That was some of the best ice cream I’ve ever had. For real.
That was some of the best ice cream I’ve ever had. For real.
This place is a palace. Should’ve brought the ps4. Huge tv.
Remembered the booze.
Browsing the shops ON VACATION and found some items…
The pillow says “drinks well with others” and the mug says “I am silently correcting your grammar.” Thought of you.
I approve of both those messages.
I like challenge. [image of shark in the water]
Who doesn’t, on a relaxing vacation!
You and the readers will be thrilled to know I survived.
As is ideal on a relaxing vacation.
I also traveled!–into Boston, for an eye exam that was scheduled 6 months ago when we were so much younger and more innocent, and scheduling eye exams in August seemed like a totally reasonable thing to do.
Not a relaxing vacation.
She wanted to do a follow-up in another 6 months. “Is February 19th OK?”
I don’t know! Maybe? There’s no way to predict! But I don’t know for sure that it won’t be, so go ahead and schedule it, and we can always cancel later.
This is planning in the age of pandemic.
Dude I was like that before the pandemic. Six months? Whatever. I once took a kid in for a YEARLY physical and they were all “do you want to schedule next year’s now?” Like seriously?
Yeah sure. Can I cancel in eleven months and three weeks when I know what the fuck I’m doing?
I’m gonna go get booze. Then ice cream. You’d like this bit more than sharks.
I do love the booze and ice cream part.
Didn’t play. Too hot to play. Took a cold shower, hid in the air conditioning watching Mythbusters with Nugget. Went a got a donut with Meatball cuz the car was air conditioned. Bought a diet coke in a bottle for today cuz, Mrs. McP, I DON’T CARE! Took another cold shower. Watched baseball in the air conditioning with Nugget.
One does what one must.
You were smart to put the PS4 in a cooler part of your house. Mine is right there, upstairs, no AC. Stupid.
I did have a series of very vivid dreams last night. One of them was that I somehow got a PS5 today, and you didn’t believe me, and I couldn’t figure out how to send you pictures to prove it.
We’ve been blogging a long time. And it’s hot.
It is hot. Though better than yesterday.
I played a bit, but just enough to collect all the trophies. I usually don’t trophy hunt, but it was such an easy platinum, and that was about the level of mental energy I had available to spend on a game anyway.
Sigh. Here we go again. You finished even though I did kinda play. Except last night. I own my lack of playing last night.
It’s how we do. Somehow, it’s how we always do.
Even when Mr. O’ is playing something too!
Time has a lot of answer for.
We do have booze. Though I find I have less every night…….
How does that happen?!
It’s a mystery. I blame booze elves.
Better order some more, just to keep them happy.
We must appease the booze elves!
In all seriousness, now that I don’t buy bourbon for my dad (which I was never a huge fan of, really), I’ve kinda found sipping tequila, like, the good stuff, to be quite nice. I’ve also gotten behind the gin and tonic. Sometimes at the same time.
I’m still just drinking red wine. Occasionally white wine.
Anything I can taste the wine in, basically.
How classy. I save that for date night.
Me, I just bought another plastic bottle of tequila. On purpose, this time.
Fuck class. Yay alcohol.
Games. What are those?
I’m here planning a vacation. We’re a couple weeks away from Cape Cod, and fuck if I know the logistics. I’ve asked the loving family what they want to do, and here’s my guidance:
Mrs. McP: I like beaches.
Junior: Gutteral grunts.
Nugget: Fishing. (At least that’s an activity)
Meatball: I want to eat food. (Very specific, that).
And watch…..the very moment we get there, they will all want to do VERY SPECIFIC THINGS and be mad at me for not planning it.
Would it be possible to take them all to Cape Cod and then realize you forgot something important and hurry back to get it and then just leave them there for a week while you relax and play games?
Or go, pack nothing but the PS4 and booze, and forget to pack the family.
Either one of those options sounds VERY relaxing.
Place on the cape has air conditioning, so that’s a reason to go……It’s hot. I’m tired of hot.
And there’s a winery. An outdoor winery.
Say no more! You had me at winery.
