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Puncherson_64LadyBrain_64

Some spoilers for mythical monster quests in AC: Odyssey

Butch:

Well, I can tell you a little about the Minotaur. I can tell you it’s hard as fuck. VERY hard. Well, not for you, but for me. And I’m mad. Not annoyed, mad.

See, I’m level 38 at the moment. This should be ok. Why? Messara, on the map, is all 34-36. This would seem to indicate that the overall challenge is for those levels, and I am higher than these levels. Indeed, Messara had been easy peasy. I was cruising. Kevin had no chance.

When I got the three pre-Minotaur chores…uh….quests, they were all level 34! No problem! All good!

So I got the thing from the fort (seriously), rescued the dude from the other dudes (sigh….), and killed the town baddie who turned out to be a cultist (I feel like I’ve done this before) and got the doohickey I needed to get into the labyrinth. Huzzah!

I open the door to the labyrinth. The “go get the Minotaur” quest pops, and, in big red letters: Your target is two levels above you.

What. The. Fuck.

What game sets you off on a quest line at level 34, in a level 34 place, and winds you up with a level 40 boss? That’s a bunch of bullshit.

I was so mad. I decided “Fuck this. I came all this way, I’m gonna fight the thing anyway. What difference could two levels make?”

Quite a difference, it seems. I even turned it to easy. Couldn’t kill it. Couldn’t come close.

Now…..I think I have reason to be pissed off here. I don’t THINK this is an instance of “You have to go kill Kevin to level up to proceed.” We talked about that, and how angry I’d be. I don’t think it’s that, and more on that in a second. But game. Do not plop a level 40 thing in the middle of level 34 things, ESPECIALLY when all the quests leading up to it are level 34. “Here’s this whole quest line! You worked so hard! Now fuck off for a couple levels before you can finish!”

GAH!

So I decided I had to do something, so sank a cultist boat and went to see mother dearest.

Spoiler: When you get there, there’s a big ass plot dump.

And more quests.

Sigh.

Feminina:

Oh, damn. Ouch. That is quite cruel. It didn’t happen to me, because I’m higher than level 40 (I’m sure it will be whatever level I am when I get to it), but that is pretty mean.

I was so dedicated! I had some question marks left on Lesbos, but I ignored them in favor of sailing to Messara. That is how much I care for you and value your sanity. Although maybe to preserve your sanity you should be puttering around some question marks on Lesbos.

Anyway, I took the kid’s fleecing tour, talked to the guy who apparently runs the Minotaur challenges, and did the first couple of pre-trials.

And dude, cruel though it be, this is definitely the funniest island yet.

“The Minotaur’s only weakness is stabbing. Especially with sharp objects.”

“Are you ready for honor and glory? Are you ready for CERTAIN DEATH?”
“I’m ready for two thirds of that.”

“The Prize of Pephka is drachmae looted from the dead?”
“Well, many of those drachmae go to support the orphaned children of defeated challengers!”

“The Trial of Accurately Finding My Sons has been completed!”

(I completed the Trial of Accurately Finding the Sons even though two bounty hunters were stalking me at the time and I had to pause to murder them both in the tall grass. I love fields of tall grass!)

Anyway, I still have to do one trial and apparently rescue a dude from a fort before I can face the Minotaur, and I have not talked to mom, so you’re ahead of me. But now you may know: did mom tell you you have to complete dad’s quests, or could you just skip them and move on with the main story if you want?

Butch:

AH! We diverge! I shall say nothing. I was hoping you’d do this. Curious to see how it ends for you.

As I did none of that. Indeed, never even been to Pephka.

Because of COURSE I miss the funny bits.

What was the trial of accurately finding his sons?

Mom hasn’t mentioned dad much at all, but then the next thing I have to do is “talk to her” again. When I asked her about Pythagoras, and said “he would’ve been older than 100…” she just said “He looked young for his age.”

Awkward.

I’ll let you know when I talk to her. Oh! And met that dude who saved us from the burning warehouse again! He’s chilling with mom! I knew he’d be back.

Feminina:

Wait…are we even in the same place? Isn’t Pephka where you have to go to face the Minotaur? That’s where I came to face the Minotaur.

There aren’t TWO minotaurs in this game, surely. Or maybe there are. Oh…it looks like Messara and Pephka are two sides of the same physical island. Maybe we landed on opposite sides and thus took different routes to the combat?

Because I landed at the first port I came to (I was being pursued by a bunch of ships including one with a cultist that I kind of wanted to defeat, but I was taking heavy damage and on the verge of desynchronization, so I fled to the nearest harbor), wandered 10 feet off the ship and met a kid who offered a tour, told me amusing nonsense, and then asked for 3000 drachmae or his big brothers would beat me up. That’s steep for an amusing nonsense tour, but I didn’t want to kill the kid’s family, so I just paid it.

