Some vague spoilers for the modern-day story in AC: Odyssey
Butch:
Holy plot dump Batman!
I mean, where to begin? Where, indeed.
No, I’m really asking, cuz I have no idea, cuz I don’t understand anything that’s happening anymore.
So….uh….the hipsters are assassins…but some of them have defected from Abstergo, who are Templars? Or not? And there’s a Japanese guy who’s….badass? I guess? And some of them are just in it for the science? And the spear is the tech of these “old ones” who lifted up humanity and are probably the Greek gods, or, at least, the things revered as Greek Gods? So we get into the whole “What are gods, anyway?” theme? Or something?
What am I doing, I can’t do themes right now. I don’t even know what the fuck just happened.
But the hipsters aren’t really into the whole templar/assassin thing, they just want the Isu (Isu, I guess, is the old ones and the gods and all that shit) tech? Or something? But they’re afraid Abstergo’s gonna attack them because…..what, Templars?
Ah, Femmy. Remember the days when we were all “Maybe they’re getting away from the weird for good?” Those days? Good days.
Now I’m reading about an eye that killed Desmond (that I recognized from early games) and Egypt (that was the last one?) and Australia (no idea) and a whole lot of other stuff that other people went “WHOA” about, I’m sure.
So much for getting away from the weird.
But I did note, upon returning, that she was all “You’re gonna be in there a while….” So, what? The game’s all “We’re gonna dump ALL this here shit on you then ignore it for another thirty hours?”
What?
WHAT??????
I’m so confused.
And then! Then! I went back to Greece, toodled around some, found some level 45….thing…that was in a “legendary beast” lair or some shit. We have to fight beasts? LEGENDARY beasts?????
So then I just killed a level 16 cultists while she was sleeping (not very sporting) just to do something normal.
I’m so confused.
Feminina:
Hahahahaha!!!! I know!!! It’s so great! I sure was wrong about “maybe they’re backing away from the aliens and the weirdness,” all right!
I’m kind of psyched. BRING ON THE ALIEN WEIRDNESS.
Welcome to AC the way we used to know it, man! Confusing as all hell. I feel so at home.
Here, read this: https://www.polygon.com/assassins-creed-odyssey-guide/2018/10/5/17932242/layla-hassan-assassins-creed-origins-odyssey-explained
It briefly covers what happened in the last game to bring us up to date on what’s going on in the ‘real world’ in this one. I believe those are the references to Egypt. Australia, I don’t know, maybe that was the game before.
You may also enjoy the recommended related article https://www.polygon.com/2018/10/2/17926100/assassins-creed-odyssey-animus. That dude makes some fair points arguing that it’s time to get rid of the Animus and the modern-day story entirely. Even speaking as one of the 10 people who actually kind of likes that stuff…he makes some good points. And I wonder if maybe they’re not edging in that direction with this whole bit in Layla’s emails about the “world as a simulation” idea.
Maybe at some point there will be a big reveal: this WHOLE UNIVERSE is actually a big game being played by…YOU! [Ponderous turn of the camera towards the player’s own face. DUN DUN DUN. Honestly, they’re probably just waiting until everyone has the technology to do that reveal.]
Because at that point, they could indeed just get rid of the Animus and the modern day storyline. It’s over, we know this is just a game, so from now on we’re just going to load it up and dive right into whatever lovely environment has been crafted as our killing field this go-round.
But in the meantime…enjoy the bafflement.
Butch:
Oh HELL no.
I read the polygon thing and I am still confused.
There’s no assassins in Greece cuz they were founded later? So…isn’t this ASSASSIN’S Creed?
And yeah! We’re ALL a simulation!
I do not enjoy the bafflement! We blog on themes and narrative and all that shit! It’s hard to think deeply about something when it hurts your brain to think about it at all!
I think that’s a T SHIRT!!!!! but I’m too confused to know for sure!
