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Puncherson_64LadyBrain_64

No spoilers

Butch:

I haven’t had time to do anything. Sick. 

Maybe I’ll try to do FITNESS and watch another episode of the Witcher. THAT has nudity, unlike our blog lately. But Netflix nudity, which, while nudity, is still far less than HBO nudity.

I find I’m liking that show in spite of myself. Great art it is not, but MAN that dude is nailing Geralt.

I gotta finish my taxes and go to the store and then, hopefully, games. But I’m tired. Coughing all night.

Feminina:

I’m just impressed you’re finishing your taxes. We have all these stray reports for $6 dividend checks and stuff that invariably wander in late, so I don’t do them early, ever since the year I had to file an amended return to account for one of them.

Stupid dividends.

Butch:

The worst was when one mutual fund I have did something or other and I had this box on the form from Schwab that said “Interest from foreign bank account: $7.”

This confused the ever living fuck out of turbotax. Seven bucks in a mutual fund.

Turbotax would NOT let me submit my taxes unless I told turbo tax WHICH foreign country this seven dollars came from. There was no such information on the form. I spend forever trying to figure this out, without success. In the end, I had to say “Which is more likely to get me in trouble? Leaving out the seven bucks, or picking some benign country like Belgium or Sweden and saying it was from there?” I figured, my luck, that would be the year everyone used Sweden to launder money. So I left off the seven bucks. My shame.

Oh, the poor, harried nurse I talked to heard me cough and said “Hey, look. You sound like you have pneumonia, but we’re booked up for today AND tomorrow for Xrays. We’ll put you in for Friday. If you want, you can go to the ER, but we’ve heard there’s a several hour long wait there. If you spike a fever or [not making this up] can’t breathe, call back or go to the ER. See you Monday.”

So the sound medical advice I got was “If you can’t breathe, maybe call a doctor.”

So yeah, sick, can’t do anything about it until Friday. Or I could spend all day in the ER, surrounded by people who likely have the flu and catch that.

This kinda reminded me of this organic shit Mrs. McP made me put on the lawn once to get rid of grubs. It’s this spore you put down once and it grows in the soil and kills the grubs, but it’s spores, so it’s kinda dangerous. Had to wear a mask and gloves and shit. On the label, it had this long warning that included the line:

“If you stop breathing, stop using this product immediately and call 911.”

Yes, product, if I stop breathing, I’ll take a break from doing the lawn. You have my word.

Still not as good as the disclaimer on the PS4 controller that says “To be used with the hands only.”

Feminina:

“Can’t…breathe…but must…finish…lawncare….”

“Well, he’s dead, but the grass looks fantastic!”

Priorities.

Sucks that you have to wait for the doctor (unless you can’t breathe!) but that is certainly the better choice, over sitting all day in the ER catching the flu. Which you could then bring back to your entire family to extend their sickness.

Butch:

Grubs all “serves you right.”

And now I’m on hold because I’m this close to being finished with taxes and turbo tax is insisting I complete answers to a form I didn’t tell it to fill out.

I HAVE NO HOME EFFICIENCY IMPROVEMENTS! Don’t tell me I do!

Feminina:

MY HOME IS INEFFICIENT! DEAL WITH IT!

I love TurboTax, I would never go back to filling out the forms on paper, but also, it does drive one mad from time to time by insisting you consider things you don’t care about.

Butch:

I didn’t even click that box. It wants me to complete just section 17 of an otherwise blank form I never asked for.

And it’ll likely come for my seven foreign dollars from six years ago next.

Feminina:

TurboTax knows. TurboTax remembers six years ago.

TurboTax does not forgive.

Butch:

Turbotax will punish me eternally with glitchy bullshit.

It’s already planning next year.

“You think that home efficiency form glitch was annoying? Well, this year we’re gonna attach the MASSACHUSETTS FILM CREDIT form! You’ll need signatures from Emma Watson, Michael Bay and Humphrey Bogart and HE’S DEAD! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!”

Feminina:

GOOD LUCK, SUCKER! You should have just stayed on the lawn when you stopped breathing, like Humphrey Bogart.

Butch:

Goodness, I truly hope that is a NEW SENTENCE.

In Mrs. McP’s defense, that stuff did work wonders on the grubs. And Humphrey Bogart.