC staple I can’t imagine they’d leave it out, but I thought “I’m not just going to hurl myself off here if I’m not sure I can survive the landing,” and climbed down like a normal person. Well, a normal superhuman person who can clamber around on bare rock like a gecko.

Maybe they’ll introduce the piles of leaves later.

Butch:

Not only can she climb like a gecko, but she can do it in sandals!

There’s gotta be a jump down place. Having to climb down from each one of those things would be cumbersome as hell. What is this, RDR2?

Feminina:

Exactly my thoughts! This is a busy game and we’re busy people! We ain’t got time for that nonsense! There must be a way to jump.

But I wasn’t going to be the one looking like an idiot because I thought “it MUST be fine to just jump off here” and then wind up plummeting to the ground from the top of Zeus’ thunderbolt and desyncronizing abruptly and having to say “oops, my bad,” to my hipster assassin tech person, who’d be saying “you know what…let me just adjust these settings for you…let’s make it ‘easy.'”

Butch:

You know, you can hard save in this game. You can always just save, jump, reload if you’re wrong.

Feminina:

Oh, I know. I looked into that. You’re not going to burn me again, bad save habits! But even if I just reload…I’LL know. And the hipster assassin tech person will know.

And I ask you, if my tech person doesn’t think I’m cool, what the hell is even the point of any of this?!

I can’t risk it.

Butch:

Fair point. Lose your cool cred, then you won’t be able to get into all the good assassin whiskey bars, the ironic assassin vegan coffee bars…pretty soon you’ll be using off brand assassin blue tooth ear buds…it’s all downhill from there.

Feminina:

I can’t let that happen, man. I can’t play like that. I can’t. I won’t.

You do the test jump from a high place and let me know how it goes.

Butch:

Just as soon as I find the nudity.

Feminina:

Just glance around. It’s hard to miss.

Well, the statue itself is hard to miss. The fact that it’s naked could be overlooked from a distance.

Butch:

Things often don’t look naked from far away.

It’s early derailment-Friday.

Feminina:

That’s not quite a T SHIRT, but it’s certainly words of wisdom of some sort.

And given that it’s prematurely Friday, any sort of wisdom is more than we have any right to expect.

Butch:

But the worst?

I was very proud of myself the other day, as I finally got into the brambles behind my house that are being destroyed by wild rose (bad, invasive, evil stuff). Cut a whole bunch of shit down. Improved my view.

Today I’m all itchy. I was kinda peeved because I thought the mosquito people who are supposed to be mosquito proofing my yard with stuff that totally isn’t going to give me cancer and lead to a bee holocaust that will stave us all let mosquitos through, but no. They did fine.

There’s more than wild rose back there.

There’s a shit ton of poison ivy.

Fan. Fucking. Tastic.

Feminina:

Ooooof course. Of course there was poison ivy.

It lacked only that.

Butch:

I should’ve known. But I was so focused on the wild rose, which really is evil. This is how I noticed the poison ivy. I was out there admiring my handiwork, as chopping that shit down is hard, and noticed, on the ground, a vine…..

Nature, man. It’ll fuck you up.

Feminina:

Nature is not your friend. We all need to keep this in mind.