Getting the Party Started

Tags

Assassin's Creed: Odyssey, challenge level, character, fashion, music, plot, story

Some spoilers for story in AC: Odyssey

Butch:

Now that was a motherfucking dress ball.

Hiding playwrights! Drunken singing contests! Bisexual orgies with goats!

I mean, no sorceresses in stunning, I mean STUNNING green dresses but hey, no dress ball is perfect.

I feel, though, that I may have missed something. I always get nervy when someone is all “are you SURE you don’t want to leave?”

I also feel that, while that was fun, that it didn’t serve much of a purpose except historic name dropping and saying “OK! Athens time over! Off you go to other places! Here’s a trophy for completing chapter four!” There wasn’t a whole lot of plot, per se unless….

………and here’s what makes me nervous…….

……..they’re setting us up to know all of these folks so that, when they come back later, we understand all their dynamics and interactions and all that shit.

Femmy, I cannot tell all these dudes with beards and hairy chests and names I can’t spell apart when I’m actually AT the party! I’m not going to remember who was arguing with who about what six weeks from now! I’m not going to remember who supported who or who was jealous of who! If this was the game all “OK! This will all be important later! Do you understand?” then my answer is an emphatic “NO! No, game! I do not! And, if I do, I won’t remember!” I’ll remember the orgy dude cuz he was named Allie and didn’t have a beard or a hairy chest so he stands out, but other than that, I’m doomed.

One always remembers the orgy dude.

T SHIRT!!!!!!

I’m so doomed.

Feminina:

Right? The Greeks KNOW how to do a fancy dress ball! (You accepted the fancy dress, I take it? I did. I mean, I considered insisting on keeping my armor and weapons, but I didn’t want to miss the chance to get dressed up, so I figured even if I did get attacked, I’d make do with a cheese knife I grabbed from the buffet table or something.)

I don’t really remember any of those guys either, except Alkibiades (who as you say was hard to miss) and Sokrates (whom I already knew). I think if they come up later, we’ll get some kind of refresher course. I felt like it was really more about the general confusing, drunken atmosphere for Kassandra, as well as uncovering clues about the next places we need to go, than it was about laying out specific important plot points we’ll need to know later.

So and so prefers dry wine! NEVER FORGET THIS.

It’s gonna be great. We’re gonna love it.

I went and killed some people for Kleon, and now he wants me to look for some guy whose name starts with H who was last seen in a quarry. Is that the guy you looked for already? I’m on it.

Butch:

Oh I SO got dressed up! And I accidentally lit myself on fire by walking into a brazier, but, luckily, this did not really affect the look. Hey, orgies AND someone on fire! That’s a Par-TAY!

Sweet wine! He wanted the sweet wine! I think. Whatever. That’s what he got. And the singing competition that followed was great. I take it you sang?

I take it you joined in the orgy?

Man….shit. I GUESS that was who I was looking for. There’s this masked cultist who has a quarry and slaves in Attika. I was looking for his clue. Maybe I had to do the Kleon shit first.

Shit.

Feminina:

Oh man! I gave him dry wine! He liked it, said it was the nectar of the gods, but there was no singing contest, so maybe he would have gotten even drunker if I’d picked the sweet. I thought the guy hiding in the kitchen said the other guy “couldn’t abide” sweet wine, but maybe he said he “couldn’t handle” it…meaning it would have hit him even harder.

Sigh. Can’t believe I missed a singing contest! At least I got the orgy. Going back to the kitchen for oil was a nice touch.

Oh! Oh! And what did Phoibe say when you left? She told me “I heard there was a plague on Kephallonia! You don’t suppose my friend…”

And Kassandra said something like “no, no, this isn’t anyone’s fault! But I’ll go check on Kephallonia.” Which is either lazy game writing, or Kassandra flat-out lying, because I’ve BEEN back to Kephallonia and I know there IS a plague and it’s actually totally my fault. Anyway, props to the game once again for having this choice continue to reverberate through the story.

As for the quarry, I don’t know, this wasn’t anything to do with a cultist, it’s just some messenger Kleon wants me to find me. Maybe a totally different guy.

Butch:

It was a nice touch, but DUDE the singing contest! How on EARTH did you miss the singing contest? They both got drunk, and they challenge each other and Kassandra to a singing verse contest where you have to make up verses on the spot, complete with timed dialog choices. Kassandra is belting it out, man. Girl can hit the back of the room with the best of them. She was totally into it, too, with dance moves and gestures and over emoting. It was great.

Dude! No, Phoibe just said that she can’t wait to see me again, and knows she will this time, because this is Athens and not Kephallonia, and no one ever goes back to Kephallonia!”

Games all “Hey, Femmy, go back and see what you did! But Butch? Yeah, you’re good. Keep on trucking.”

Probably a different H guy. I’ll never find this dude. Probably won’t be able to finish the game.

Feminina:

OH MAN! Sadness. Yeah, he must have preferred the sweet wine. I got none of that. The one guy just told me his tip about the mountain sanctuary or wherever and the other one said “well, this is dull” and staggered off. End of conversation.

Siiiiiigh.

This plague on Kephallonia is going to haunt me forever.

As is the dude you can’t find in the quarry. But nah, he’ll turn up. Bound to. Go kill a dude for Kleon and maybe when he sends you back, somehow the clue will magically be there. Maybe it’s on the messenger I need to look for!

It’ll work out.

I haven’t killed any cultists lately. Need to step up that game, man.

Butch:

Dude, you would have loved it. Cuz we love songs, too! Remember Leliana’s song? We loved that. And drunken song duels pretty much need to be added to our list of things games must have.

Feminina:

I am so grieved and disheartened right now. It hardly even seems worth it to murder more dudes in the face of this terrible setback.

This will surely stand as the single most important thing we did differently in this game. Or perhaps any game.

Butch:

It really will. It really, really will.

I’d urge you to go look at some videos of it online, but that might make the pain all the worse.

Feminina:

Yeah, I thought about that, and then thought “no, it would only rub salt in the wound.”

Knowing you missed a great party isn’t less painful if you can see video of other people having fun at that party.

My Kassandra has made many grave errors in her life, but this is perhaps the gravest. Plague? Enh. Causing a guy to gouge out his own eyes because he couldn’t handle the truth? Being mean to children? Whatever.

Failing to liven up a party? TRAGEDY.

Butch:

Yeah, man. I sang (very well, if I don’t say so myself) AND accidentally lit myself on fire.

I blame the goat.

Feminina:

I didn’t set myself on fire, but I did very warily keep on eye on a torch someone had dropped on the carpet. “That can’t be good,” I thought, and tried to pick it up, but was unable to move it. Probably because my fancy dress hampered my freedom of movement. Ha!

I kept watching other people wandering around almost on top of it, but it never set anything on fire, so everything turned out OK. After watching that random person burn to death in the marketplace that time, not to mention setting myself on fire a few times (not at parties), I have a healthy respect for flames.

Which when you think about it is probably the most practical thing this game could teach us.

Butch:

Second only to “Make sure you get the good wine, cuz otherwise you’ll miss the singing.”

Feminina:

Lesson bitterly learned, game.

Butch:

I do kinda like it as a game mechanic. Like, if you remember/forget the wine choice you get a reward/punishment, but it’s just kinda fun. Had it been “quest failed” or “now you don’t get the information this way so you have to spend two more hours getting it some other way,” that would’ve sucked. So it all stays in character, sure, but in such a way that doesn’t go overboard in punishing the player.

Feminina:

Yeah, I’m into it. No real game impact, but fun stuff you could miss. Like Geralt staying up drinking with the other witchers and dressing up in Yen’s clothes and accidentally calling some other sorceress on the magic sorceress communication device!

Good times, but not a big deal from a game standpoint if you don’t do it.

Butch:

HA! Yeah, that was kinda the best. Yen being pissed about it was the icing on the cake.

Ah, good times. More parties, more drinking, more singing, games.

Feminina:

Yes! All of those things. Plus group hug endings.

Man, someday someone is finally going to make the Best Game Ever by incorporating all of those things.

We’re waiting, game industry. We’re waiting.

Butch:

And nudity. Need more of that.

Feminina:

Oh yes, that goes without saying. Always.

Butch:

Man, how did we get here before noon? I played! I did a big story mission!

But it’s hot. There’s kids. It seems so long until school……

Feminina:

You’re right. We need to get back on track. At least for a while.

So…uh…after Attika, which of the leads are you going to follow up on? I think I’m going to go to Keos, because I have an ainigmata ostraka clue that leads me there and I actually haven’t already been. Might as well multitask, right?

Also, do you think we’re actually going to get different information at each location, or do we just have to follow up on all three leads to learn the same thing, like with the Dagger and the identity of the Kingfisher?

Here’s hoping it’s the former.

Butch:

Man, I hope so, too. Maybe it’ll be we only have to do one….

…nah.

I dunno, man. See, you’re level, what, 97 or so, and I just hit level 20 (yet another way to liven up a party: start emitting flashes of golden light while strings play), so I was going to pick whatever was easiest. That said, as things level up with you, you have no way of knowing which that is. I have no objection to Keos so long as I don’t meet some, what, level 95 llamas on the beach who make the boars look wimpy.

Feminina:

I just hit level 30 last night! It was magnificent. The music, the golden light…and yeah, last time I leveled was at the party! That was where I swear these two guys talking in the background looked startled and threw up their hands to block the sudden radiance. Although they were having an animated conversation anyway, so it could have been a coincidence.

If you were just in Korinth and it was overpowered for you, maybe Keos is the place to go! Although maybe not, because I haven’t been there yet. What was the other place? Logically, one of them must be around level 20, because it would be kind of odd of the game to say “the main story leads here!–to these several places you can’t go yet.”

If the main story only led to one place, sure. We have many times had the experience of needing to go do sidequests and level up until we were tough enough to follow the main story. But when they give you not one but three options, thus guaranteeing you’re going to be busy for a while following up on them all (because like you, I find the idea that maybe we only have to do one of them and then we’ll be done to be implausible), you’d think at least one of them ought to be one you could follow up on right then.

Of course, that’s human logic, not game logic, so what do I know?

Butch:

Well, I think, but I’m not sure, that Korinth’s helpful level guide was like 18-23 or something. Maybe I just landed in the hardest part of Korinth. Maybe. Maybe there are parts of Korinth I can handle. If I can get past the llamas.

I’ll check tonight. But I’m sure as hell not ready for any of those 24-28 parts.

Feminina:

Come with me to Keos! Minimum recommended level 17, according to the internet.

It’s gonna be great.

Butch:

Keos ahoy!

Now watch: for the next three weeks I’ll be all “uh, you in keos yet?” And you’ll be all “how should I know? Oooooo! Cave!!!!”

Feminina:

Too true. After all, I have to go find this guy in a quarry for Kleon, and who knows where I’ll end up from there.

Butch:

Plans femmy. You know how they go.

Feminina:

How well I know. Just watch, neither one of us is going to set foot on Keos for months.

Did I mention I went back to the volcano island? Killed some bandits or cult members or whoever was there. Got some loot. Good times.

Butch:

No! Did you magpie there or did you have a reason?

We probably won’t even find Keos on the map for months.

Feminina:

Pure magpie. I was thinking “you know where I haven’t finished a question mark? That volcano!” Went in, murdered and looted, got out. There wasn’t a lot of story there.

Although there probably will be later, and I’ll have to go back. Meh.

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Fun Subtitle Tricks to Try at Home

Tags

Assassin's Creed: Odyssey, challenge level, mechanics, plot, XP

Extremely minor spoilers for plot points in AC: Odyssey

Butch:

Don’t have much cuz my soul got crushed, as it does, but I did play some. Spent FOREVER trying to get into a silver mine to get a cultist clue (no cover, long mine, unfair), found out he was level 22 and I’m not (more on that in a second), did a timed quest (that, too), discovered a bunch of places, and killed a really tricky cultist and his friends.

Here’s what I wanna talk about: XP. I wanna talk about XP.

XP, I believe came about in D&D, right? They were supposed to represent your character gaining EXPERIENCE. Knowledge. Skills. You earned the points for doing things that meant your character was learning stuff about the world, getting better with swords and hammers and spells with practice, working towards the next level by learning, practicing and growing. Right? That was the point.

Games took that and ran, and fine. It’s a good system! It explains why a character has more skills now than before: Because that character learned by practicing and doing stuff over time.

Which brings us to this game, that obviously doesn’t understand what XP are and has no idea why it’s giving them out.