So, definitely leave the family at home, then.
Or maybe just leave the kids, and you and Mrs. McP can enjoy the winery. They’ll probably only burn the house to the ground in your absence.
If I have the PS4 and the booze, then the house can burn.
“You had me at winery” is the most you thing you’ve ever said.
These strange times of quarantine and solitude and too much familiness can bring out the inner truth of a person’s soul.
They can. That they can.
Though, really, that particular truth in your soul wasn’t buried all that deep, now, was it?
No, I suppose it was not.
Some people are open books, some have strong defenses, some people, all you need to get to the core of their being is a corkscrew.
We must all be true to ourselves.
Ourselves are all we have. Especially when we run out of wine.
That’s when the long dark night of the soul truly begins…
Let’s hope it never comes to that.
At least as I sit here getting curbside pickup people are wearing masks.
You’d think more people would relish the opportunity to be masked superheroes. I know I do!
I just ordered a bunch more for the kids, because backups. They’re always misplacing the damn things.
Ain’t that a fact? We have them all over the place…..
I think we should go for fashion statements. You should get one that makes you look like, I don’t know, a supervillain, and I’ll get one that makes me look like Geralt. I already have the hair.
Sorceresses will swoon.
Mine will have a bottle of wine and the words MALE NUDITY NOW.
I don’t know if that’s what a supervillain would wear, but it expresses some of my deepest convictions in life and games.
I have seen pictures of ones that basically make a print of the bottom of your face, so you could get a print of the bottom of Geralt’s face instead. It looked kind of creepy in the ad (something about the photo-print juxtaposed with the actual top half of the face), but I’m sure it will be totally awesome with Geralt’s nose and chin.
I think if you wore wine and MALE NUDITY NOW everyone who knew you would just nod sagely.
“That’s our Femmy.”
Dude, that ain’t right, a print of your own face? No way that would look anything BUT creepy. Plus, how would you choose what emotion to have?
I saw some that were Mexican day of the dead skull prints. They were kinda cool. Not sure it’s my look, though.
Ooh, that is cool! Though, yeah, not necessarily my look.
Mine are mostly a selection of quiet floral prints or pastels. I got dinosaurs and stars and birds and stuff for the kids. Kids can get away with more dramatic cool stuff than grown-ups.
Did you see the game-related “Mask +5 of infection prevention” one? Or something like that. I liked it, but it was stupid expensive, so I’ve just been buying the boring floral prints.
HA! That’s awesome. Geeks will do anything, eventually.
Mine is just grey. Matches my hair. Sigh.
I just went and bought something at a store. INSIDE a store! Weird.
And they still do that “Amount OK? Hit the green button.” I don’t WANT to hit the fucking button. And then it’s “Do I touch the screen or pick up the stylus to touch the screen? Which is riskier?”
This is what it’s come to.
Well, installed it. Watched the trailer. That voice is going to take some getting used to. #NotMyChloe.
But then I got really tired and crashed. Time is catching up to me.
I’ll play today.
Yeah. I just had to figure it was a younger, less formed Chloe. She hadn’t found her later voice yet.
It’s not even close!
Stupid actors strike.
How dare those jerks want to get paid! Bastards.
Oh don’t be all like that. Not like you’re boycotting the game because of strike breakers.
It’s true, I am not. Not at all. That shame is mine.
Is it good? Chloe doesn’t have powers, so what’s the gimmick?
Chloe doesn’t have powers, and it doesn’t look as if powers will be featured in the story, but the gimmick is that she’s really good at arguing with people, so there are key moments where you can try to talk people into giving you something or letting you do something, and your success or failure is a critical part of the story development.
It’s kind of like the persuasion mechanic in the first Divinity, if you remember that.
Huh. So gameplay as moody teen.
We gotta stop playing games that hit close to home.
Also, teen argumentativeness as superpower! I think everyone can relate to that.
Only if she was the supervillain. Jeez.
I miss naked sorceresses.
I need wine. Tonight I’m going with the one with notes of cranberry sauce and white pepper, which is really boring. But alcoholic.
