Some spoilers for Uncharted: Lost Legacy story points
So I played some. Finished up the bow and arrow temple, then drove to the waterfall. There’s a trophy for doing that drive in three minutes of real time. I didn’t win that. It’s a long drive.
Now…I am conflicted.
The action bits? The swingy jumpy bits? Great stuff. The banter? Also great. But then….
I activated the crank, water flowed, hooray. Success! Bad assed women!
Who then started talking about men. They compared daddy issues. They talked about the Drake brothers. They talked about being products of their fathers (not parents, not mothers, fathers) and they talked about the Drake boys. After all that bad assed womanhood! Like, now?
Didn’t like it. Let these bad assed women be bad assed.
Yeah, this bit was a little like “hey, there aren’t any men here right now, but rest assured, we definitely think about them all the time to make sure they’re here in spirit!”
I do think (unless I’m forgetting something later) that this was the major instance of that happening and maybe they kind of just figured they’d talk about all the men at once and get it out of the way… The dads do come up again in kind of practical terms based on the fact that footsteps are being followed, etc., and I won’t say the Drake brothers don’t come up again, but…I dunno, I think this was the most dedicated example?
And, I mean, there’s nothing wrong with talking about your past and stuff. I like to learn more about characters from their conversation! And sure, talking about people they both know is pretty obvious. And no doubt the writers figured they should talk about people we, the players, also know, because hey, everyone wonders what those two crazy cats are up to!
But you’re right, it did turn out to be basically a “let’s discuss the men in our lives,” session, with, as you point out, the mothers apparently having had so little impact that it wasn’t worth mentioning. Or, I suppose, we could imagine that they both have such great, loving, healthy relationships with their moms that there’s nothing at all to say in what was kind of a gripe session!
Because that kind of relationship between any parent and any child is so, so common and is really definitely positive and not a sign that no one thought to include any dialogue on mothers because it didn’t occur to anyone that mothers would provide any kind of influence, good or bad. Meh.
I know! Which was kinda annoying. There was no need for that. We were doing so well with the whole Bechdel test! Sigh.
It is true that it isn’t THAT weird that they gave a nod to Drake. I mean, if you slap “Uncharted” on the box, people are going to at least wonder about Drake. Makes sense. But it was also the timing that pissed me off. This wasn’t a “Hey, we’re stuck on this boat…wanna just have a beer, shoot the shit?” moment, this was right after all sorts of bad assery. This was “Whoo! MAN we kick ass! Wanna talk about the men who inspired us to be this way?”
And it annoyed me.
And yeah not talking about mom…Uh…maybe it was a compliment to mothers? Let’s face it: as cool as they are, we probably wouldn’t want our daughters to grow up to be Chloe and Nadine. “Sure, they’re thieves and murderers and they have casual sex with winners like Nathan Drake, but MAN are they cool!” is not something we’d want for our kids. Maybe this is the game saying “Hey, they probably wound up this way because their mothers, who SO would’ve been better parents, were ignored. Had they listened to their mothers, they probably would’ve been librarians with a blog.”
Let’s go with that.
Ha! I like that.
“Men will steer you wrong, kids. Listen to your mom, get a stable job, blog on the side.”
Of course that leaves out you and your wise decision NOT to encourage your kids to become thieves and destroyers of ancient archeological sites of precious value to our understanding of the history of human civilization. Good dads get no respect, man. Just like good moms.
Because let’s face it, if they had talked about their moms it would be all “yeah, she was a drunk who used to throw bottles at me to try to knock me off the side of the house while I was practicing my climbing, which seemed like tough but loving practice help at the time until I realized she was genuinely hoping I’d fall and die and she could cash in on the giant life insurance policy she’d taken out on me…”
A parent’s ultimate goal is not to be talked about. You know, just do the job without leaving any permanent psychological damage and hope they complain to their friends about the Drake brothers instead of you.
Hey, I don’t want dads in games at all. ESPECIALLY good dads. Bad dads get blame and issues and murderous kids. Good dads get blame and issues and murderous kids and killed before the end of the tutorial. A-OK to leave me out, thank you very much.
Not being talked about. Amen, sister. Best to be but a shadow. Think about it. Your average shrink is all “Tell me about your parents,” and then it’s once a week forever. Think if people were all “Tell me about your parents,” and patients were all “Who?” Shrinks would say “You’re cured!”
Parents. Striving for irrelevance.
After all, it beats dying before the end of the tutorial.
Dying before the end of the tutorial sucks. Interferes with our plans to play video games in the old folks home.
Yeah, I think we’ve hit on it: the best parent is one who warrants absolutely no mention. At absolute most you want a quick acknowledgement and dismissal to show you’re alive and not horrible: “yeah, they’re fine. Still playing games in the home, can’t pry those controllers out of their hands, you know? Now about those Drake brothers…”
That’s my goal.
“Yeah, they’re fine. Still playing video games in the home. Buying them with all that money they have which we never ask them for.”
THAT’S the dream.
Boom, done. You’re right, that’s key.
Dream now locked in.
“While enjoying the booze we randomly bring them as gifts.”
It gets better and better!
Just be careful it doesn’t get TOO amazing, or we’ll become one of those “and then they tragically died in a console accident one day before winning the lottery” cautionary tales about how you have to be careful not to anger the gods with your awesomeness.
We’ll just leave the details of our daily pie ration unspoken, but understood.
But shit, Femmy, after the last few days the Gods owe me.
They owe us all, big time. Where do we send that bill?