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Spoilers for the end of the Monger quest in AC: Odyssey

Butch:

Killed the Monger. Have thoughts. A gripe, really.

The whole “unmask then track down cultists” thing is stupid. Really, really stupid. The “clues” are silly, and now, half the time, the “clue” is just “I’ll TELL YOU WHO I AM!”

This is silly.

It really does seem like the whole thing is a remnant from a first draft of the game. It reads like something that was going to be the game, a “find clues, hunt them down” game, and then, at some point, they decided that they would make things more RPGish. As it is now, it just plain doesn’t fit. Sure, it gives Kassandra some motivation to do the overall plot, but the whole mechanic of “clues” (in quotes, as these “clues” don’t lead to any mystery or discovery) and “unmasking” is just busy work.

Worse, when they have to go “Uhh…shit….gotta let the player know this guy’s a cultist…” it makes no narrative sense. Ok, Monger’s a cultist. Fine. But they couldn’t let a “clue” be part of the game because a magpie would’ve found it and gone after the Monger at some earlier time and fucked it all up. The only way that the Monger could a) be a cultist and b) die at that point in the narrative would be the way they did it: “I AM A CULTIST!” The fact they’re doing that so often is making the whole cult thing make even less sense than it did in the first place. Kassandra is supposed to be all “WHOA. There’s a CULT? A SECRET CULT? No. Way. Who knew? And they’re everywhere? Controlling us? This is MESSED UP.” Right? That’s kinda the point of a SECRET CULT. And yet, here’s the Monger, standing in a theater in front of all of Korinth (or, like, the ten people Ubisoft could animate without crashing the system….kinda wimpy attendance, there) screaming “I should have taken her head to the CULT! The SECRET CULT! Power to KOSMOS, leader of the VERY SECRET CULT that you, Eagle Bearer, never heard of because it’s SO FUCKING SECRET! Right, spectators?”

Villain exposition is bad enough, but when it happens about something secret ON STAGE IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE CITY it’s just too damn much.

Ah, well. He’s dead now.

Feminina:

I’m home today because I had to drop people off at places. So I’m going to play later.

The Monger! Yes, at least he’s dead. My amusing story about that is, I had a couple of bounty hunters chasing me when I went to face him, and the first time we fought he defeated me, so I respawned and ran up the side of the building there to shoot at him, and while I was shooting, a level-40 bounty hunter came riding up and started fighting with him! Killed him and his men for me while I lurked up there on the building! And then, so as not to risk losing this precious gift, I paid off my bounties and lurked until the guy lost interest and rode off.

It was a lot easier than I thought that fight would be, that’s for sure.

Every once in a while, bounty hunters come in handy.

But yeah, the whole “just so you know I’M IN A CULT” reveal was entertaining the first time, and I’m not going to turn it down this time, obviously (I need that shard!), but…meh.

Butch:

Of course you’re gonna play.

I’m going to get the car worked on. Sigh. But I’ll be ALONE! so that’s good.

Dude, that’s pretty awesome about the bounty hunters (if cheap). My thing was that I got followed to it, had to kill a guy, and then “become anonymous” but the broom brigade was chasing me. I was gonna kill everyone until I noticed that one of the broom Kevins was an impact quest giver! Seriously! I couldn’t kill a quest giver! So I ran like hell, found a place to hide, and this swarm of citizens is getting closer and closer….and then poof. I stayed out of sight long enough for them to chill, and they ALL ran, I mean, RAN back to their little NPC places. Maybe, ten of them. Like, “Oh SHIT I belong in that three foot square box someone’s gonna take my box if I don’t get back and I left the oven on and I’m out.”

Entertaining vs. cheesy aside….do people in cults call them cults? Cuz if you’re in a cult, you don’t believe it’s a cult, or something….right? I don’t know. It’s very meta.

Feminina:

Ha! “Oh man gotta get back to my territory someone else is totally going to grab it…”

I do feel like “cult” is kind of the judgmental way that non-believers describe a compelling belief system. So yeah…WOULD they call it a cult?

But maybe they’re trying to OWN the whole concept, like “we know everyone’s going to say this is just a cult, so fine, we’re the CULT OF KOSMOS baby!”

I dropped that lady off in Mykonos, and then obviously ran into a new, complicated quest that I should take care of. I’m on it.

Butch:

And…..I’m finally back with the car.

Sigh.

Even when I have time I don’t have time.

Epic T SHIRT!!!!!

Feminina:

At least you have a car so you can go pick up the kids again in about 20 minutes! Because you have missed them so.

It’s that lazy post-lunch, quiet time when I kind of want to take a nap. But first I would have to put the freshly laundered sheets back on the bed. Siiiiigh.

Butch:

Grumble.

I am going to go do FITNESS! Which also isn’t games. Or napping.

Twenty minutes. Sheesh. I have a good two hours, here. No rush.

Feminina:

Yeah, but once you’re done with FITNESS…sorry. Not trying to drag you down.

Butch:

I…..didn’t play. Started cooking my fancy late birthday dinner ahead of time. But it’s game related!

Junior got me the Vault Dweller’s Fallout cookbook. Tonight I’m making baked bloatfly. Seriously.

Actually, it’s vegetarian meatloaf, which, when you think about it, is also an unnatural mutant creation.

And I’m making Ossimir venison from the Elder Scrolls cookbook on date night Friday. Seriously.

This weekend? Brahmin burgers with nuka cola barbecue sauce.

Seriously.

GOD we’re geeks.

But we can take heart in knowing that we can now make Fancy Lads Snack Cakes!

Seriously.

Feminina:

OHMYGOD I need Fancy Lad Snack Cakes!!!!!!!!

That’s awesome.

Man, we’re geeks.

Butch:

We sure are. We sure are.

They actually look damn tasty. I thought the book would be kinda jokey, like, blamco mac and cheese would be, like, “Get a box of mac and cheese….” but it’s, like, real, homemade, gourmet mac and cheese.

They even have cocktails called Rad Away, Psycho and Stimpak.

It’s kinda sorta amazing.

Feminina:

I feel that’s really not in the true spirit of Blam-Co, but I suppose it’s probably a lot more likely to be something one would actually eat.

I wonder if I know anyone who might enjoy receiving that book as a gift…

Butch:

You just want the person you’re thinking of to make you snack cakes.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Feminina:

That would be a totally unforeseeable side effect!

Maybe I’d make the snack cakes myself, as a friendly gesture.