So see above what I did. The silver mine hard. It needed stealth, combat, and special abilities. You know, the stuff Kassandra has to practice to get better. Lots of question marks? She’s learning about the world. The Cultist? Both practice and learning about the cult. These are EXPERIENCE. But each thing? A hundred. Couple hundred. 900 for clearing the mine. 1200 for killing the cultist.

And then the timed quest, for which I got 3200 3200! Must’ve been hard, you say. Well, here’s what I had to do: give a lady 50 drachmae. That was it. And for that, 3200 XP.

Now, I’m happy to have the XP. I am. I need them, as I am way behind you. I feel I earned a fair amount of XP for the stuff I did in the playing session, when you total it all up. But I should’ve gotten far more for doing the stuff that got Kassandra relevant experience and far less for just giving someone some money. What experience did that give her? How did that teach her anything that she’d need to learn more stuff?

I sorta feel games have forgotten that XP are really EP. When they do that, they stop making any sense. Skill progression stops making any sense. And, while I accept the story of AC makes no sense, at least the skill progression should.

And how they’re handing out XP does not.

In other news, my hotmail side ad is for a hemodyalsis machine.  Seriously. 

I liked it better when Mrs. McP shopped at Victoria’s Secret.  FAR better ads. 

Feminina:

I’m with you–the XP on some of those little timed quests is completely disproportionate to any kind of effort required. Unless you learned that helping people is good, and that helps Kassandra grow as a person? Grow A LOT? But man, that’s a stretch. In reality, it’s obviously just a quick way to let people boost their progress towards the next level.

“Here’s 50 bucks, gimme more HP and damage please!”

I did play! I even went back to Athens and talked to Perikles! Only partly to prove you wrong because you bet I wouldn’t. I was probably about to get around to it anyway.

Major story event! Romance! Fancy dress ball! And guess where I need to go now?

That’s right: Korinthia. The very place I just spent 20 hours clearing of question marks while avoiding a return to Athens. (Incidentally, Perikles made some dry comment about how it was nice I’d finally made it back. I don’t know if he always says that, or if it’s actually based on the amount of time you spend doing random other stuff before you go see him again, but it was kind of great. I recommend you hurry back ASAP and see if he says it to you!)

Anyway, no worries, now Korinthia is all neat and tidy and I can focus on the mission!

My sidebar ad is for the NYT. At least it’s not hemodialysis!

Butch:

Still not as good as Victoria’s Secret.

I dunno. I think it undermines what XP are for. XP are for making progression make sense. And it isn’t necessarily the timed quests themselves. There was one where I had to kill a bigassed bear. That I don’t mind the XP. Killing bigassed bears is good practice for fighting things. THAT deserves XP.

But XP is really a way that RPGs try to use stats to replicate real life as well as RPGs can, and I say this going back to pen and paper D&D. Whether it’s that, or skill checks, or the wealth system in D20 Modern, the whole point of stats is to make the game make some sort of realistic sense, as much as that is possible. When you abandon that for…no real reason…then not only is the player confused as to what to do next, you get rid of the small bit of realism that the stat was there to provide. Games should be working towards some sort of immersive realism, not backing away from it.

Re: Korinthia I TOLD YOU I TOLD YOU I TOLD YOU I TOLD YOU I TOLD YOU!

Dude, why magpie when you’re going there anyway?

Ok, fuck it. I have one more cultist clue to track down in Attika, I will do that, then off to Perikles. That’ll give me a level or two. If not, I’ll do a timed quest or two where I have to pet a dog or eat a sandwich and I’ll be fine.

Feminina:

Enh, it’s fine. I was going to get to all those question marks in Korinthia at some point anyway, right? What difference does it make it if I do it now or later?

I magpie BECAUSE I know I’ll be going there anyway, and I want to be prepared when I do.

And you’re right, huge XP awards for no effort do contradict the stated meaning of XP within the game. If we get rewarded more for handing someone 50 drachmae than for actually using all the skills we’ve been working on, what does that reward even mean? Should we be spending ALL our time on the tiny side quests, since that’s what the game values?

I was in a conversational setting last night when I happened to fulfill an objective that put me over the top to 29. It was funny to be standing in the middle of a group when suddenly the soaring triumphant chords sounded and the golden light suffused me… I swear some people nearby started back in astonishment and made as if to cover their eyes, and although it was probably just part of their conversation animation, I thought it was pretty amusing.

Butch:

HA! That is pretty great. Though it reminds me of another complaint with this game and, frankly, lots of others.

There’ll be times you finish a quest or level or both and the triumphant chords happen and all the other sound effect at the very time Kassandra is saying something about what just happened and/or what’s gonna happen next. Like, game, seriously. You KNOW there’s gonna be sound after a quest. Do not make her talk then. Have her wait five seconds.

This happens ALL THE TIME.

Feminina:

YES! That is true. Stop doing that, games! Level-up effects need to force an auto-pause on all other activity! Either that, or they can wait until you’re actually ready to deal with them. Some games just tell you “hey you leveled up!” with a discreet ping or something. Which is not nearly as exciting as the chords and the golden light, I grant you, but no one wants to miss out on dialogue for that!

I do appreciate the games that will let you level up mid-combat and heal you at the same time. I’ve had some happy instances of being almost dead until I happened to strike the blow that did it, and then I was full health AND stronger, and that saved the battle.

It is a very artificial measure, though. It’s pretty well baked into games now, and I understand why, and it obviously serves a very important purpose in game progression and character development. I don’t object to it. But it’s artificial and takes you out of the game to some extent, however they do it.

More so, though, when there’s not even any internal logic to what it is you’re getting rewarded for.

Butch:

See also: don’t yell “SLOW DOWN” when Barnabas or Herodotus is talking. Like, we know. Slow down.

I haven’t leveled during combat yet. Each time it’s at the end of a quest and, it seems, each time I miss something.

You probably miss her saying “Why the fuck am I here? I’m going to have to come here later.”

Feminina:

I actually think it’s kind of funny that they yell at me to slow down if I’m too busy hopping around looting in the area while they’re talking. Sure, I already know I should, but if I don’t, I don’t mind them pointing it out.

I think I miss her saying “excellent, another question mark I won’t have to come deal with later!”

Butch:

No, when Kassandra yells it. On the boat.

Herodotus: Have I told you about this place that will be crucially important to the story later?
Kassandra: You have not my friend. Please do.
Herodotus: It all began long ago, when the old ones-
Kassandra: SLOW DOWN! OARS!
Herodotus: ****silence****
Kassandra: You were saying?
Herodotus: Sorry. The developers only let me say it once, as a set piece.
Kassandra: Seriously? That was important!
Herodotus: You were the one that slowed down.
Kassandra: There were boats that could’ve been pirates! C’mon, one more chance.
Herodotus: Fine. Fine. I suppose. Long ago, there were crucially important-
Kassandra: FULL SAIL! SING SHANTIES!
Herodotus: Man, fuck this.

Feminina:

Oh, right! Yeah, she needs to keep out of her own conversations sometimes. I haven’t been on the ship in a while, to be honest, so I’d forgotten that little quirk.

RDR2, to its credit, handled dialogue during travel pretty well. I remember sometimes I’d outrun someone and start shooting at a deer or whatever and they’d just break off and then pick up the thread once we were riding close together again. “Anyway, as I was saying, this oaf wandered out to California…”

Butch:

Yeah, that made sense. But shit, in this game, it isn’t even they talk over each other. Even the subtitles just say “More oars!” or some shit. Herodotus is lost to time. And dialog.

Feminina:

Not helpful, subtitles! Be more informative!

I mean, unless it’s all a clever plan to make us think there’s more story than there actually is. Maybe it’s intentional!

“And so the one piece of information that makes this whole thing make sense is–”

“MORE OARS! And good point, Herodotus. That DOES make perfect sense!”

“All those people complaining about the bizarre twists just need to understand–”

“SAILS! SAILS UP! Very true, my friend. Once they know that one weird trick, it all becomes clear AND they can melt belly fat with no effort!”

Butch:

That would make sense….

Can’t tell which is worse, just cutting off subtitles, or what Shadow of the TR did, which threw every damn word ANYONE said into the subtitles. You’d be walking though Paititi, and EVERY NPC saying anything would pop up. Like, five, six lines at a time, most of them not in English, all in different colors. Somewhere in there was plot….I think.

Again, maybe that was a smokescreen, too.

Feminina:

We may be underestimating the sneakiness of the writers. Because you know what’s easier than crafting a consistent, compelling narrative over multiple installments composed of large, complex games?

NOT doing that. And then using subtle tricks to suggest the existence of such a narrative in ways that make players blame mechanics for not catching the details, rather than noting the absence of the details themselves.

Butch:

We’re so onto them.

“Hey, let’s just mumble and then put a bunch of gibberish over it! We can say the gibberish is Greek! Like anyone speaks Greek. No one will know!”

Makes perfect sense now….it’s all so clear to me.

Feminina:

We’ll be melting belly fat while we sleep in no time!

Butch:

Behold the power of gibberish!

T SHIRT!!!!!

Feminina:

Of course! It’s so obvious! It was [mumble mumble] all along!

 

Naked Zeus is a Harsh Master

Tags

Assassin's Creed: Odyssey, booze, challenge level, children, combat

Crushed souls tell no spoilers

Butch:

I got nothing. Well, I have tired kids. Not home until 930 last night from the show. One thing I’ll say for this camp: The shows are damn good. I’ll give them that. But late. Very late.

And, when they’re tired, they’re evil.

But it’s cool. They’ll go to bed nice and early and oh wait there’s another, even longer show tonight, and Nugget has a part in the second act.

Tomorrow will be ok, though. Very mellow and oh wait they have their end of camp thing where they’re both in concerts.

Naked Zeus, I beseech you….either save me or strike me down. There’s a ram and maybe a cup of iced coffee in it for you.

Feminina:

Good lord, man.

Honestly, I’m not sure sacrifice will help you: based on this tale of tribulations, I can only assume that you have gravely offended Naked Zeus in the past, and this is your terrible punishment. Legends will be told about it in ages to come. Cautionary legends.

I played some. Bopped around Korinth and the surrounding area, did everything I had to do there except the giant fort on the hill. I’ll go back for that. There’s time. Not like a sinister cult is trying to find and probably murder my mother or anything.

Butch:

You know you’ll likely be back. You’ll do the fort, and the very next quest will be “Go get the thing from that fort…..”

Kevin all “Phew. Glad that’s over. She’s finally gone. I gotta remember to mow the lawn. Well, right after I put this beacon that exploded back together. Hey, Kevin, hand me that hammer. Kevin? Kevin? Kevin, I TOLD you, don’t go near the grass oh where has he gone…hey, what’s that whistling?”

As for my trials and tribulations, it’s cool. As of three tomorrow, camp will be done! So…you know….nothing really happening until school…in a couple of weeks…..

SAVE ME NAKED ZEUS!!!!!!

Feminina:

I still think you need to repent and beg forgiveness for some horrible crime you must have committed to anger Him. Maybe sacrifice a couple of the kids?

Hm. That might be a bit dark, even for us.

Butch:

Yet it would be particularly effective in terms of remedying the issues at hand.

Feminina:

Even if Naked Zeus doesn’t personally respond!

Hard to argue with that kind of efficacy when it comes to prayer.

Butch:

Sometimes, you just gotta make sure Naked Zeus gets the hint.

T SHIRT!!!!!

Oh, and there’s a gathering of the neighborhood friends TOMORROW after the camp thing because they all need to drink away their kid issues, too, and guess who they always nominate to cook shit?

Going to desperately try to find time to get to Korinth this afternoon.

Feminina:

Korinth has so many captains to kill and treasures to loot! You’re gonna love it.

Butch:

Dude, I could’ve had that in Athens. I DID have that in Athens. My sailors are gonna be all “You made us row all the way here, stopping every twelve feet, for this? We could’ve stayed put, man!”

Feminina:

“Quiet, you. You needed the exercise. Can’t have you getting all lazy and sloppy right before we get attacked by pirates again. Trust me, you have to keep up with FITNESS or it’ll haunt you.”

Butch:

It so will!

Though I really don’t have to taunt them with FITNESS. I often (and I assume you do the same) do the trick of “travel speed” then “Ooo! Question Mark! Slow down!”

So she’s always “Sails up oars out….sails no, oars! Uh…sails…maybe no oars!”