At least it’s white pepper and not boring ordinary black pepper. THAT would hardly be worth drinking.
Except for the alcohol.
After I drink it I’ll come up with something.
Notes of hobby horses, Ferris wheels and Matthew Broderick.
Ew…I’m down with everything except Matthew Broderick.
I mean, he’s all right, but I don’t know that I want to taste him (or anyone, really) in my booze.
There are so many jokes I can make here….but I won’t. Even Friday doesn’t go there, and this is only Tuesday.
We did it. Six years in, and we found the edges of the blog’s taste. I didn’t know it could be done.
Just dropped Meatball off for a masked, outdoor play date. He’s being very responsible.
Responsible Meatball and limits on our bad taste?
There’s no hope.
I can think of lots of people I wouldn’t mind tasting with my booze…..cuz I can think of a lot of sorceresses…..
There. I undoomed us.
That sudden gale wasn’t Hurricane Isaias, it was the relieved sighs of all our readers.
Yes…..that’s what it was……
The spirit of Derailment Friday abides. Even on Tuesday.
Because time has no meaning.
Well, I didn’t install Before the Storm. I will today. But we’ll have bloggage because my monthly ridiculous wine box comes today, so we can enjoy descriptions that will defy all logic.
I, for one, certainly hope I get one with notes of bagels, Neptune and nudity.
Time has no meaning.
I didn’t do anything because Mr. O’ was playing Division.
Today I am actually leaving the house and going into Boston for a work-related thing. It should be very exciting. I’m going to put on business casual clothing! Maybe earrings! I must find something that coordinates with my mask. It’s a whole new arena of barely presentable work apparel.
Anyway, if I’m not around I’ll be in Hyde Park. Outdoors. Six feet away from people. In a mask.
Whoa, earrings? I didn’t know you EVER wore earrings! Are you sure you used to wear earrings? That might be a hallucination.
I saw somewhere that there’s videos on youtube and instagram and shit that teach you how to do make up in a mask, like, how to accentuate the parts of your face people can actually see. Get on that.
Because you used to wear make up with your earrings. Ha.
I used to wear earrings a lot! I mean, every time I remembered to put them in. So…sometimes, OK?
Makeup, no, but it’s a brave new world. Better get on that. Accentuate the eyes and forehead!
One of the best things about masks–I mean, aside from infection prevention–is that nobody can tell if I’m smiling politely or snarling at them, or what. Good times.
I have found it’s difficult to recognize people in masks. You could get a work body double!
Well, I got one wine that’s “Wild strawberries covered in sand” and one that has notes of “Coppertone,” so basically this is like a dumped a shaken up beach bag in a wine glass.
And the white has notes of “Brand new balloons.” So key. Everyone knows you have brand new balloons with fin fish and day-old balloons with shellfish.
Oh, you know what true parenting is?
COLORED salt dough.
That’s parenting. Good thing you have a festive beach day in a wine bottle to cheer you up!
Nice out there. Hyde Park is lovely. Nice to be holed up home again.
Taking applications for the job of work body double.
Erica is available to download. Don’t forget before August. And don’t start without me.
Might not play tonight. Gotta get booze. Think I found rum in plastic.
Ooh! Unbreakable rum!
I will try to remember Erica. That did look interesting.
I may have also installed Before the Storm last night.
Oh shit! Right. That.
I’ll play tonight. This weekend has been too full of children.
Erica does look interesting, just based on the trailer. Certainly different. We do different well.
So what’s the gimmick in Before the Storm? Chloe has no powers.
You also know that, with the freebies, you can get it and not download it until you’re ready to play. It stays in your library.
I mention this as Erica might be something like 45 gigs.
I had to uninstall some stuff last night. Shadow of the Tomb Raider, Divinity 2, AC:O…..Godspeed, old friends.
Just reviewing Ubisoft’s E3 but not E3 cuz no E3 thing again today, and, gotta admit, Assassin’s Creed Valhalla looks pretty sweet. If there’s more of the good from the last one, and less of the busy (and if they don’t put half the game AFTER THE GAME ENDED) it might just tempt me.
