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Puncherson_64LadyBrain_64

Minor spoilers for minor side quests in AC: Odyssey

Butch:

I got nothing. You play?

Feminina:

I played, but I didn’t do anything but chase question marks and ostraka treasures. The usual. I’m all over the territory around Korinth, totally ignoring Athens and the main story.

Because I want to make sure you don’t get behind! I’m just looking out for you!

Butch:

Thanks, man. Magpieing for friendship. How did you even find Korinth, anyway?

Feminina:

Korinth is next to and across the bay from Megaris. I was out for a treasure-hunting swim and stumbled on it long ago, then stumbled back more recently while ostraka-hunting in Megaris.

Ooh, one exciting thing that happened last night was that I was at some location where I had to kill some bandits or something, and a bounty hunter was chasing me, and I managed to get the bandits and the bounty hunter fighting! That’s the best. The bounty hunter killed two of the guys I needed to kill (and I got credit for their deaths in the objective screen!), and was somewhat weakened in the battle so it was easier for me to kill him later.

Everyone wins! By which I mean, only I win.

Butch:

Oh right….that’s way over there, though. So much travelling….how do you keep it all straight?

Are you killing EVERY bandit and shit?

Nicely done! Mercenary credit is great. When I did the weird love potion quest, I managed to lure not one but two boars into the pirate camp. That was pretty great. Go get ’em, boars!

I am more than happy to delegate my murdering to others.

T SHIRT!!!! (Or not….)

Feminina:

I ran into so many boars last night. Angry boars. Once I got into a conversation with someone about a random timed quest (“all the sharks must die”) and when the conversation screen cut out, there was a boar standing right behind me, apparently just waiting patiently for me to be done talking so it could attack. Which it immediately did.

Then another time I was looking through my inventory, closed the inventory screen and there was a boar, waiting patiently for me to be done sorting my stuff so it could attack. Which it immediately did.

It was pretty funny, but boars are bad news. Watch out for them when you get to Korinthia.

Butch:

HA! Like my kids!

“You done? You done? You done? How about now? How about now? How about now? Now? Ok. AHAHAHAHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAHHH I’M SO MAD LET’S FIGHT!”

Feminina:

Yes! Boars are much like kids. Angry and frequently lethal.

Butch:

OK! Played! Badly.

Tried to help out a little girl who was building friends out of clay. Was nice to her. Kassandra was all “I couldn’t break her heart, even if it wasn’t good for her.” Thought “That’s a hint. She’ll get killed. Better go do the helpful thing.” Reloaded. Told her to make real friends. She got mad. I feel bad. I was probably right the first time.

But here’s the thing: The whole time, I was thinking “This is gonna be bad, man. Bad. Her ‘friends’ are likely pirates who are gonna attack me. This is bait. This sucks.” And I was wrong!

Interesting juxtaposition of quests on this island, the idea of gathering stuff to make fake love (and it ending poorly) and the idea of gathering stuff to make “fake” friends. I use quotes, as, if you give her the jewels, she is all happy. You say “friends come in all forms.”

Still not sure if I should’ve reloaded. I WANT her to be happy, but….

GAH! As a parent, this is too damn complicated!

Great quest, though. Anything that makes you reload, then think “Should I have reloaded? WHAT IS RIGHT?” is a good quest. Bravo, game.

Then got back on the boat to sail back towards Athens. Didn’t fast travel cuz cultists were in between. Found the volcano. Synced the viewpoint. Dove, and, all of a sudden was in the “depths of the forge.” “This looks important,” thought I. “I will likely have to come back here,” thought I. “I have to get the kids soon, so fuck this,” thought I.

So, fast traveled back to the boat. Now I’m by a dock of a new place….cradle of medicine or some shit. A town. You been there? Or should I drift towards someplace you’ve done more?

Feminina:

Ah, the girl with the clay friends! Yes. I also tried being stern with her, all “you have to make real friends!” and she rightly pointed out that that’s easy for me to say, I don’t know her life. People shun her and are mean to her and what do I know about that?Good point, girl.

Nevertheless, I don’t reload choices unless I die, even though the game encourages it, so I shrugged and walked off leaving her sad with her clay friends. And not even the shiny stones I gathered for her, since I threw them into the lake! I thought that was a bit excessive.

Kassandra’s kind of mean. But then, she is a hired killer who was thrown off a cliff as a child by the man she thought was her father. She’s not entirely without embittering experiences of life.

That’s pretty much exactly what I did in the volcano. Synced the viewpoint, dove into the water, came up, had some location objectives, and thought “it’s late, I’ll come back later.”

Haven’t been back yet. Went to Korinth instead.

Go to Korinth. There’s a badass Medusa carving there.

Butch:

So you didn’t do Andros or wherever the fuck is right by the volcano? How did you resist?

Nah, the game said “I couldn’t break her heart….even if it would have helped her…” if you’re nice. That’s why I reloaded and did what you did. I think, if you were nice, it was all “HA! You thought being nice to a kid was all good? Well, she’s boar food now, dumbass.”

But yeah, Kassandra, let her keep the stones.

Why was the kid called a “cursed girl?” That gave me pause.

Did you expect a fight? I sure did.

All the way back to Corinth? You didn’t do anything by the volcano?

Feminina:

I resisted! Amazingly! I stopped at the volcano on my way TO dropping off the guy we helped escape from Athens, not after I was done, so I was in the middle of something, and I was half afraid that if we waited too long the guy would swim off and we’d have to go back to Athens for him or something, so that helped my willpower. I just wanted to finish that guy’s quest!

And since then, I’ve been so busy hunting ostraka…I’ve done all but one of the ones in my inventory now. I feel so accomplished. And ready to get back to the volcano.

Butch:

Ah, ok. That makes sense. I’ll head to Korinth!

And I’m not coming back to this place until the plot of the game (remember that?) makes me, which it no doubt will.

Feminina:

I vaguely remember that? And it probably will. At some point. After we’ve exhausted all the treasure hunts.

Butch:

Plot. Story. Narrative. Those things you play games FOR.

Feminina:

Well, that and climbing things. And stealthy murder.

Butch:

Fair point. Fair point.

There’s just something about AC that makes you particularly resistant to story, though.

Feminina:

If this is true, I blame the multiplicity of question marks, but I’m rather doubtful it’s true. How much time did we spend magpieing around ignoring the main story in Skyrim? Or Fallout 4? Or FONV? Or DAI?

We ALWAYS ignore the main story for weeks at a time. It’s a hazard of the art form.

Butch:

There wasn’t much main story to do in Skyrim or FO4, though, so we’re ok on that front.

Feminina:

Bethesda tends to be like that. But man, they pack some stories into the sidequests.