I’m sorta surprised they haven’t thrown me overboard. Maybe they’ve thought about it, then realized I’d just swim back.

Feminina:

Ha! Yes. I’ve done that. “Full speed ahead! On second thought slow down, I want to check out that thing over there…”

It’s all about teaching them to respond quickly and accurately. Because when the pirates come, an instant’s hesitation could be fatal!

Butch:

Ergo the irony of me, in the face of every pirate attack, taking forever to a) figure out where they are, b) remembering what buttons to push and c) line up a ram that never works anyway. Sailors all “What NOW we’re chilling? NOW?????”

OK! Played some!

I gotta ask: What did I ever do to you? You KNOW I’m having a rough week. So why? Why did you send me to Korinth?

I’m in Korinth. I went by way of Salamis (aren’t salamis Italian?) (Had to be said) where I did the tomb of Ajax, found a stele, got some cool loot. It was fun. Killed a cultist there, too.

And then went zoop across the bay to Korinth.

Where EVERYTHING is two or three levels above me. First place: Red 23s over them. I’m level 19. The fucking WOLVES outrank me.

Yes, there are question marks. Lots of them. LOTS of them. With baddies who are badder than I am.

Dude.

DUDE.

Feminina:

Oh. Sorry.

I’m level 28! I didn’t realize! You’re keeping up with me in terms of the main story, it didn’t occur to me that you might not also be at the same level. But then, I guess I’ve killed a lot more random captains I found at random question marks, and that adds up.

Apologies, though. Unintentional! Maybe try Megaris? I had a lot of question marks at the far edges of Megaris that I’d missed. Maybe you do too.

Butch:

28????????

There is no Kevin left in Greece.

Nah, dude, I’m going to give you a 50/50 chance of actually doing main quest shit this week at all. If I ever have time to play games again, I’m going back to Attika. At the very least, there’s two cultists there need killin’ and they’re my level. That and maybe a chat with Perikles (who is SO in the cult….we’ll talk….later….) should beef me up some. At least it’ll do it quicker than getting 192 XP per question mark.

You haven’t been back to Athens at all, have you?

Feminina:

Well…no. I have not. I will. At some point.

Mr. O’ is level 38, man. I thought I was lagging behind here! Of course he’s on summer vacation and doesn’t need sleep. It’s really only surprising he’s not finished yet.

Butch:

Oh he’s on summer vacation! Why didn’t you say so! Makes so much sense now, because there’s nothing like being at home with the kids all day to get wonderful, peaceful, game time!

Feminina:

I hold you as the shining ideal of how well that works, all right. Your soul is hardly crushed at all!

But they’re not home all day, they’ve got daycare and summer adventure camp at school. They’re home some of the time, for sure, but he manages to play some afternoons. Plus the not sleeping means he can also play at night.

Butch:

Yeah, the night playing is a plus. But, as my soul is crushed, I’m usually either a) tired, b) tipsy or, most likely c) both at night.

But again….my kids are/were at camp. But there were chores! Food to make! FITNESS to do! Laundry!

How does he DO it?

Feminina:

I don’t know, I’m not home. But probably not having to drive all over creation to drop people off and pick them up helps. We’re kind of close to everything right now, in the city, so that’s convenient.

If the kids ever want to go someplace COOL, or FUN, that could be a different story. But not my problem hahahahahaha because oh darn I have to work! I’m cruel.

Wolf, YOU Are My Father!

Tags

Assassin's Creed: Odyssey, challenge level, combat, mechanics, plot, story

Some spoilers for early plot points in AC: Odyssey

Feminina:

All right, I returned to the main storyline, and immediately got to the part where I have to work for the Spartans in order to get close enough to the Wolf to assassinate him.

I’m not sure, though…was Elpenor, the guy who hired us to kill the Wolf of Sparta, himself an Athenian? Because you’re right that it seems pretty odd to kill a bunch of Athenians while attempting to help the Athenians by getting rid of the Spartan general (though war is a complex matter!), but I’m not sure Elpenor is actually on the Athenian SIDE, exactly. I think maybe he was just a merchant who was annoyed by the war’s interference with his trading, or something.

Anyway, you’re absolutely right, we’re now working for the Spartans, with a lot of question marks and much-more-reasonably-leveled challenges all around. I went and recovered a stolen wax tablet with some plans or something, and then I found a fort where I need to sneak in and burn some supplies, but I didn’t finish that. Apparently we’re supposed to weaken the entire region of Mageris to the point that the Spartans can take over? This “nation power” mechanic suggests we’re going to be basically taking over all the regions one by one until we rule Greece (ha, good luck, no one ever tried that!), but we’ll see how it goes.

Butch:

Ah, good. We’re at the same place. Main story wise, anyway. I cannot speak for side quests.

Told you there’d still be question marks.

Oh, right. I just assumed that he wanted Wolfie dead because war. But I just remembered….

This is AC game! Right? RIGHT!

So who the fuck knows. We certainly do know that bloodlines matter (no way that he hired her to kill her own dad by accident, cuz AC), weird alien shit happens, and people have motives, man. MOTIVES.

There was that line: Kassandra: “I’m not an assassin.” Him: “First time for everything.”

I mean, shit. Right? I’m right when I say I mean, shit.

It does suggest that we’re going to try to take over Greece, which makes me a tad nervous. It’s kinda reminiscent of Mafia 3, where you had to weaken dudes, kill the boss, take over the area over and over and that got tedious, didn’t it? I have a real fear that each zone will be “Destroy this, steal that, kill him, boss fight,” and that’s a lot of regions in which to do that. That bullshit distracted from the main story of Mafia 3 (which was a good main story), and I don’t want this game to fall into the same trap.

Feminina:

You’re right…there’s no way Elpenor just accidentally happened to hire the Wolf’s daughter to go kill the Wolf. There’s some larger plot in play here! Possibly involving aliens and/or French Canadians! It’s gonna be great.

And I did notice that the guy we talked to is the Wolf’s son, but his adopted son rather than Alexios…who I nevertheless still suspect is out there somewhere. We shall see. We’re gonna love it.

Butch:

I, too, expect Alexios.

Though I was thinking…

Kassandra and Alexios both had THEIR blood on that spear, right? Which means eventually they’re gonna get stabbed by it. Both of them. Right?

Feminina:

That is rather the implication. Sibling rivalry, man.

I mean, in theory there could be, say, skin cells from one of them worn into the wood, and blood from the other who got stabbed, but in practice…seems likely they’re both going to be getting stabbed at some point.

Or maybe they’re both wounded and bleeding and they collapse on top of the spear? I mean, there are countless scenarios that COULD explain it.

But somehow, one rather suspects they’re both going to get stabbed.

Butch:

Well, one of the necessary narrative conceits of all AC games is knowing that the person you’re playing is gonna die. This game takes place 3000 years ago or so, so even if Kassandra lived to be 97, she ain’t around today. Thus, her getting stabbed by the magical spear wouldn’t be all that surprising.

Nor would her becoming an assassin. There’s got to be a reason that the hipsters are looking at her. This isn’t some “Oh, hey, found this old spear, got some blood on it, wonder who it is?”

I played some to catch up.

Found that guy’s tablet. Found another tablet that says “a contract to kill someone. The description sounds a lot like you” (which, let’s face it, how can “Kill the hot ‘n’ sassy one NOT be me?” I kid, it doesn’t say that. Or does it?) Magpied. Found good loot. Found out, mercifully, that bandit camps are often Athenian, and raiding them lowers the defense thing. Killed, like, four dudes, got loot, lowered the meter.

Here’s a thing: You find any of those note things that pop up in “location objectives?” I’ve found a couple, and they seem like treasure maps, don’t they? Or, at least, treasure riddles? Haven’t made heads or tails of them. You?

Feminina:

Yeah, they definitely seemed specifically interested in this particular spear, hence presumably the particular people whose blood they expected to find on it.

Although honestly, with a murder tool, is that really the best approach? I mean, the thing exists to stab people. And as we see, it gets used for this A LOT. There’s going to be A LOT of peoples’ blood on it. I suppose our modern-day protagonists could be following up on ancient legends saying that the last people to be stabbed with this weapon were proto-Assassins or whatever, but otherwise, they could be digging up DNA from half of ancient Greece.

Hm.

Yes, I’ve found a couple of those notes. Also can’t make much of them. Perhaps it will be explained later.

Also, speaking of finding things, have you found any “aenigmata ostraka” or whatever? I see them on location objectives, but haven’t found any. Even the one back at Morkos’ vineyard. For shame.

Butch:

Well, hipster assistant did say “Hey, it was hard to isolate these two from everything on it.” There. Plot hole filled. Which I must point out because that’s likely the only time I’ll be able to say that in this game.

Dude, that’s exactly what I’m talking about! Those notes!

What did YOU find?

Feminina:

Oh, OK, then I haven’t found any. I found some random piece of parchment or something that showed up in my inventory.

Well, maybe once you get a lot of them, you can assemble them into some coherent directions to treasure?

Butch:

Nah, they’re all like, well, the one I just found is “It’s dangerous out there, so I don’t leave often. When I do, I go northwest of the battlefield in the occupied forest. There you will find me at the feet of the wine god himself!”

Like…..ok?

One was “Blah blah Odysseus went north from his temple and did…whatever…there you will find your reward on a slaughtered goat.”

So they seem to be little “find cool shit” riddles. I guess.

Ikaros will highlight them, like treasure chests. Next time you’re in a place with one, just eagle eye all around until he sees something that pops as a little scroll thingy. Or, he usually will. He seems to do a better job with it when they’re out in the open. Caves? Less so.

Feminina:

Ah, Ikaros. I need to use him more often. I think I did find one of those, then…definitely something with a cryptic little message, that showed up as a tablet-looking thing? And yeah, if it mentions ‘reward’ you figure there has to be treasure involved. I’ll…look into those. When I run out of question marks.

Butch:

Oh, dude. Ikaros is KEY. Love that birdie. I use him all the time.

Only annoyance is when I accidentally find the wrong quest. “Ah, there’s what I need.” Why is it surrounded by level 20 guys? You don’t need that yet! REALLY!

Just let Femmy deal with that shit.

Feminina:

Yeah! I’ll sneak right in there, steal the level 22 weapon from the chest, and run off! Completely useless mission accomplished!

Butch:

Well, at least your endgame won’t drag.

Game: Raid that camp!
Femmy: Done.
Game: Kill that guy!
Femmy: So ahead of you.
Game: Climb that mountain!
Femmy: What, that one I did on level six?
Game: Build that fence!
Femmy: ………….shit.

Feminina:

Siiiiiiigh…fine, I’ll build the fence. And feed the cows.

Freakin’ epilogues, man. RDR2 ruined the concept for everyone.

Butch:

Might as well just build the fence now. Though it’s likely a level 38 fence.

Feminina:

Hotmail’s suggested replies:

“That’s what I was thinking.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“That’s a good idea.”

So…yeah. I was thinking of that bad-good idea! I guess I’ll do it or not do it according to my hard-thought decision.

At least the level 38 fence should keep the damn boars off me. Seriously, I walked onto the shore and they attacked! That was really my first clue that the whole region was too tough for me.

The Pigs of Warning. “Come back later, you fool!”

Obviously, I ignored them. But they meant well! Trying to kill me was for my own good, really.

Butch:

HA! The pigs of warning.

Heed the pigs of warning!

T SHIRT!!!!

Maybe you just bumped into them. I’ve been trying SO HARD not to bump into anyone because RDR2 conditioned me to think the merest bump was an invitation to a gunfight. This is very difficult when there’s dudes EVERYWHERE. My damn boat! Like, where do they all sleep? Where do they all go to the bathroom?

Every time I bump I’m all “AIEE! NO I DON’T WANT TO FIGHT oh you’re cool.”

RDR, man. Made me neurotic.

Feminina:

Ha! So true.

“No, sorry, don’t attack I just–oh. Right. I’m the captain. OUT OF MY WAY, losers!”

Some earlier AC games had a mechanic where you had to walk carefully through the streets because they’d always be filled with people carrying boxes, and if you bumped them they’d instantly drop their boxes which would instantly shatter into crumbs, and then they’d be mad at you, and they wouldn’t attack you or anything, but if enough people were mad at you the guards would notice.

I certainly haven’t seen that here.