But let me get this straight…..the early AC games were, like, the first games you played, right? Except DAO?
You did this nonsense and said “Yes. YES! THIS is the hobby for me?”
I’m glad you said that, but dude. Dude.
Feminina:
Dude, we already knew this was pre-Assassins! We knew the Brotherhood of Assassins wasn’t founded until closer to the time of the Crusades, when the Templar/Assassin conflict really got underway. This is proto-Assassin/proto-Templar and we knew that and I’m fine with it.
And yes, AC2 was about the third game I played, and I thought it was great. Mostly, to be fair, I thought the in-Animus sections were great, because they were SO DAMN BEAUTIFUL. And the gameplay was also great.
But the modern-day story was weirdly intriguing as well, and it bled into the game in interesting ways that no longer apply. There were, like, barcodes on buildings that you would scan to see flashbacks to alien/god stuff from prehistory and…you probably had to be there. But it was cool.
Did I mention I was constantly stoned in those days?
(Not really. But that might be a good explanation.)
Also, always remember: modernity is about .5% of your playtime.
Even if I’d always hated that part of the games, I could (would) still have loved AC for its phenomenally detailed cityscapes and the opportunity to climb around on cathedrals in Renaissance Florence.
And the assassinating. Never forget the stealthy murdering.
Butch:
Dude, didn’t you read that link? So and so founded the Assassins in Egypt in the last game!
Being stoned would explain quite a bit.
I can see why you loved DAO, what with the romancing dudes in armor. But AC? Where were the brooding dudes?
Let’s face it: It wasn’t the graphics or the gameplay or the story. It was the question marks.
It’s where you discovered your magpie. And, let’s face it, your magpie is very important to you.
Feminina:
No, that thing founded in Egypt was ALSO a proto-Assassin group! Apparently called “the Hidden Ones.” The Order of Assassins proper was, I believe, still founded in the 11th century. Undoubtedly building on the foundations of various proto-Assassin groups from which the Assassins proper learned all their cool tricks.
Let’s not go confusing things here.
Ha.
AC did always suffer from a tragic lack of romance. Siiiiigh. But the climbing and sneaking and murdering made up for it. I loved those games so much.
Butch:
Are you hearing yourself? Are you reading the words you are typing trying to explain this game? This series? I’m glad we are separated by email, because, right now, the crazed gleam you likely have in your eye would terrify me. Serious “I should change subway seats to get away from this weirdo” gleam.
Feminina:
You had to be there, man.
You just had to be there. It was a different time. And Renaissance Florence was so very beautiful.
Butch:
That’s better. Be calm. Calm yourself.
It’s funny, I’ve been blogging with you a long time, and I’ve known you far longer, and you really only get that half crazed zeal when you’re talking about AC.
And you were doing so well avoiding it thus far! Playing the game calmly, having themey discussions when themes actually presented themselves, that sort of thing.
Then, one hipster scene and BOOM.
It wasn’t even in Florence, dude! It was in some dingy apartment…or something.
So confusing that I don’t even know what it was!
Feminina:
Yeah, I don’t know where that was. Some half-furnished space in a rainy city somewhere.
It hardly matters, does it? They know that’s not why we’re here. We’re here for the Animus (later to be revealed as the PS12).
We’re here for the game.
Butch:
I hope that’s not the PS12! Hard enough to game in peace without Québécois hipsters trying to kill me.
Feminina:
We’ve seen the future! And it isn’t pretty.
Butch:
Tell me about it. About to pick up the kids.
Feminina:
We are so going to rejoice when they finally impale us on spikes and move on with their adult lives.
Butch:
No more making dinner…doing dishes…socks on the floor….
Bring the spikes.
Feminina:
Outlook suggests:
“OK.”
“OK, thanks.”
“OK, I will.”
Good to know our email is fully behind this project.
Butch:
Given the general tone of our daily banter, I’m sure hotmail wants to be rid of us, too.
Play First. Talk Later. 
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