Go look at some clips.
Assassin’s Creed again? Hm…
Like the damn mafia. Every time I think I’m out, they pull me back in.
But dude, it’s Vikings. Mr. O will make sure it’s in your house no matter what.
Vikings are hard to resist.
Many a sacked village can attest to that.
No spoilers, just rambling
Sigh. Yesterday was a rough kid day. I’ve told them I’m playing during the day today whether they like it or not. I’ll meet Karen then.
This week got busy. I’m still trying to wrap my head around the fact that I can be busy without getting out of my pajamas. Used to be, you had to get dressed to be busy.
These are strange days, indeed.
Extremely strange. It’s hard to tell when they’re going to be less strange, too. Like…are we going to have school in a month? Even if we do, it won’t be normal school. Every possibility for people being in the building is a risky mess due to exposure potential. Every plan for staying home and doing remote school is also a risky mess due to parental work requirements (and parental sanity).
At least you have a job, which gives you some sense of time and structure. One thing I’ve noticed is that, for me, even when things are supposed to happen, they don’t happen at a time, like they used to. Old days, bus came at 830, came back at 350. Times. Specific times. Today, Amazon Fresh is coming between 1 and 3. The skeeter spraying guy is coming (I swear I am not making this up) between 1014 and 114 (Yes, 14. Not 15, 14).
These are not times. These are ranges.
I’m getting used to ranges. The rare times that something happens at a TIME (like, say, a kids zoom), I fuck it up.
I used to be very punctual. Insanely punctual. Like, OCD punctual.
Now it’s all a range, man. A range…..
I do still have specific times, it’s true. Meetings are scheduled at specific times. This does provide a reminder of the existence of hours. A structure in the day.
Other than that, time has no meaning.
It’s all a range, man. A range…..
Like, I’m still in what I slept in, and what I slept in is long underwear. You wear long underwear in the winter….is it winter? Is it? Maybe…..maybe it is….maybe now we wear long underwear from Summer – Winter… It’s a range, man. A range.
Like, was that too much information? Was it? Was it not enough information? Just enough? Too much?
Information is a range, man. A range.
I don’t know, I feel maybe I really needed to know that, or only sort of needed to know it…it’s a range. I concur.
I sleep in T shirts in the summer, and I think it’s summer today because it’s so hot. Otherwise, it could be any season. I mean, this morning it was actually kind of cool, so maybe it’s really only spring? Maybe it’s already fall? There’s no way to know. I mean, there’s a calendar, but there’s a whole range of pages on it. We could be anywhere in there.
See, another reason you should be glad you have a job is the reminder to put on pants. I often sleep in track pants, which are fine for just oozing out of bed and doing whatever, but the long underwear aren’t really appropriate for greeting the skeeter guy, so I’m glad we’re talking about this and not games because it reminded me to go put on pants.
This is what it’s come to. Remember way back when, we were playing D&D, and someone kept forgetting to detect evil so someone made a sign that just said “EVIL????” to remind them?
Now I need a sign that says “PANTS????”
But really, are long underwear pants? Are they more pants than shorts in that they cover the whole leg? Now that I’m in shorts, am I NO LONGER in pants?
Pants, man. It’s a range.
Oh lord, pants are a SERIOUS range. Shorts! Track pants! Swim shorts! Leggings!
I think long underwear count…I mean, leggings count these days, right? If people can walk around outdoors in skin-tight leggings (and they can and do), you can greet the skeeter guy in long underwear, that’s what I say.
Plus, I mean…there’s a plague on, I feel like there is no dress code anymore. If you’re not flashing people, it’s fine. There’s a wide range of clothing options, and all of them are OK.
I suppose I’d put on a nice work shirt if I were giving a presentation or something, but otherwise, I just show up to Zoom calls in my T shirt (maybe the same one I slept in! They’ll never know!) because it’s too hot to get dressed up for work and then sit around at home all day.
I AM wearing pants, but they’re the ones with fraying cuffs and the pockets falling off, which are also not my usual office wear. Because hell with that, these are more comfortable and I don’t care if I spill jelly on them while making lunch for the kid who’s also home. I don’t have the energy to take care of my work clothes right now, man.