Ha…there would also be groups of minstrels in the cities that if they spotted you would run up and swarm around you, playing lutes and singing and potentially attracting the guards’ attention unless you flung some gold at them. Then in AC Brotherhood there was a storyline where you had to beat up some minstrels and steal their clothes and pretend to be a minstrel yourself, and Ezio said “minstrels…I’m going to enjoy this,” and it was totally awesome, because we all hated those damn minstrels and loved him for hating them too.

Good times, man. Good times.

Butch:

I remember them! I remember in AC4 you could use them and other crowds as cover!

Though the boxes are just weird.

Feminina:

Yes, hiding in crowds was a nice mechanic which doesn’t seem to be available here. Though the cities are in general much smaller and there aren’t really “crowds” in the same way, so I guess it sort of makes sense.

Butch:

“I’m hiding in this crowd of soldiers….so I can assassinate soldiers.”

“HEY! Who killed Kevin?”
“Dunno, boss.”
“Who’s that behind you, other Kevin?”
“Uh….not sure. But she sure is glowing blue.”
“Oh, well. Can’t see her then. Hey! Who killed other other Kevin?”

Feminina:

Alas, it was never quite that easy. I could only ever hide in crowds of civilians, and if you assassinate too many of them, you desynchronize.

Not that I’ve ever accidentally stabbed minstrels to death when I meant to throw them coins, or anything.

Butch:

 

Odd Naming Conventions

Tags

challenge level, making games, mechanics, Red Dead Redemption 2

Minor spoilers for near the beginning of Red Dead Redemption 2

Butch:

Well, got to Valentine, and instantly started liking the game a whole lot more. It’s amazing what quest markers will do for a game. I still feel like we’re kinda in the hinterlands here, but NOW I feel like a damn cowboy. No snow, quests, saloons, MUCH better. Did the “High society” quasi tutorial. Decided that a mechanic every game should have is chase scenes that end with the target just crashing if you don’t catch them. Would’ve made a couple missions in mafia better.

Did that, bought a newspapaer, unlocked another cheat-

Hmm? What’s that you say? You didn’t know about cheats? Cheats! Not using them yet, but yes. Cheats. I have to say, I was very nervous that this game doesn’t have the ability to lower the difficultly until I discovered the cheats. Good to know they’re there.

I have twelve metric shit tons of stuff to say about theme, but I also have a cold and I have to go take my car in for service and recalls and shit, so I’m back on the phone after this, so I’ll hold off on the theme. But, as we really must get back to bloggage, I’ll chuck this out there for now:

SEMI RANT!

So during Shadow we talked on how it’s kinda silly when games go for realism when they also have supernatural shit. Well, it’s also silly, and, really, inexplicable, when a game goes for realism, CAPTURES so damn much realism so very well, then does weird things to muck it up. Here: They’re in the rockies, right? They are. They went east, and now they’re in the heartland. IT’S THE ROCKIES. So why call it the Grizzlies? Who do they think they’re fooling? Why do they feel the need to fool anyone? I read the newspaper, and it refers to “President MacAllister.” Why not just say “McKinley?” I can see if you were doing some alternate history, but having President McKinley in there and just calling him MacAllister and winking at the audience all “Yeah, we know, we’re being cheeky” is just weird. It’s not like “Rocky Mountains” is copyrighted. It’s not like they have to pay McKinley’s estate.

I had the same issues with “New Bordeaux.”

And before anyone is all “But there wasn’t an Arthur Morgan in the real Rockies” who cares? My kids just played the Spider Man game, and that takes place in New York. Not “New Amsterdam but it’s really New York.” New York. Geography and all. No one said “This game sucks! I’ve been to New York and there’s no Spider man there!” It’s a fictional work in a real place, which has been part of fiction since fiction was invented.

Changing details JUST ENOUGH is just precious and cheeky and completely unnecessary.

Ok, rant over.

Feminina:

I would definitely like more chase scenes to end in crashes if I don’t catch the target. That would be just fine.

I bought a newspaper, but I didn’t see a cheat code. Maybe I bought the wrong one.

I also wondered about the whole naming of things issue. Why, indeed, do so much to get the historical details looking so accurate–YOU! are living in history! in the real live American West! in 1899!–and then throw in the fact of “oh, and also this is an alternate universe where major geographical regions were named differently and important historical figures are ever-so-slightly off.”

I mean…what’s the point? As you say, it’s not as if they’re dealing with copyright issues here, and setting fictional events in real places is a long, long, long-standing tradition. Why not use the real Rocky Mountains and make up a few small towns? Is anyone going to sue? I imagine the worst that can happen is that you get some details wrong and put a bunch of seedy liquor stores in downtown Concord or something and a few bloggers make snarky comments. And after 120 years, the odds of even that are pretty darn low.

The crossover between people who are playing this game and people who are ardent American West historians and would be able to identify the precise area you’re claiming was Valentine and point out that actually this was a major military training ground in that year, is not likely to be large. Whereas the crossover between people who are playing this game and people who are aware that there is no range of mountains called the Grizzlies is…actually quite large indeed. I mean, people are bad at geography, but even so.

Possibly this is the same universe as GTA, and so since GTA’s cities are thinly veiled versions of actual cities (perhaps for the somewhat logical reason that there’s a large crossover between people who play those games and people who know the cities in question and would get nitpicky about the architecture or whatever), they figured the entire country should also be a thinly veiled version of itself? Only with the same name? I don’t think that necessarily follows, but…just grasping at straws here.

The other thing I can think of that could make it make sense is if they plan to extend this franchise forward into the more recent past and at some point include events that everyone knows didn’t happen, like “in 1977, the aliens invaded, and ever since we’ve been trying to convince them to buy our excess soybeans” or something, and build on that as they move into other games. But I would tend to doubt this is the case.

In short, I don’t know, but I agree with you that it nags at one, slightly.

SOOOOOOO realistic and accurate! Except when it’s obviously, intentionally, unrealistically wrong and inaccurate on major details.

Maybe they’re just trying to cover themselves in case minor details are also wrong.

Like nitpick deterrent: “Hey, we clearly did some stuff wrong on purpose, so how do you know that little error you just noticed wasn’t also intentional? Don’t bother bringing it to our attention, we already know and it’s part of our larger plan. President MacAllister signed off on it personally.”

Butch:

Well, if it’s nitpick deterrent, it backfired.

I’m gonna be at this car dealer all day. At least the coffee is acceptable.

Ok, cheats.

If you bought a paper from the guy in valentine, it has one.

See, I found this cryptic message in the Adler estate, way back in chapter one. I puzzled over it. I thought it was some clue to something. Couldn’t make heads or tails of it. And then, poking through the menus as I do, I find the cheat screen, everything locked. I fiddled, and it’s all “invalid cheat phrase.” “Phrase?” I think. So I punch in the weird phrase from the estate and voila.

So now, I see a weird phrase I try it. And there was a weird phrase on the very bottom of the back page of the paper.

It does not say “cheat code.” It’s just there looking weird.

Feminina:

It did kind of backfire. At least with us. I’d have to read more reviews to see if anyone else was annoyed, but I’m probably not going to get around to doing that.

OK…weird phrase, menu, cheat screen. I’ll be sure to get right on that.

Check back in a couple of weeks and see if I’ve remembered it. I’m probably too busy going to vaudeville shows in the big city.

What, exactly, are the cheat codes for? Anything we actually care about?

Butch:

There isn’t a menu option per se. On one screen, either help, story or player, there’s an option at the bottom to hit triangle for cheats. That calls up the screen.

I think they’re there in lieu of an easier difficulty, sort of a “break glass in case of reaper moment.” You can toggle them on and off. The two I have are “unlock a suite of stealth weapons” and “unlimited ammo” (that’s the one in the newspaper). Could be handy. There’s about twenty I haven’t unlocked.

I kinda like that. Instead of just “easy,” it lets you pick what advantages you want, to tailor how easy. Nice.

Vaudeville? Wait, you’re in a big city? How much have you played?

Feminina:

It is kind of nice. Sort of along the same lines as setting the difficulty for different aspects separately, as we just talked about with SotTR. Having problems with just one thing that drives you bonkers and makes you want to quit the game? Make that one thing less difficult!

I’ll be sure to check it out.

I haven’t played all that much, but once you get past the tutorial sections you can pretty much go wherever you want, and I sort of accidentally ended up on a train to the big city. While there, I obviously decided to take in a vaudeville show, because I enjoy fine entertainment as much as the next grizzled outlaw.

Butch:

Oh dear. You can magpie by train?

You’re doomed.

Did you get the biography of a gunslinger quest?

Feminina:

I did get that quest! And that’s exactly what sent me wandering off looking for other gunslingers to interview, and ending up on a train. It’ll happen to you too!

We’re doomed.

Butch:

I have a feeling I’ll have some stuff to say about that quest.

Still at the car dealership.

Feminina:

I can’t imagine why you would. It’s a nonevent, really. Nothing at all there about lies or legends or history and who writes it.

Butch:

And someone with a thing for pigs.

Feminina:

Yeeeesss…the pigs. Haven’t talked to him yet. Anxious to get his side of the story.

Butch:

I’m looking forward to anything at this point as I am still at the car dealership.

Well, at least there are no kids here. And I read a whole magazine.

Feminina:

Hey, sitting quietly reading a magazine! That’s a refreshing change of pace!

It’s gonna be great.

Common Ground: Within Reach?

Tags

booze, challenge level, fashion, mechanics, Shadow of the Tomb Raider

 

No spoilers. Not totally loving this new WordPress posting interface.

Butch:

I got nothing. Home for a day and a half and my soul is already crushed. I was gonna play last night, really I was, but Junior lost an important assignment and I had to drive back to school (I mention that’s far away?) to NOT find it, then had to talk forever about what to do next, etc. Cuz parenting.

And I have a cold.

But it’s cool. Cuz today I have nothing but time oh who am I kidding I have to go to the dentist to have something done that will most certainly be awful.

I miss Vermont.

And games. I miss those, too.

Try not to finish TR. Is it good?

Feminina:

The dentist will be practically instantaneous! You’ll be home in no time, feeling great and ready to play!

Positive thinking. I’m doing my best to put it to work for you.

The game is pretty good so far. I’m still not VERY far into it, as I haven’t been playing every day either, but there’s some fun climbing, some rather intense dramatic scenes, some hints at larger plot (Trinity, etc.).

If only the hair were more lifelike, it would be really great…

Butch:

Ok, finally home, and numb as anything so nothing to do but play.

Never mind. Not playing. Loaded it up, did all the graphic stuff, and the glare from the window is such that it’s just wrecking it.

Cuz it looks so good!

Gotta wait until sunset.

I’ll play tonight.

But DAMN man, you gotta get the whole 4K deal. It’s NIIIIIICE.

Feminina:

Oh, man! Curse you, daylight!

Butch:

Hey, if it’s gonna start all dramatic on a black screen, I want it to be the way it’s supposed to be.

Feminina:

Indeed, indeed.

Blackout curtains! Install them now!

Butch:

Tell me about it.

Played Mafia with the shades up. Playboys and all. Mrs. McP was thrilled.

Feminina:

I’ll bet she was. She wants to be sure passersby are aware of the breadth of your literary and journalistic explorations.

For science. She’s into science.

Butch:

I do often forget that it’s really easy to see my TV from the street.

Really easy.

Ah, well. What do you expect from weird gamers?

Feminina:

Pretty much exactly this, I would think. But then, what do I know? I don’t pretend to understand the mysterious minds of people who don’t play video games.

Butch:

Why would we want to understand such weirdos?

Feminina:

It’s hard to imagine we’d have much to talk about. I mean, unless they like booze and burlap lingerie.

So come to think of it, perhaps the gulf is not so wide after all!

There IS hope for communication!

Butch:

Well, yes. EVERYONE likes burlap lingerie.

Feminina:

Or if they don’t, all hope of cordial relations between us are truly lost.

Unless the pear brandy can save us!

Butch:

And the nudity.

I’m so sorry I didn’t play.

Ok, here’s a game thing.

So what difficulty level are you playing TR on? I heard it’s a better game on hard, or, at least, if you set “Exploration” and “Puzzles” to hard. But you know how I feel about hard.

(It is VERY cool that you can set difficulty levels for different things differently. Nice when you can say something is very cool before you even start.)

Feminina:

I thought about those options! But in the end I just left them all on the middle setting, because I didn’t feel confident that I would enjoy it more on ‘hard.’ Although we’ve played enough of these games that ‘hard’ would probably be workable for us.