The I wandered another 10 feet and talked to a guy who apparently controls who gets to fight the Minotaur. He assigned three ‘pre-trials’ to prove I’m cool enough to face the beast, and one of them was ‘The Trial of Accuracy’ which turned into ‘The Trial of Accurately Finding My Sons’ because the guy’s kids had run off.

I still have to do I think the Trial of Endurance, and then I can face the Minotaur, or not.

Pephka is also where the occasionally-mentioned Arena is located, and one of the cultists is apparently to be found there, so I might have to check that out as well. I’ve got a lot of cultists left.

Butch:

I’ve said too much. All I’ll say is I’m very curious as to what happens at the end of this particular quest line.

Very curious, indeed.

What were the trials? What did you have to do?

Feminina:

There was the Trial of Strength, where I was supposed to fight some guy but he said “you could just pay me to give you the token that says you passed,” and I thought “enh, 1500 drachmae, that’s cheap compared to a scam tour and I’m not worried about the fight but it would take up valuable time,” so I paid him.

Honestly, at this point if I could just walk up to military camps and say “I’ll pay you to loot the treasure and kill your captain for me” I would do it to save valuable time.

Then the Trial of Accuracy was supposed to be about shooting arrows, but turned into “find my missing sons.” Which was not difficult except for the two bounty hunters who were coincidentally trying to kill me at the time.

And the third trial involves swimming, according to the guy who assigned it, although I haven’t done it so it might turn out to be something else entirely.

So basically I’ve been totally cheating at all the tests so far, but hey, that still proves my worthiness to fight the Minotaur because cheating (or ‘creative tactics’) is an important strategy against a more-powerful opponent!

Butch:

I shall say no more. No more at all.

I’ll just be over here trying to LEVEL THE FUCK UP as quickly as I can.

Stupid levels and stupid stupid.

Feminina:

You could go to Lesbos and work on the pre-quests for Medusa. (Of course there are quests you must undertake before fighting her!) Might give you some levels and then you’ll be ready to go on that too.

Butch:

Dude, Lesbos is minimum level 44. If I can’t beat the minotaur, I ain’t touching medusa.

Maybe some main story will help. Though watch: it’ll be, like, nine XP for this, when killing salty bear would’ve gotten me 84754857. Cuz this game.

Feminina:

Oh, sorry. I guess I haven’t paid attention to levels in a while, because everything seems to be officially the same level as me. I suppose I’ve just gotten to the point that everything is scaled to me and I’m ‘allowed’ to tackle whatever I want.

So…yeah. Main story? Or Lost Tales of Greece? We still haven’t checked in on our old flame in wherever that was.

Although if you do a Lost Tale, I will be compelled to drop everything and do it too, because they’re usually interesting and I won’t want to have missed out.

Butch:

I’m too wimpy to even get to the lost tales of Greece yet!

But that’s cool. I’m right between the two main quests, so that’s probably what I’m on next. Connect with mater and all that.

Really, having that level forty shit just pop out of nowhere was just plain mean.

Feminina:

That was mean. And odd game design, because as you say, why have a whole island of stuff at the right level, and then throw that one thing at you? Why not just make the whole island off-limits if you don’t want them to defeat the thing that’s probably the main reason they’re there?

Weird. And cruel.

Butch:

Exactly! The three lead up chore quests were all 34! That would lead one to believe that the main boss wouldn’t be, you know, SIX LEVELS HIGHER!

Weird.

Shit, even the cultist I found was cake. The sea faring cultist off the waters of Messara was cake! And, in the middle of all of this, an impossible minotaur.

I don’t get it. And it maddens me.

Feminina:

Understandable. Completely understandable.

Seafaring cultist, you say? Cake, you say? I think I ran into that guy and he was not cake, but then, I also accidentally involved two other ships in the combat (why would you sail directly into the middle of a naval battle, I ask you?), so it was getting kind of messy. I must go back and try to find him on his own.

Butch:

Yeah! I killed the leader, found out the cultist was sailing around just east of Messara, took him out. I might have been fueled by rage. Rage makes things easier.

I’m down to the last sea faring cultist! Until the main one. Yay, me.

We’re going to be playing this forever and ever and ever, aren’t we?

Feminina:

Yup. Forever and ever and ever, until the last syllable of recorded time. It is our destiny.

Butch:

This is getting depressing.

Feminina:

It’s going to be great. We’re gonna love it.