Also, I love the “PANTS????” sign. Very, very timely.
Except if I saw that sign, I’d likely be all “No, sign, and you know what? Who cares?”
Yeah, Mrs. McP had to buy more shorts. She only had one or two pairs, which she would wear on weekends and wash. Now she’s wearing them every day. Weird.
As a man, I must be careful about potential pants (which is a great name for a rock band) that have the convenient hole in the front. Like my long underwear. Just sayin’. Maybe that’s the stuff that’s outside the range. Or not.
That is within the range of acceptable responses to the PANTS???? sign!
It’s far more practical to detect evil than to detect pants.
And as we were just saying, pants are a range! A spell may be needed.
Just using your judgement… “Are these pants? Unclear.”
What’s sad is that, in this day and age, it’s gotten easier to detect evil than to detect pants.
“Evil? Definitely. Pants? Hmm….”
It’s so true…..
Man, why didn’t my game glitch into the one with sorceresses? Sorceresses are better than vague pants.
New, but hard to dispute.
You know, every time we have one of these “I didn’t play” days, I can’t tell if our blogging is better or worse.
Well, it’s certainly different. Probably within a range from better to worse. There’s no way to pin it down more precisely. Pointless to even attempt it.
So true. So very true.
We must test other potential ranges. How many drinks fall between not enough tequila and too much?
Given the times, that’s gonna be a pretty large range.
And you’re right, there are many areas where similar research could be done. Brandy, for example. Wine. Cheesecake. King size Hershey bars.
I need to write up some protocols.
We must. We owe it to our readers. We owe it to science. We owe it to humanity.
HUMANITY IS COUNTING ON US.
We cannot let them down.
In these troubled times, we need heroes. Heroes willing to risk their waistlines, their livers and their dignity.
WE ARE THOSE HEROES!!!!!!
I have never been more proud to be your friend and blogmate than I am today.
The feeling is mutual, Femmy. The feeling is mutual.
How did I know we’d be like this today?
It’s hot and we’re kind of insane?
I feel like we were pretty smart yesterday. We can’t keep up that pace nonstop.
Who would want us to?
I’ll play after dinner. Promise.
You’re likely safe and sound in your lovely, cool, shady front room, aren’t you? I’m in my dining room, on the second floor, surrounded by windows, cooking.
Ugh, can’t end on a downer here. We can’t do that.
TEQUILA! NUDITY! PIE!
Piiiiiiiiiiie!!!!!!!!!!!!! Eating tequila pie in the nude! No pants-detection required!
I recommend this recipe: https://www.bonappetit.com/story/frozen-margarita-pie-is-as-incredible-as-it-sounds
You truly are the hero we need. Truly.
In times of dire need, I step up.
OK, just finished episode 4 so we’ll have to be smart tomorrow.
I better have more tequila.
Pour a hefty shot. Or just fill a wineglass. Or a pint glass. There’s a whole range of valid options.
Ah, virtual camp. A lot like virtual school but with bigger messes.
I THOUGHT this would keep them occupied and get me some free time. Well, they do seem occupied. I do have them engaged with some stuff. But free time? No. I have now gone from being a teacher to being a camp counselor. I WAS a counselor at this very camp when I was a teenager. If I remember correctly, that entailed eating a lot of pizza, drinking gallons of beer and flirting with everything with boobs. That was fun. This? This is not how I remember being a camp counselor. This is messy and loud and does not involve pizza, beer or boobs.
I like the old way better.
And if THAT isn’t the ultimate T SHIRT for our times, what is?
I’ll play later.
“I like the old way better.”
Yeah, that about sums up 2020.
We dropped Grigio off at daycare this morning–I still have mixed feelings about it, but he seemed totally unfazed and happy to go play with his friends again, and MAN is the house quiet right now.
Virtual camp doesn’t next week for O’Jr. I look forward to the messes.
Yeah, thinking about you dropping off Grigio fills me with jealousy and concern. Though, given my general state of sanity right now, jealousy is winning.