But I do like that you can adjust the difficulty of the different aspects independently, that’s a very nice feature. Maybe I like combat to be difficult, but don’t really feel like bashing my head on puzzles, or vice versa! Cool to have the option to change one without automatically setting the other to the same level.

Butch:

Yeah, when I read that the game is better when you’re exploring on hard, or doing puzzles on hard, my thought was “Yes, but dying all the time would suck.” And now I don’t have to!

I’ll probably start on all things normal. One can always change it later. I checked.

So there ya go! I don’t need to play! I can comment positively on the options!

And the very nice graphics on the load screen.

HDR. 4K. A pro.

It’s amazing.

Neighbors From Alternate Universes

Tags

challenge level, combat, companions, Divinity: Original Sin, plot, story, XP

Spoilers for Hunter’s Edge and some other Phantom Forest locations in Divinity: Original Sin

Butch:

Well, levels still matter.

Got to level 17 in Hunter’s Edge there, fighting side by side with friendly maniacs. And, upon returning to the phantom forest last night, that fight with the zombies and shit that kept killing me was cake. Cake, I say! Maybe it was the gear, but there was certainly a difference.

XP. You always get it when you don’t need it.

T SHIRT!!!

Anyway, did that, talked to a bunch of creepy assed tree people, got into a fight with a bunch of ghostly poachers who I WOULD have beat if I hadn’t lost track of their damn boar, and if they hadn’t been clued into the rule that if Scarlett and Roderick both die I lose (SHOOT BAIRDOTR FOR FUCK’S SAKE!). So I skirted around them upon reloading, found the Cassandra temple thingy there, it tells me I can’t get it unless I’m dead, and I’m not dead, and all that. So I putzed around trying to find a trick and found no trick. At least I disabled all the sentries so I don’t have to listen to them being all “INTRUDER SPIED!” even though I disabled their damn lava things.

And then I called it a day and made dinner.

Did I miss a trick? Have you gotten in there? Cuz I dunno.

I’m curious about this, you see. You know that I’m still going with “death” being “cured.” (I so wish you had done Jahan’s deal!) “Death” means “getting sane.” So having to be “dead?” Hmm.

Anyway, couldn’t figure it out last night. You?

Feminina:

We were just puttering around the Phantom Forest fighting those ghosts yesterday! Against all odds, are we back in the same place at the same time?

We’ve only poked around the edges of the temple as well. We’re kind of thinking that the rune stone we got from Balberith’s corpse will allow us to enter even though we’re not dead (the spirit made it sound as if that were the case), but we haven’t found a way in yet either, so we haven’t actually tried that out.

Did you meet Cassandra herself?

Butch:

Ah, man! I still haven’t killed Barbereth! Just heard Jahan’s monologue and died. He’s level 19! He was what got me the “You best flee” prompt.

I don’t think this was the main source temple thingy. This was just a little square bit with four sentinels with lava who were easy to get by, and a lever that didn’t do much cuz I’m not dead. I got the sense from the rune stone thingy was to get into the main, end game, meet Leandra source temple. This seems to be the Cassandra side quest bit. Or something. It certainly doesn’t LOOK all main endgame etc.

And no, I have not met Cassandra herself. I sorta thought she’d be past this “gotta be dead” lever. She isn’t?

Must poke around more.

If you’re at that square, sentinel lever place, we are standing in exactly the same spot.

No. Way.

Feminina:

OK, we’re not EXACTLY there. We’re around the corner from that wall where there’s a big weird-looking statue made of branches or something, and if you step on the trapped panels in the floor around it you instantly burn to ash.

I accidentally discovered a trick for that, if you need any spoilery mechanical tips.

Oh, and yeah, good point, this isn’t the end-game temple, is it? And that IS the one the rune stone was about. Hm. So we have to figure out how to get into a place we have to be dead to get into.

My first thought was to summon an undead soldier and send him in, but they last such a short time outside of combat (or inside of combat, but it seems longer inside). Unlikely we’d have time to send one in to do…whatever.

Maybe Jahan is technically dead and we can send him in?

Maybe WE’RE technically dead and can walk in ourselves but will have to leave our companions. I mean, we know there’s a lot that’s weird about the PCs. Maybe we’re not actually alive, strictly speaking.

Hm. First we’ve got to find the door.

Butch:

That we do. Indeed, the log said “This puts us in a bit of a pickle….” Yes, yes it does.

HA! I did that, too! Didn’t work. I even had Bairdotr stand right by the lever, and pull it right away, and nada. Anyway, I’m not sure what I’d’ve done. Can’t give him the pyramid.

Oooo! Didn’t think of Jahan.

And on Jahan and pyramids, forgot to tell you: He did NOT like the pyramids. He got ALL about demons and that’s demon shit (paraphrasing) and it was evil and all sorts of shit. Which was kinda surprising. Like, dude, they haven’t given me any trouble….they’re just a game mechanic, right?

But, well, I got the sense that the circle there with the lever WAS the door. Cuz it was when I pulled the lever that a) all the dead stuff on top of it disappeared and b) Scarlett was all “I guess I have to be dead” (paraphrasing) and the log updated. So I think we have to be standing there, pull the lever, while, somehow, dead.

It’s that last bit that’s tricky…..

And where you are… Yeah. Uh….haven’t found that. At all.

But I can’t wait. Ash. Great.

Do they also annoyingly say “INTRUDER SPIED” over and over?

Feminina:

Miraculously, no–this one does not say that. But it’s right around in that same area. You’ll find it soon. We’re probably about 50 feet apart, in-game.

We should make our characters wave. “Hi alternate selves!”

Butch:

That would be kinda awesome. Your Scarlett would be all “I’m SO much hotter in his game” and she’d be sad.

That INTRUDER SPIED stuff was both annoying and silly once I disarmed the traps. Then they just kept looking at me, sternly saying that, and doing nothing. “Yeah, yeah. I see you seeing me! You can stop now!”

Feminina:

Ah, see, I only know we have to be dead because one of the tree corpses said so. Also someone else that we ran into that you’ll undoubtedly run into soon enough.

We haven’t disarmed the lava yet…we walked past it when we first got to the Phantom Forest, went around, talked to people, and were on our way back to check out the lava steps again when we got to this trap-floor branch-statue place first.

But it is right around the corner. We’ll be there soon.

Butch:

Ah. Well, spoiler. You have to be dead. And there’s a lever.

One of the great mysteries: Remember WAAAAAAY back in that cave? The levers and the pipes? In Cyseal?

We’ll never know.

Feminina:

Levers! You have spoiled the discovery of the lever! That’s it, I’m not playing this game anymore.

Butch:

It’s quite a lever.

You can pull it.

Feminina:

Oh, well, if you can PULL it…fine, I’ll keep playing.

Butch:

Best kind of lever, really.

There’s even a couple of buttons. You can push those.

Feminina:

Amazing! I’m so there!

Butch:

If Wolgraff could talk, he’d probably be saying “Like, guys, can one of you learn the invisibility trick? I mean, happy to do it, but it’s kinda stressful, all this ‘get past the deadly lava trap before it counts down from five.’ I have other skills, you know.”

To which Scarlett would say “Dude, until you learn not to drive your bomb exoskeleton in such a way that it doesn’t draw an attack of opportunity when it’s right next to all of us, we’ll talk about your other skills. In the meantime, get in there.”

Feminina:

Yeah, that bomb skeleton is an awesome but dangerous trick. It pops into existence so CLOSE! We’ve all been burned more than once by it getting hit while it was still right next to us.

But when it works out, it’s so satisfying!

Bomb toddles up to some monster, stands there invitingly. Monster hits it. BOOM.

Is there anything more delightful?

I actually have the invisibility trick, but Wolgraff’s lasts longer, so it’s still on him.

Butch:

Plus, the little laugh it makes is truly, truly awesome. Such a wonderful sound effect. You generally don’t notice that sort of thing, but isn’t that just perfect?

Feminina:

Uh…probably? I hadn’t noticed.

You know me so well.

Butch:

That insane “Hee hee. hee hee hee.”

Frankly, it’s how I feel inside when using the thing vocalized.

Feminina:

Oh right, that. Just its normal noise. I thought maybe I’d missed some specific “I’m exploding now!” noise.

I wouldn’t be surprised. Missing noises is what I do.

Butch:

Well, played some.

Met Cassandra, found the mute boar that made Wolgraff all “MY QUEST!” Did you meet him? Killed a couple of void demons which made me feel good about myself. Didn’t kill the ghost poachers which didn’t make me feel good about myself. Discovered a waypoint so at least I can go shopping and come back. Failed entirely to find a way into the Cassandra gotta be dead place, but I figure that’s how to make her vulnerable. Found a bigassed head that spoke in tongues, and learned that I need a relic to talk to same. Have no relic. You find that?

I THINK I found the step on lava bit that you mentioned. Is it behind gates? Gates that are, at least for me, very much locked? Cuz they locked. I did see little plates under pictures of fire, but they were on the other side of said locked gates.

Basically, met Cassandra, found a head. I’m starting to think I really, really have to kill that demon to do much of anything. Though it sure feels like I should be able to do Cassandra/tomb/all that shit before Barberith. Cassandra is level 18 (once I can hit her) and Barberith is 19, and the gotta be dead temple is closer to the entrance than the abandoned shack.

So we’re missing something.

And fuck if I know about the big head. It seemed to be the same language as the weird shit by the Knight’s tomb in Hunter’s Edge.

Compare notes! Cuz I’m even more confused.

Feminina:

Big…head? OK, now I’M confused. I don’t remember a big head!

I also don’t remember having to go through any locked gates to reach the trapped area we’re near right now, although maybe something we did unlocked them…I guess?

Hm. Well, let’s both keep poking around and we’ll probably stumble onto whatever it is we’ve both missed.

As for Cassandra, yeah, interesting. And poor Arhu there in the cage, all “please don’t make me be human full time, that would be horrible!” Another crushing moral decision awaits. As soon as we find whatever that thing is that she wants, which may be a while.

We indeed met the mute pig, and then, because we love Wolgraff and care about his concerns, unlike you, you monster, we immediately followed up on it and went downhill in the direction indicated. At least Wolgraff will get to participate in the conclusion of his own story arc!–we vowed.

I shall not spoil what followed. You’ll get there. It’s 19th level, so maybe don’t go there immediately. We were 18, and it was a tough-ish fight, though we managed it on the second try. Levels matter!

Butch:

Dude. Big. Head. Indeed, “Titan head.” It’s a big, stone thing that looks like it fell off a really big statue. You can even see it on the map. You go up, it highlights, you hit use, it talks to you in gibberish, you say “I guess we need a relic.” It’s just a step north of the gotta be dead temple.

I’d tell you more, but I have no relic.

Well, were there iron gates? Cuz if there were, you have something that unlocks them. Likely the rune you took off Barberith. I do not have that.

Big. Head.

Might be useless, I dunno. No relic.

Oh, that wasn’t obvious? Cuz she was all “The spirit will know,” and you freed the spirit, right? Shit. More to do. Game is large.

Heh…I am a monster. Especially as I said “Yes! We shall charge forth and resolve your quest!” and then screwed up, went the wrong way, met Cassandra, and completely didn’t follow up at all.

GOD DAMN IT! I’m always the bridesmaid, aren’t I?

At least I’m a damn good looking bridesmaid.

Feminina:

Being good-looking is some consolation.

I think the spirit does know, it’s just that we haven’t been back to talk to the spirit since we met Cassandra. We had JUST been there trying unsuccessfully to provoke Jahan into recognizing the end of his story arc, and we kind of felt like “nah, don’t need to go back there again right this minute.”

There’s no waypoint nearby, and there are those exploding eyeball things along the way…it’s just a hassle to travel there, you know? Like going to the south shore. Meh. We’ll go. Eventually. After we find the Titan Head.

Which…I’m beginning to think we aren’t in the same area at all, except we have to be, because we’re talking about a lot of the same landmarks (ghost fight, Cassandra, lava steps) but not all of them.

Butch:

“Being good-looking is some consolation.”

Phenomenal T SHIRT!!!!!!

HA! “END YOUR DAMN STORY!”

Some people just won’t.

yes, the south shore. Which also has exploding eyes.

At least there’s a waypoint there by Wolgraff and Cassandra and the titan head. Still, I’ll go see if I can find the thing that’ll let us actually get something out of the titan head first.

I saw the lava things (I think) I just couldn’t get there. Pressure plates? Under signs with fire on them? In, like, a stone maze/courtyard kinda place? Void demons outside?