Concern…I hope this is the right call…and also WOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOO there’s one less kid in the house to worry about right now!!!!!!!!!
Also concern. Also woohoo.
I certainly see the balance. I’d be feeling the same. Shit, I figure I will be, soon. School’s gonna happen somehow, someway, it seems, and I’ll have to shuttle them off. I will love the five hour binges of Cyberpunk that follow, and I will be concerned.
Sigh. Wash your hands. Lots.
Oh, this is interesting:
Freebie in July called Erica. One that I forgot about, but a nice, quick, free bloggable thingy to kill some pre Cyberpunk time.
Check it out.
So much hand-washing.
It’s funny, I’d really kind of forgotten the “wash your hands, don’t touch your face” thing from February and March…when you’re home all the time, it’s not that critical. I mean, I still wash my hands, but not obsessively after touching every surface the way I was for a while when I was in the office and coming into contact with so many more doors and stairwell railings and elevator buttons.
I will have to refresh my memory of all that.
Throwing the kid in a disinfect bath as soon as he gets home is probably unnecessary, though.
I will totally check out Erica! Story…choices…character relationships…a dangerous and shadowy world of murder…what’s not to love?
Especially as you know he won’t be washing his hands.
And short. And free.
Hey, I will play, I promise, and November 17th is still a ways away……
They’re having them wash their hands all the time in daycare, and we always have them wash when they come in from outside (a good habit even in non-pandemic times). We’ll probably be OK.
Probably. I mean, you just don’t know, and that’s the thing of it. How paranoid is too paranoid?
You’ve been playing! We’ve had good discussion! This is a good game for discussion.
Erica may be as well. I’m up for trying…especially for free.
I don’t know. I’m likely being overly paranoid. But, given the last twelve or so months of my life, anything I can do to hide from the wrath of Naked Zeus I’m doing.
Free is good. And we will have to patch together a game list. I don’t see us getting into a AAA biggie before the PS5/Cyberpunk hit. We still have the rest of LiS, Before the Storm (I’m down with that), and then only a few months. We don’t want to be rolling our eyes that we still have a month’s worth of bandit camps to raid when we have a shiny new box and a brand new CDPR game.
Yes, yes, I know TLOU2 would fit our schedule really well, but we agree that our response to it fitting our schedule is “So what? Fuck that noise,” right?
We do agree that. So many reviews are all saying the same things: it’s technically very good, it’s beautifully done, and it’s soul-crushing as hell and not in any way a good time.
I just don’t need that in my life right now. You certainly don’t need that in your life right now. 2020 is not the year for that! (I mean, in some ways it absolutely is, in the sense that perhaps this is the game that most truly reflects our national and global mood!–but in other ways, such as in the sense of something we actually want to spend time on, it is definitely not.)
Let’s stick with less cripplingly depressing things for the time being.
Before the Storm, Erica, whatever else. We’ll fill in the time somehow.
And I don’t think you’re being too paranoid. I think (within reason–sealing yourself into a sterile vault for 50 years might be excessive) there’s not really any level that’s too paranoid. There’s just what each of us can personally do.
I mean, the virus is still out there, making people sick. Cases are rising in most states. People are dying. This is not something to take lightly–nothing has changed since we started this whole thing!
Except, hopefully, the hand-washing and sterilizing procedures at daycares and other businesses, so we don’t all die.
We will doubtless fill time. We must. You know how we get when we don’t play.
And yes, people are taking precautions, but I fucking swear, if I see another moron wearing a mask UNDER THEIR NOSE I’m gonna burst. I saw somewhere that that’s like wearing your underwear around your thighs. Kinda defeats the point.
I do miss things, though. I am, right now, on hold with the grocery store who, predictably, fucked up my pick up order. I know I should just go, but it only costs five bucks and is safer. Well, five bucks and all this time on the phone.
Yeah, a lot of masks are not worn very effectively. Especially by 4-year-olds.
Although he’s actually very good about it. The 8-year-old is the one who complains about it all the time.
Yeah, Meaty’s good, Nugget complains, Junior won’t do it at all.