The titan head was one of those things you had to get close to to highlight (like the lever cave way back when) or you can totally miss it. I found it merely cuz I was hugging the wall, sneaking, trying not to die. It’s there, I promise.

Feminina:

Sneaking and trying not to die…that sounds like the Phantom Forest, all right.

Or the south shore.

Butch:

At least the void demons aren’t so hard. They freeze easy. XP!

Feminina:

XP! Love it. Maybe Jahan would open up if we brought him along to freeze demons.

Missed opportunity!

I mean, honestly, he’s basically told us his story at this point. Was king of noble land, scorned all ladies, met THE AWESOMEST lady, fell ill, summoned a demon to tell him why he was ill, demon revealed it was THE AWESOMEST lady (the horror!!!), made a deal with the demon to be cured but demon now has power over him, has been traveling the world for ages hunting demon.

And, as of the first thing he said to us when he joined, but which he himself has apparently forgotten, is now FREE! The demon’s hold is broken!

He just won’t stop brooding about it. Because he apparently can’t remember that his story is over. MOVE ON, dude.

Yeah, yeah, you’ve spent a millennium thinking about this one thing, but it’s done! Accept that! Pick a new hobby!

Although…put him in some heavy armor, and that brooding obsession with his dark and troubled past could make him VEEEEERY attractive. He’s a little more of a jerk than I generally like–I prefer brooding, angsty, mournful types to brooding, grumpy, snappish ones–but…there certainly aren’t any better options at the moment.

Off to increase his strength so he can wear plate mail.

Butch:

Yeeeessssss……he did say that, didn’t he? Yes….yes he did…..He did do that….

There is, of course, a wrinkle to that. That doubtless will have either a choice or a result based on things I don’t remember doing which I will confront when I go there intentionally and don’t die.

Wrinkle. There’s a wrinkle. That I’d spoil, but I don’t know how it ends cuz died. I’ll spoil when I don’t die.

There you go! See? He’s even bearded! You LOVE that! LOVE IT!

But remember when I said “I see how they can do sequels even if I’m right about Scarlett? At least got when he said “My Rivellon.” MY. And then doubled down: “A Rivellon you cannot see…can never see.” Which is completely consistent with people here having their own delusions, insane people talking, incorporating each other into their own delusionary worlds. And before you say “Wait, how can the sequel take place in Rivellon,” you can continue the metaphor of Rivellon=delusion just fine.

After all, the idea that Scarlett is nuts isn’t really the metaphor. The metaphor is Scarlett is Eve and Eve was nuts. That WANTING to stay in Eden, feeling punished for leaving Eden, that even considering that sin was bad and knowledge was bad was, well, nuts. That Eve should’ve been dancing the happy dance, and that Scarlett, who is crazy by “real world” standards, is really the one who’s right: Sin is good. Sin works. We should all embrace our own “insanity,” our own misconception that Eden is paradise. Rivellon’s more fun.

So you can take the “Rivellon’s a delusion” and apply that to any narrative where you’re putting a twist on any accepted real world concept and it would be good.

That said, I highly doubt that we’ll get any clear resolution that I’m right or wrong. I don’t anticipate Scarlett waking up in a hospital bed in Pittsburgh and the “reveal” happening. I think they’ll leave it sufficiently vague. Better metaphor that way.

Feminina:

Wrinkle, eh? Well, maybe that’s why he can’t let it go.

Siiiigh. I really kind of wish they’d worked harder to not let us complete peoples’ quests without them. I mean, I forgive. First game. We talked about that. But it’s really something I regret, unintentionally getting into all this stuff without people and never getting any resolution for it as a result.

Maybe I’ll put him in heavy armor and bring him around with us some more, and it will finally come out.

Or you’ll spoil once you don’t die. Either way.

Ah, Those Charming Murderous Raiders!

Tags

challenge level, character, Divinity: Original Sin, monsters, morality

Spoilers for Hunter’s Edge events in Divinity: Original Sin

Butch:

Here we go again.

Ok, so, what. I got some totem from Cordelia, only to find I can’t do anything with it without activating it. I have no idea how.

So I went to the phantom forest. Hooray. Promptly died. Went the other way. Died. Surrounded by all sorts of things that are level 17 and 18. I’m still 16. Did the sneaky. Found a spirit that told me all about the good spirit, her mentor, heard about Balberith. Good! Progress! Talked to the animals I freed. Nice! More sneaky. Found the swamp. Sneaky around more monsters I couldn’t kill. Found Barberith! Talked to the spirit, learned what I had to to do to get into where I had to go. Progress! Barberith saw me. Didn’t die, because I got the “Yeah….you best run…” prompt.

Decided that I needed to kill shit and level. So went back to the place near hunter’s edge and picked gratuitous fights with a troll and some slavers and some spidery things. Won. Didn’t level. Found a statue with a scale. Put dinner and a pumpkin in it. Nothing happened.

And now here I sit, wondering what to do.

The game sure seems to WANT me to go to the phantom forest, but there’s nothing there but monsters I can’t kill.

I have open quests, but the only ones that don’t seem to involve the phantom forest are either the thread/story ones or the armory key, and I can’t find the guy that lost it. Or Cordelia’s totem.

So what do I do? I need hexagons. I’m stuck.

Feminina:

Oh man, we couldn’t find the armory key guy forever either. Turned out we were checking all the humans, and the guy who wants it is an orc. Doh. He’s in that house near the town center there, muttering to himself.

Or you could just give it to Grutilda!

I think she’d have him hanged for losing it, although we just gave it to him because…we’re nice like that, I guess?

I don’t know, the Hunter’s Edge stuff is weird because we’re kind of helping people, and kind of playing them against each other, and we don’t actually support either faction because they’re all terrible.

I think the best case scenario is they turn on each other and kill each other off. Probably we should actually be turning everyone in to Grutilda so she can hang a bunch of them.

Butch:

Oh yeah….that guy….in the house with the still, right?

Well, I think there’s a way to play them against each other. Someone, the undead guy, maybe? Was all “best to let them fight and weaken each other,” or some other game hinty thing.

But even if I do that, I’m still adrift without hexagons. What the hell do I DO??????

Or, shall I say, what do I do that I CAN do?

By the way…..

Once again, stumbled into the impossible end to a companion quest. I had Jahan with me, and…well…he said stuff…..

Have you run with him for a while? Any fights? Anything seem…off?

Feminina:

We haven’t fought much while Jahan’s been with us. A few spiders. Haven’t noticed anything odd about him so far. He fights like a wizard, which I am pretty good at, so we get along fine.

Have you talked to Jahrl about the murder of his dude and all that? That’s a thing you could…get involved with…

Also, so the end of Jahan’s quest was something you stumbled on that WASN’T Balberith? You led me to believe it was Balberith.

Butch:

Anything….like…have you had to use a resurrect on him?

Murder of his dude? Hmm. I…think? I found a dude with a horn next to him. But isn’t that the armory thing?

I certainly have to do something.

At least the fights I got into were fairly close. Fairly.

Feminina:

A resurrect…why no. Maybe I’ll get him killed on purpose next time to test it out.

The horn is not the armory dude, it’s the “all the bloodstones went missing and the two groups are blaming each other and Jahrl thinks one of the orcs murdered his dude who was supposed to be guarding them but Grutilda says he just ran off with the stones.” More or less.

Butch:

GAAAAAAAH!

Just played a ton.

Gave the armory key to the guy. He was happy. I talked to the lovers. They were happy.

And it was all short lived cuz I then gave the horn to the dude.

And…THAT happened. More than once, because I kept dying. And then it KEPT happening cuz I kept running into orcs. And I think there are still a couple left because the quest is still open.

But I won. And got mad loot. And got into the armory. And got more loot. And sold mad loot, and all that, as one does.

But you know what I didn’t do?

LEVEL that’s what. And c’mon! I KNOW I got XP this time! I HAD to have!

I JUST HAD TO! I mean, EVERYONE is dead! Grutilda was nasty! THAT SUCKED!

So now I’m back where I started. With better gear, more money, and THE SAME LEVEL.

I feel bad for the lovers. And for Hershel, who I can’t find.

But some good news: The reward for turning in the servants to the rat king was the key to the armory, and I got in anyway and they’re safe (cuz they left). And you know who made it? The silent dog and the cat! WHOO HOO!

But narrativeness:

This game spent a lot of time getting us invested in this place. Lots. We met the skeleton, the Ratcatcher, the executioner, did all the politics, there was Grutilda’s kid, there was STUFF man! We got to care about some of these characters! There were even star crossed lovers! And then the game killed the fuck out of all of them. Like, ALL of them. This didn’t seem to be avoidable, unless you just said fuck it and left.

And that, too, is a take on “sin is good.” Cuz why did this go nuts? Why did everyone die? Cuz we were trying to do the “right” thing! We told the truth! We wanted justice! We wanted to solve a murder! And we DID!

And that promptly got everyone killed. Lovers and all. We tried to make this situation work, and it just killed everyone. We should’ve just walked away. But the moment we pointed out an injustice, we destroyed everything. Everyone. Period.

Cuz I feel bad about this. I do. I kinda liked some of these characters. And now they’re dead.

AND I STILL HAVEN’T LEVELED!

Maybe I’ll go try to find the last couple of orcs.

Feminina:

Man, I’m sorry you still haven’t leveled. Sucks!

And…hm. I get what you’re saying about getting invested in that place and kind of liking some of those characters, but…hm. I found myself constantly remembering about all those characters “of course, these guys DID just murder everyone in this village.”

I mean, these are not nice people. I was actually pretty pleased when one of the factions killed the hell out of the other one (and like you, I ended up on the humans’ side, but honestly I didn’t really care). If there’s a way to pick a fight with the humans so we can murder the hell out of all of them too, I might just do it, although at the moment they’re still alive.

I mean, I did kind of like the star-crossed lovers, purely because they were star-crossed, and the humans all sounded like Sean Bean so I was naturally inclined to like them too, but they were not actually nice either. That repeated comment about how it was a waste to have killed all the women too, because now we have to depend on sheep, reminded us of that.

I wonder if maybe the whole point was to blur the line between villains and likeable characters and then forcibly remind us that these people are actually violent groups with their own agendas?

Butch:

I HAVE NO IDEA WHY I HAVEN’T LEVELED!!!!!

Was there even a way to do that? Side with the orcs?

True, true, these were bad people. But shit, I found myself even trying to save the spinebreaker.

It’s funny cuz they didn’t READ as bad people. Interesting counterpoint to our discussion yesterday (by the way, you’ve been doing just fine without a keyboard or time, blog wise) about presentation of people being important. We had no sympathy whatsoever for the disemboweler, but I did find some of these awful characters likeable.

You know, I’m sitting here pondering who I do like, or who I should like, and I notice that, objectively, this game does not have very many likeable people. Like, VERY few. If any. Arhu can’t be trusted. Zixzax either. Icara? Forget it. So who do we like? Bairdotr, I guess, but she, given half the chance, was more than ready to turn on us. Wolgraff seems ok, but he’s a thief and a scoundrel, and may turn out to be an asshole if he can talk (I haven’t figured his quest out yet, but I’m sure I’ll bumble into it soon, way before I’m ready). Jahan’s probably the biggest asshole NPC I’ve ever seen, and his quest does NOT make him more likeable.

This game is full of awful people.

We’ve even noted that we, the players, haven’t done anything particularly good. Scarlett and Roderick were patting each other on the back prematurely, for sure. Maybe we helped out Cyseal with the undead and all, but we bankrupted Silverglen, we got everyone killed in Hunter’s Edge (even the good guys, cuz I can’t find Herschel)…we suck. Shit, you’ve even left a trail of collateral damage behind you!

And, yes, sure, video game protagonists are, often, murderers and thieves and colonizers and all that, but at least they’re either rather likeable, or surrounded by likeable characters. We aren’t here, and yet we care about the characters in the game.

Hm.

Yeah, the casual horrific banter wasn’t so cool. They killed kids, for god’s sake. But…

I dunno. Maybe we judge based on both presentation and relative awfulness? Games are usually rather binary: good guys, bad guys. We don’t usually have a choice between bad guys and even worse guys, so we might be inclined to want to shoe horn the bad guys into the good guy category (or look the other way enough so we can do that) because SOMEONE has to be on that side of the scale, because games.

Maybe more than just “own agendas”…. Sinners and not. Relative sin.

But yeah ok, I see your point.

Just finished off the orcs. Ironic that the way I LEVELED was basically hanging back while mountain men did all the work. I try to actually DO something and no. But chillin’ in the back all “Hey guys! Nice work! I’ll just be here, drinkin’ a beer, tending the grill….” gets me leveled. Sigh.

But back to your point: Yeah, I thanked them, they thanked me, and then were all “well, gotta get some human blood! Good thing there are lots of hamlets to plunder!” and off they went.

Uh…thanks? For the XP? I think?

So, uh, good point. Hmmm.

At least I leveled.

Oh, and I did the bone totem thing and reunited those two undead folks. At least they were happy! I think. I hope.

Did you do that bone totem? I was intrigued by the bone totem.

Feminina:

Yeah, that was how we ended up. Just kind of chilling while the mountain men killed all the orcs. And I’m seriously inclined to go steal from them now just to provoke them so we can fight them before they raid a bunch more hamlets. Not cool, dudes.

Of course, then we’re left having to fight all of them, but if we provoke them in small groups maybe we can handle them…

Butch:

Oh, are they still there? I finished all that up by the knight’s tomb (VERY unclear that I had to follow everyone around everywhere, game. Gimme a hexagon!) and just didn’t go back there. Ah, well.

I now have, I think, five quick saves where I’m standing in the same place, because I start my sessions there, in the forest, watching a spider and a couple zombies playing nicely in their little ooze pit, and I think “I better do something else,” and then I come back there and save. Repeat.

But I think I’m out of stuff to do that isn’t fight those ooze dudes.

Companions Have Personal Lives, You Know

Tags

challenge level, combat, companions, Divinity: Original Sin, romance, story, theme

Some spoilers for Hunter’s Edge plot points in Divinity: Original Sin

Butch:

Ok, dude, we have a very different idea of what “instant death” is. I was all “Is the temple full of instant death?” and you said “no, just charm a lot.”

Dude.

So I went down there, and a thing gargled at me, and then big statues and death. And a lot of charm failed! So I thought “Maybe I just got unlucky on the charms I’ll try again I’m dead.” So I did the “make Wolgraff invisible” thing and got by the statues that I couldn’t charm no matter what you said. That worked! And I went up some stairs and….

Instant death. Like LITERAL instant death. Not “instant death” in the “this is a really tough, unwinnable fight” sense, but “ZAP you’re dead” instant death.

Not only were you metaphorically full of it, you were literally full of it.

I think there’s some maze thing working, because sometimes I got sorta into the room and sometimes I didn’t, but, each time, instant death. Eventually. And usually quite quickly. I’m sure the “warm/chilled” shit mattered, too. And I TRIED to figure it out, but I didn’t. Too much instant death. Any hints?

So no bloggage there. Unless we want to talk about the themes of a gargling statue and instant death.

So I went shopping. Went to Sacred Stone to grab some tenebrium weapons. Forgot to check if I could actually use them because of strength and Dexterity. Sigh.

And I went and talked to the geomancer in charge of the joint, and she was all bitchy, and I didn’t fight her, and said, “Why’d I do that?” But after that, Bairdotr says “Jareth must be here, I’m so afraid for him” and then ***Wolgraff puts his hand on her shoulder and hands her a note that says “no matter what, I’ll stand by your side*** (More on that in a bit)

And then I said “Well, there won’t be much bloggage, and it WAS my duty to make bloggage happen, but, shit, I want to accomplish SOMETHING today, so I might as well kill Jareth, what me being level 15 now and here and all,” so I went to do that….

And, what do you know? Bloggage.

Because, see, somewhere I picked up a point in “obedient,” which meant that I was no longer “independent,” but I wasn’t “obedient” either. So here’s how shit went down.

Jareth did his thing, and Bairdotr got all confused. Which is fine, because she did that the last time, and I said “He’s a snake!” and she agreed. So I said that again, and she said “Source Hunter, you’ve taught me so much, but I can’t….I just can’t….” and I thought “Crap, I’m going to lose her,” but….

****Wolgraff puts his hand on her shoulder and slips her a note. She reads it and smiles at him. He smiles back.****

And she says “I’m sorry, Jareth, I’m staying.” And fight, and killing of Jareth, and she’s still with me and quest over. And the quest log didn’t have anything to say about it other than “Jareth attacked us and we prevailed.” Not “Bairdotr and Wolgraff got engaged and you’re invited” or anything.

And I was all “The fuck just happened?” So I talked to Bairdotr and Wolgraff, and neither had any new dialog options. And they didn’t say anything to each other after the fight or anything.

So…that happened. And it’s the first time any interactions between the NPCs seem to matter. I told you they were getting all flirty, or that Wolgraff was getting into her, but I sure as hell didn’t expect it to matter.

And I’d ponder themes, and I am pondering themes, but I don’t know what exactly happened. Maybe that’s a theme.

Feminina:

OMG, that’s so adorable! And confusing. But in a way, cool that they have a relationship they don’t share with you. Usually companions are all about sharing their every personal issue with you so you can advise them and stuff, and it’s kind of awesome that these two have (apparently) worked out something between themselves that they don’t feel you need to be concerned with. Interesting.

Another way of reminding us, maybe, that there’s a bigger world, or several, than our own experience of this game. Hm.

As for the instant death, dude, I’m sorry. We must have been higher level when we went there. The statues were tough for us, and if they actually hit us it was pretty much instant death, but we avoided them fairly successfully, and managed to charm one a couple of times. It turns out we suck at damaging them, but they are really good at damaging each other, so that helped a ton.

But sneaking Wolgraff past them is also good, and that…OK, when you get to the top of those steps just stop and wait for Wolgraff to notice something. Then ONLY step on the spot he notices. Repeat.

Do not attempt to loot the attractive piles of bones scattered around off the path! Those are the bones of previous adventurers who strayed, and suffered instant death.

Do it for the bit of interesting plot on the other side! Honestly, there’s no particularly exciting loot and there’s no combat, so it’s not even that important to go there from a practical standpoint, but there is a bit of plot. We’ll talk later.

We also played a bit. Got in a fight with a demon. Too bad Jahan wasn’t there.

But I looked at the summary of the original generals’ letters in the log, and one was “even though the fighting is almost over, he still craves combat,” and the other was “people tell her she’s amazing but she just wants some peace and quiet.” Also, apparently, they were going to meet at a funeral. Hm. I still don’t remember where we got those on day 6.

Butch:

Figured. That kinda sucked. I am still but level 15. I wonder if there’s a way to learn whatever the fuck language that guy was speaking (and what that plaque said). Probably. Hmm.

Dammit, Wolgraff! I kept HOPING he’d notice something! He didn’t notice anything! I’ll have to jack up his perception somehow.

Oh I figured out not to check out the bones. Or the chests. That trick is as old as Indiana Jones: Put out ornate chests to lure dudes to their death. Though I bet you could teleport the chests.

We LIKE plot! On it.

Like a big boss demon? You’re not gonna do Jahan, are you? He’s really the best NPC plotwise. Mr. O is too damn practical.

You aren’t supposed to be playing dude! You have company! Don’t finish the game! Ha.

Have you gotten into Zandilor’s house yet? Or are we both at the same point of NOT being in Zandilor’s house?

Oh wait…I have those general entries. The funeral. Maybe it’s some deal where you get entry one and two and etc. when you find your first, second etc?

Weird. Lot of weird today.

You still also only have the one cutscene, right?

Feminina:

Interesting. I definitely remember reading those letters long ago… But maybe if you didn’t find them early, they automatically update when you get the diary, or something. Meh. We have the same info, that’s the important thing.

We eventually got into Zandalor’s house. And out again. We barely survived, though. It is full of nasty traps. No spoilers, I don’t think, since people we met told us it would be. Anyway, we managed to avoid the traps enough to get a thing we needed, but we’ll have to go back and disarm them at some point. Because of reasons. And loot.

Butch:

So you can do all that without rescuing the people? Or did you kill the rat king? Cuz I want to kill the damn rat king. Fuck that guy.

And no, not spoilers. I went there to take a look at it, and yeah, certainly had that trap house kind of feel. That it did. What with all the traps and all. Figured I’d come back after rescuing dudes.

I also think I know what one needs there. A key, yes?

Feminina:

We did talk to the people, and that’s how we got into the house. Now we have to clear the house so they can hide out in it, basically. Or we could kill the rat king, but they seemed to feel that sooner or later their hiding place would be discovered, so it would be very nice if we managed to clear those traps so they could hide there. I’m not totally clear on how they figured the house would stay safe for them once it wasn’t trapped to high heaven, but hey, that’s their lookout. I just took the quest.

And then promptly abandoned it to go fight a demon. As we do.

Butch:

Oh so you found the people? I figured you either had to a) kill the rat king or b) do the thing in the torture chamber that I completely fucked up and got killed doing in order to find them. You can just find them?

So confused. That’s what I get for talking to cats.

Either way, fuck that rat king. He’s so gone.

Once I find someone to sell me another meteor strike scroll…..

Feminina:

Screw the rat king! But the people…well…you do have to go down in the dungeon there. Is that where you died horribly? We messed that up the first time too, but yeah, you have to go through there. Free the prisoners, and they’ll tell you how to find the people.

You do have to kill everyone down there in the process, though, so there’s a fair bit of fighting.

Butch:

I don’t think so, dude. Cuz the cat told me that if I got rid of the rats, she’d tell me where to go. She seemed to think it was all clear with the rats dead.

We shall see.

Yes, it was that bit of fighting that led to horrendous death.

Feminina:

Oh right. Yeah, OK, the cat might also tell you. She didn’t tell us, because we haven’t killed the rat king, but she probably could. We learned it from one of the prisoners, but there’s no reason he’d have to be the only one who knew.

Butch:

Hey, when I TRIED to free the prisoner, he was totally unhelpful. I couldn’t convince him I could keep my cover, when made HIM all “AIEE! THEY’LL KILL ME CUZ OF YOU!” to which I thought “Dude, they’re gonna kill you oh hell here they are.”

Sorry, prisoner. I’m going with the cat’s plan.

Feminina:

Go into the room at the end with the one dude sitting there, and push the button. That’s what we did. Then fight everyone.

Or go with the cat’s plan, that’s good too.

Butch:

See, that’s another difference between the way we play. I’m always “I’m not pushing that button until I have to, because it is likely something very awful will happen.” You are always “BUTTON!”

Feminina:

I am! I am always “BUTTON!!!!!”

What’s the worst that can happen? We all die horribly? Pft. We were going to do that anyway.

Butch:

LONG T SHIRT!!!!

Fine, Fine, Here’s Some Story

Tags

challenge level, combat, companions, Divinity: Original Sin, plot, theme

Spoilers for the mine location in Divinity: Original Sin

Butch:

Well, I still think my theories are correct, but I don’t know, because I got nothing.

The kids had no school at all yesterday cuz conferences, Mrs. McP was at home, nana came over, and the end of the day was for staring into space with booze.

Not games.

And now my house is falling apart again. Sigh.

But Meatball has stay and play. I may look for Marandino.

I need a week off.

Feminina:

We played. Guess what we did.

Go on, guess! You’re going to guess “absolutely anything in the entire world except go to the mine?” and that is a very, very good guess.

However, it is wrong. We went to the mine. Yes. We did.

First we killed the spider queen, and I’ve figured out the secret to making that fight not be as hard as it was for you: be 17th level.

Because it was a piece of cake for us. Did it first try, no one died, two of us didn’t even get a scratch. AND she laid all her eggs, so it’s not like we didn’t give her a fighting chance. We didn’t have XP pop when each individual egg/spiderling died, but we did get 7850 when the queen died, so maybe that was her being worth more with the eggs and spiders included? So yeah, you were cheated. By being too smart, and not high-level enough. Sorry, man.

Then we poked around, didn’t find Maradino, but found the Immaculate who referred to himself in the third person and wanted us to find his imp slave for him and give him a bloodstone to heal himself. Refused the bloodstone (dude, you’re our mortal enemy AND a slave-holding jerk, you’re not getting treasure from us!), gained a point of Vindictive. Which, sure, that’s fair. Call me petty, but I AM a bit vindictive when it comes to people who espouse slavery and the slaughter of innocents while attempting to destroy the universe. That stone you want to heal your wounded leg with was probably crafted with the blood of some random animal or villager. You can stagger home on your own, jerkass. Or get eaten by spiders if we left any alive out here. Whichever.