Weird. You’d think it would be the other way around.
Whatever. I just curbside pickuped. And went into the post office! Living on the edge, me. Mailing old clothes to my sister in law. You know, Naked Zeus has a sense of irony, and watch, I’ll get sick mailing something TO MY SISTER IN LAW because of course.
Well, at least now I have enough food and booze that I should last another week without surfacing from my hole. Until I realize I forgot something. Or Junior eats it all.
Both of which are very, very likely.
I keep meaning to head to the post office to mail some stuff to my sister, but haven’t gotten around to it yet.
One of these days…probably after her baby no longer cares about these baby toys…
At least you’re safe, because getting sick while mailing stuff to your sister isn’t ironic. Mailing stuff to your sister in law (your ungrateful, pain in the ass sister in law) is.
And we all know how Naked Zeus feels about irony.
We do indeed.
Gods and their thought-provoking plot twists, man. Definitely lay low for a while.
Very low. Lower than low. Barely here at all.
At least the booze store delivers.
And now we are molding things out of salt dough.
What is salt dough, you ask?
Salt dough is messy. It also used up two cups of my precious flour.
Oh, is that that sort of homemade Play-doh substitute? That you can bake into permanent works of art to store around your house and bring back all these precious memories?
We made that a few times while I was a kid.
That’s the one. That is the one. The one.
The one you bake for two hours.
Aaaaaaaah, the paint.
All over the place. With water splashing everywhere from the brushes.
The old way was better.
Oh, it gets better.
Because after they paint, they want to use them to make a stop motion movie. They will likely break in doing so. This will cause angst.
Oh, and the dance project that Meatball is doing? It’s based on Stomp. You know Stomp?
And weep for me.
I’m honestly just surfing around looking for an image that will suitably express my jaw-dropping horror, but I have been unsuccessful.
I weep for you.
But, I mean…think of the memories! So…many…memories…loud, messy memories…
Not like you needed another excuse to drink, but there you go.
It’s….good….because…I am enriching…their lives….giving them a foundation….to be….well adjusted…..
And so, so drunk.
Prozac and tequila truly are the only bulwark protecting me from total insanity.
Nor should you be! A bulwark is a bulwark.
It’s a very weak bulwark. I’m being yelled at. Again.
Time to drink more.
O’Jr. got all grumpy because Grigio was out playing with his friends, and he (O’Jr.) couldn’t go anywhere. “I want to go to school!” he yelled.
If only, my young friend. If only.
Deep breaths. Deep drinks of booze.
Well, two thirds of my kids were good. Wasn’t their fault there was salt dough. They did manage to bring Rock Man and Dr. Science (he’s the villain) and three robots and…..a ghost? I think that’s a ghost…..to life.
And we discussed what a montage is and started the dance. He is being very meticulous about the dance.
Can’t get ’em to do shit for a month, he watches a video of dudes with brooms and now he’s Bob Fosse.
Minor spoilers for the beginning of episode 2 in Life is Strange 2
OK, gotta write stuff down before kids and cheap tequila erase my thoughts.
Played, and noticed that, in the wolves icon, the big one is following the little one. Huh. Interesting.
But really, and this was the last thing I did, the bit where Sean goes out for a smoke and tries to lift the rock, only to fail and sigh, was fucking gold. Absolutely wonderful game moment that ties in directly to our brilliance.
I know, that was great. Just that moment of “hey, maybe…nah.” Because I’m sure one WOULD wonder. If my little brother has superpowers, maybe I do! Oh…guess not.
Completely understandable, and you felt a little sorry for him, but also, he just kind of shrugged it off, so hopefully he’s not going to be eaten up with jealousy and ruin their relationship. It’s got to be a tough position to be in.
It was also at that game moment where you expect some big reveal. Start of an episode, right? Right before the title sequence (cuz it was the last thing before “episode two” splashed across the screen). Usually, that’s when the hero does something, there is a gasp, there is a big triumphant thing with title.
Here, it was “OK, now there will be this triumphant, gasp game moment before the title and oh no sorry it’s nothing. And……title.”