Wolgraff was pleased by this, but Bairdotr said something philosophical about the virtues of forgiveness or something. Setting aside that principle of obedience NOW, are you? Not that I care–she’s welcome to express her opinion. It’s just funny that she’s disagreeing with us after that whole Jareth debacle.

Then, because we were in the area already, and in defiance of all historical precedent, we actually WENT TO THE MINE. Wolgraff sneaked in past the Death Knights, found Leandra, she teleported us all there to taunt us and disappear, and we fled the room pursued very slowly by Death Knights. Sure is convenient that those ‘unfinished’ ones aren’t nearly as fast as the ones that were chasing us down and murdering us earlier! We even took the time to loot on the way out. Picked up some mining tools and such. Those were worth good money when we sold them to the ghost in the crypt later.

So yeah, we took the Mirror of Astarte around the place, looted like mad, blew ourselves up in the crypt, found Leandra’s Spell, and made it out to the Sun Above. (Naturally, we attempted to visit the Gold Within first, but the way was blocked.) Then we called it a night.

Now we have to check back with Icara so we can NOT get a bunch of cutscenes because the end of time is under attack. Also, report back to Lawrence that the mine has collapsed. Not our fault! Witches, man.

So, a productive evening.

Go look for Maradino.

Butch:

You…..um…twin dungeons?

WOW! I guessed wrong!

God damn it. I have not had a good morning. I am angry at my house and children, and now I am angry at this spider. Dammit! I earned that XP! And instead they give it to people that don’t need it.

Grumble.

Ah…see….I did heal that guy, and told him to leave his imp alone and he attacked. I did that…well..because I was with Madora, and, when you do Madora’s bit, we can dish on whether I metagamed or not. I’m going to argue that I didn’t, but…I’m not sure.

We’ll talk. Later.

Forgiveness. Remember this.

Ok….so you met the guy in the crypt? And there was one other place there that wasn’t the big library with all the plot. What was it?

Because see, this was one of the first times that source was seen as something that wasn’t bad. That ghost dude was truly surprised that we DIDN’T like source. He really did make a good case that source was something very positive, and not at all what the source hunters (that would be us) think it is. I didn’t know what to make of that.

And…here’s an oddity…we know that Icara lied about the night of Jake’s murder. She said that Zandilor (her lover, ex lover, whatever) was there, and that HE called her there, or Leandra did, and Icara was surprised to find him in Leandra’s arms, right? But that letter showed that Icara herself was the one who told Zandilor to come to the inn where he was subsequently assaulted/saved/whatever. Which should cause us to cast some doubt on the overall accuracy of that first cutscene there. Right?

And I WANTED to go back and call Icara out on that, be all “Uh…dude? You…forgot to mention that you sent Zandilor to that whole murder thing yourself? Uh…wanna ‘splain that?” But there was no dialog option.

So am I right about all that?

What else happened in there? IT’S BEEN SO LONG SINCE I DID IT!

Feminina:

It’s unfair! I agree with you on this! Unfair, yet so true to life, that those who already have plenty of XP find it easier to get more than those who really need it.

Damn it, I picked up that letter, but I forgot to read it. So I don’t know if you’re right or not. I’ll read it next time and get back to you.

We went to the library, the high priest’s office (where we found all the good loot), and the crypt. It was interesting to hear that guy’s horrified denial of the way we perceive Source. “No, no, that’s horribly wrong! What do you do, chase down innocents healed by Source and injure them again?” or whatever.

I didn’t find him that surprising, I guess, because we’ve had some conversation with Icara where she challenged what we think we know about source, so I think we’ve been operating under the assumption that it can have a good side for a while now. But you’re right, this guy was interesting in that he didn’t seem to have any concept of it having a BAD side.

Perhaps it will turn out that we’re supposed to bring balance to the source, or something. It’s neither good nor evil, but is merely turned to good or evil ends by human designs? Hm.

What else happened there…well, I think that kind of sums it up. Talking to Leandra about her plan to bring peace to the universe by returning it to the Void, looting the library, looting the office, talking to that ghost in the crypt, dodging lava and meteors, and we’re done!

Oh, and Bairdotr, who can use tenebrium weapons, shot at one of the death knights with a tenebrium bow, but it did nothing. Possibly because she didn’t have any tenebrium arrows, or possibly because they are invulnerable to literally everything without the spell.

Butch:

Ok, dude? That was the plot point. You knew about the death knights, yadda yadda, but THAT was the damn plot point!

Hit read BEFORE you pick shit up.

How are you ahead of me????

Read the damn letter.

Except you, too, didn’t get to the golden within. And you can’t. Rat told me.

Themes!

What IS the golden within? We assumed it was, like, actual loot, but what if it wasn’t? What if it was Eden, or salvation or something? What if the thing that’s really at the “heart” of the temple isn’t for us? Or anyone, for that matter? The rat said it didn’t exist. I’m not so sure that our assumption that it’s just “gold” was accurate.

Theme 2: The library wasn’t all that interesting. We had essentially a useless library in a temple. That was destroyed. Discuss.

Theme 3: right after learning the golden within isn’t accessible, you go back “to the sun.” That’s how it was phrased. Not “to the surface,” the “sun.” I didn’t know what to make of that.

Especially as this is in stark contrast to to the last house of worship we saw: the “Abandoned [Christian] church.” This thing looked and felt far more “other,” far more like something in a fantasy game, not anything that resembled real life like that last church. I’m still pondering that, too.

None. And Icara sorta does admit that it does, even if we don’t know anything.

What’s interesting about the dude there was he was very old. He, as of long ago (or in the future, really, cuz time, but certainly not NOW) doesn’t think source has a bad side. And maybe it doesn’t! In some other timeline or different plane. But likely timeline.

Yup. Make the spell.

Oh! Helpful hint!

It’ll come as a spell book. You will likely do what I did, which was ponder who best to have it, as skill books can only be used once, right? Well, not this one. Pass it around. Everyone can use it. NPCs and all.

Feminina:

Ooh, that is a helpful hint.

And yeah, the library was surprisingly uninteresting. All those rows of books, and nothing to loot! Suggesting, perhaps, that all the good information had been lost/stolen already? Leandra (or something else) has taken everything of value from this place and made it hers?

Because the high priest’s office (suggesting religion, but also bureaucracy…’office’ sounding more like a place of business) definitely had all the good loot. Maybe she brought all the good stuff from elsewhere in the temple to that office. And then the crypt seemed relatively untouched, since the ghost didn’t even seem to really know who Leandra/the Conduit was, so maybe she didn’t think of it as having any value?

We definitely pondered the phrasing of the final mirror. As you say, “the gold within” could really be a lot of things…as could “the sun above.” We guessed that “the sun above” meant going back to the surface, but if taken literally, it could mean we were deposited into the sun itself (INSTANT DEATH). Or, less literally, it could be some presence of holy power or something, that metaphorically helps us grow and reach our full potential. “Gold within” could be a soul, as you say, or a treasure underground.

Given that the reading of “sun above” proved to be the most obvious, non-poetic one, it kind of makes sense that “gold within” is also a literal, non-poetic location of treasure, but that’s not necessarily true. Or maybe, as the rats say, it doesn’t exist.

Maybe the sequel will be all about hunting for it.

Butch:

Which, again, is interesting about the library and the office. The “bad guy” wants knowledge, which ties into “sin” itself. She doesn’t want faith.

Maybe the gold is literal….but I now know exactly how I can be right about Scarlett and there can be a sequel. I even said “HA!” at the screen.

How? Cuz I grabbed Jahan and Bairdotr and went and chatted with goblin pole. This brought forth an AMAZING amount of knowledge from Jahan, who is even more batshit than Bairdotr (indeed, he, too, spent a…long time…living with the animals and prefers them. YET MORE themeage to consider later. So much themeage…). Now, if I extend my theory (as I have) to say that Bairdotr and Jahan are ALSO nuts then…

I’ll stop here cuz you might travel with Jahan. Cuz he. Said. Stuff.

And I found the hideout!!!!! HA!!!! It’s a good day! I was exactly right about where it was! You had to listen really, really closely to what the immaculate with the broken leg you saved said last night. If you want more, I’ll give.

So I’m there. STUFF! PLOT!

And practically no XP!

Shit.

Feminina:

“You seem to be doing fine with no XP. No XP good for you? Great. Meanwhile, those weirdos haring all over creation over there, taking 6 months to make it to the mine, they clearly need all the help they can get. Pile on the experience!”

We’ll get Jahan. It’s going to be great.

At least your day got better after that inauspicious beginning of hating everything.

Butch:

I do seem to be doing fine! But there was nothing to fight to get there. Just something to find. So a level 1 character could have done it. Of course.

Man, Jahan….Has. Stuff. To. Say.

You were so very close. As per usual.

How is it you magpie and find 32198579847 worth of XP and miss the plot stuff?

Oh, I also freed some dude’s sheep and lovelorn cattle. I told them to chase their dreams. They’ll likely die.

I still hate everything.

Feminina:

I wanted to tell those animals to run for their lives, but I couldn’t find a dialogue option for it! It was just kind of “well…good luck.” They certainly died.

As is only appropriate for my personal narrative of us as the harbingers of doom.

Butch:

The chill rabbit was all “Hey..I’m gonna go my own way, man…”

I liked that rabbit.

Feminina:

Speaking of rabbits, did you talk to the rabbit in the desert who claimed to be a dragon in disguise?

“Begone, WEAKLING!!!”

Oooookay…later, rabbit. Enjoy the sand! We weren’t about to mess with that rabbit, although more because we had no good reason to than because we were filled with terror.

I mean, it might even be true that he or she was a dragon. Stranger things have happened in this game.

Well, equally strange things, anyway.

Butch:

HA! No. But he likely was a dragon.

This game does have its moments….Curious to see what Marandino has in store.

Feminina:

Yeah, it would have been funny if we decided to attack the rabbit, and then it roasted us into instant death with blazing fire breath. I hope it WAS a dragon! But I’m not going back to find out.

Oh, speaking of moments, we enjoyed the way one of the options for trying to open the door of the temple was “mellon.” Nice Tolkien reference, game. We went with the goblin chief’s name instead because…he seemed like he might have been involved? And it worked. Maybe anything we said would have worked, though?

Butch:

Nah, you just guessed right. If you destroy the bone totem, which you forgot about, it frees the undead workers, who reward you by telling you the password before they go to the hall of echoes.

Feminina:

D’oh! We did forget about that. Well, I guess those undead are stuck there for eternity. Sorry, guys.

Or let’s just imagine that the totem was destroyed in the mine collapse, shall we? I’m going to go with that.

Butch:

Let’s. They’ll be fine.

You somehow manage to kill dead people, even. Or damn them. Or something.

Feminina:

You know what, though, I actually remember talking to those dudes and seeing them go off to the hall of echoes, so we MUST have destroyed the totem! And then forgotten both the fact that we destroyed it, and the fact that the dudes told us the password.

Although come to think of it, I do remember seeing on our log “we know the password to the temple” and thinking “we know the what now?” so…we DID save them. And learned the password, which we then forgot by the time we got to the door, forcing us to make a lucky guess at something we should have known.

Well…it’s good that we saved them. Although the level of forgetfulness involved in this story is a little alarming.

We’re probably insane.

Butch:

Either that or you have a very good subconscious memory! That password was just living in there, right next to the password to our blog and your last phone number.

Or you’re insane.

Feminina:

Either one of those things is quite likely to be true.

At least those undead were freed. That and Alfie are pretty much our only actual good deeds so far.

Butch:

You ASSUME they were freed.

HA! I say to the screen.

Cuz this game slips in a lot of subtle dialog without doing anything as overt as putting Rivellon in quotes and pointing it out.

HA!

I just hope there’s a sorceress at some point.

We should talk about blood one of these days.

And sorceresses.

Feminina:

I will await learning about how right you are. Which, if we have to wait until we stop the attack on the end of time to get more plot, will probably be about half an hour before the end of the game…ah well. It’s a bit odd that they left a plot-obstructing option like that just out there in the desert where any wandering magpies could stumble across it.

I mean, the ruin could easily have been empty until you got through the mine, or something. Zixzax didn’t HAVE to be there making that announcement as soon as you see the place.

Ah well.

Butch:

Yeah, it’s pretty fascinating.

I’m so proud of me.

Or I’m crazy.

Or both.

Feminina:

Crazy people can be legitimately proud of themselves. Especially when they produce brilliant blog content on a regular basis.