In other news, the skittle wine was fucking good. Like, very, very good.
And yeah, it was a nice fake-out in terms of timing. “Mayyyyyybeee… Nope. The main action in the story is still about Daniel.”
Which is the right choice, narratively. It would have confused the story to have Sean suddenly trying to work on his own powers, as well as support his brother. But also, you can totally understand and sympathize with Sean for trying it.
The skittle wine….I can’t tell if wine people are fucking with us, because damned if I couldn’t actually taste an aftertaste that tasted like skittles. I kinda hate myself for it, because I’m totally convinced that the only reason I do taste the skittles is that the wine people TOLD me to taste the skittles. Had it not said skittles, would I have tastes skittles? I doubt it. But maybe. But I doubt it.
The wine people control my mind.
Now if only the wine people would tell me my house has notes of central air conditioning and strong overtones of sorceresses.
We need to get wine-description jobs, man. We could make that happen!
I mean, here’s another option: you could write that up yourself, print it out all fancy with a nice formal font, glue it to the bottle, and see it if worked. But it might not because you’d know you did it yourself.
So for the full experience you’d probably have to have someone else do it for you, so that you came across it unexpectedly and all.
Hm. There’s some potential here…new business idea!
We sell wine labels that people can stick to bottles, containing fancy descriptions with the keywords desired! Makes a great gift for a loved one (or an enemy, depending on what’s in the description…we don’t judge!) or yourself!
We’re going to be rich!
Dude, why DON’T we have wine description jobs? It seems to entail coming up with flowery, sorta descriptive pseudo-poetic bullshit while drinking. That’s, like WHAT WE DO! It’s what we do SO WELL!
And the make your own label! This is GENIUS! We could be all “Want to give someone a nice bottle of wine but only want to spend four bucks? Well, slap this on there!:
“A powerful red, with notes of huckleberry, Peruvian espresso, and Maltese persimmon. 97 points! B. McP.”
“You can really taste the wine in this one! Got me drunk! 103 points! F O’LB.”
And now it TASTES EXPENSIVE! Because you can really get that Maltese persimmon. And the wine!
THIS is the plan that is really going to make our fortunes.
Plus, just imagine the magnificent labels we can put on our pear brandy! And the “subtle notes of burlap” that will tie it all back to our lingerie collection!
Man, we’re brilliant.
DUDE it can ALL be about the cross marketing! Sell labels to spruce up cheap wine that say
“Subtle notes of burlap and papier mache give way to notes of New England pear blossom….pairs perfectly with erudite yet devilishly witty video game blogs…..”
It’ll just keep paying for itself over and over again.
Brilliant. Utterly brilliant. We’re going to be rolling in booze and video games for life.
We gotta work in the T SHIRT angle somehow, though……
Ooh, good point. We should mine our T SHIRT collection for pithy lines to work into the wine labels, and vice versa.
People LOVE possibly ironic gibberish with their wine!
Which is itself a T SHIRT that’s ironic as hell!
We’re gonna be rich.
Hell, dude, you know how fast I’d buy a bottle of wine if it mentioned “subtle hints of burlap, with a melancholy finish reminiscent of that time in a young person’s life when they have to impale a parent figure on a stake”?
So fast, I don’t even have time to think up any amusing descriptions for how fast it is, that’s how fast.
I already did it.
Everyone would! That makes the wine sound both sophisticated yet so approachable, as everyone can relate to it!
Anyone in the world could relate! Just sitting there, sipping, reflecting on the past, and, for those of us with children, the inevitable future…it’s deliciously bittersweet. Robustly boozy.
Dude, you are a fucking NATURAL at this!
How have we missed our calling for so long?
Maybe it was just too obvious. Sometimes the thing that’s right in your wine glass is the easiest thing to miss.
Man, we’re coming up with some good ones today.
And watch, I’ll play later and we’ll get all smart and screw it all up tomorrow.
But it’s a safety measure, really. If we maintain this level of brilliance nonstop, we’ll probably burn out the internet.
Which would deprive people of the chance to buy our products.
Ah, well. I better just play.